Omega's Unexpected

by Tammy Knight

  “You don’t know anything about me, Jamie. All you know is this fantasy you’ve been entertaining, but I’m not what you seem to think I am. I care a lot about you, but the opposite has never been true. If you cared so much about my well-being, you never would have tried to drag me into this whole scheme with the post office. You just want to keep me under your thumb like some plaything that you can use as you see fit. Well, I’m sorry to tell you that I’m not going to let that fly any longer. You don’t get a say in this when all you’ve ever wanted is to use me for a cheap lay,” Craig said icily. Jamie looked taken aback, and for a moment, he looked as if he would burst into tears. Then, he bared his teeth in a twisted grin, edging closer to Craig and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt.

  “You didn’t mind that so much when we first discussed this whole matter. You seemed all too happy to be my plaything. What’s changed since then, Craig-y boy? You suddenly decide that you want some other guy’s prick, and I don’t matter anymore?” Jamie bit out, twisting his fist into Craig’s shirt. As much as Craig wanted to push him away, he was angrier at himself than anything. Jamie was right to an extent. He hadn’t been able to push the alpha away when it actually counted, and now he was paying the price. Still, he wasn’t entirely to blame. The beginning stages of his heat had a lot to do with his willingness to share a bed with his best friend, especially when so much was at risk. He couldn’t really express as much though, could he? It would more or less reveal the truth that he had been desperately trying to hide all along. The truth that seemed so obvious if you put the pieces together, but Jamie had never been good at puzzles. Craig supposed he could be grateful for that much at least.

  “I wasn’t in the right state of mind,” he finally settled on, saying the words with as much calmness as he could muster. Jamie released his grip on the other man, stepping back and crossing his arms over his chest. He had a rather self-satisfied grin, and Craig was sure more of his biting personality was going to explode out. He just had to keep himself in control, no matter what Craig did.

  “What? All it takes is a few shots and some sweet words, and you’ll lose your senses? You’ll just spread your legs for anyone, won’t you? I kinda figured, considering, well,” Jamie paused, gesturing towards Craig’s stomach. “But y’know, I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. As long as we’ve known each other, I thought I owed you that much. I thought I owed you my kindness, but you can just go suck off your little baby daddy before you get your insides scrambled,” the alpha male said coldly, his voice calculating. Craig nearly reeled from the venom in his friend’s tone, and all at once, any measure of sense that he had managed to hold on to evaporated from his being. He leaped to his feet, giving Jamie a harsh shove towards the bathroom door. Jamie refused to budge much, his lips quirking in snide amusement. “Did I hit a nerve, Craig? Was it just another one of your conquests gone wrong?” Jamie demanded.

  “I was in heat, you giant idiot. I was in the beginning stages of my heat--that’s why I had such a hard time resisting you. Don’t give yourself so much credit. You’re not as hot as you think you are, but I was dumb enough to come check on you when you said you had urgent news. This… this is all your fault, you dumb bastard!” Craig spat, swinging his arm and knocking the pregnancy test off the counter in the process. He glared at Jamie, who could do little but look on in shock as the omega crouched to grab the test.

  “You mean…you were in your cycle?” Jamie pressed, his eyes widened with disbelief.

  “Shut up. Just shut up. You’ve done enough,” the omega male hissed out, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as he read the test results. “You’ve done enough,” he whispered, allowing his arm to fall limp at his side. He knew Jamie could see the results just as clearly as he had, the large font that screamed ‘pregnant’ flashing on the test. He was vaguely annoyed that he’d bought one of those obnoxious digital tests, at least a blue line would have been less obvious.

  “Craig…Craig, what are you talking about? You can’t mean--,” Jamie sputtered, trying to step forward and draw Craig into an embrace. The omega resisted, tears rolling down his cheeks as he tried to break free.

  “You really thought there would be anyone else? You really think… Well, it doesn’t matter what you think. You don’t have to think about it at all. It’s not your body being destroyed; it’s not your life being destroyed. You’re not the one who has to make the decision to kill something you’ve come to love more than life itself,” Craig choked out, sobs making his body tremble. He finally allowed himself to fall into Jamie’s arms, crying so hard that Jamie could scarcely keep a proper grip on him. “It was only ever you. If it had been anyone else, I wouldn’t have hesitated to scramble this tiny life forming inside of me. But it was only you. I didn’t want to burden you with the knowledge. I didn’t want you to hate me, or worse, hate yourself more than you always have. I just wanted it to go under the radar,” Craig whispered shakily.

  “At what cost, Craig? You’ve been suffering all this time and…and I made it even worse. I could have been helping you--hell, I should have been helping you. You never should have had to deal with this alone. I just…I can’t believe it. I can’t believe we were so dumb,” Jamie muttered, burying his face in Craig’s hair.

  “Join the party. It’s my fault, not yours. You don’t even have to pay any of the fees for the procedure. I’ll just have it taken care of and--,” Craig paused, cut off as Jamie gripped him by the chin.

  “Wait. Wait. We need to talk this out. We need to actually talk about this…the fact that you’re carrying my pup. I don’t want to be some idiot bystander while you take control of this entire situation. You…y-you said you wanted to have my pup. How can you even begin to consider throwing that away?” Jamie demanded.

  “Jamie, I swear to God, if this is just one of your stupid ploys to keep your paws on me, save it. As much as I want to be a father, neither of us are ready for that responsibility. When my dad finds out, I’ll be homeless, and in a matter of time, I won’t be able to work anymore. You…You have nothing to offer. It’d be different if you had some kind of life plan beside pranks and arson, but you don’t. You’re not ready for something of this magnitude,” Craig said softly. Jamie’s eyes narrowed, and tears of his own began to leak from his eyes. He released Craig, pushing way as if he’d been burned.

  “You don’t know what I want! You don’t know what I’m ready for, or what I’m not prepared to handle! You won’t even give me a chance! You won’t give me a choice. You’re so selfish! You accuse me of being selfish, but you’re the one who plans to kill my child--planned to do so without even telling me!” Jamie screamed, spittle flecking on Craig’s face. The omega grimaced, and as much as he hated to admit it, the alpha had a point. He hadn’t given Jamie a choice, a chance, even the opportunity to know he could be a father. Craig had been so swept up in the idea of keeping the burden off the alpha male that he had thrown the other’s feelings to the wayside for the sake of convenience. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to Jamie--hell, it wasn’t fair to either of them. Raising his hand to look at the test-- to confirm to himself that it was actually true, he steeled his gaze as he looked into Jamie’s eyes. The alpha looked wild, almost feral. Craig had never expected him to care so much about the concept of having children, but perhaps he had never known Jamie as much as he thought he had. The horrible part about the whole situation was that he felt as if he were only falling harder and deeper for the other man.

  “Alright, Jim Jam. You wanna talk? Let’s talk.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Jamie allowed himself to be guided out of the bathroom by the omega male, his body tense and his mind swirling with anger. He couldn’t understand how he had gone so wrong in his life. He knew he was a screw up, but he’d never expected something like this to happen. He truly thought that Craig felt as if he could confide in him--he’d never been a great friend, but it was a thought he had always liked to entertain at the very least. He supposed
he hadn’t realized how much of a failure he truly was. His heart twisted in pain, and he nearly stumbled as he was guided by his friend--were they even friends anymore? The alpha wanted to ask, but at the same time, he didn’t want to seem as pathetic as he truly was. If he could at least wear a mask of casual carelessness and debonair, maybe he could salvage the situation. Craig was the only person he had ever taken the mask off around, but that was no longer an option. He’d ruined the omega’s life, and that was something he could never take back. He could never ask the man he loved to even…to even care anymore. The fact that Craig was willing to talk to him was more than he expected, but he was almost certain it would only be to ream him out. He deserved it, after all. He deserved all the vitriol Craig could spit, and more.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered quietly, allowing himself to be led to the bed. Craig made a noncommittal sound which Jamie took as incentive to continue. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, turning to face the omega. Craig was worrying his lip between his teeth, a nervous habit that Jamie had always found rather endearing--how many times had he seen the very action? Was he that good at making people uncomfortable? He seemed to especially excel at making Craig uncomfortable, but maybe that was what happened when one cared so much more than they should.

  “I should apologize. You deserved to know, at least,” Craig offered, sitting beside Jamie on the mattress with sheets that still vaguely carried his scent. The alpha tensed, gritting his teeth against the whirlwind of emotions circling in his chest. “I just didn’t want to burden you with the whole thing. You’ve always been pretty clear that you don’t want anything serious. I figured becoming a dad was as serious as it got. So… yeah. I guess I’m just making excuses here, but I am sorry,” the omega murmured, wrapping his arms around himself. As much as Jamie longed to reach out to him, the alpha managed to refrain. He wasn’t sure where they stood exactly, but he knew it couldn’t be anywhere good. Grabbing the pregnant man up for a hug would probably be pushing too far, too fast. Still, he couldn’t ignore the ache in his chest as Craig seemed to struggle with his own emotions.

  “I… I just wish you felt like you could come to me. I’d never thought about being a dad--it was never on the table. As much as I’d like to say I would have handled it more smoothly than this…,” Jamie breathed a sigh as he paused, pressing his hand to his chest. He could feel his own heartbeat hammering under his skin, beneath the protection of his ribs. The alpha wanted nothing more than to reach inside and rip the traitorous muscle out, stomp it underfoot, and curse it for putting him in such an awkward situation. It could have been anyone else that he knocked up. It could have been anyone, but it was the one person he actually cared about. In another world, that might have been a good thing. In his world, it was a conduit of misery. As much as he couldn’t fathom being a father, he didn’t even want to consider throwing what they had away. A piece of himself and Craig, formed into one tiny being--how could he ever want to get rid of that? “You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s my fault for putting you in this situation. Everything’s my fault. All I ever manage to do is screw things up,” Jamie muttered, his voice hitching. He felt a warm pressure on his hand, looking down to see Craig gently gripping it in his own. Tears spilled down Jamie’s cheeks, but he managed to smother the sobs that were dying to creep out.

  “You’re not…you’re not just some screw up, Jim Jam. You’re so much more than that. You know I would never think of you in that way. Even when…even when you turned your back on me, I could only think of how badly I missed you. I was angry for a while, but…we both messed up this situation. It doesn’t fall solely on your shoulders,” Craig said soothingly. More than anything, Jamie wanted to accept his words as gospel; he wanted to believe that Craig could actually forgive how horribly he had messed things up. What a strange world it was that the omega could even think of him as anything more than scum on the bottom of his shoe. He didn’t deserve the forgiveness, and he certainly didn’t deserve to have his hand gripped by the man he loved. He didn’t deserve the thrilled pounding of his heart; he didn’t deserve any of this. If he had just been up front with Craig about how he felt, maybe it all could have been avoided. Was admitting that he loved the omega such an awful prospect? After the fact, it didn’t really seem like a terrible idea, but he had always been so sure that he was meant to be alone. He had been so certain that no one could ever love him for all his damage, his shortcomings, his baggage. He couldn’t even find it in him to love himself. How could anyone else tolerate his feelings?

  “After everything I’ve put you through…how can you be so forgiving? I’ve done nothing but mess things up for you,” Jamie began, trying to articulate his feelings into words without expressing just how much loathing he felt for himself. “I… it would have been so much easier. I could have made things easier for both of us. I got caught up in my feelings, and I let you get close--too close. Closer than I’ve ever let anyone else manage,” Jamie whispered. Craig tilted his head, his eyes shining with sadness and what almost looked like…hope? But certainly that couldn’t be.

  “What do you mean, your feelings? You’ve always been open with how you feel, Jamie. I’ve never had any doubt of where I stand--where our relationship stands. It’s part of the reason I kept this whole thing from you, but that was a misstep on my part--” the omega began, cut short as Jamie gripped him by the shoulders and gave him a slight shake.

  “It’s just that! You think you know where you stand. You think you know how I feel about you, and that’s what made all of this so convoluted and screwed up,” Jamie hissed. His heart hammered in his chest, and every voice in his head screamed for him just to throw caution to the wind and confess his feelings. He knew it was potentially the worst thing he could do, given the circumstances, but he was so tired of hiding. The alpha was well aware that there was a significant chance that his confession would send Crag running, and while he wasn’t prepared to lose his friend altogether, he couldn’t afford to keep his feelings inside anymore. “Craig… I feel so much more than I’ve ever been able to express. Not just with you, but anyone. You’re the only one who tried to stay by my side, even as worthless as I am. With all my idiot plans, you put up with me all the same. I guess it’s no wonder that… that...,” Jamie cut himself off, a sob pulling itself free of him. He had managed to stuff it down for so long, but he couldn’t last any longer.

  “Jim Jam, you can tell me anything. I should have been more forthcoming, and that’s on me, but please…I just want you to know that I’m here. That I’ll always be here,” Craig murmured. Jamie hesitated only a moment longer before tangling a hand in the omega’s hair and pulling him in for a bruising kiss. He could taste the salt of Craig’s tears as well as his own, and though it wasn’t the best of situations, he couldn’t begin to fathom how wonderful it felt to have those lips upon his own once more. He almost didn’t care that Craig was as stiff as a board, his mouth slack as Jamie slipped his tongue between his lips. Then, Craig began to return the embrace. The omega’s lips worked against Jamie’s, slowly at first but with increasing fervor. The alpha’s breath was coming in soft gasps each time he drew away, pulling in a lungful of air before diving right back in. The tears continued to fall, God, did they fall, but for a brief moment, Jamie actually felt worthy of the man in his arms. It was a short-lived feeling, but he embraced it for all its worth as he pulled the slightly chubbier man onto his lap, resting his hand on Craig’s hips and kissing a pattern down his neck. Craig groaned softly, and Jamie fought to bite back his own desperate cry as the omega’s length began to harden against him. This was the man he loved. This was what he had craved for so long, what he’d always dreamed of. He hadn’t known that he wanted it, but he knew that his love was the one thing fueling him in that moment. There was the matter of whether Craig would slip free and disappear from his life--less a matter of if, than a matter of when. He ghosted his lips to Craig’s ear, his breathy pants punctuating each word he tried to get out.

  “I
love you. I’ve loved you for so long. I know I’m nothing compared to you, and as much as I’ve dreamed of it, I know I’d never be worthy of being your mate. I prayed, Craig, I’ve actually prayed over you,” his body shuddered as the omega drew away slightly, his eyes wide and dilated.

  “Jamie…,” Craig murmured, reaching out to touch his cheek. The alpha nearly doubled over as his tears seemed to come in even more of a rush.

  “I know you deserve so much better. You deserve someone who didn’t have to put you through the ringer before admitting they loved you. You deserve the world. I would give you the world, if it were mine to give. You’re everything to me. The thought that you want to destroy this tiny life…this being borne of both of us…it makes me want to scream. But I would follow you through the process, should you have me. I’d do anything to make you realize how wonderful you are. I’ll always love you. Nothing will ever change that,” Jamie rambled, his voice cracking. Craig drew him in for a hug, peppering kisses along his jawline and cheeks.

  “Jamie,” he repeated, a bit more urgently. However, Jamie wasn’t content to let the conversation hang in the air.

  “I know you could never love me back. It’s something I’ve come to terms with. I came to terms with it years ago when I first…when I first realized. I knew I would fall for you from the moment I laid eyes on you, but I knew it would never work. You’re beautiful, and I’m just garbage--” Jamie continued, cutting himself short with a squeak when teeth found his pulse point. His entire body went lax, and he uttered a low moan of utter pleasure. “You even know my sweet spots,” he breathed, resting a hand on the back of Craig’s head.