Hillary_Flesh and Blood

by Angel Gelique

  “Phillip?” she called out, trying to wake him.

  A police officer approached behind her as an ambulance arrived.

  “Miss? I need to ask you some questions.”

  Kathy was crying heavily now.

  “He’s not waking up, he’s not waking up,” she said hysterically.

  The officer helped Kathy up as the paramedics hurried over to Phillip. Kathy wondered if he was dead.

  “Who did this to you...to him?” the police officer asked as he gestured to Phillip.

  Kathy was still sobbing heavily. She could barely speak.

  “I know you’re upset but you have to calm down. Everything’s gonna be okay now. We need to catch this guy. Is he someone you know?”

  Kathy knew she should tell the officer that it was Michael. He had threatened to visit her again soon and she knew he wouldn’t hesitate to hurt her. She had seen the anger and hatred in those treacherous eyes. If she told the officer, maybe she’d be safe. Instead, she shook her head, denying knowledge of the man who had assaulted her and Phillip.

  “Okay. Are you hurt? Other than your face, I mean?”

  Kathy shook her head again.

  “What’s your name, Miss?”

  “K-Kathy...Kathy Nicholls,” she managed to reply.

  “Do you know the man on the ground?”

  Kathy nodded, adding “my friend Phillip.”

  “Is Phillip your boyfriend?”

  “No, just a friend,” she said unsteadily. She was shaking.

  Another officer approached them, a tall, rotund female with short, dark hair.

  “Kathy, this is Officer Sinclaire, she’s going to take you down to the station for a statement, okay?”

  Kathy nodded. She didn’t want to go but knew she would have to. She followed Officer Sinclaire to a patrol car. The officer was saying something, but Kathy wasn’t paying attention. She was transfixed on Phillip’s lifeless body on the gurney. The other officer was walking toward a group of college kids. She wondered how many witnesses there were and what they would say. She had lied to the cop. Would they know she was being untruthful?

  “Are you sure you’re okay? Do you need medical attention?” Officer Sinclaire asked loudly.

  Kathy turned to face the large, aloof woman. She looked as though she was annoyed that she was being inconvenienced. Kathy felt like apologizing to her but was too upset to speak. She shook her head, indicating that she didn’t require any medical attention then entered the police car.

  Kathy denied knowing her assailant and described a man that looked nothing like Michael. After a grueling hour, she was driven back to her apartment. She was nervous about entering. Michael still had a key and she had never changed the locks. She expected him to pop up out of nowhere and take the rest of his anger out on her. Instead, she entered an empty apartment.

  As before, days turned into weeks without any sign of Michael. This time, even Phillip seemed to disappear as well. He didn’t return to class and Kathy no longer saw him at his usual campus hangouts. Kathy later learned that Phillip had been beaten so badly, he sustained brain damage. If the cops hadn’t shown up when they did, Michael would have beaten him to death. Phillip’s parents had been called and after several days in the hospital, they took him home.

  Kathy always kept a watchful eye out for Michael. As opposed to the last time he disappeared, she never let down her guard, always looking over her shoulder, always expecting him to show up. Kathy knew it was just a matter of time before Michael would enter her life again.

  Days shy of the month anniversary of Phillip’s beating, Michael entered Kathy’s apartment while she was in class. He searched her personal items for signs of betrayal. As far as he was concerned, they were still together. Kathy was his girlfriend and he had to keep her in line.

  When Kathy arrived home, she had no clue that Michael was waiting for her in the bedroom, on the bed they used to share. She kicked off her shoes, dropped her backpack and raced to the bathroom. Minutes later, she was in the kitchen preparing a cup of coffee. She thought she heard a noise. She scanned the room cautiously then peeked into the living room and looked around. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, she stirred sugar into her cup of coffee and grabbed a bagel from a brown bag within the bread box. She opened the refrigerator and pulled out a butter-substitute spread. She spread a thin layer of it onto her bagel then set it on a dish.

  As Kathy carried her bagel and coffee over to the couch, she thought she heard something again. It was a faint sound, but a definite one. Her heart raced as she placed the bagel and coffee mug upon the end table. She froze in place awaiting a further sound. Was it movement? She knew without even seeing him that Michael was somewhere in the apartment. She considered running out of there but changed her mind. What good would it do? She was tired of worrying about him. She was going to confront him and let him know that she had no interest in him anymore.

  Slowly, Kathy inched her way toward the bedroom. The door was open. From where Kathy was standing, the room looked empty. She wondered if she was just being paranoid. Pushing the door further open, Kathy stepped into the room and gasped. Michael was on the bed, naked, clearly waiting for her.

  “Did you miss me, baby?” he asked, as if it were just an ordinary day in their relationship.

  Kathy was speechless. She stood on wobbly legs as she pondered whether she should run out of the apartment. He was naked, he couldn’t follow her. She had a good lead too, she could make it. Or, should she just call the cops?

  “You look scared, honey, what’s wrong?” he asked softly.

  Kathy couldn’t help it, she began to cry. Tears streaked down her face and blurred her vision as Michael approached her. She took a step back when he was about a foot away from her.

  “I don’t understand why you’re crying,” Michael said, growing angry. He reached out to hug her and she gasped loudly, expecting a blow to the face.

  “Dammit, Kathy, you’d better stop freaking out. Why are you so upset?”

  “Michael...what are you doing here?”

  “I live here,” he replied, placing his hands on her waist, pulling her closer.

  “You...you left,” Kathy said, now inches from Michael’s face. He looked “normal.” There was no sign of the crazed Michael within his clear blue eyes.

  “Well, you know, I just had to sort some things out. All’s well now, all’s forgiven,” he smiled then planted his lips upon hers.

  Kathy jumped. She wasn’t convinced that Michael had forgiven her, that everything between them was just fine. What about Phillip? Did he even care that he had nearly killed a man?

  “You act like you’re afraid of me,” he said, insulted by her behavior toward him.

  “Michael, you...you almost killed Phillip!” Kathy blurted out.

  Michael’s eyes narrowed as he grabbed on to Kathy’s jaw firmly.

  “That’s what you’re worried about, that’s all you care about? Your stupid boyfriend?” he spat the word out as though it were poison on his tongue.

  “Phillip was just—” Kathy began mumbling.

  “I don’t give a damn about Phillip!”

  Michael’s grip on Kathy’s jaw tightened as his anger intensified. She tried to wrench free, to no avail.

  “You’re, you’re hurting me,” she cried out.

  “Not like you’ve hurt me,” he replied petulantly.

  Kathy felt as though her jaw was on the verge of crushing. She moaned in pain as tears filled her eyes. This was the moment she had feared.

  “You killed my baby,” he said angrily, applying even more pressure as Kathy fought to pull her head away. She was trembling as her feet moved about wildly in a bizarre dance of pain.

  “You cheated on me,” he continued, hearing a loud snap as he unhinged her lower jaw.

  An agonizing scream rose up in Kathy’s throat, stifled by her partially-covered mouth. It turned into a loud-pitched wailing and sobbing after Michael swung her body toward the bed and gav
e her a violent shove. Kathy fell back upon the bed where she trembled helplessly, her hand cradling her dislocated jaw. Michael pushed her outstretched legs onto the bed and pounced on her.

  “Take off your jeans,” he ordered.

  Kathy shook her head slowly, in too much pain to attempt speech.

  “When I tell you to do something, you do it!” he shouted, his fisted hand hovering threateningly over her face.

  Kathy released her aching jaw and reached for the button on her jeans. Slowly, with shaky hands, she fumbled to unfasten and unzip her pants. As she lifted up to slide them down, Michael forcibly yanked them to her ankles, then pried down her underwear.

  “Are these new?” he asked, referring to the red lace thongs she had been wearing.

  Kathy shook her head, lying.

  “Liar!” Michael erupted, slapping her across the face. The sting radiated down to her jaw, exacerbating her pain. She sobbed heavily, cringing as she felt him grope her inner thigh.

  “It doesn’t matter,” he panted softly, “all that’s in the past. From now on, you’re mine...you understand me? You do as I say. Got it?”

  Kathy said nothing. She couldn’t believe this was actually happening. She had feared this day for so long and now that it was here, it didn’t seem real. It was more like a horrific dream.

  “You hear me, Kath?” he asked, roughly shaking her out of her trance.

  “Uh-huh,” she muttered nervously.

  Without further warning or discussion, Michael positioned himself over Kathy and raped her, purposefully being as rough as possible. Kathy uttered muffled cries of pain and anguish. When he was done, he burst out laughing.

  “You thought you could just kill my baby,” he snickered, “well, we’ll do this every day ‘til you give me a new baby.”

  True to his word, Michael raped Kathy every night for two months straight before his sexual assaults decreased to every other night then a couple of times a week. What Michael did not know was that Kathy had a sub-dermal contraceptive implanted within her arm the same day that she had the abortion. She knew he could not impregnate her but Michael grew puzzled and suspicious. Was she taking birth control pills? He searched throughout her dresser drawers, the closet, the bathroom, even within the kitchen cabinets, looking for an explanation. He would have been furious to find something, but not finding anything likewise infuriated him. He wanted a baby. He would make sure Kathy became pregnant once and for all.

  First he made Kathy drop out of school. Then he made her quit her job at the deli. Slowly he isolated her from her friends and family members. Still, months later, Kathy was not pregnant.

  Frustrated, he approached Kathy one night after returning from his job in a supermarket. As he had on numerous occasions, he accused her taking birth control pills.

  “I’m not on the pill,” she argued truthfully.

  “Then why aren’t you pregnant?”

  “I don’t know,” she lied.

  “It’s because of that damn abortion,” Michael shouted angrily. Thinking about the abortion enraged him. Kathy noticed the transformation and slowly stepped away from him.

  “Where are you going?” he yelled.

  “Nowhere...I...I was just going to serve your dinner.”

  “I don’t want dinner, I want a baby!”

  Why is he so obsessed with getting me pregnant, Kathy wondered nervously.

  “Okay...how ‘bout a beer?”

  Kathy had been discovering ways she could diffuse his anger. She could usually distract him or stroke his ego somehow. Sometimes, when all else proved unsuccessful, she would resort to sex. That night, the distraction seemed to help.

  “Fine, bring me two,” Michael had demanded, still irate, but losing his violent edge.

  Michael’s dominion and control over every aspect of Kathy’s life increased throughout the months and years until at last she was no more than his obedient puppet. When he proposed to her three years later, she didn’t hesitate to accept his offer. It wasn’t out of fear, either. To her surprise, she discovered she actually loved him and was content being his sheltered soon-to-be bride. He had temper flare-ups now and again, but for the most part, he was good to her. He seemed to genuinely love her.

  Kathy and Michael secured a marriage license and were married at the Town Hall within a week. It was far from the wedding Kathy had always dreamed of, but she was satisfied just knowing she would be his wife. She was even ready to take the next step...to finally give Michael the child he had longed for.

  Michael believed that Kathy had somehow been rendered sterile by the abortion she had. Now, as his wife, Kathy was ready—indeed, eager—to get pregnant. A baby would help fill the void in her life. Unable to work, per Michael’s command, Kathy’s day consisted of waking up, making the bed, brewing a pot of coffee, cooking breakfast for Michael, tidying up the kitchen, vacuuming the family room, washing a load of laundry, watching daytime television for a couple of hours, then running whatever errands needed to be done. The highlights of her days were visiting the library and splurging on baked goods from a nearby bakery. A baby would greatly improve the quality of her life.

  Yet Kathy discovered that it wouldn’t be easy. She was supposed to have her contraceptive implant removed after three years of insertion. Nearly five years later, the rod could not be located within her arm. To her dismay, an ultrasound proved ineffective to locate it. She was going to have an MRI scan but was informed that it would be a waste of time since so much time had passed. The rod would eventually lose its hormonal effectiveness. Kathy knew it was her fault; she had begged the doctor to insert it deeply so that she could keep it hidden from Michael. Even after it was first inserted, she could not feel it under her skin. Now she was being punished for her deception.

  Long after the sub-dermal contraceptive should have been rendered ineffectual, Kathy was distraught to find each month that she was not pregnant. She started to believe, as Michael, that her reproductive system had been damaged when she hastily decided to abort their unborn baby.

  Wallowing in self-pity and depression, Kathy gave up her dream of becoming a mother. Seeing the unpleasant change in her, but not knowing the real reason, Michael allowed her to find a job. He thought she was going stir-crazy at home with nothing to do. He truly did care about her now. Her income would also allow them to buy a house, live the American dream.

  Kathy found a job at the library and slowly accepted her fate. She was once again content with her life the way it was. Seven months later on a cold morning in November, after throwing up her breakfast, Kathy knew she was given a second chance at motherhood. A visit to the doctor the following day confirmed her belief. She was beside herself with joy. Nothing could wipe the smile off her face.

  Later that evening when Michael returned home from work, she surprised with a feast of all his favorite foods.

  “What’s all this for?” he questioned suspiciously.

  “I have the most amazing news,” she replied, unable to contain her excitement.

  Michael knew instantly. Kathy was beaming. A smile formed on his face before he was even able to fully comprehend the news.

  “Are you...are you pregnant, baby?”

  Kathy nodded as she squealed in delight and flung herself within his strong arms. Michael kissed her passionately.

  “I can’t believe it!” he exclaimed, “all those years we tried, all those....”

  Suspicion veiled his face as he stopped speaking. Kathy knew what was coming. She slowly backed away and turned her attention to the food on the table.

  “It’s not mine, is it?” he shouted.

  “What?” Kathy asked, puzzled. She thought he had realized that she had been on birth control all those years. She didn’t think he would question her fidelity.

  “That’s why, isn’t it?” he yelled angrily, “you couldn’t get pregnant with me so you whored around. Who’s the father? Some loser you met at the library?”

  “No!” Kathy protested, scared ye
t outraged by his accusation.

  Should I just tell him about the birth control, she wondered, but decided it would only add fuel to the fire.

  “Sweetheart, I love only you,” she assured him, “this is your baby in me, it’s yours....”

  Michael glared furiously at her for several long seconds before his face softened.

  “Really, Kathy?” he asked almost shyly.

  Kathy nodded, smiling.

  “All yours,” she replied, “if you have any doubts you can even get a paternity test, but I swear to you, this is your child.”

  Michael believed her, possibly because he had wanted a baby so desperately. He was going to be a father at last.

  For the next eight months, Michael treated Kathy like a queen, catering to her every craving, every need. On July 13, 1997, Hillary Anne Greyson was born. Pink and perfect, Michael had no need whatsoever to seek a paternity test. Hillary was his; she belonged to him.

  When Hillary was a year old, Kathy became pregnant again. Michael worked even harder to provide for his growing family. The year after their second child, Caleigh, was born, Michael and Kathy moved to rural Maple Trails, South Carolina.

  Hillary seemed to be the perfect child. She was a beautiful, smart, well-behaved, happy girl. Through the years, she continued to grow even more beautiful, smart, confident and happy...until that ill-fated day when happiness would become a distant memory.

  ~2~

  Just by chance, Michael happened to be home early the night Bobbi Sutton, an agent from Child Protective Services, visited the home. His heart raced, not knowing if Hillary had contacted them with accusations of abuse. Kathy approached the doorway as Michael allowed the woman to enter.

  Bobbi Sutton stood at five feet, three inches tall. She had dark hair and dazzling grey eyes. She looked young, no more than thirty. Yet despite her girlish figure and appearance, she had a clear “no-nonsense” attitude.

  “Are you Mrs. Greyson?” she asked Kathy. Kathy nodded nervously. She knew why this woman was here. It had been nearly a month since Hillary last attended school.