Goddamned Freaky Monsters (The Tome of Bill Book 5)

by Rick Gualtieri

  “No,” she replied with a hollow voice. “I don’t know where they are. The master did not allow it.”

  “The master?” Ed asked.

  I turned toward Sally with a smug grin. “See, I told you...compelled.” I then addressed Firebird again. “Where is this master?”

  “Not here. He’s gone elsewhere to seek his army. He fears he is not yet strong enough to take this facility. He released me first, though, to deliver a message.”

  “What message?”

  “A message for the ears of the First.”.

  “We need to go find James,” I said.

  Sally just sighed and replied, “No shit, Sherlock.”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Sally led the way and I followed, making it a point to stay between her and Firebird. We decided it was safer to seek out Calibra first rather than disturb James. Also, neither of us had any idea where his chambers were located in the complex.

  “You could have left that in the lounge,” I said, indicating the duffle bag which seemed to have become a permanent fixture on Sally’s arm.

  “All of our party favors are in it.”

  “I seriously doubt we’re going to need to shoot James.”

  “It’s not James I’m worried about.”

  I was about to respond when Ed nudged me from behind. I turned to find we’d attracted an entourage. Several of the office drones had dropped what they were doing and were following us.

  “How...” I started, but Sally shushed me.

  “I have a feeling we’re about to find out.”

  The double doors leading toward the Prefect’s wing were just ahead of us. This was the one area of the place I’d seen that lived up to its reputation - the office motif giving way to an obsidian cavern. It housed a waiting area, as well as the office of the vampire in charge of the Northeast - Calibra, at the moment.

  Sally turned toward me just a split second before I caught the scents in the air - a lot of them. In this crowded den of the undead, it was nearly impossible for me to tell who they belonged to by smell alone - especially with Ed hovering so near. Sadly, the lounge hadn’t included shower facilities, just a couple of packs of wet wipes.

  “You’re smelling it, too?” I asked her.

  “Uh huh. Either Calibra is hosting a really large staff meeting, or we’re about to be royally fucked.”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  The first thing that caught my eye upon pushing open the doors was the flash of light at the far end. I was familiar with it, having seen it more times than I cared to - a vampire had just gotten dusted.

  The second thing I noticed was all the semi-familiar faces in the room. I didn’t know them personally, but I’d met some briefly in the office - the new recruits from Village Coven.

  They weren’t the only ones, either. Judging by the street dress of some in attendance, we’d found the missing HBC vamps as well. More disturbing, though, were the vampires standing guard at the periphery. Many of them were dressed in what looked to be riot gear, silver stakes at the ready. I hadn’t seen any of them before, but if I had to guess, I’d say that they were part of the strike teams James had mentioned.

  I continued scanning the crowd and realized something else: those in attendance displayed a mix of expressions - some clear-eyed, while others were glazed and vacant. Many were apparently still under compulsion, but there were a good deal that appeared to be there of their own volition.

  “What the hell’s happening?” I asked nobody in particular.

  “I’d say that’s what’s happening.” Sally pointed straight ahead. “Is that the guy who has everyone so frazzled?”

  It was. Chuck sat at the far end - lounging in an office chair, but making it seem like some sort of throne. His back was against the doors leading into Calibra’s office. He’d once more changed outfits. Gone was the mismatched kilt, and in its place was a pair of black tactical pants matching that of the guards - no doubt appropriated from some unlucky vamp. He was still shirtless, though, his tattoos standing out in stark contrast to his bronzed skin. A part of me couldn’t blame him. If I had a physique like that, I’d probably toss all my shirts into the wastebasket as well.

  He gave us no notice as we entered. Instead, he casually motioned with one hand and two of the compelled vampires stepped forward to stand in front of him.

  I saw the barest furrow of his brow and the two vamps staggered for a moment, shaking their heads as if coming out of a daze. They’d been set free.

  The big goon addressed them in whatever gibberish Latin he spoke. I didn’t understand the words, but it was obviously a question. Maybe he was wondering what they thought of his bitchin tats.

  Rather than answer, the two vamps looked around, as if seeking help - their eyes landing upon us.

  “Freewill?” one of them asked, obviously recognizing me. “Save us!”

  Unfortunately, that wasn’t to be. The big guy made a disgusted “Feh!” sound. At this, four of the armored vamps stepped from the sidelines and staked them both without warning. Two brief flashes later, and they were nothing but ashes on the ground - joining what I now realized were several other piles lying about.

  I needed to do something, but was rooted to the spot, with no clue how to proceed. Where the hell was James or Calibra? Without them, there wasn’t any...

  I let out a sigh, realizing I was a fool to expect anything else.

  Without them there, I was pretty much on my own.

  What a surprise.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Well, not entirely on my own. I had my friends with me, but forgive my pessimism for not believing they were exactly going to tip the odds in our favor. Then I remembered that part of this crowd was made up of Village Coven vamps. Most of them were newbs, but there was the old proverb about safety in numbers.

  I quickly scanned the crowd as our host finally seemed to notice us for the first time. He made a come-hither gesture, to which I was about to reply with my own one-fingered salute, but his motion wasn’t directed at me.

  Firebird stepped past us and began walking forward.

  I hoped this guy couldn’t understand English yet. “Firebird,” I hissed, “if you’re still in there, just do what he wants. Save yourself and we’ll figure out...”

  She stopped mid-step and glanced over her shoulder at me. Gone was the vacant look that had been on her face. Her eyes were clear and the smile on her face predatory.

  “I already did,” she purred. “He released me hours ago.”

  “He did?”

  “Told you! You should’ve let me kill her,” Sally grumbled.

  Firebird continued on her way. She reached the shirtless vamp and knelt by his side, wrapping one arm around his leg. The way he stroked her hair as she did so suddenly spoke volumes about the disheveled state of her clothes. Oh crap.

  “You should have listened to little Lucinda, Bill,” she said, leaning her head down upon his knee like some sort of rock star groupie on a bad eighties hair band cover.

  Wait just a second...

  I turned toward Sally and opened my mouth, but she cut me off. “Really? You want to do this now?”

  “Yeah, good point...Lucinda.” I couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle, earning a glare of death from her. Sadly, my grin wasn’t long lived.

  Sally took a step forward, her posture saying she was rapidly falling out of the mood to talk. “Where’s Starlight, bitch?”

  “Poor little Alice. The master released us both at the same time. Alas, she chose poorly.”

  “Poorly?”

  Firebird stretched one hand forward and waved at the various heaps of ash on the floor.

  Oh no!

  The implication hit me like a freight train. Starlight had been a gentle soul amongst vamps - almost a mother hen. She’d paid for it by being constantly used by the more manipulative elements of the vampire world. Yet in the end, she’d managed to do all right by herself - having achieved mastery of Village Coven.

  And now
this was her reward? I couldn’t believe it.

  Neither could Sally, apparently. A look of utter shock appeared on her face and I finally realized that, for all of the times she’d coerced Star into being her personal secretary, she nevertheless considered her a friend.

  The thing with friends is that if you have one like Sally, you can be sure as shit they’re gonna take exception to others mistreating you. And if, God forbid, something happens to you - you will be avenged.

  With a blur of movement, Sally reached into her duffle bag and produced her Desert Eagle.

  The time for talking was over.

  Meet the New Boss

  One of the problems in dealing with vampires is that the older they get, the more powerful they are. This includes strength, healing, and speed. Sally, for all of her attitude, was still relatively young. To me, it looked as if she had reacted like lightning. To an elder, though, it would barely be slow motion.

  Before she could even aim the massive weapon, two of the riot crew had converged upon her - one forcing the barrel of the gun down and the other striking her in the side of the head.

  That was enough for me. First, there was the anger at knowing this asshole had casually dusted one of the few vampires who’d somehow managed to retain her human heart. Now, it was watching Sally struck down by creatures that were supposed to be on our side.

  Within moments, I was seeing red, and when that happened, I tended to forget my own limitations and dive into the fray.

  “Bill?” Ed asked from my side, but I ignored him.

  These fuckers were going to learn that you didn’t mess with the Freewill’s friends.

  “Enough!”

  Authority and gravitas resonated in the voice, so much that nearly all action in the room, my own included, ceased as our attention turned toward its source.

  Ed and I spun to find James. He’d entered through the double doors, flanked on either side by more of those strike-team vamps. Unfortunately, they were all pointing their weapons at him. He was their prisoner, although from the tone of his voice, he hadn’t come to that conclusion yet.

  “This ends now.” He blinked and his eyes turned black as onyx.

  “Primoris,” a deep voice chuckled from the opposite end. I looked over my shoulder to find that Chuck had risen, a grin upon his face.

  Oh, boy. It was the irresistible force on one side and the immovable object on the other...and looky here, me and my friends right smack dab in between them. Not quite where I wanted to be.

  “I take it you didn’t get to make your call.”

  “Not now, Dr. Death,” James warned, never taking his eyes off the cultist.

  All of the other vamps in the room had cleared the aisle, including the assholes who’d cold-cocked Sally. I used the opening to step forward and help her to her feet, praying that the Mexican standoff didn’t break before we got a chance to move out of the way.

  “You okay?”

  “I’m fine,” she replied, brushing me off. “That guy hits like a pussy.”

  “Yeah, well, we’re standing between two badass mofos who I’m pretty sure hit like freight trains, so I’d suggest you move your tight little ass.”

  I half dragged her to the side with me, briefly looking to make sure any vamps still under Chuck’s spell weren’t about to shank us in the rear.

  I was about to turn back toward the main event when my eyes settled upon a familiar face. “Dave!”

  My former, and hopefully future, DM stood there, eyes completely glazed. Apparently, he hadn’t yet been called up for whatever test the Glenn Danzig lookalike had put the other vamps through.

  Remembering my experience with compulsions from when I was first turned, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to see if things still worked the same when a much older vamp was the one putting the whammy on another.

  So as all eyes were turned, some voluntarily while others not so much, toward the two big dogs in the arena, I hauled off and backhanded my friend across the mouth. The blow made a resounding crack loud enough to put the spotlight back on me, which was exactly what I was hoping to avoid.

  One moment, James and Chuck were about to throw down, the fate of all vamps in the Northeast on the line. The next, they were all looking directly at me.

  “Uh...I suppose you’re wondering why I asked you all here today.”

  A voice behind me muttered a muffled curse. “Goddamnit, Bill. You broke my fucking mouth.”

  Hey, at least it worked. “Ixnay on the uckingfay outhmay, Dave,” I whispered through clenched teeth.

  A deep chuckle issued forth from Chuck’s barrel chest. He once more spoke some of his gobbledygook. Whatever profound observation he made was lost in the translation. I did happen to catch that father word again, though. Oh, Jesus Christ, were we back to that bullshit?

  “For the last time, you fucking retard, I’m not your father!” If I didn’t have the room’s attention before, I sure as shit did now.

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Sally asked.

  “This dipshit keeps calling me his dad.”

  “No, he didn’t.”

  “Yeah. He keeps saying it like he’s some kind of goddamned lost puppy who...”

  “You do realize,” Dave said from behind me, “that frater is Latin for brother, right?”

  “It is?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Even I know that,” Ed added.

  “Oh.” The looks from those around me, the non-glazed eyes at least, were a mix of humor and pity. Jeez. I took two years of remedial Spanish in high school, the bare minimum to graduate. It’s not like I was some sort of cunning linguist.

  “Fine, but last time I checked, I was an only child. Unless Mom was off banging a Swiss bodybuilder when I...”

  “Move now!”

  It was James. As the entire room focused on me and my language deficiencies, he’d made good use of the distraction.

  He spun like a miniature tornado. Within the space of a second, several flashes of light erupted as all of the vampires guarding him were reduced to piles of ash. The look on his face when he was finished told a pained story - he did what needed to be done, but hadn’t liked it. Who could blame him? All of the vamps present were supposed to be both loyal to the Draculas and impervious to control. From the look of things, both concepts had been proven to be complete fantasy.

  All of that could wait, though.

  For now, we had a room full of confused monsters and an open path toward the exit.

  “You thinking what I’m thinking?” Ed asked.

  “Yep. The bus is about to leave. Let’s be on it.”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Ed, Sally, and I had been through the shit-wringer enough times to know that when an opportunity presented itself, you didn’t spend time gawking. Dave, being fairly new to the game and having just awoken from having his brain scrambled, was likely not to take the hint.

  When I ran for it, I made a point to drag him along for the ride. Sure, he was a bit of a loose cannon, had nearly negligible ethics, and was more often than not an asshole, but he was also my buddy and one of the best game masters I’d ever known. I’d already lost one friend this day. I wasn’t about to leave another behind to be judged like cattle.

  The five of us made it out the doors before any of the vamps inside could react - albeit Chuck hadn’t seemed in all that big of a hurry. James slammed them shut behind us and fumbled with a section of the wall.

  Forgetting all sense of rank or respect, I spun and asked, “What are you doing? Those assholes are gonna be right on our...”

  He pried away the wall panel, revealing a hidden keyboard beneath. A lightning fast press of buttons later, and a steel wall slid down from the ceiling, barring the doors to the Prefect’s lair. Okay, that was kinda cool.

  James continued pressing keys. Red emergency bulbs replaced the dim interior lighting. Klaxons began to sound throughout the floor we were on and seemingly beyond.

  “What the?”

&
nbsp; “Emergency lockdown,” he replied grimly. “Let’s move. We have thirty seconds before the entire facility is sealed tight enough to withstand a missile assault.”

  Whoa.

  James wasn’t fucking around, either. He must have realized who our weak link was because next, he grabbed Ed and flung him over his shoulder, much to my roommate’s protests. I spared him maybe half a second of smirk before I turned to Dave.

  “Don’t ask questions. Just think of this as a real life game of Paranoia and the computer just told us to bug the fuck out now.” I didn’t know Latin for shit, but I could sure as fuck speak gamer.

  That was good because those were all the words I could spare. James and Sally were already at the far end of the hall.

  It was time for us to put all of our vampire speed to bear and hope it was enough.

  Title Fight

  We made it outside with plenty of time to spare, and by plenty, I mean Dave and I dove through the front entrance of the car wash just as a blast door rose up from the ground to seal it shut. Another half second and he would have gotten a really good primer in vampire healing as we’d both have had to wait for our legs to grow back.

  Once out, James lowered Ed to the ground, then turned to Sally and me. “Calibra, did you see her?”

  “No,” I replied, catching my breath. I hadn’t realized the main office complex was so deep underground. “But considering where Funboy there was seated, it’s safe to say they were already waiting for her by the time she got there.”

  “Do you think they killed her?” Sally asked.

  “That I cannot say,” James replied. “The truth, though, is that it would be in our best interest if they had.”

  “Really?” I was a bit surprised at that. He’d seemed somewhat fond of her. To dismiss her as casually as...

  “There is a similar panel on the other side of that door,” he explained. “Calibra is one of the few others in the facility who can singlehandedly deactivate those security measures I put into place.”

  “Oh...well, in that case, I hope they shanked her too.”

  “I do not understand how he was able to take control of the facility like that,” he continued, ignoring my assholish comment. “But the fact remains that he did. As Prefect, Calibra’s mind is stronger than the others, her training more complete. Even so, if that creature is able to breach those defenses as he somehow did the others, then I fear many of our secrets will be laid bare. He will have intelligence at his disposal far beyond what even our ancient foes, the Alma, will have ascertained.”