No Matter What

by Michelle Betham

  “Kenny, stop it, come on!” She pulled his hands out and pushed him back away from her without turning to look at him, continuing to do what she’d been doing before. “That isn’t fair.”

  It didn’t deter him. He just moved up behind her again, putting one hand on her hip as he pushed her hair to one side, kissing her neck again.

  “Kenny ...”

  “What?”

  “Stop it, please! This isn’t going to happen.”

  “Are you sure about that?” He continued to kiss her neck until she turned around, pushing him away again.

  “This is why you shouldn’t be here. Michael’s in Vegas tomorrow and I’ve got to get everything ready …”

  “Oh, don’t talk crap, India, you don’t have to do anything. There are an army of people out there who’d do everything for you if you’d let them.”

  “And then what would I do?”

  He looked at her and she felt like running, running as fast as she could away from this whole messy situation.

  “You could play with me,” he said.

  She tried not to smile, tried not to show him that she wanted any part in this but she couldn’t hide it, and he smiled too, a smile she’d loved for so long.

  “Just go, Kenny. Before we do something stupid.”

  He sat down on the edge of the bed, leaning forward, his hands clasped between his open legs. “Would it be stupid?”

  “Very,” India replied, going back into the bathroom.

  He got up and followed her. “Jesus, Kenny, can you just go? Please, just do that for me will you? I want to take a shower.”

  “Take it with me.”

  She looked at him again. “Stop playing games, Kenny.”

  “Who’s playing?” He took off his t-shirt and threw it on the floor. “I’m deadly serious.”

  “Kenny ...”

  He moved closer, pulling her against him with one arm, his mouth lowering down onto hers in a kiss she couldn’t break away from, a kiss that was trapping her in a world she didn’t really want to be in but one she was fast falling into. How had this happened again? She’d thought they were over this, she’d thought this could never happen again, and didn’t that just show how naïve she really was?

  “No-one has to know, India,” he whispered, stroking her face, looking deep into her eyes. “Nobody but us.”

  She shook her head. “It’s not happening, Kenny.”

  She tried to think of Michael, tried to think of her wonderful husband, the man she was in love with, the man whose baby she so badly wanted, the man who was arriving here in Vegas tomorrow. She tried to think of him and to stop this from going any further; she tried so hard, she really did. But she’d let her guard down. She’d let Kenny Ross back in. It was too late.

  His mouth was on hers again, the kisses harder and more desperate, the familiar feel of him against her, the taste of him, it was all too much for her to ignore. She didn’t want him yet she wanted him so much, she hated herself for everything she was about to do but she loved the rush it was giving her, and she was about to pay the price for keeping Kenny Ross so close as every rational part of her brain shut down – almost.

  “No ... Jesus, this is crazy ... no! I’m not doing this, Kenny, I can’t.”

  She pulled away from him, pushing him away.

  “India ...”

  She almost ran out of the room, running downstairs and away from something she was finding so hard to control because she was scared. She had no idea what she was doing here; with Michael, with Kenny, it was all just one big mess coming back to start up all over again.

  “India, wait, come on!”

  She stopped and turned round to look at him, his t-shirt now back on, his hair all dishevelled and he looked incredible. This man would never leave her life because she could never let him go, but as she looked at him now, she felt her heart almost break.

  “Is Bobby coming back tonight?” he asked.

  She shook her head, folding her arms against herself, almost defensively, in the vain hope it would keep him away.

  “Do you want me to stay?”

  She didn’t know. So she couldn’t say anything.

  “We don’t have to do anything, you know that, don’t you? I’ll just stay and we can talk, play some music ...”

  “Can we though, Kenny? Can we really just do that? Because I’m not sure we can.”

  He walked back over to her, gently tilting her chin up so she looked at him. “We can do whatever you want to.” He kissed her forehead and she closed her eyes, breathing him in. “You go get that shower, go on. I’ll get us some drinks and sort out some CD’s.”

  What she should have done was gone upstairs and called Michael because she knew that just hearing his voice would finish whatever was going on here, it would end it, at least for now it would end it. It would kill any plans she and Kenny might have, it would make her realise this situation wasn’t right. So why didn’t she just do that? Why, instead, did she have her shower as quickly as she could and go back downstairs? Back to Kenny.

  He was in the room which housed the state-of-the-art sound system, games consoles and a wall mounted TV that was so big it could almost be a cinema screen. Huge French doors leading out to the terrace filled one entire wall, and around the other walls were shelves of DVD’s and CD’s – all India’s favourite movies and music which Vince had sorted out especially for her. The room was filled with large sofas and chairs and an array of big, squashy floor cushions, and it was one of India’s favourite places in the villa. She’d spent a lot of time in it since being in Vegas. She may be starring in movies now but she still loved watching them too, and music was such a big part of her life, especially since meeting Kenny. They both shared the same taste in rock and blues, both loved guitar based bands. It was one of the many things they had in common. One of the many, many things.

  Kenny looked up as she stood in the doorway, her long blonde hair damp and loose around her shoulders, her body covered by a white towelling robe. He wanted her so badly, so much it hurt and he knew, he could see it in her eyes, he knew she wanted him too. Deep down inside she did, he knew she did. But she was confused, and he wasn’t helping but he couldn’t walk away from her. He couldn’t do it.

  “You really should leave, Kenny.” Her voice was practically a whisper, her arms folded across her chest, that defensive stance still very much present.

  He walked over to her. “Is that what you want me to do?”

  She looked up into his dark eyes, searching his face for something, anything that might make her realise this was wrong, but she knew that, even if she found it, she’d ignore it. She’d had every chance and more to stop this, to make him go, and all that was happening now was delaying the inevitable.

  “I know it’s what you should do.”

  “That’s not what I asked, India. I asked if you wanted me to go. Tell me to leave and I will, I’ll go. Just say it.”

  “I can’t,” she said quietly. “Because I don’t want you to go, Kenny.”

  He pushed her robe down over one shoulder and leant forward to kiss it gently, moving up to her neck, his fingers in her hair, her body still warm and damp from the shower she’d just had and he was as turned on as hell. He needed her now, he needed her right now but this was on her terms, she called the shots, and he’d go with whatever she wanted. He just hoped she wanted him, because he didn’t know how much longer he could hold out.

  But India was sinking fast, deeper and deeper under his spell and everything she’d tried to avoid was happening all over again, despite the fact she was in love with Michael. And she kept telling herself that, she kept telling herself she was in love with Michael. But how could that be true when she was here?

  “I’m doing this for every wrong reason there could ever be,” she whispered, holding onto Kenny’s hand as he pulled her into the room. “And you should stop me, Kenny. You should stop me, as a friend, you shouldn’t be letting this happen.”

  “
I can’t do that, India.”

  “That’s a really selfish attitude,” she whispered, letting him unfasten her robe and pull her into his arms, every ounce of resistance now slipping away as she felt her naked body press against his clothed one, his fingers running up and down her back.

  “I’m in a selfish mood,” he said, kissing the base of her throat as she threw her head back, her eyes closing, giving in to his touch, giving in to everything she should be pushing away but once again she couldn’t find the strength to do it.

  He was kissing her slowly now, every move of his mouth on hers making her forget about Michael, forget about the man she was married to and she needed that, she needed to put him out of her mind if she was going to do this. She wanted to concentrate on Kenny. This felt so right but it was so, so wrong but she was too far down the road to turn back now. She was weak. As she always was where Kenny was concerned.

  Laying down on the floor she stared up at the ceiling as he ran his fingers up and down the length of her body, the guilt coming back and washing over her again and she bit down on her bottom lip, trying once more to find a reason why this was happening, a reason she was willing to accept anyway, but she couldn’t. Or she didn’t want to, she didn’t know which.

  Kenny pushed her legs apart, lying over her, his skin warm against hers, and any last lingering ideas she might have had about stopping this were over now. They were useless, pointless.

  “Forget about him,” Kenny whispered, sliding his fingers between hers. “Forget about him and be with me.”

  She looked up into his eyes. She’d loved him so much, once. Had she ever really stopped? “You’re not leaving me any choice, Kenny.”

  But she knew, as she closed her eyes and pulled her legs up around him, she knew as she felt him make love to her, she knew she could have stopped it if she’d really, really wanted to. This wasn’t Kenny’s fault, this wasn’t Kenny’s problem. It was hers. She’d wanted this, she’d wanted him. And she was going to have to deal with the consequences. Whatever they turned out to be.

  ***

  Vince was certain now. He was 100% positive. His security team were the best, he trusted them and he knew they’d gone about this in a way that had been nothing but discreet so he believed what they’d told him. And now it was time to end it.

  He stood outside the hotel, leaning back against the wall, his arms folded, watching everything going on around him as he waited for Michael to arrive, knowing that the first thing Michael would want to do when he got there was go and see India, but Vince had other ideas. There were things that needed sorting first, whether Michael liked it or not. So, when the car pulled up and he got out, Vince was there.

  “Hey, Vince, good to see you,” Michael smiled, looking around as he closed the car door. “Where’s India?”

  “She’s busy filming, out on The Strip. Can I have a word?”

  Michael looked at him. “What’s up?”

  “I want a word, that’s all.”

  “And I’d like to see my wife, what the hell is wrong with you?”

  “My office. Come on.”

  Michael followed him, irritated by Vince’s mood and angry that he was dictating to him when he could and couldn’t see India. What the fuck was up with him tonight?

  “Are you gonna tell me what’s going on here?” Michael asked, kicking the door of Vince’s office shut behind them, throwing his bag onto the floor.

  Vince sat on the edge of his desk and looked at Michael. “It stops right here, Mike. It stops, now.”

  Michael looked at him, narrowing his eyes and folding his arms. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. What stops?”

  “Call them off or I’ll do it myself. I know who it is, I know what they’re doing, and I know you’re behind it.”

  Michael continued to look at Vince. “I still don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Bullshit, Michael!” Vince stood up and walked over to his desk drawer, pulling out some photographs and throwing them onto the desk in front of Michael. “Private detectives, Michael. That’s fucking low.”

  Michael picked up the photographs, pictures of Kenny and India, doing nothing more than just walking through the hotel grounds but he knew he couldn’t deny it any longer. He threw them back down onto the desk and pushed a hand through his hair, turning away.

  “I had to do it, Vince.”

  “You had to do it?”

  “I had to know. I had to know if it was still going on and you wouldn’t keep an eye on her for me ...”

  “No, I wouldn’t. Jesus, Michael, you’re out of your mind! Hiring a private detective to follow your wife? Do you have any idea what would happen if India found out?”

  Michael turned round and looked at his friend. He was right, of course he was right, but where India and Kenny Ross were concerned he’d lost all power of rational thought.

  “She’d leave me,” Michael said quietly.

  “And she’d have every fucking right.” Vince came back round the front of the desk. “She’d have every right because what you’ve been doing, it’s crazy! You don’t do that to someone you love. You’re supposed to trust her.”

  Michael sat down and put his head in his hands. “I know, but in my misguided, stupid way I did it because I love her, Vince, I love her so much and I can’t settle knowing she’s here with him and I’m back in L.A. I needed to know what was going on. I needed to know if things were happening.”

  Vince sat back down on the edge of his desk, folding his arms. “And was it all worth it? Did you find out what you needed to know?”

  Michael looked up. “It’s because I love her, Vince. No matter how crazy that might sound to you. And I’m not going to lose her. Not to Kenny.”

  “All you’re going to do is push her away even further if you don’t get your fucking head sorted out soon and forget about this obsessive crusade you seem to have with her and Kenny. It’s almost as if you want to catch them together. Would that make you feel better? Would it make you feel like you’d got your money’s worth?”

  Michael stood up, pacing the floor. “It’s not that simple, Vince. I know it was wrong, I know I shouldn’t have done it but ... but something in my head told me it would happen again. I felt it, I knew from the second this movie was on the cards and they’d be spending all this time together … I knew it would happen again.” He stopped and looked at Vince, pulling a photograph from his wallet, the photograph of Kenny kissing India. He handed it to Vince. “And I was right. That’s not from the movie set, that’s real.”

  Vince took the photograph and looked at it before handing it back to Michael. “Then you need to fight for her, Michael, not have her followed, not have her spied on. You need to fight for her.”

  “And I have every intention of doing just that. He won’t win, I won’t let him.” He looked at Vince. “I’ll call them off. I promise.”

  Vince almost felt sorry for Michael. He knew this whole thing with India and Kenny had always been there, and it had almost prevented him from just enjoying being married to India, but he had to learn to deal with it, otherwise he really would lose her for good. But he wouldn’t want to be in his position. He couldn’t bear to think about how he’d feel if Charley had someone like Kenny so close to her. He didn’t think he’d be able to cope any better than Michael if he was honest, but what Michael had done wasn’t right. It wasn’t the way to deal with it.

  “Ok. Look, I care about you, Michael, and I care about India. Now, I don’t know exactly what is going on with her and Kenny but, whatever it is ... it might be nothing.”

  “It’s never nothing. Not where Kenny Ross is concerned.” Michael wanted to tell Vince what he’d seen that morning, what pictures had made their way to him that blew out of the water any chance that it might be nothing. But he just shoved the photograph back into his wallet. “I won’t let it take over again, Vince. Having them followed ...”

  “Was stupid. And dangerous. Did you honestly think it was
going to get you anywhere?”

  Michael sat down again. “I don’t know. I didn’t really know what I was doing I just knew that I needed to know ... I needed to know.”

  Vince got up and poured them both a drink, handing a glass to Michael. “Why don’t you just ask her?”

  Michael took a long drink and looked up at Vince. “Ask her?”

  “Confront her. Ask her about Kenny. Wouldn’t that be the sensible thing to do?”

  Michael shook his head. “No. I can’t do that.”

  “So what are you going to do?” Vince asked, resuming his position on the edge of his desk.

  Michael looked at Vince again. “I’m just going to love her. What else do I have left to do?”

  He finished his drink and stood up, picking up his overnight bag from the floor. “I’m going to the villa to wait for her. And, I’m sorry, Vince. I’m really sorry.”

  Vince watched him leave, wishing he could do more, wishing he understood his best friend more but these days he couldn’t get inside his head, he couldn’t work out what he was thinking. All he knew was that it worried him. Michael had a great life, he’d married the girl of his dreams, but all it seemed to be causing him was problems. And it was how he dealt with those problems that worried Vince more than anything.

  ***

  India was tired, and emotional. It had been a long day, with filming going on well into the night out on The Strip, and all she really wanted to do was go to sleep. She knew Michael would be waiting for her at the villa and that was probably the only thing that was keeping her going because she was having a real job just keeping her eyes open. Being with Kenny all day today hadn’t been the easiest thing in the world to cope with either. Not after what they’d done the night before. She knew she should never have let that happen, she should never have broken down so easily and let him get that close again but she had. But, if she was honest, she’d loved feeling him there again, it felt so comfortable when he made love to her. He felt right. But he wasn’t. He wasn’t right. Michael was.