Chapter Four
My heart is pounding in my chest. I'm panicking at the thought of Zane calling, Emerson seeing his gorgeous face on my screen, and more people learning about us. Because if she finds out, it's not a tryst anymore. It's not a secret. We've lost the privacy aspect.
And I'm not willing to lose that just yet.
Not until Hunter knows.
He deserves to be in the loop before anyone else. Zane is his friend. If Emerson finds out, she'll tell Ryder. Ryder will more than likely tell Tyler, and Tyler doesn't keep secrets, so he'll immediately tell Hunter.
Zane needs to be the one to tell him.
Hell, it would even be better coming from me at this point. Although, he may rip my head off. He'll surely fire me for disobeying him even though his 'orders' didn't pertain to work directly.
Not to mention, going public makes things real. I'd have to confess how I feel about him not only to other people but to myself. I'm not ready to do that. I don't know how I feel yet.
Sure, I like him. He's fun to be around. Funny. The sex is amazing.
Things are scorching between us right now, but I think that has a lot to do with the fact that we're sneaking around. It adds an element to our relationship we'll lose once we go public.
Sneaking kisses. Hiding away in my apartment. Spending all our time alone, just the two of us, getting to know each other in ways I've never wanted to know someone.
It's stupid shit, mostly.
He hates peas, colored socks, and wearing a tie. The great love of his life is baseball. He was going to play in college but tore a tendon in his leg his senior year of high school and stopped playing after that.
He went to school for business but loves to travel, so he smashed those two things together and opened a travel agency in Miami. Being his own boss means no wearing a tie if he doesn't want to.
His pet peeve is when people leave the shower curtain open. Or when you leave dishes in the sink overnight and food gets crusted on them so you have to scrub it off. I'm not only guilty of both I wasn't even aware I did those things until he pointed them out.
I've loaded my dishwasher every night since then. It's amazing how much cleaner they turn out when you rinse and wash them right away. Who knew?
We're learning a lot about each other trapped in my apartment. It's like dating, but different. There's no yelling over loud music, only getting part of the story. No interruptions from the waitress trying to sell you another drink.
And, most of the time, there's no clothes either. They've become optional in my apartment. As in we opt not to wear them since they're just going to end up on the floor eventually. Why dirty clothes if you only plan to wear them for a few hours?
When my phone stops ringing and I notice that Emerson has answered it, my heart stops beating in my chest. She's walking this way with a smile on her face.
That's it.
The jig is up.
My secret is out, and there's no turning back after this.
I should run into Hunter's office right now and confess everything to him.
The weeks of sneaking around. How we hooked up in the Bahamas. The fact that we disobeyed his request to stay away from each other. How that 'order' actually pushed us together, made us want each other more.
How happy Zane makes me. The fact that I'd rather lose my job than stop seeing him.
Oh! Where did that thought come from?
"Here," Emerson says, handing me my phone.
"Thanks." I hesitate as I reach for it, my hand shaking as she places it in my palm.
"You okay?"
"Yeah. Fine," I stutter. "Look, if you could not mention this to anyone, I would appreciate it."
"I'm confused. Not mention what?"
"You know," I say, letting my voice trail off.
"I don't think anyone cares that you're on your cell phone, Ally. Are you feeling okay? Did you stand too close to Kimmie? You look like you're about to puke."
Why is she not freaking out? If she was just talking to Zane...
Looking down at my screen, I see part of Justine's face. The other part is covered by her middle finger as she flips me off. It's my favorite picture of her. She was completely tanked and refused to let me take a picture of her.
"I'm fine, really. Thanks again."
Emerson gives me a skeptical look but shrugs and walks away.
"Where the hell have you been?" I whisper-yell into the phone.
"Well, hello to you too," she replies, laughter filling her voice.
"Seriously, Justine. You had me worried."
"I'm sorry. Really, I am. We forgot our phone chargers at home."
"Have you ever heard of a store?"
"We didn't want to be bothered. It's no big deal. I'm alive. I'm home. I'll be back at work tomorrow."
No big deal, huh?
In my experience, whenever someone uses that phrase, something big is going on. They're brushing things off and then attempt to change the direction of the conversation.
"So how was your weekend?" she asks.
Check and mate.
"What's going on? And don't try and tell me nothing because I know you better than that. You're hiding something." My accusation is met with silence. I can hear voices in the background, but she must have her hand over the speaker because I can't make out what she's saying through the static. "Fess up or I'm coming over."
"Wait. Don't come over. I'm not at home; I'm at Devon's. I promise to tell you everything Friday night. At dinner. We're going to have everyone over to the house for a barbecue. Okay?"
"Why can't you just tell me now?"
"Because. We're planning on getting everyone together anyway so we only have to tell the story once."
This isn't just news. This is big news.
I have a few guesses. Either their engaged or pregnant, though the latter would be my first guess. I can't imagine they're engaged. It hasn't even been a year. I'll still be sure to sneak a peek at her left hand when I see her tomorrow.
They haven't even moved in together yet. If she's knocked up, that would have to happen first. Whatever is going on with them, it sounds like it makes her happy, and in the end, that's all that matters.
"Fine, but I feel like as your best friend, I should be the first to know whatever it is you two are hiding."
Justine laughs, whispers something, and then laughs again.
Clearing my throat to get her attention, she apologizes and cuts our call short.
Staring at my phone, I try to process what just happened. I try to make sense of her demeanor, of the way she was tiptoeing around telling me anything. This better be good or I'm going to be irritated she's making me wait.
My phone lights up with a waiting text from Zane. Thank God it's still not sitting on Helen's desk. We barely avoided Emerson finding out about us once. We won't be as lucky next time.
Shit!
Friday night. Justine's house. I'm supposed to be going to Miami this weekend.
ZANE: Tried to call you.
ME: Getting my ass kicked today. Everyone is out sick. Need to talk to you about this weekend. Can I call you when I get out of here?
ZANE: Only if you're not canceling on me.
ME: Any chance I can come down Saturday morning or you can come up here instead? I know that wasn't the plan, but Justine sprung a BBQ on me just now, and if I don't show up, everyone will speculate. We don't want that.
ZANE: Can't you say you have plans and can't make it?
ME: Not really. She'll want to know why.
ZANE: So tell her the truth. She's one of your best friends. We don't have to keep this a secret from everyone, do we?
ME: Until Hunter knows YES!
ZANE: You realize that, after I tell him, things won't change, right? I'm still going to want to see you, no matter how he feels about it.
Oh, thank God!
ME: Yes, but things will change around here. I can't imagine he's going to be happy with me. Do you think he
'll fire me?
ZANE: No. He can't. That would be against the law, and that's not really how he is.
Against the law? I can work with that.
ME: Okay, I'm going to call you when I get out and we can talk about this more. Until then, work on a plan to tell him.
ZANE: And think about you naked?
ME: If you must...
ZANE: I don't think I could stop myself if I tried.
ME: You flatter me.
ZANE: Well, I do like what I see. Especially when I'm looking in your eyes as I
"Hey," Ryder says from behind me, startling me and causing me to drop my phone in my lap before I can read the rest of Zane's naughty text.
And this is why sexting at work is dangerous. Anyone can walk up behind you and see what you're doing if you're not careful.
"Yeah. What's up?" Folding my hands over my phone to make sure the screen is covered, I do the best I can to act innocent of any wrongdoings. I'm sweating, though, and the AC has been running all morning. It's actually a bit chilly in here.
"Have you finished updating my calendar yet?"
"I just started."
"I need that ASAP. I just received an email from a prospective client I'd like to meet with this week, but I don't know what I have available."
You can hear the irritation in Ryder's voice as he stares at my phone. It makes me wonder how long he was behind me before he announced his presence or if he saw who I was texting with or read the texts.
"I'll get on it right now. You should be able to see it on your calendar in thirty minutes," I reply quickly, turning to face my computer and pulling up his calendar.
He doesn't reply, and when I look over my shoulder, he's gone.
Snagging a quick peek at the rest of Zane's text, I'm praying that Ryder didn't see anything.
ZANE: Well, I do like what I see. Especially when I'm looking in your eyes as I slide deep inside you. Your mouth drops open ever so slightly, a little huff of breath escaping as I fill you completely. Followed by a deep moan that grows louder as I bring you closer and closer to the edge of falling.
Holy hell!
How am I supposed to concentrate on work after reading that? I'm squeezing my thighs together, concentrating on my breathing, but there's nothing I can do about the need growing deep inside me as I picture the mirrored look on his face.
The array of emotions on his face, the concentration as he attempts to hold back for another minute, until I fall completely. It's my second favorite look he gets. My first is the sinister grin he shoots me before he even touches me. It’s filled with so many promises that I know he's going to keep.
ME: No more sexting. I need to focus on work, and you're making that hard right now.
Turning my phone face down, I begin adding to Ryder's calendar when my phone chimes. I'm afraid to read his response, but after only a few seconds, I give up on the little bit of self-control I have let when it comes to Zane.
ZANE: Want to know what else is hard?
I'm so screwed. I might as well grab a megaphone and announce to the entire office that I'm seeing Zane. That he's turning my stone-cold heart into a puddle of mush at his feet. That he found a way to get in my pants and my heart.
Two things only one other person has ever done.
My pants are hard to get into. I refuse to spread my legs for just anyone. But my heart is another story.
I've built a brick wall around it. Reinforced that wall with steel. I image there's a moat with alligators or something protecting it as well. All precautions have been taken to make sure it can withstand any type of intruder.
It takes a crazy man to accept the challenge. A brave man to get past the moat. More importantly, a strong man to break through the barriers.
Zane is all three.
Crazy enough to want me. Brave enough to try. Strong enough to fight for me.
He's everything I've been looking for all this time. He just happened to show up when I least expected it. Isn't that how people say it usually happens?
Chapter Five
It took a lot to regain my focus after Zane's last text, but I managed to at least finish Ryder's calendar before he chewed me out. That checked one thing off my to-do list. Only a dozen or so things left.
It was after six when I finally left the office in search of food. I was able to accomplish more than I expected, staying focused on each task as my phone chimed in my purse, attempting to distract me.
A quick stop at the market for a bottle of wine and I walk through my front door as my phone begins to ring. Setting everything down on the counter and preheating the oven, I ignore it for a minute while I heat up my leftovers from last night.
Zane is going to have to wait. He's not going to want to talk to me right now anyway. I'm exhausted and hungry, a combination that makes me irritable.
Not at him, at the way the day went.
His sexting is the only thing that saved me from going insane, even as distracting as it was.
Pouring myself a tall glass of wine, I slip the leftover meatloaf in the oven and settle in to wait. Reaching for my phone, I read through Zane's texts from this afternoon before calling him back.
ZANE: TMI?
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