She shook her head. “But I can’t settle if we don’t try to do something, Kenny. I think there’s even a part of me that wants my old friend back, y’know? I miss her.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, ok? You’re supposed to be taking it easy so just let me handle things.”
She leaned over and kissed his cheek, squeezing his hand. “You’re a star, Kenny.”
He smiled. “Yeah, well, don’t tell everyone.” He stood up, letting go of her hand and grabbing his drink from the table. “I’m off to get a re-fill. See you in a bit.”
She watched him leave and stood up, walking over to Vince who was standing by the open French doors. Outside, coloured fairy lights lit up the vast garden as they twinkled in the trees around the pool and patio. It looked beautiful and serene.
“It’s a fantastic place you’ve got here, India,” Vince said, staring out ahead of him.
She smiled. “I like it.”
He turned to look at her. “You’ve made him really happy you know. I’ve known Mike a long, long time and this is the first time I’ve seen him so happy, so settled. And a baby … how about that, huh?”
She smiled again, looking out at the sight that was her Californian dream garden. “Yeah ... I’m still trying to get used to the idea myself if I’m honest.”
Vince leaned back against the wall. “You’re happy about it though, aren’t you?”
She nodded, looking over at Michael who was busy distributing champagne around the room. “Of course I’m happy, Vince, it’s just ...”
“Just what? Come on sweetheart, if you want to talk about it I’m here.”
Since that conversation with Kenny she’d suddenly become a little unsettled. She just wished she knew exactly why that was.
She looked at Vince. “Have we rushed into everything too quickly? I mean ... it just seems to be going so fast. Even before the baby.”
“Do you love him?” Vince asked. “Forget about the baby for a minute but, Michael ... do you love him?”
She nodded, stupidly feeling a tear start to fall down her cheek. “I love him like crazy. He’s turned me into someone I don’t even recognise at times, though, and that’s what scares me.”
“Hey ... come here, come on.” He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. “What’s all this? You were so happy before. What’s happened?”
“Nothing’s happened ... I am happy Vince ... Jesus, it’s the bloody hormones kicking in already. Ignore me, I’m just being stupid.”
Vince tilted up her chin so she was looking straight at him. “Don’t ever doubt that he loves you, India. Don’t ever, ever doubt that because that man is crazy about you.”
“I know,” she whispered, smiling as she watched Michael walk back over to them. “I know he is.” And wasn’t that all that mattered? When all was said and done?
Vince quickly kissed her forehead, squeezing her shoulders. “Maybe it has all happened quickly, sweetheart, and I know that after Kenny you’re unsure, and understandably a bit wary, but Michael loves you more than you can imagine, and he won’t hurt you. He won’t.”
“Hey ... is this man bothering you, baby?” Michael smiled. Vince smiled back, giving India one last hug and a knowing wink.
“He’s been the perfect gentleman,” India smiled back, letting go of Vince and slipping her hand into Michael’s.
“That’d be a first. There’s a ‘phone call from Vegas for you, Vince. You can take it in the study.”
“Ok. Thanks.”
India watched him leave then turned to Michael, looking up into those blue eyes and wishing, just for a second, that they could take a few steps back, just to let her think about things more clearly, while another part of her hoped it really was just the hormones making her feel this unsettled all of a sudden.
“You ok?” he asked, leading her outside onto the patio.
“I’m fine. Really, I’m fine. Can we just stay out here for a bit though?”
“Of course we can, honey. Do you want to go for a walk?”
She smiled, partly at the fact that he was being so kind and partly at the reality that she owned a house with a garden so large that you could actually go for a walk around it. “Yeah. That’d be good.”
“Everybody seems pleased about the baby,” he went on, leading the way down to the small guest bungalow by the other side of the pool. “Even Kenny.” He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, raising one eyebrow. She realised then that Kenny had been right. Michael had sussed her out.
“Ok,” she sighed. “So I told him this afternoon, I couldn’t wait.”
He laughed, squeezing her hand. “It’s ok. It’s fine. He’s your best friend, of course you’d want to tell him.”
“You don’t mind?”
He pulled her into his arms. “Of course I don’t mind. I don’t mind who knows.”
“But not the press, not the public, not yet.”
“No,” he whispered, moving in to kiss her gently. “No, not yet.”
She gave into his kiss, falling against him almost in submission, too tired to fight the feelings that were crowding her head.
“Shall we pay a little visit to the guesthouse and grab a little time alone,” he smiled, slowly stroking the small of her back.
“Why not?” she smiled back, thinking that if anything could take her mind off things then sex was probably it. And in closing her eyes and letting his mouth touch hers again she gave in to everything, and forgot that any doubts existed at all.
***
Kenny walked over to Terry, who was standing alone by the huge Christmas tree in the corner of the room, not sure if what he was doing was totally right, but knowing it might be the only way to stop India from getting as involved as she wanted to be in something she shouldn’t really be involved in at all.
“Hey,” Terry said, smiling slightly. His relationship with Kenny still wasn’t anywhere near that of best friends but at least now they got on with each other.
“Hey there. Some news, huh?”
Terry finished his beer and put the empty bottle down on a nearby table.
“Well, I certainly wasn’t expecting it. But India seems happy enough.”
Kenny handed him another beer. “Can I have a word?”
Terry looked at him, taking the beer. “About India?”
“In a way.”
He explained about Charley, about the initial ‘phone call and the letters and how India was determined to find her friend and help her. No matter what anybody said.
“She hasn’t told Michael then?” Terry asked.
“No. And I don’t think we should either. He’ll stop it dead, he won’t have her put under any pressure, not now.”
Terry sighed. “Just when you think things couldn’t get any more fucking complicated ...”
“Sorry?”
“It doesn’t matter ... Christ! I thought we’d seen the last of Charley. And I certainly wasn’t planning on re-visiting that part of my life.”
“You don’t have to do anything, Terry, I just thought you should be aware of what’s going on with your sister.”
Terry looked at him. “Of course I’m going to do something, Kenny. I can’t just sit back and forget what you’ve told me. I used to love that girl once, and despite everything that went on I can’t ignore the fact that she’s in trouble now. I can’t do that. That’s not me. And then there’s India ... she needs to have as little to worry about as possible.”
“So, do you want to handle this together then?”
Terry held out his hand and Kenny shook it. “Yeah. We’ll handle it, together.”
Kenny smiled a relieved smile. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. We haven’t done anything yet.”
“We may just have stopped your sister from throwing herself head first into something she should be keeping well out.”
Terry looked at him again. “So, where do we even start?”
Kenny shrugged. “I’ll a
sk a few questions, speak to a few people, see what they know. You just keep India out of this as much as you possibly can.”
“Kenny ... just how much trouble is Charley really in?”
“She’s with Jimmy Cash, that’s more trouble than she needs to be in, believe me.”
“Shit! How the hell did she get herself in this deep?”
Kenny shrugged again. “It happens. She got involved in an unpredictable world.”
Wasn’t everyone’s world unpredictable right now, thought Terry, as Kenny started to walk away.
“Look, Kenny ... thanks, ok?”
Kenny turned round. “For what?”
“For caring about India.”
He smiled. “Now, that’s a job I’ll never get tired of.”
Terry watched him leave and took a long swig of beer. He was beginning to dread getting up in the morning, not knowing what bombshell was going to be thrown at him next. But one thing he did know was that if Charley was in trouble then he’d help her. Everyone deserved a second chance. Even Charley. So he’d find her. He’d find her and he’d make sure the old Charley came home, back where she belonged. With him.
CHAPTER 20
Christmas had been a quiet one and that’s what India had wanted. She’d had too much going on in her head, too many things playing on her mind. 1997 had just begun and this was a year in which she was going to become a mum, a year in which things would change dramatically, there was no doubt about that. A baby was going to change them all, she couldn’t see how it wouldn’t.
But she was having a very private struggle with the idea of a baby. Once the initial euphoria and excitement had died down her head had become filled with all sorts of doubts and questions she just couldn’t seem to answer. Questions she didn’t want Michael to know about because she didn’t want him to know she had any doubts. She couldn’t. He was over the moon about becoming a father, he couldn’t stop smiling, couldn’t stop talking about it and she loved that, she loved to see it, loved to see him so happy, and she was happy too, of course she was. She just needed a bit longer to get used to the idea. It was so early, just a couple of months into the pregnancy, and she figured that maybe once she started showing it would become more real. When she felt that first kick she might start to believe it was actually happening. Right now, though, she didn’t look pregnant – her stomach was still flat and she’d put on no weight – and she didn’t feel pregnant, give or take the odd bout of morning sickness. She just wanted to feel it was real, and then maybe she could deal with the confusion.
She walked over to the window of Michael’s Manhattan apartment, looking out at the view of Central Park. They were finally taking that much needed short break and it was a relief to be away from Los Angeles for a while, apart from the cold weather. After spending so much time in L.A. it took a bit of getting used to.
When Michael had suggested New York for their few days away she couldn’t have thought of anywhere more perfect, but then, anywhere away from L.A. was all she’d really wanted. But this was good. They had privacy, their own space, although they weren’t totally free from the paparazzi. They’d been snapped a few times already but the intrusion was quite mild compared to what they’d been getting over in L.A. Compared to what they were going to get when news of the baby got out, because she knew it couldn’t stay a secret forever. She just hoped that when the news did come out she’d be more used to the idea herself than she was at the minute.
“Everything ok?” Michael asked, slipping his arms round her waist, gently kissing her neck. She leaned back against him and closed her eyes.
“Everything’s fine.” She turned round and smiled at him. “Everything’s perfect.”
He kissed the tip of her nose and pulled her closer. “Good. That’s good. So, how do you fancy going out to dinner tonight? I know this great little place with fantastic food, maybe a little bit of dancing afterwards ...”
She couldn’t help smiling again. “Dancing?”
“Not the kind of dancing you’re thinking about, kiddo,” he laughed. “This kind of dancing.” He started to gently spin her around the room and she threw her head back and laughed, clinging onto him as they fell onto one of the sofas in front of the fire.
“Oh, ok, that kind of dancing,” she giggled, opening her legs to let him lie between, pulling her knees up around him as he slowly kissed her open mouth.
“Yeah. That kind of dancing.” He smiled that smile and she felt her heart skip a little beat. She couldn’t work out who she was sometimes, especially since the baby. She only knew that with Michael she felt different, she felt protected, cared for, and loved. She’d never really experienced that before, she’d never had that feeling of security, and it was becoming increasingly obvious to her that it was something she’d always craved. Michael could give her it all, he could give her that love, he could give her that security.
“I think I’d quite like to go dancing,” she whispered, making him smile again.
“I was hoping you’d say that.”
She closed her eyes as he kissed her, slowly and so gently it made her skin tingle. She’d never tire of this; she’d never, ever tire of this.
He jumped up and pulled her into his arms. “Let’s go shopping.”
She looked at him. “You want to go shopping? Are you feeling alright?”
“Baby stuff. Let’s go shopping for baby stuff. We’ve got to make a start sometime and they’ve got some great stores in this city.”
“You want to go shopping for baby stuff? Michael, if people see us even browsing round anything baby related they’re going to put two and two together and come up with the right answer.”
He tilted her face up to look at him, quickly kissing her. “And would that be such a bad thing?”
Yes, she wanted to say. Yes, it was a bad thing because she didn’t want the rest of the world knowing when she still had to get used to the idea herself. She couldn’t cope with all the questions; she didn’t want to have to just yet.
“Can’t we just wait, Michael? Please? A couple more weeks. Just a couple more weeks.”
He smiled, sensing her reluctance to put this out in the open so soon. “Ok, you’re right, we should wait a bit. I just want to tell the world that’s all. I want everyone to know.”
She reached up and gently stroked his cheek, smiling too. “I know you do. And you can do that, I promise you can do that but, not now, not here. Let’s just make the most of this time on our own because once this gets out they’re going to be watching us every time we step outside the front door, and I’m quite liking that not happening here. I’m quite liking it being just you and me.”
She already knew that when this baby arrived it would cease to be just her and Michael. It would no longer be just the two of them and she also knew that in the world they lived in, once the press and media got hold of the news, then it would also stop being just India and Michael. It would become India, Michael and their baby, and she wasn’t ready for that just yet. She wasn’t ready to share him.
He pulled her against him, his hands resting on her hips, his mouth moving closer to hers as he spoke. “Yeah ... I’m quite liking that too.” He kissed her quickly. “Maybe shopping’s a bad idea.”
She pulled away from him and smiled. “Hey, I never actually said shopping was a bad idea, mister. I just said baby shopping was a bad idea. But, I could really do with some new boots ... and I haven’t bought a new handbag since the summer ... yeah, I could really do with a new handbag.”
He laughed as she ran off into the hall, grabbing her coat and throwing his jacket and hat at him.
“There you go, Mikey. Let’s get out of here.”
He put his jacket on and she ran back over to him, pushing his hat down onto his head.
“Handbags. We’re going shopping for handbags.” But he had that smile on his face that said he didn’t really care where they went. He just wanted her to be happy.
“Well, you were the one who suggested shoppin
g,” she said innocently, grabbing his hand and leading him out into the hall, turning round to face him. “And if you’re a really good boy we can even buy something for you.”
“What I want doesn’t cost money,” he grinned, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her against him.
“Well, you’re going to have to wait for that, Michael, because I’ve now got my heart set on that handbag.” She kissed him quickly, slipping her hand into his and dragging him down the hall. “Come on, let’s go.”
“And if I let you have anything you want?”
She turned round and smiled. “Then I’ll repay the favour as soon as we get home.”
He smiled too. “Promise?”
She squeezed his hand. “Oh yes. I definitely promise.”
***
1997 was just a few days old and Reece had more than a hangover – he had Terry on his back, constantly. Christmas had come and gone and still he hadn’t found the right time to tell India the truth. There’d been too many people about, too much going on, and she looked too happy for him just to wade on in there with what he had to tell her. They were all nothing but excuses according to Terry and he was probably right. It was almost as if he was looking for as many excuses as he could in order to avoid telling her. She was pregnant for Gods’ sake, how could he drop this bombshell on her now? But, on the other hand, she was having his grandchild. Shouldn’t she know that? Shouldn’t she be able to have her dad with her through all this?
He sat at the table in his trailer, his head in his hands. Starting work on a new movie was turning out to be a welcome distraction but he knew that if he let it distract him too much from what he still had a duty to do, then Terry was going to take that responsibility out of his hands and tell her himself. He’d threatened as much and what could Reece do? Terry only wanted what was best for his sister, and she needed to know. But Reece just couldn’t work out how to break the news. How did you tell someone – someone that you didn’t even know had existed until a few years ago, someone whose complete childhood you missed out on – how did you tell them, completely out of the blue, that you’re their father?
No Matter What Page 21
