He’d had plenty of women as the years had gone on, but now, at the age of thirty-seven, he knew he’d never really been in love with anyone. Except India.
Those helpless feelings he’d had at the time of those events had stayed with him for months afterwards, and the guilt he’d carried with him had never gone away, even though nobody had put any blame on anyone. He’d just felt responsible in some way.
But what he’d been so thankful for, so grateful for, was that his friendship with India had remained intact. He hadn’t had a lot of contact with her during her time with Michael in Vegas, those months when she’d hidden herself away from the world, but then nobody had really had that much contact with her during that time, not even Vince, and he’d been in the same city. She’d called him a couple of times to see how he was doing, but he hadn’t been able to think straight until she’d arrived back in L.A. Although, arriving back with news of a wedding wasn’t what Kenny had wanted to hear. It wasn’t something he’d ever freely admitted to, because it had been a totally selfish thought, but he’d hoped, somewhere in the back of his mind, that she and Michael would have returned from Vegas further apart rather than closer together but that hadn’t been the case.
But, amidst the disappointment, he was just happy that she was back in his life, in whatever capacity that happened to be. He was still the one she turned to if she needed to talk, still the one she rang at 3am in the morning when Michael was out of town and she was lonely. He was still the one she hung out with at rock gigs and festivals and to still have that, after everything that had happened, was something Kenny never took for granted.
They’d spent one amazing weekend at Glastonbury when Michael had been over in the U.K. doing promotional work on a movie he’d had due out. While he’d been doing the rounds of radio stations and TV interviews, Kenny and India had commandeered an on-site trailer at the festival and had the best three days just hanging out and listening to music. It had been as if, for those precious few days, the old times had come back. A bit like the couple of hours he’d just spent with her down at Venice Beach. They’d had lunch, walked around for a bit watching everything go on around them, talking and laughing. It’d been fun. He loved those times. He always had.
He threw the script he’d been reading down on the floor and went outside, needing a breath of fresh air, even though he’d been outside for most of the day. The script was for a movie he’d had every intention of doing from the word go. He’d never been so sure of accepting a movie role before in his life but he hadn’t had to be asked twice for this one. Because his co-star was India Walsh.
***
Michael drove home faster than he maybe should have done but he was in a hurry. It wasn’t an emergency, well, not in the eyes of anyone else but him, but he hadn’t seen his beautiful wife for almost three months now and to say he’d missed her would be an understatement. And today was her birthday. He wanted to give her a special evening, anything she wanted they’d do. He smiled to himself; hoping one of those things would involve sex. Three months away had been hard, especially talking to her every day and knowing he couldn’t just reach out and touch her. He hated being away from her. He hated it with a passion but he couldn’t change it. This was what they did and this was what it involved but it didn’t mean to say that he had to get used to it.
It was worse when he knew she was in L.A. without him, when he knew she’d see Kenny, knew they’d be going out together and knowing that was never, ever going to get any easier. Even after everything that had gone on that nagging jealousy of their friendship still ate away at him. All these years he’d never let on to anyone that he knew about her and Kenny’s affair. There was no point really. What would he gain from it? India was his wife now and that was all that mattered. She’d married him. Surely now Kenny had got the message.
He smiled again as he remembered their wedding day, that beautiful, warm and sunny day that had signalled the end of the past and the beginning of their future. He could still remember turning round to see her walking up the aisle and feeling almost breathless at the sight of her. She’d looked stunning. Like a beautiful butterfly emerging from the cocoon of sadness she’d been wrapped in for so long. He’d seen it in her eyes, those dark clouds lifting and the brightness returning. It had been the day his angel had returned to him.
The only thing that had sometimes come between them over these first few years of marriage had been the subject of children. India just closed down whenever he tried to bring it up, she didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want to know anymore. Michael had always wanted to try again and in the beginning he’d tried to talk to her, tried to bring the subject up on many an occasion but she was having none of it. She didn’t want children and that was the end of it as far as she was concerned. Although he still hoped she’d change her mind because he wasn’t getting any younger. He was forty- nine years old now, still in good shape, still very fit, but Michael knew that kids were hard work and if they were going to have any he’d rather it was sooner than later.
Pulling up outside their Malibu beach house he practically jumped out of the car, running up the steps that led to the front door, throwing his bag and jacket onto the hall floor and walking through the house into the large and airy living room that looked out over the ocean. He smiled as he saw her lying on the sun lounger, tapping her fingers along to the music, her body covered only by a tiny white string bikini. This is what he loved coming home to. Three months away and he got to come home to his gorgeous wife dressed in next to nothing. He was one hell of a lucky man.
She had the doors to the garden closed, to keep the air conditioning inside working, so he quietly slid them open and walked outside, crouching down beside her, gently kissing her slightly open mouth.
“Happy birthday, kiddo.”
She opened her eyes and let out a little squeal, jumping up and throwing herself into his arms. “Michael!”
She hugged him tight, and then pulled away slightly so she could look at him. He’d lost his tan but then she knew better than anyone that three months in Britain could do that to someone, even in the middle of summer. But he looked in incredible shape. His role in this movie had been quite a demanding one and he’d spent months with a personal trainer before filming had begun so he’d looked good when he’d left for the U.K., but he looked even better now. She could feel through his shirt just how toned he was. His face had a touch of stubble on it as she ran her fingers over it, over that still-so-gorgeous mouth of his that, even after all these years, she still wanted to kiss for hours. He looked the sexiest she’d ever seen him look. He seemed to be getting better looking as he got older and she found herself getting turned on just at the thought of what might happen later.
She closed her eyes as his mouth lowered down onto hers in a deep, slow kiss, a kiss they’d both dreamed about for weeks, just enjoying the feel of each other again. This was always the thing that made up for being apart so much – the getting back together.
“I love you, Mrs Walsh,” he whispered, his mouth still touching hers as he untied her bikini top, throwing it aside, his fingers lightly stroking her breasts.
India caught her breath, the touch of him sending shivers right through her. “And I love you, Mr Walsh ... so ... can I have my presents now?”
He smiled, playing with the tie-sides of her bikini bottoms. “Which one would you like first?”
“You,” she breathed, as his lips covered her neck in soft, tiny kisses. He was driving her crazy and not five minutes through the door. “I want you. Right here, outside.”
“Right here, huh?”
“Right here, right now.”
He was still smiling, turned on like crazy despite the long flight. “Well, it is your birthday, and what the birthday girl wants the birthday girl gets.”
He pulled her bikini bottoms away, and, as he pushed her back down onto the lounger, he knew that this particular birthday present was one they were both going to enjoy.
C
HAPTER 30
Charley Miles walked the familiar route through the lobby of the hotel, smiling at people she knew, people who’d become her friends. People who knew about her past and who hadn’t judged her. They’d accepted her.
For a long time after Terry’s death she’d become almost a recluse, hiding away from a world she’d begun to hate because she’d blamed herself for everything. If she hadn’t got herself into the mess that she had, if she hadn’t become involved with Jimmy Cash, if she hadn’t tried to stupidly take Kenny Ross away from India would any of the horrific things that had followed have happened? If she hadn’t gone to India for help then Terry would never have become involved and maybe, just maybe he would still be alive today. But she’d had nobody else to turn to.
For months afterwards Charley’s life had been full of those ‘what if’s’ until she’d realised that living her life like that was never going to work. It had dragged her down, thrown her into a deep depression, and she’d needed to pull herself out of it before it overtook everything. Charley had wanted to start again, to try and put the past behind her as best she could. She owed it to Terry. She owed it to herself.
Casey, one of the girls she’d worked with before Jimmy had come on the scene, had given her a room in her apartment and that had been the lifeline she’d been looking for. If Casey hadn’t have taken her in then Charley knew she’d have disappeared into a downward spiral she’d have found it very hard to get back out of.
Casey had helped Charley come off the drugs. She’d been through it all herself so she’d been only too aware of the rough road Charley had had ahead of her, and she’d been there for her every step of the way with much needed friendship and support. She’d been there for her during the days when it had all been too much, and then finally for the days when the corner had eventually been turned. The nightmares had sometimes been harsh and draining, and Charley would never stop blaming herself for what had happened, especially when she’d heard that India had lost her baby on the night that Terry had died, but she’d learnt to live with everything that had gone on - and the subsequent consequences.
She’d watched - via TV, magazines and newspapers – as India got stronger, got her life back on track and Charley had hoped that, maybe, one day, she’d try and get back in touch, because she really wanted to talk to her, just to tell her she was sorry, but that day had never happened. Yet. Because Charley never lost faith that it might. One day.
It was sad, but Charley knew that the world she lived in was not the same world as India’s, not anymore. Their lives had taken completely different paths and she just had to deal with that. She knew she had to close the door on that part of her life and move on with the new one she was creating for herself.
Off the drugs, and with a bit of weight back on, her hair back to it’s natural dark colour and her skin looking healthier than it had done in years, she and Casey had left L.A. for Las Vegas, both of them having grown closer over the years, forming a bond that had made them more like sisters than best friends. They’d both wanted to move on and make a new start in a new city and Vegas had seemed as good a place as any.
They’d found work as waitresses in a diner when they first arrived, scraping money together for the rent on their small but clean apartment. They’d saved up to visit the hotels and see the shows they’d talked about seeing from the minute they’d set foot on the strip. They’d wanted to experience the city and everything it had to offer, and it was the spectacle of these shows that had caught the attention of Casey and Charley. The colours and the music and the showgirls. Especially the showgirls. And so their new dream had been born. They’d wanted to be showgirls too; they’d wanted to be out there, night after night, wearing those amazing costumes and being part of something so vibrant and exciting.
It was while they’d been in the bar of one of the hotels one evening that they’d got talking to someone who worked backstage on one of the shows. She’d told them they were auditioning for new showgirls that week and Charley and Casey hadn’t needed any more persuading. On the day of the auditions they’d been there bright and early with their best smiles, something a showgirl definitely had to have, and within a fortnight they were both embarking on their new adventure and loving every minute of it. It was hard work, with every girl having to do their own make-up and get themselves ready every night, and the costumes, although fantastic, could sometimes be quite uncomfortable, especially the head dresses which could be extremely heavy at times. But once out on that stage it was a blast, and it paid far more than their waitressing jobs ever had.
Charley was finally moving forward into a whole new world and she was the happiest she’d been in years. Almost ten years, if she was honest.
She and Casey had been working on the same show for almost two years now. They’d managed to find a bigger apartment, closer to the strip, and had slotted right into the Vegas lifestyle, and as far as Charley was concerned, she couldn’t think of anywhere else she’d rather be.
“Have you seen this?” Casey said, as she pulled herself up onto the stool next to Charley at the bar, ordering an orange juice.
“Seen what?” Charley asked, waving at someone at the other end of the bar.
Casey pushed the paper she was looking at in front of Charley.
“They’re looking for lead showgirls, over at The Maine Resort.”
Charley scanned the advert. They’d both been in the chorus for a couple of years now and both of them had always harboured that dream of being out there in front, of being one of the lead showgirls.
“We have to go for it, Charley.”
Charley knew that The Maine Resort was one of the largest and most exclusive hotels in Las Vegas, the one that most of the girls they knew wanted to work in. And she also knew that the guy who owned it, Vince Maine, was one of India’s closest friends. Charley had met him a couple of times, years ago when she’d first come over to L.A. When she’d been with Terry. When she’d still been close to India. He’d always seemed like a really nice guy, and she knew he was a very important and much respected man as far as Vegas was concerned.
“What’s the matter?” Casey asked, seeing Charley had gone a bit quiet.
Charley shook herself out of the memories, putting the paper down on the bar.
“Oh, nothing. It’s nothing.” She looked at her friend and smiled. “Of course we should go for it. We’d make fantastic lead showgirls.”
Casey smiled too, clinking glasses with Charley. “That’s decided then. Do you fancy grabbing some food before we hit the casino?”
Charley nodded. Her life really had moved on so much. She had a lot to be grateful for. Another challenge would be good for her and to be lead showgirl in a place like The Maine Resort would be a dream come true. A dream she was now determined was going to happen, because if there was one thing Charley never took for granted anymore it was the fact she was in control of her own destiny again. It had taken a lot of pain and a lot of heartache to get here but she wasn’t going to waste another minute of her life. Finally, Charley Miles was going to make something of herself. And who knew what else was around the corner?
***
Reece sat back in his chair, slipping his dark glasses down over his eyes as the bright sunshine continued to beat down. It was something he never got tired of feeling. He loved the heat and the warmth. It made him feel good, and today he felt very good. Yes, he was a very happy man today.
He smiled as he remembered his morning with India, his beautiful daughter. He’d got to spend a wonderful few hours with her on her birthday, just relaxing out in the garden, swimming in the pool and talking about anything and everything. He was so proud of her. They’d all come such a long way since that terrible night five years ago but she’d come out of it stronger and more determined not to waste a second of her life.
At first he’d been extremely worried about her. The news of Terry’s death, losing the baby, and then the revelation that he was her father all hitting the headlines at
the same time had caused her to almost go right back into herself, and when she and Michael had disappeared off to Vegas for those couple of months he’d felt like he’d almost lost her again, even though he knew they’d needed that time alone. Without it they wouldn’t be together now, he’d seen the strain it had put on them before they’d taken the decision to go.
Part of being there for her had been to let her get through it the only way she could but it hadn’t been easy. It had taken until her return to L.A. before he’d finally been able to talk to her, to find out how she was and really start being the father he’d wanted to be for so long. But now they had a relationship he could only have dreamed of before. They were extremely close, and he loved her with an intensity he couldn’t really explain. She was his life, and that’s the way he always hoped it would stay.
He was fiercely proud of her and the way she’d handled herself over the years, because she’d come such a long way. They both had. They’d made a movie together, the first real big project that any of them had undertaken since that night, and working with her again had been not just a dream, but a privilege. Since then she’d gone from strength to strength, and he couldn’t help but marvel at the amazing, talented young woman she’d become. He’d sat in award ceremony after award ceremony watching her up there, giving her acceptance speeches, thanking him - her father - and he could never quite explain how that felt. On those nights he often thought about the girl he’d seen that night in Newcastle because she was still in there, she was absolutely still there. And that was what made India special. She hadn’t lost her roots, hadn’t lost the girl she truly was, even though she’d lived in this town for ten years now. He may have given her this chance but she’d made something of it. She’d shown the world how talented she really was, and Reece knew she still had so much more to give.
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