No Matter What

by Michelle Betham

  He tilted her chin up and kissed her again. “Take a rain check, gorgeous, because I’m going there later.”

  “And you’ll be very, very welcome,” she smiled, her mouth almost touching his as she spoke. She could feel the now all-too-familiar weakness in her knees as he kissed her neck just below her ear. “Joe ... are we ready for this?”

  He looked at her. “Are you having second thoughts?”

  “I’m thirty-nine years old in a couple of weeks, I’ve got a four year old son, two failed marriages and more baggage than LAX sees in a week. You should be the one having second thoughts.”

  “Well, I’m not.”

  She looked into his eyes. “Once we go public they’re probably going to dig everything up, you know that don’t you?”

  He smiled, stroking her cheek. “Yeah. I know.”

  “These past few weeks have been incredible, Joe. Having you all to myself ... and now I’m going to have to share you.”

  He took her hand, turning it over and running his thumb over her tattoo. “None of this is gonna change the way we feel about each other. Is it?”

  She slid her fingers between his, kissing him gently. “No. It isn’t.”

  “So ... you’re sure about this then? About us? Because I sure as hell am India.”

  She nodded. “Yeah. I’m sure.”

  He smiled again and she felt her heart skip that proverbial beat. “Then let’s get out there and let everyone know.”

  ***

  She sat in the back of the car holding tightly onto JJ’s hand, her stomach turning a million somersaults that she knew were all to do with nerves. Was she really ready to go public with this? Was she really ready for another relationship? A relationship that everyone would now be watching?

  JJ squeezed her hand, sensing her nerves. “It’s gonna be ok, baby. It’s gonna be fine.”

  She looked at him, smiling, leaning over to kiss him quickly. “I know. I guess I’m just a bit wary of what people are going to say.”

  “Does that matter?”

  She looked at his handsome face, stroking his cheek lightly with her fingers, shaking her head. “No. Not really. Not anymore.”

  But maybe she cared more than she should have done about one person’s reaction in particular. She cared about Michael.

  The car pulled up outside the venue and India took a deep breath, smiling at the man she was about to launch into her crazy, unpredictable world.

  “Hold on tight, Joseph Foster. This could be a bumpy ride.”

  He laughed, kissing her once more before the door of the car was opened, the noise of the crowd almost deafening, along with the sound of what seemed like a thousand cameras all going off at once. Both she and JJ were on the guest list for this premiere. It was just that no-one was expecting them to turn up together.

  He got out of the car first and India could hear the screams getting louder. He was a bit of a heart throb was JJ Foster. ‘Covert One’ had turned him into a pin-up, no doubt about that, and his fans had certainly turned out in force tonight, making India even more nervous than she had been before.

  He held out his hand and she took it, taking another deep breath as she stepped out of the car, clinging onto his hand like there was no tomorrow and he looked at her, smiling. This was it. It was time.

  As they walked along the red carpet, hand in hand, people slowly started to realise what was going on and within seconds reporters had started shouting questions at them as the paparazzi snapped away furiously. JJ slipped his arm around her waist and looked at her again. India nodded, and he slowly lowered his mouth down onto hers in a kiss that had the cameras - and the crowd - going wild. It was a kiss that India felt with every inch of her being, a kiss that meant they’d done it now, they’d gone public, just like they’d planned, and India felt like she was floating on air as she pulled away from him slightly, resting her forehead against his, smiling at him.

  “No regrets?” he whispered, stroking the small of her back.

  She shook her head. “Absolutely no regrets.”

  “India! India, are you and JJ a couple?”

  “How long has it been going on, India?”

  “Were you together before ‘Covert One’?”

  The questions were coming thick and fast, being thrown at them from all directions as they were guided this way and that to talk to the press or have their photograph taken and it was crazy, but nothing that neither of them hadn’t been expecting. It had been a long time since India had embarked on a relationship after her divorce from Michael and this was big news in the circles she moved in. She only wondered what those close to her were going to say when they found out she’d been keeping this from them. And, more than anything - even though she knew she shouldn’t really care – more than anything she wondered what Michael would think.

  ***

  Kenny sat forward as he watched the TV, watched as India kissed JJ Foster in full view of the world and announced that they were very much a couple. And had been for a few weeks now. He was right; he knew he’d been right. But that didn’t make it any easier to stomach.

  “Reece! Reece, get over here! Have you seen this?” Kenny shouted, causing Ethan to look up from his book to see what was going on, jumping off the sofa and running over to the TV.

  “It’s mommy!” he shouted, sitting down on the floor and looking up at the screen, pointing to it. “Mommy’s on TV with JJ, Uncle Kenny! Granddad! Mommy’s on TV!”

  Reece came over to see what all the commotion was about, his eyes going straight to the TV screen and the sight of his daughter as she held tightly onto the hand of JJ Foster, telling everyone they were together. He watched as the handsome young actor looked at India as though she was the most beautiful thing in the world, he watched as he kissed her gently and it was obvious to Reece that his little girl had fallen hard for this new man, and while part of him was happy that she appeared to have moved on from Michael, there was still a part of him that wondered if she really had. Without knowing what had actually gone on between her and her ex-husband he had no idea what to think.

  “So. Looks like you were right then, Kenny.”

  Kenny got up, unable to look at the TV anymore. It was making him feel sick. He’d known it all along, well before Ethan had let it slip earlier, but it didn’t make it any easier to swallow.

  “Yeah,” he sighed. “I was right.”

  Ethan was still sitting cross-legged in front of the TV, excitedly watching his famous mum on the screen. “Mommy looks beautiful, doesn’t she, Uncle Kenny?”

  He turned round to look at Kenny and Kenny forced a smile. “She sure does, kiddo.”

  Ethan turned his attention back to the TV.

  “Are you ok?” Reece asked, only too aware of how hard this was for his daughter’s best friend. Her very best friend.

  Kenny shrugged. “There’s not much I can do now, is there? You saw the way she was looking at him.”

  What could Reece say? That it was early days and who knew whether this relationship would last or not? That if Kenny held on maybe one day she’d finally love him like he wanted her too? He couldn’t say any of that because he wanted India to be happy and if she was happy with JJ then that was fine by Reece. He didn’t want to give Kenny any false hope. Maybe it was time for him to move on now, too.

  “I’m going home,” Kenny said, grabbing his jacket and going over to say goodbye to Ethan, who’d moved away from the TV now his mum wasn’t on it anymore, ruffling his hair. “See you tomorrow, kiddo. You be good for grandma and granddad.”

  “Are you sure you’re ok?” Reece asked again. “You don’t have to go you know. Martha and I would love you to stay for dinner.”

  Kenny shook his head. “Thanks, Reece, but I just want to be on my own right now.”

  Reece nodded, understanding exactly what he was going through. “I wish I could make things right for you, Kenny. I really do.”

  Kenny smiled. India really was lucky to have Reece as a father. He
was one of life’s genuine nice guys. “I know, but I’ll be fine. Really, I’ll be fine.” He just hoped he’d one day feel as confident about that as he sounded. Because, without India in his life, he was nothing. Kenny needed her. He just wished he’d realised how much a damn sight earlier than now.

  ***

  Layla couldn’t believe her eyes. JJ and India Walsh? But she was, like, forty or something now, wasn’t she?

  She sat down on the edge of her bed and towel dried her blonde hair as she watched the two of them on TV, looking like a couple of lovesick teenagers, all big Hollywood smiles, him clinging onto her like she’d disappear if he let her go. If only she would, thought Layla.

  So, JJ had dumped her for India. She’d been replaced by someone almost ten years older than her. What was wrong with him? Layla was younger than India and, in Layla’s eyes, she was far prettier. She had no kids, no ex-husband’s, none of that baggage and yet JJ still wanted to be with this older woman. She couldn’t believe it. She thought they’d had something. They’d had fun together, hadn’t they? And if the wonderful Ms Walsh hadn’t turned up they’d still be having fun now, she was sure of that. What was it they all saw in her? Kenny Ross, Michael Walsh, and now JJ Foster. Layla couldn’t see it herself. She couldn’t see what they all saw that made them worship the ground she walked on.

  Well, India may have managed to snare herself a nice little toy boy but Layla had plans for someone from her past, because once Michael Walsh got wind of his ex-wife and her new boyfriend, he was surely going to realise she wasn’t ever coming back to him. And Layla was going to make sure that she was there to make him feel a whole lot better about that.

  ***

  “You sure you’ve got no regrets?” JJ asked, lying on his side, resting up on one elbow as he lay beside India.

  It had been a long night, but not long enough to stop either of them from wanting sex as soon as they’d got back to the hotel.

  She lay facing him, smiling. “No regrets whatsoever.”

  “What do you think your ex-husband’s gonna say? I mean, he’s gonna find out now, isn’t he?”

  She looked away for a second. Why had he mentioned Michael? He’d been on her mind, for sure, but why should it bother JJ?

  “It’s been three and a half years, Joe. It’s got nothing to do with him. Nothing I do, unless it concerns Ethan, has got anything to do with him.”

  “Hey, come on. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry.”

  She looked at him. “I just don’t want to talk about him, Joe, ok? I don’t want to think about him and I don’t want to talk about him. Me and Michael, we were over a long time ago.” But were they? Were they really?

  JJ stroked her cheek, kissing her gently. “What did he do to you, India? What made you hate him so much?”

  “I want to look forward, Joe, not back. Please.”

  “Ok.” He smiled and she couldn’t help but smile back. “I’ll quit with the questions. No more questions.”

  She stroked his arm, running her fingers lightly up and down his smooth, tanned skin. “I just don’t want to damage the future by talking about the past,” she said, following the trail of her fingers with her eyes. “What he did ... it’s taken me a long time to get over him, that’s all I’m going to tell you, but ... just know that it was you who helped me do that. You showed me the way and you made me forget.”

  He reached out and touched her cheek. “Forget what, baby? What did I make you forget?”

  “You said no more questions, Joe.”

  “I know … I know but, I care about you, India. I don’t want there to be any secrets.” Secrets. She knew plenty about those.

  She looked into his dark eyes, eyes that were so different to Michael’s, so much more trusting. She hadn’t realised that none of that had been there with Michael, not until it was too late. And that still hurt like hell.

  She felt tears prick at the back of her eyes and he could see this was upsetting her so he pulled her close, kissing her gently and slowly, just wanting to make it better.

  “Ok, baby. That’s it, I promise, no more questions now. I promise.”

  She pulled away slightly, running her fingers slowly over his jaw line, touching his mouth. “Make love to me again, Joe. Please.”

  He smiled that smile, a smile that made her stomach flip over and her heart dance. A smile that made her forget about the questions and the secrets and the things she was keeping from him. Things she still had to keep from him.

  “If that’s what my princess wants, then that’s what my princess gets.”

  She smiled too, the whole night finally catching up with her and all she wanted was to feel him make love to her again and then fall asleep in his arms. Because, once they arrived back in L.A. tomorrow, the questions would start and reality would hit them, and she just hoped that reality was kind enough to give this relationship some kind of a chance. Because she could easily fall in love with JJ Foster, and that thought scared her to death.

  ***

  Michael Walsh was tired and fed up but glad to be back in L.A. after what had to have felt like the longest time away filming, or maybe it just felt like that because he’d missed his little boy.

  Ethan was his world, his only reason for staying in a town that he’d quite happily move far away from if he could. Being close to someone who didn’t want to be near him, someone who wouldn’t even talk to him on the ‘phone or speak his name without it killing her was killing him. He could have done with distance between them, something to try and help him forget her because to say that he still loved his ex-wife was an understatement, and the memory of what he’d done to her still haunted him every day. He’d done so much wrong, so much to make her hate him and he couldn’t blame her for shutting him out. But at least their son, their amazing little boy, meant that there was always going to be that bond, that link, that hope that one day things would get better. Michael wasn’t letting go of that.

  He threw his jacket over the back of a chair, put the mail down on the table and switched the TV onto a news channel for some background noise as he sat down, reaching out for the bottle of bourbon in front of him and pouring himself a large glass as he began opening envelope after envelope, not really taking any notice of what was inside any of them he was so tired. Another half an hour and he’d think about bed. He was having Ethan at the weekend and now he’d finished filming and had a few months off he’d be able to spend a lot more time with him, something he’d been looking forward to for months. He’d grown into such a fantastic kid, a beautiful little boy, and Michael was so proud of him.

  He sat back in his chair and turned up the volume on the TV as the showbiz news came on. He never usually paid much attention to this section of the news but something had caught his eye that made him suddenly sit up straight and listen intently because, behind the news anchor was a picture of India, but she wasn’t alone. She was with her current co-star, JJ Foster. Was this something to do with her work on ‘Covert One’? He’d never understood why she’d wanted to do that show, although he was well aware that her appearances - which had started airing a couple of weeks ago - were gaining the programme more fans by the week. He’d watched her first couple of episodes and he could fully understand why.

  He turned the volume up even more, getting up and walking over to the TV, standing in front of it as the reporter uttered words Michael had dreaded hearing for almost three and a half years...

  ”India Walsh and her ‘Covert One’ co-star JJ Foster have finally admitted that the on-screen chemistry seen on the hit show has spilled out into real life when they attended a movie premiere in Times Square together last night. Turning up holding hands and sharing a kiss on the red carpet left the world in no doubt that the thirty-eight year old Hollywood star and the thirty-three year old actor were an item, which was later confirmed by the couple themselves when they told reporters that they’d been together for just over a month after meeting on the set of ‘Covert One’ when Ind
ia joined the cast for a number of guest appearances...”

  Michael stood rooted to the spot, listening to the rest of the report, watching as they showed footage of his beautiful ex-wife and JJ Foster at last nights premiere. He watched as they showed her holding onto the hand of another man, a man who was over twenty years younger than he was and it hit him hard, right where it hurt most, like a punch in the solar plexus and he eventually had to sit down on the arm of the sofa to steady himself. Sure, he’d seen her holding hands with Kenny countless times at events such as these since they’d split up but that was nothing new. She’d always done that with Kenny, that wasn’t news. Kenny was no threat now. It was quite evident that he never had been. Michael knew that if anything had been going to happen between India and Kenny it would have happened by now. If she hadn’t run to him in three and a half years when the door was wide open and nothing was standing in their way then she was never going to. But the fact she’d found another altogether new man was something Michael had never – naively - even thought about. He’d always assumed it was a two-horse race between him and Kenny and if she hadn’t gone to Kenny then that had given Michael some kind of hope that she’d one day forgive him and come back home. But it looked like he’d been harbouring nothing but false hope. The way she’d looked at JJ Foster; the way he’d looked at her - Michael couldn’t bear it, and closing his eyes didn’t get rid of the image, it only made it worse.

  He got up, downing his glass of bourbon in one, the burning sensation at the back of his throat giving him an instant hit and he immediately poured himself another one, walking over to the window and looking outside.

  He’d been stupid and he’d hurt her in the worst possible way. He’d hurt her more than anyone could ever imagine, and the fact she’d told nobody what had really happened was more than he deserved. But Michael Walsh was no quitter. He didn’t give up without a fight. In his fight to win India first time around he’d said there was no obstacle he couldn’t overcome to get what he wanted, and this situation was no different. No, this situation was no different at all.