No Matter What

by Michelle Betham

He grabbed himself another beer from a passing waiter, wondering whether one of Miguel’s cocktails would do the trick faster, when he saw her walk into the marquee, alone, without her new husband hanging onto her. She looked incredible, even out of the wedding dress and in her usual jeans and boots. She just looked incredible.

  He ran over to her before she got distracted by someone else and she looked up as he came to a halt beside her.

  “Hey, Kenny. You alright?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Are you ok? You look a bit pre-occupied.”

  “No, no, I’m fine. Sorry. I guess the day just catches up with you eventually.” She smiled and he smiled back, slipping his hand into hers as she grabbed the bottle he was holding and took it from him, knocking back a huge mouthful in one go.

  “You sure you’re alright?” Kenny asked, as they walked over towards a quiet table in the corner.

  “I’m fine. Really.”

  “Where’s JJ?” Kenny sat down and took the beer from her, knocking back a good mouthful himself.

  “Upstairs. He’ll be down in a minute.” India sat back and swung her legs up onto the table, looking around her. She should really go and say goodnight to the kids. They should be in bed by now, it was getting late for them.

  “Have you seen Ethan and Ellie?” she asked, looking around for Reece, who’d surely have them close to him.

  “They were in the other marquee with Charley and Vince last time I saw them. India, hang on a second before you go running off will you?”

  She sat back down and looked at him. “Yeah? What’s up?”

  He leaned forward and pushed a hand through his dark hair, looking at her. She stared back at him. “Where’ve you been, Kenny? These past couple of years ... where’ve you been?”

  “I was there, India, I was always there I ... I just couldn’t cope at first. I couldn’t cope with you being with him, with you ... I couldn’t cope with you falling in love again. When the person you loved wasn’t me. I couldn’t cope and I stepped away and that was selfish and childish and I’m sorry. Believe me, I’m sorry.”

  She continued to look at him, her eyes never moving away from him.

  “Do you know how much I missed you? Do you know how much you not being there when I picked up the ‘phone and needed to talk to you … do you know how much that hurt me? All those years you were always there and then suddenly you weren’t and you don’t get to spend that long in my life and just do that, Kenny. You don’t get to do that.”

  His eyes searched her beautiful face and he suddenly realised how stupid he’d been. How selfish and stupid and pathetic. “I’m sorry.”

  “I need you, do you know that? I need you and you have to be there, Kenny. You have to be there and maybe I’m being selfish now because I have no right to ask you to stick around when I can’t give you what you want from me but ...”

  He shut her up by grabbing her hand and squeezing it, smiling at her.

  “I’m back, ok? I’m back and I will be there, I promise. I’ll never walk away from you again, I’ll be there, I’ll always be there. No matter what. I’ll always be there.”

  She smiled back, leaning over to hug him, holding onto him so tight. Her best friend was back and she needed him so much. She always would, she’d always need him. Her life was so ridiculously complicated because she’d made it that way but talking to Kenny could always make everything seem better. Even those times when it never really could be.

  She pulled away slightly and smacked his arm.

  “Ow! What the hell was that for?”

  “Don’t ever bugger off like that again, do you hear me?”

  “Jesus!” Kenny laughed, rubbing his arm. “I don’t think I dare.”

  “Yeah, well, you’d be wise not to.” She leaned over and kissed him quickly. “Now go get me a drink will you?”

  He stood up, ruffling her hair because that had always annoyed her. “Whatever you say, Mrs Foster.” He winked and started to walk away, backwards for the first few steps, as she stuck her tongue out at him.

  “And it’s still Walsh, thank you. No more name changes.”

  “Mommy! Mommy!” Ethan yelled, running up to her and clambering onto her knee, closely followed by Reece carrying a sound asleep Ellie.

  India hugged Ethan, giving him a big kiss. “Hey, baby. Are you going to go back into the house now and go see Emma? She’ll read you a bedtime story and tuck you in tonight because mummy’s going to be busy down here for a while.”

  He looked at her and her heart still broke when she thought of him being denied the life he should have had with his mum and dad. But that hadn’t been her fault, and he didn’t ever need to know whose fault it really had been. Both her and Michael loved him so much and that was all that mattered. Michael Walsh, a man who still refused to leave her head, although she was dealing with it better as time went on.

  “Mommy? Is JJ my new daddy?”

  That question that took the wind right out of India’s sails and she hugged him again, looking up at Reece as he sat down next to her.

  “Oh, baby, no. No, he’s not your new daddy. You’ve already got a daddy, haven’t you?”

  He nodded, pulling at the laces on his baseball boots. “But JJ loves me like he loves Ellie, doesn’t he?”

  She looked at Reece again before giving her six year old son another hug. “JJ loves you so much, honey. Just as much as he loves Ellie. He loves you both. I love you both.” She kissed the top of his head, ruffling his dark hair, wanting to see a smile out of him before she let him go. “Ok?”

  He nodded, putting his arms around her neck, giving her one last hug.

  “Can I tell daddy now, mommy? Can I tell him you married JJ?”

  She’d known that was coming too. It was inevitable.

  “We’ll talk about that tomorrow, sweetheart. You go with granddad now and see Emma.”

  He smiled that beautiful smile of his as he climbed down off her knee, running over to Kenny. India took Ellie for a cuddle.

  “Everything ok?” Reece asked. “With you and Kenny, I mean.”

  “Just getting my best friend back, dad, that’s all.”

  She kissed Ellie’s tiny cheek, gently rubbing her back. She was the image of her father and India loved that she was so much like JJ. A beautiful version of her insanely handsome father. She was going to break hearts when she grew up, India had no doubt about that.

  Reece looked over at Kenny, who was crouching down in front of Ethan, talking to him. “And you and Joseph?”

  She looked at him. “What about me and Joseph?”

  “Are you happy?”

  “Jesus, what kind of question is that to ask on the day I married him? Yes, I’m happy. I’m very happy. He’s amazing, he’s my world and if people would just let us get on with things I’m sure we’d be fine.”

  “I just want to be sure, India. It’s only because I love you.”

  She sat back and sighed, still slightly rattled by her conversation with Ray but she had to forget that. Everything concerned with that had to stay in the past.

  “I’m sorry, dad. I haven’t had half as much to drink as I want to and I think the whole stress of the day, all this keeping it secret, everything, it’s just got to me. But marrying Joe, that was the best thing I ever did.” She smiled, handing Ellie back to him. “That has made me incredibly happy.”

  Reece leaned over to kiss her gently. “Good. That’s all I need to know. Right, let’s get these little ones back into the house and upstairs to bed, then you can concentrate on enjoying yourself.”

  “Thanks, dad.” She sat back in her chair, watching Kenny as he talked to Vince, the smile back on his face that she hadn’t seen there in such a long time and that made her feel good. She wanted Kenny back in her life just like he always had been. Not as some part-time friend, but as the closest friend she’d ever had. She needed that security from him because without him she felt kind of empty.

  She looked down at her left hand, smiling as she pla
yed with the new platinum wedding band that now sat underneath her engagement ring, rings so different to the ones Michael had given her. Because JJ was so different to Michael, and that’s exactly what she needed. Someone very different to Michael. She needed that more than she cared to admit.

  “Come on, beautiful. I want a dance with my new wife.”

  She looked up and smiled as he stood there in front of her. Her handsome new husband. Her new start. She took his hand and he led her out onto the dance floor, pulling her close and she laid her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes for a few seconds, feeling his arms around her, holding her tight. He still felt so new to her, even after more than two years together all she wanted to do was look at him, those tiny tingles of excitement still there every time he kissed her and she never wanted it to feel any other way, not yet, not just yet. It was way too soon and she wanted to hang onto this for as long as she could.

  JJ tilted her chin up to look at him. “You ok?”

  She nodded, looking into his beautiful dark eyes.

  He smiled, leaning forward to kiss her gently. “I love you so much.”

  She smiled too, stroking his jaw line with her fingertips. “Yeah. I know you do. And I kind of feel the same way, handsome.”

  “Do you love me enough to get the pole fitted?”

  She laughed quietly, resting her forehead against his, holding onto him like her world would end if she let him go.

  “I love you enough to give you private dances for the rest of your days, Joseph Foster.”

  “I love my life!” he almost shouted, and she laughed again as he swung her round, singing out loud to her and it all felt like some wonderful, amazing dream. Her handsome prince had come and saved her and she felt like her life was beginning all over again. This crazy, young and incredible man had walked into her world and turned it on it’s axis but it was the best feeling - a mixture of uncontrollable love and head spinning confusion, but he’d found her and she’d finally let him in and everything that had gone before, all the hurt and the pain and the thinking she’d never get over Michael, all of that had been wiped away by a man called Joseph. And it felt good.

  “We need champagne,” JJ smiled, kissing her quickly. “Lots of champagne, because we need to celebrate.”

  “Getting a pole fitted?” India smiled, running her fingertips over his mouth.

  He grinned, letting his hand slip farther down from the small of her back. “That’s just one thing, baby. But, one very big thing, let’s not forget that.”

  “And talking of very big things ...” she whispered, pushing herself against him. “... is there something you might want to give me later?”

  “Might?” he grinned, doing that thing with his eyebrow, and she giggled like a teenager.

  “Go on, get outta here and get that champagne before I have to have you, right here, right now.”

  “Hmm, now that would be interesting,” he said, lowering his mouth onto hers in a deep, slow kiss and she was reluctant to let him go, even if it was only to get some drinks.

  “Go, go on,” she laughed, pushing him gently away from her and he kept on smiling, mouthing “five minutes” as he ran off in the direction of the bar.

  She bit down on her bottom lip as she watched him, loving every inch of her perfect new husband. Every sexy, incredible, perfect inch.

  “He’s got one hell of an ass on him, hasn’t he?” Bobby said, walking over to India and she looked at him, laughing again.

  “Yeah, he has, and it’s mine, so hands off.”

  “You look sickeningly happy, angel,” he sighed, taking a sip of a very colourful and doubtless extremely alcoholic cocktail, more than likely concocted by Miguel.

  “I am, Bobby.” She looked at him again. “We’re getting a pole fitted.”

  He took another sip of his cocktail. “Is this so you don’t have to go sneaking into lap dancing clubs, hire private rooms and encourage a repeat of the sordid Las Vegas pole dancing scandal?”

  She nodded. “And, for your information, we didn’t ‘sneak’ into that lap dancing club, we walked in, just like anyone else would do.”

  “Only because you were both off-your-heads drunk.”

  “We were not.”

  “Yes you were, you told me you were. I don’t know, I can’t leave you alone for five minutes before the pair of you are in the papers revealing your dirty little sex secrets.”

  She pushed him playfully, smiling at him. “Shut up! We don’t have any dirty little sex secrets.”

  “No, not anymore you don’t.” He turned to quickly kiss her cheek, waving at someone across the other side of the marquee. “If I don’t see you before you slope off for a night of debauched sex with your new husband – of which I’m extremely jealous, I want you to know that – you have a good night, ok, angel?”

  She smiled at him and he returned it, blowing her another kiss as he ran off towards the bar.

  She turned and walked off back towards the table, looking down at her wedding ring again as she did so, not seeing Ray there in front of her.

  “Oh, sorry, I wasn’t ...”

  “Looking where you were going. No. I had noticed.”

  She looked up at him for a second before continuing to walk past him on her way to sit down.

  “That was quite a performance out there by the way.”

  She stopped and turned back around. “What was?”

  “You and my baby brother. You really don’t care about public displays of affection, do you?”

  “What do you want me to do, Ray? Keep him at arms length until we’re safely behind the bedroom door?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  She looked at him, utterly confused and extremely concerned about his behaviour. Almost five years and nothing, yet now he couldn’t leave it alone and that worried her.

  “I don’t actually know what you’re saying, Ray. I don’t know why you’re acting like this and I don’t know why you’ve dug all of this up now. It’s my wedding day, it’s Joe’s wedding day. Why are you doing this?”

  He just looked at her. “Like I said, I won’t say anything to JJ.”

  “So why keep torturing me?”

  But he gave her his answer with a look, saying nothing, just looking at her as he walked away and India just had to hope and pray that, this time, the past wouldn’t come back to haunt her.

  CHAPTER 63

  “Joe! Joe, come on! We’ve got to get going,” India said, pulling the covers off her handsome young husband, who was refusing to get out of bed.

  “It’s freezing here, India,” he laughed, grabbing the covers from her and pulling them back over his naked body.

  “Don’t be soft,” she said, running her fingers through her hair and shaking it out, quickly applying a coat of mascara.

  “How do you do that without looking in a mirror?” JJ asked, sitting up in bed, watching her as she ran around getting ready.

  “Years of practise, Joseph. Come on, get up, we’re going to be late.”

  “And for your information, there is nothing soft about me.”

  She looked at him and smiled. He was right there, and as much as she’d have liked to get proof of that, they really were running late.

  “Just shift that incredibly sexy arse of yours and throw some clothes on, please.”

  “The honeymoon’s over then I take it?” he said, but he had that smile on his face, a smile that told her the honeymoon would never really be over. Not as far as they were concerned.

  They were now in the U.K., where India was due to start work on her new movie, but before they moved up to the North East of England, where the majority of the movie was being filmed, the newlyweds had a bit of publicity work to be getting on with for the upcoming season of ‘Covert One’, which had just begun airing in the U.K. They had photo shoots and interviews lined up and although it was a busy and potentially exhausting schedule, the saving grace was that they were doing it together.

  The only thi
ng most people wanted to talk about, however, was their relationship, although it was still very much a secret that they were actually married. Neither of them had felt the need to say anything to anybody just yet, and that had meant no wedding or engagement rings had been worn since their wedding day anywhere, not even during their honeymoon on Australia’s Gold Coast. To the rest of the world that had been nothing but a holiday.

  But India planned to tell the truth about her and JJ during an interview she was due to give that evening - her first in-depth interview in the U.K. for many years. An interview that was going to talk about her life from the beginning of this whole, crazy adventure, something that promised to be both revealing and painful because the person conducting the interview was renowned for his tough and probing questions. He was famous for getting more out of his celebrity interviewees than they’d probably intended to give, and all of this meant that she was more than likely going to have to talk about her brother’s death and her complicated marriage to Michael, not to mention her relationship with Kenny. That was bound to come up. So she was more than a little wary about the whole thing, but, at the same time, she couldn’t wait to say the words she’d been dying to say since the second he’d put that ring on her finger – that Joseph Joshua Foster was her husband. And she loved him like crazy.

  “Are you going to get up now?” India asked, looking at him as he sat there, his hands behind his head as he leant back against the headboard. “And what are you smiling at?”

  “You. I love the way you talk, that accent ... it’s such a turn on.”

  She’d never really lost her North East accent. She’d learned to tone it down, or even lose it completely for movies, but in her everyday life she was very much a girl from Newcastle, despite all those years living in L.A.

  “Well, that’s the first time I’ve heard that be said, but, thanks.”

  “Say my name,” he said, grabbing her hand as she came over to his side of the bed to pick her watch up from the bedside table.

  “Why?”

  He pulled her down beside him, still holding her hand. “Just say it. Go on.”

  She looked at him, cocking her head to one side. “JJ.”