Daydream Believer

by C. L. Quinn

  Baron sealed the chamber and removed his suit in decontamination. The deed was done so at this point, there was no reason for secrecy. He traveled back to where he’d been a moment ago to draw a large vial of Burne’s blood and waved Park over.

  “Yes?” she asked, weaker than he thought she might. Her color had changed. God, he thought, she’s succumbing.

  “Uh, Park, there’s been a development.”

  “Good news, I hope.”

  “It…may be. Why don’t we have a seat, you don’t look good.”

  Park paused, leaving him no doubt that she was hiding something. He knew why, too, since there was no medical recourse at this time.

  “A first blood vampire came to me just an hour ago. Apparently, someone has discovered that injecting the virus into a Shoazan may create a vaccine or treatment for it. The Shoazan must survive, of course. She said her name is Dez and I’ve acceded to her request and done so. She’s in isolation room 4.”

  Park grunted and closed her eyes. What? Baron had injected the virus directly into Dez?

  “Come again?”

  “You need to speak with your father, Park. I don’t have details, but I do have a stake in this, in helping you and your people. If this stands a chance, we have to take it. I have no other options.”

  “I’m not questioning your motives, but this is serious.”

  “This is life and death, my dear. You are not well, your friend is likely to die, and I am no further in understanding how to defeat this thing. This woman came to me and begged that I let her do this before her family or friends came to offer. That makes her a big hero in my book.”

  “Dez. Yeah, she has the softest heart in the world, but don’t ever tell her that. Okay, I’ll call my father.”

  Koen shook his head in surprise. Dez had gone to Park’s lab and had herself injected without letting anyone know. Now he had to go tell Zach, Tamesine and Olivia.

  He intercepted Tamesine as she came around a corner too fast.

  “Koen, hey. I need to speak with you.”

  “Yeah, so do I. Only I don’t think what you have to tell me is going to matter much. Where’s Zach and Olivia?”

  “Behind me. They’re not happy with the turn of events.”

  The two vampires mentioned showed up and stopped short when they saw Koen and Tamesine in the middle of the room. Koen motioned them over. “Guys, come here. Sit down.”

  Tamesine put a hand up. “Koen, if you’re going to try to talk me out of this, don’t bother.”

  “Tam, stop. Listen. You’re going to Park’s lab to volunteer to be the Shoazan guinea pig, am I right?”

  “Koen, you’re not going to…”

  “Am I right?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re too late.” Koen paused and lowered his tone. “Guys, Dez already did it. She had them inject her.”

  “What the fuck did you say?” Zach asked quietly because he was sure he didn’t hear Koen right.

  “I’m sorry, but Park just called. Dez has already been injected. She showed up there an hour ago and had the lab manager do it. She told him that there was no way she would allow anyone else to do this. Tam, Olivia, Zach…it’s done.”

  Tamesine stood, her eyes searching the room. “There has to be something I can do.”

  “You know there isn’t. We’re really powerful, but sometimes the universe gives us something that is out of our hands. This is one of those times. Dez chose this. She wanted to protect you two.”

  “But, it was settled.” Olivia had decided that, at the last minute, she’d force Tamesine aside and take the injection. Now, the woman she really wanted to get to know might be dying. A forever death. She wasn’t sure that she’d ever felt worse in her life.

  Tamesine looked around the room. “Zach. He’s gone.”

  “I’ll find him,” Olivia said, because she needed to get out of the room as much as he had.

  She knew where he’d go. Down near the seashore, she saw his tall silhouette. A boat out near the horizon cut a striking shape against the white clouds that appeared to be floating on the water.

  “Zach, she did it for all of us.”

  “I know.”

  “She’s a big old softie, isn’t she?”

  “Yes, wrapped in titanium and concrete. She’d never let you get away with calling her that.”

  “I already got her down well enough to realize the truth there.”

  “I need to go to her.”

  “You can’t. They won’t let you. She’s infected, Zach.”

  “What the fuck am I going to do without her? The past two years, yeah, they were a blast, I partied my way through half the globe. But I always knew that someday, we’d find our way back to each other.”

  “She’s not gone, and she may never be. Let me check and see if we can visit remotely.”

  “Sure.”

  Olivia drew Zach in and held him tight, a hug that promised it would be okay, even if there was no way that she could do it.

  Moving back, Olivia was gone, and Zach drew a rough breath. “Desiree, how dare you do this without me? What if…” Zach hurried out into the surf. “No. No what if’s. The world is full of them and I won’t live that way. My baby is going to be well and she’s going to come home to me.”

  The distant ship had sailed halfway across the visible horizon. Zach dropped into the water and sat there. Soon, he would have to go in to that bed all alone. The sun would arrive before the ship disappeared from sight.

  Twelve

  Panic woke Park, her heart tearing a wild rhythm in her chest, her breath caught as she struggled to draw in the stale air. She sat up quickly, a blood rush to her head made her dizzy all over again. Something was wrong. Something…

  Bernie!

  The pile of blankets shoved aside, Park hurried to Bernie’s bedside, but it was empty. The last time this happened, she’d escaped to find air and sky, but it was daylight now, early morning, and she couldn’t go out.

  Park raced through the doors again, grateful, again, that no one was in her path. The main door to the front of the lab was slightly ajar, a long triangle of sunlight pushing in to illuminate the walls in warm yellow.

  Bernie stood behind the door, her eyes on Park as she carefully made her way down the hallway.

  “Park,” Bernie croaked out. “I want to see the day begin. Once more, before I go, I want to see the sunrise.”

  “You can’t. You’ll burn.”

  “Are you sure? Your lab boy says that I’m mostly human again.” Bernie put a finger up to her lips. “Shhh. Don’t tell, but I’m going to try it. What’s the harm now anyway, right?”

  “No, Bernie…!”

  Bernie slipped out the door, and pulled it nearly shut, the sliver of light now only crushing through a narrow slit.

  “Bernie! Are you okay?” Park called out, waiting, terrified that she was burning to death outside this door.

  At first, no answer came, but then she heard Bernie cry out.

  It was a joyful cry.

  “Oh, Park, it’s beautiful! Oh, I’d forgotten, truly forgotten, how sunlight feels on my face, on my hair, on bare feet. I wish, oh, I wish you could come out here and experience this with me. Park, it’s better than any memory!”

  Standing protected behind the heavy door, Park’s heart ached for Bernie with pain and joy. She still wondered after all of these years how those two diverse emotions could live side by side, but they did.

  “I’m glad, my sister, that you got to do this. I’m glad that you’re happy.”

  Bernie’s face popped inside the door for a moment, her smile splitting her face. “I can’t come in yet, not yet. I’m going to sing to the sky! I hope you can hear it from here.”

  Bernie left again and a few minutes later, Park slid down behind the door, weeping, smiling, her feet cold against the tile, the door as wide as she dared.

  “Let the sun shine in, Let the sun shine in, the su..un shine in…”

  Bernie
, with all the joy that Park remembered from that first day they’d met in Oregon in a bright, busy restaurant. Park recalled how they’d meshed right away, a bond based on nothing more than an immediate shared attraction of women who were bound to be friends, sisters, and travel this path together. How could they say goodbye? As vampires, they were to have centuries to live through loves, losses, laughs, all the things that came along the path with them.

  Those possibilities gone now, Park let herself listen, truly hear, her friend’s joy at its deepest. Bernie was happy on this day when she didn’t have very many left.

  It was a good day.

  “Peek-a-boo,” Bernie said, her face coming around the edge of the door again. “Sweetie, have I ever told you how much I love you?”

  Park looked up at the beaming face above her.

  “To the moon?”

  “And beyond. Oh, man, if I have to go out, I couldn’t be happier. Wherever I go from here, I’ll wait for the sunrise every day. Park, would you go get Vaz?”

  “Right now.”

  Park raced down the hallway and woke Vaz from a deep sleep. He startled almost as much as Park had, then shot upright.

  “It’s Bernie,” he said in fear.

  “No. Well, yes, but she’s outside, Vaz, in the morning sunshine. It doesn’t burn her anymore and she wants you to see how happy she is. Come, right away.”

  In seconds, they both waited behind the door as Bernie slipped back in. She put her arms around Vaz’s neck and kissed him, her lips warm.

  “Can you feel that? That’s good old UV on my pale skin. It’s a miracle, Vaz, is what it is.”

  She looked at Park. “Sweetie, can I have some time with him alone?”

  A simple nod followed Park’s smile and she was gone.

  “Baby, you need to know that you are the best man in the world and that I’ve loved every moment with you. Don’t you dare grieve for me more than six months, you hear me? I’ll be watching.”

  “I can’t…”

  “You have to grant me my final wish. I want you to find a freaking amazing woman and fall in love again. You do that, and I promise you, I’ll be smiling from wherever I am.”

  Vaz pulled Bernie close, his arms around her middle and neck. The spectacularly fit vampire body was gone. She was emaciated, her skin gray now, her milk-chocolate eyes dull. He pulled back and caressed her cheeks with both hands. “My God, you’re beautiful.”

  “It’s the sunshine. I’m going back out. I just wanted you to know…you know, in case.”

  Bernie was gone again, and Vaz mirrored Park’s pose from earlier, he dropped down to the floor. Only he couldn’t find the sunshine, no matter how bright it was coming through the opening. For Vaz, although he hadn’t been allowed in sunlight for several hundred years, looked at the yellow-white light. He was losing the sun again.

  Baron secured Bernie and the others back in the isolation chamber and had the hallway decontaminated again. It had to be past noon now and they were all sleeping again. Moving to the small isolation rooms, he glanced in at Dez, sleeping, finally, after a fitful night. Thank God. It was time for some lunch and he’d take a long nap before he got up to work with them again tonight.

  Lightning filled her vision, electricity off the grid and unbelievably loud, there was no rest, no moment of calm, nothing other than pain and noise battering her mind and body. It felt as if something ripped her apart, then ripped the remains apart again.

  As quickly, it all stopped, and she dropped into a soft meadow, a milky sun, not too bright, led her eyes to the warmth of the sky. Silence, except for her own breathing.

  Dez felt as if the universe had needed someone to take all of man’s egregious actions out on and chose her to punish. For these seconds, where she was, in her mind, her spirit, her soul, it was sanctuary. It would not be for long.

  Somewhere, she knew what was happening, that her body was being attacked, that her mind was receiving a gift, that the universe and destiny knew who she was and were trying to help her.

  Then the slide, down, down, the rabbit hole into hell once again. She would not survive this assault.

  Somewhere close to dusk, Park felt a hand on her shoulder, a gentle nudge and a soft voice.

  “Park, wake up.”

  Her sleep had been interrupted by their sunny playdate earlier in the day and all she really wanted was to roll over and go back to sleep. Her head hurt worse than ever.

  Still, she popped her eyes open to Baron leaning over her. “It’s Bernie. Park, I think she’s close. I think she’s dying.”

  “No…” the heart-wrenching moan tore from her as she surged from her bed and joined Vaz, already sitting next to Bernie.

  Her head propped up, she looked like a character from Nightmare Before Christmas, she was so thin, her color a sick ash gray. Yet she held her head up, as graceful as a swan, with her trademark smile.

  “Hey, the band’s back together,” Bernie whispered.

  “Yeah, so you’ve heard me sing, it might not be a good idea.” Park took the other side of the bed.

  “Never be afraid to sing, sister. Life can change in an instant, and if it does, you want to look back and know you rocked it.” Bernie looked at Park, then Vaz, as she took their hands.

  “I rocked it because you guys shared my life with me. If I could have chosen anyone in this world to be here, right now, while I take my final breath, it would be you two. Thank you for always being there for me.” She looked towards Park. “Thank you for making me vampire.”

  She leaned into Vaz. “And thank you for letting me know how much I have been loved.”

  Park wrapped her fingers around Burne’s arm.

  “Bernie, hold on. Please, there may be a way. Just hold on a few more days.”

  After drawing a long, labored breath, Bernie closed her eyes. “I don’t work anymore. I’m not vampire, but I’m not human either. I’ve broken apart, my sister, and all the king’s horses and all the king’s men can’t put me back together again.”

  Her eyes opened slowly, slitted, and looked from Vaz to Park again. “But don’t be sad. Please, don’t be sad. As I lifted my face to the sun today, it was like God touched me and said that it was time to come home. So there’s no reason for sadness.”

  “We’ll try. We’re just going to miss you so much.” Park tried and failed to stop the tears from sliding from her eyes.

  “No, no, remember,” Bernie stopped to painfully force another breath. “Remember that I’ll always be watching.”

  Bernie’s eyes closed again and she exhaled hard, her hand tightened around Vaz’s. “I’ve loved well…if not long…” She wheezed. “Baby…”

  Her grip loosened and her body relaxed against the bed.

  Park searched Bernie’s face. “Bernie…?” she asked, but she knew that Bernie would not answer her again.

  Her eyes went to Vaz. Tears streamed unchecked, but he couldn’t speak. They both loved this woman so much who had just left them forever…there were no words.

  Bernie’s journey was over. A phrase Park had heard once when she was a little girl came to her.

  May the winds of destiny carry you to the stars, Park thought to Bernie, and hoped that she could hear.

  Pain shredded Dez, tore her to pieces, she wished for death to end it. That which made her vampire screamed, blood of her blood ran deep, but it bubbled, fire like she’d never known burned her.

  A battle raged inside her body, the virus that insinuated itself into every cell to destroy who she was born, and the first blood magic, finally touched because her spirit amulet rode with her. Blood against blood, living virus against living virus, fire against fire, Dez tried to retreat, to reach the spirit realm where she might find refuge, but she couldn’t get there.

  All she could think at one point was that she was happy that Olivia hadn’t gone through this, and that it was okay if death released her from un-survivable pain.

  At times, she had moments where she could breathe again a
nd thought that someone might be near, but it was never long enough to regain consciousness and ask for help. There was none to be had, anyway. Destiny would choose the outcome. She wavered between pure anger that this thing was trying to consume her, and the hope that it would be over soon and there would be peace.

  Zach, I’m sorry, her mind cried in those moments where the pain lessened, and knew there was every chance she’d never really get to tell him that she was.

  The furnace blasted on again as her head exploded with fireballs.

  I wonder why I’m not screaming, she thought.

  “Bas?”

  “Baby, I know. I felt her go.”

  “Oh. You were her sire. I didn’t know that you could do that.”

  “We were bonded through your blood and mine and I felt Bernie release herself and cross the veil. I’m sorry, Park. Are you okay?”

  “I’m getting through it.”

  “How’s Vaz?”

  “Wrecked. It will be a long time before he is okay again.”

  “I understand. I can’t imagine losing you.”

  Park couldn’t speak. And Bas was an intuitive man.

  “Baby, how are you?” He asked, emphasis on the how.

  This wasn’t the time to tell him, though.

  “I’m fine, Bas, really.”

  “No additional symptoms?”

  “No.”

  He knew that she lied. He knew why. For minutes he didn’t move or speak.

  “You need to let me come.”

  “No. You must be there for Cairine.”

  “I can’t do this, Park. I can’t stay away if you’re getting sicker.”

  “Because of that you must. We’re on it, my love. I’m first blood and much more powerful than Bernie was. Have faith.”