No Matter What

by Michelle Betham

  “They’ve almost finished setting things up in the garden,” Michael smiled, putting the crate down on the kitchen counter and coming over to kiss first Ethan, then India. “Charley’s getting ready upstairs and Vince is en-route.”

  “Dad and Martha are on their way too,” India said. “And Kenny.”

  Michael took Ethan from India and held him up in the air, bringing him down for another kiss, smiling at him.

  “You’ll make him sick, Michael. He’s just had something to eat so don’t jig him about too much, will you. It would be good if he slept through the service so I’m trying not to over excite him.”

  Michael looked at his little boy. He was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to him, besides India. Sometimes he still couldn’t quite believe it was all real. He’d waited so long for this, he’d waited so long to become a family and there’d been days when he’d thought it would never come, so to have this perfect picture in front of him, his beautiful wife and his amazing baby boy, it was almost overwhelming at times. Even now.

  “Your mom’s nagging again, kiddo. If she only knew what we got up to when she’s out at work, huh?” He winked at India and she couldn’t help smiling at them.

  “Yeah, well, don’t forget I’ve got Emma keeping an eye on you both and female solidarity means she tells me everything.”

  Michael kissed Ethan again as he snuggled into his shoulder, his dummy firmly in his mouth as he started to slowly close his eyes.

  “Why’s he coming anyway?”

  India looked up from opening the crate of champagne. “Who?”

  “Kenny.”

  She turned her attention back to the bottles of champagne, lifting one out and looking at it. “Don’t start, Michael, please.” She was tiring of the rapidly deteriorating relationship between her husband and her best friend but she couldn’t really do anything about it, not anymore. It was a waste of time trying. She just didn’t realise the real reasons as to why it was getting worse as time went on. She thought it was complicated as it was, but she really had no idea of the half of it.

  “I’m not starting, India, I’m just asking.”

  “He’s my friend, Michael, and he’s Vince and Charley’s friend too. I think it’s only right he’s here. Just try and be civil to him, please. For everyone’s sake. This is Vince and Charley’s day.”

  He held a hand up in surrender. “Ok, ok. For you, alright? I’ll do it for you.”

  She walked over to him, half smiling. “That’ll do. I suppose.” She took Ethan from him and kissed her husband slowly. “I love you, you know that don’t you?”

  He nodded, reaching out to gently touch her cheek. “Yeah. I know that, and I love you too.”

  She smiled at him again. “I’m going to put this one down for a little nap before it all gets started.”

  Michael watched her leave, loving her more with every day that went by yet feeling as though he was losing his grip on her at the same time. He couldn’t tell her why he felt uncomfortable having Kenny around, he couldn’t tell her he knew about their night in Vegas and the fact he was terrified that one day Kenny may question Ethan’s paternity. He didn’t know if Kenny had even thought about it, he didn’t know what was going on in his head or even if Kenny had any idea about the fact there was a small chance he could be Ethan’s father. Things had been fine so far but Michael wasn’t sure how long he could live with the uncertainty. It was like a ticking time bomb and he had no idea when or if it would ever go off. So he’d had to take matters into his own hands.

  He’d had a DNA test done. It had been easy to sort out, with India out filming most days and him looking after Ethan, and in his office was the envelope that contained the result. It’d been couriered over to him not ten minutes ago but for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to open it just yet. He was nervous. Afraid even. Scared of what might be in there. Any time now he’d find out the truth, and what happened if the answer was the one he didn’t want to see? That was something Michael had had to think about. He’d had to have a plan; he’d had to know exactly what to do before this all blew up in their faces. Kenny Ross was not going to take his family away from him. Whatever the result of this DNA test, Michael was going to have to confront Kenny. He had to understand the situation here. He had to understand who was going to win this battle, once and for all. Because Michael Walsh had no intention of losing.

  ***

  “Jesus, Bobby, what do you look like?” India couldn’t help laughing as she bumped into Bobby on the landing. He’d obviously come straight from a night out, or at least she hoped that was his excuse because he was decked out in the most hideous brightly coloured shirt wearing a large sombrero and carrying a cocktail that looked like every colour of the rainbow in a glass with the obligatory parasol stuck in the top. All he needed was a piñata under his arm and he’d be screaming stereotypical tourist in Mexico.

  Bobby looked at her, pulling a face. “Miguel says I look great.”

  “Miguel?” India asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “The extremely cute cocktail waiter you’ve had setting things up downstairs for the past two days?” He looked at her with an expression that said she should know exactly who Miguel was.

  She thought about it for a second. They’d had heaven knows how many people running around the place setting things up and sorting things out. But not that many cute ones.

  “Oh ... that Miguel. Dark brown hair and a killer smile with the ability to mix a fantastic Long Island Iced Tea?”

  Bobby sighed. “Yes. That Miguel. Well, I was helping him slice his limes yesterday and we just hit it off. I think I may be in the throes of a little romance here, angel.”

  “Damn! Is he gay? Me and Charley thought we’d found some decent eye candy there. We spent a very pleasant hour last night getting him to talk dirty in Spanish then making him bend over frequently just so we could eye up his backside. I could have sworn he was flirting with us.”

  “Yes, well, you may be beautiful, princess, but some men just don’t get it. And despite what I’ve tried to teach you your gaydar is so weak it’s practically pointless.”

  “Bobby, take the sombrero off will you. I can’t take you seriously. And why the hell are you dressed like that anyway?”

  “Miguel had a paella party at his apartment last night ... I’m telling you, angel, the way he controls his castanets could bring tears to a man’s eyes.”

  “Ok, this is all getting a bit too surreal for me now. I’m taking this little guy for a lie down.”

  “Oh, give him to me for a cuddle first, will you? He is my Godson after all.”

  “Yeah, and I’ll be revoking that role if I ever see him in a shirt like that.” India handed him over to Bobby as Kenny walked up the stairs towards them. In a white t-shirt and jeans, his hair slightly longer again, his tanned face covered in stubble, he looked heart-stoppingly handsome. He was almost forty years old now and he still had it all. He still had the ability to make India feel breathless, not to mention Bobby, although he was more obvious.

  “Oh, would you look at that?” he sighed, a dreamy look taking over his face. “He’s like a vision of heaven, isn’t he?”

  India looked at Bobby, half smiling, trying not to laugh again at the sight of him in that shirt and sombrero with a cocktail in one hand and a baby in the other. “What happened to Miguel?”

  “Miguel is more than likely just a fantasy for a few days, angel. Kenny Ross is a permanent reality.”

  She couldn’t help laughing now, smiling at Kenny as he approached them.

  “Hey there. Everyone ok?” Kenny asked.

  “Oh, I’m fine thanks, Kenny.” She looked at Bobby again, still smiling. “You alright there, Bobby?”

  He threw her a look then smiled that smile he reserved especially for Kenny. “I’m just great, thank you.” He handed Ethan back to India. “Right, I’d better get this cocktail to Charley. She said she wanted something to settle her nerves and this is one of Miguel�
�s specialities.”

  “That thing’s almost fluorescent,” India laughed. “What the hell’s in it?”

  “You don’t want to know, princess, but Miguel says it works wonders.”

  “At what? Paint stripping?” Kenny said, as they watched Bobby flounce along the landing to the room Charley was using to get ready in. “And who’s Miguel?”

  “Don’t ask,” India smiled, as they walked along the hallway.

  “I’m gutted. I always thought I was the one.”

  “Oh, you are, Kenny. You absolutely still are,” India laughed, walking into Ethan’s large and airy nursery. It was decorated in neutral yellow and it was a bright and beautiful room with cartoon characters on the walls, clouds and blue sky painted on the ceiling and cushions and soft toys scattered all over the place.

  There was an adjoining door that led to another small suite of rooms that Emma used on the days when she stayed over, because she didn’t live-in permanently, but she was there whenever they needed her and they wanted her to have somewhere to call her own when she did stay over.

  India gently lay Ethan down in his cot, placing Thumper, his favourite cuddly rabbit, beside him, leaning over to kiss his tiny cheek. Kenny looked at the undeniably gorgeous baby boy that lay there asleep, oblivious to the complicated world around him.

  “He gets more beautiful every day.”

  India said nothing. A sudden wave of nervousness had hit her and she walked away from the cot and over to the window, looking out at the spectacular view that stretched out ahead.

  “Is he mine, India?”

  And there it was. The question she’d been dreading. But it was a question she knew had been coming, she’d have been stupid to think it was never going to appear. She’d just been surprised he hadn’t asked it sooner, especially as they’d had so much time together promoting ‘The Wedding Convention’. There’d been so many opportunities for him to say something then, so why hadn’t he?

  But now it was out in the open she didn’t know what to do. She should have been prepared for it, she should have worked out something to say but what could she say? So, instead, she focused on the finishing touches being put to the wedding arch down below, the remaining chairs being put in their places and a marquee further up the garden being erected for the party afterwards. She focused on anything other than what was happening in that room.

  She could feel Kenny looking at her but she tried not to meet his eyes. If she did that then they’d have to talk about this, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to do that.

  “India? Is he mine?”

  “He looks like Michael. Can’t you see that, Kenny?”

  “To be fair, he doesn’t really look like anyone just yet, does he?”

  India turned round and faced him. She couldn’t avoid this any longer. It was childish to think she could just bury her head in the sand when this wasn’t going to go away.

  “We slept together once during that time, Kenny. Once.”

  “And we didn’t use any protection.”

  “We should have done.”

  “What’s the point in going over that now? We didn’t, the dates add up and he could be mine.”

  “He has a name, Kenny. Look, I was sleeping with Michael so much back then, any chance we got ... twice, three times a day when we were in the same city ...”

  “I don’t want to know that, India.”

  “Well you need to hear it because you need to know that the chance of Ethan being yours is so small it’s not even worth talking about.”

  “But it’s a chance. Isn’t it?”

  She turned away again, folding her arms against herself and staring out at the garden again, wishing this wasn’t happening. All she wanted was to be with her baby and her husband and know that this wasn’t a situation she had to deal with.

  “You can’t run away from this, India.”

  He touched her arm gently but she shook him off.

  “Why now, Kenny? Why choose to do this now? Why not earlier? Why not bring it up when we had all that time together doing publicity for the movie? Why wait until now?”

  “Because I wanted you to have some time with him. I’m not that much of a bastard that I wanted to ruin those first few months with your baby.”

  “So, you just thought you’d ruin the ones that follow?”

  “No ... Jesus, do you think this is easy?”

  She swung round and stared at him. “No, I don’t think it’s easy, Kenny, but I have so much to lose here. Can you understand that? Ethan is Michael’s child. I’m almost 100% certain of that.”

  “Almost?”

  She looked into his eyes, right into them. “Absolutely certain.”

  Kenny shook his head. “I don’t believe you.”

  She looked away, walking back over to her sleeping son’s cot, looking in and reaching out to gently stroke his arm that was thrown up beside his head.

  “Look at him, Kenny.”

  Kenny looked into the cot and he couldn’t help smiling at Ethan. He was the most beautiful baby, but if he could see anyone in him at all it was India. He had traces of his movie-star mom in him for sure.

  “He’s the innocent one in all of this,” India said quietly, stroking his dark hair as he slept peacefully, his tiny chest rising and falling. “He doesn’t deserve any of this.”

  “Doesn’t he deserve to know who his real father is?”

  She looked at him again. With every second of this conversation she was starting to feel more and more defeated.

  “He’s seven months old, Kenny. He’s just seven months old.”

  “And one day he’ll be twenty and you’ll have lived with this hanging over you for all those years. Don’t you want to know yourself, India? Isn’t there a part of you that wants to know who his father really is?”

  She couldn’t answer that. Because she did want to know, of course she did. She knew herself that she couldn’t live with this for the rest of her life. She just hadn’t wanted to face up to it until she’d had to.

  “This hurts so much, Kenny. Do you understand how this could hurt others too? Michael loves Ethan. He was there when he was born, he’s been there for the nappy changes and the night feeds and the times when it’s all been too much for me ... he’s his father in every sense of the word and I don’t want that to change.”

  Kenny just looked at her. “You have to understand how I feel too, India.”

  “Kenny ...”

  But he just turned and left the room, leaving India with a bad feeling and the fear that reality was going to hit home big time, sooner than she’d wanted it to.

  And how she dealt with that was going to be entirely up to her.

  ***

  Layla wondered if she’d let enough time pass. If she came out with it now would she look like a complete bitch? Maybe there were people who’d still think that but she was beginning not to care anymore.

  She was sick of looking at pictures of India and Michael; the perfect Hollywood couple with their perfect Hollywood baby on their perfect days out in Los Angeles. It was all starting to make Layla feel more than a little nauseous. Ever since news of Ethan Walsh’s arrival had been made public she felt as if she’d had it shoved in her face almost every day afterwards. She’d hated every second of having to hear about his perfect birth, of hearing Michael say it was the most incredible thing he’d ever experienced, holding his beautiful wife as she’d pushed their son into the world. She was tired of it.

  She’d hated seeing the first pictures of him in magazines with his gorgeous mom and his handsome dad. She’d hated reading about how his arrival had changed them all so much and how he’d helped to take away the pain of losing their first child. She was sick of looking at pictures of him as India took him with her to work, or of her and Michael playing regular mommy and daddy down at the supermarket.

  She couldn’t even remember when these feelings had really hit home, but she figured she’d given them enough time to get used to playing happy f
amilies. India Walsh needed to get back to reality.

  She pulled her sunglasses back down over her eyes and accepted a drink from a passing waiter. It was a beautiful, warm Los Angeles day and Layla had been looking forward to this for a long time. People would be surprised today. Others would be slightly shocked. One or two might even be more than a little bit nervous. But she was going to have fun. She was going to make sure of that. She was going to have a hell of a lot of fun.

  ***

  India walked into their bedroom, walked right up to her unsuspecting husband and kissed him hard, pushing herself up against him. Michael just looked at her. He wasn’t going to start complaining, but he was a little surprised.

  “You haven’t left Ethan on his own, have you?”

  “Yeah, he’s playing Grand Theft Auto in the nursery and I’ve put ‘Reservoir Dogs’ on the DVD player just incase he gets bored. You really know how to kill a mood you do. Emma’s here so she’s looking after him.”

  Michael slid his arm around her waist and pulled her closer again, smiling. “So, what’s brought this on then?”