Taming the Beast

by Andrew Grey

  Dante closed his eyes and sighed softly without moving. “So are you.”

  “No, I’m not. I know I’m rather plain-looking and not all that special. I don’t have your chiseled jawline or….” Beau pulled his hand away and rested it on his lap. “I’m not handsome and I never will be.”

  Dante leaned closer. “How about you let me decide what you are.”

  The hint of growl in his voice went right down Beau’s spine, settled in his groin, and took root in the most energetic and erotic way. Beau shifted for comfort and wished he dared reposition himself. He stretched his leg out, grateful for the space provided.

  “You don’t understand,” Beau said softly.

  “About what?” Dante stroked Beau’s cheek. “I think you’re handsome and kind of cute.” Dante smiled again. Beau was about to protest the cute remark, but Dante ran his thumb over his lower lip, and his protest died there.

  Dante leaned forward, bringing their lips together, and Beau’s brain short-circuited. The touch was light and gentle at first, but as Beau put his arms around Dante’s neck, the kiss heated and Dante’s weight against him increased, pressing him back.

  The fire between them flared white-hot, and Beau tried to control it but lost. Dante cupped Beau’s head in his hand and took possession of him. Beau capitulated in seconds, giving Dante whatever he asked for because it was exactly what Beau wanted as well. Dante tasted of mint and man mixed in heady proportions. It was all Beau could have asked for. He leaned back under Dante’s weight and lay on the seat, looking up into Dante’s passion-darkened eyes. Beau was blown away. Never in his life had anyone looked at him that way… with enough heat to melt steel. Speaking of steel, that’s what pressed against the front of Beau’s pants, desperate for release, and Beau felt an answering rod against his for a few seconds.

  Dante pulled him closer, kissing harder. The leather of the seat cradled his body, the car rocking slightly as it traveled over the road. Not that Beau felt much of anything other than the pounding of his heart. He pulled back, taking in the intensity in Dante’s eyes. He wanted Beau. There was no doubt of that, not for a second. Beau groaned under his breath at the warmth in Dante’s gaze.

  “You taste like passion,” Dante told him in a whisper that rumbled through Beau’s brain like a freight train. “I want more of you… I want—”

  Beau closed his eyes and the distance between them. He had to cut off Dante’s words, and that was the only way to do it fast enough. His mind grew so clouded, he barely registered Dante undoing the buttons of his shirt. But as soon as Dante’s hand pressed to his chest, Beau grew still, clamping his eyes closed.

  “What happened to you?” Dante asked as he pulled away.

  Beau didn’t dare open his eyes or he’d see the pity and disgust on Dante’s face, and that was something he couldn’t stand. Not after what he’d just felt.

  “Beau….” Dante held his shirt, but Beau pulled away, doing up the buttons as quickly as he could.

  “I know it isn’t pretty.” Beau opened his eyes and sat back up, cursing himself for ever letting any of this happen. He liked Dante and found him… so many things. Hell, he was attracted to him, but that attraction had blinded him to the facts he hid under his clothing each and every day. There was a reason he only ever opened the top button on his shirts and never wore V-neck T-shirts or tank tops.

  “What happened to you?” Dante asked again.

  “It doesn’t matter. It was a long time ago, and there’s nothing I can do about it.” Beau crossed his arms over his chest to add some additional armor. The ardor of just a minute earlier had evaporated within seconds, and now they were just riding to dinner.

  “It must have been painful.”

  Beau nodded. He always told his clients that holding things inside was never good and only allowed them to fester and grow. Beau had come to terms with what had happened and how he looked a long time ago. At least he liked to tell himself that, but his reaction at Dante’s touch said maybe that wasn’t true. “They thought I was going to die.” His belly did a few little flips and then settled down. “I don’t remember it much. I was thirteen. My dad loved to hunt. It was his passion. He’d dreamed of hunting in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, so he and I got licenses and we went up there for the opening of deer season.” He remembered it like it was yesterday. “I used to love going out with him. The trees and the quiet were enticing. With all the leaves falling, it was one of the best times for me to go outside. I had really bad allergies as a kid. I’ve outgrown a lot of them now.”

  Dante smiled wryly. “The flowers I brought?”

  “I shared them with everyone. I still have some issues.” Beau avoided saying that if he’d left them in his office, he’d have sneezed all day long. “The thing was, that fall, with the cooler weather, was good for me, and so my dad took me with him. We had found a natural blind, right on one of the deer paths. It was perfect and the woods were so beautiful, all filled with the fall colors. We hunted with bow and arrow because that was when Dad could get time off. Not that it mattered. The trip was all about spending time together.”

  “My dad never did things like that with me,” Dante said softly. “He enrolled me in little league, and I played four years. My dad came to three games the entire time. He always said he was busy….”

  “My dad made time for me. At least for a while.” Beau swallowed. “I was up in the tree and had a good spot as a group of deer came by. It was perfect and I lined up the shot. I could see the buck’s neck right at the end of the arrow and was about to let it go when it happened. I couldn’t stop it and began to sneeze. The deer broke into a run and I lost my shot.”

  “I bet you were angry.” Dante met his gaze and held it. “I know I would be.”

  “Yeah, I was, and I climbed down, continually sneezing…. I checked my pockets and remembered my dad had my meds. I went searching for him.” Beau could no longer look at Dante and sat back, staring ahead. “What I didn’t realize was what had really scared the deer. It wasn’t me, but a large black bear. He was interested in filling his belly one more time before winter, and at that moment, I looked like a snack.”

  “Oh God,” Dante whispered.

  “I yelled at the top of my lungs and tried to make myself as big as I could. The bear stood on its hind legs, cried out, and then attacked.” Beau shivered as the car grew arctic cold in seconds. “I remember being clawed and going down to the ground, figuring I was going to die. The pain was so bad, and all I could do was say goodbye in my head and wait for the end to come. I heard shots, and that was all I remember. Dad had a pistol with him, which he apparently emptied into the bear.”

  “Holy crap.”

  “Yeah. Dad did first aid and called for help. I don’t remember a lot of it because I was in and out, but they took me out by helicopter. It’s the only time I ever got to ride in one, and I don’t remember anything about it. I spent months in the hospital. They treated the wounds, which became infected, and it was pretty nasty because it spread. I had to have surgery in order to repair the damage once they cleared out the infection, so….” He looked down. “I’m not pretty and I never will be. I know that.”

  “Beau—”

  “I know who I am, Dante. After the attack, I had amazing people who worked with me to help me accept my limitations. The infection affected my kidneys some, as well as my lungs. I’ll never be able to run a marathon or do heavy, taxing exercise. I have to watch some foods, and I drink in very small amounts. I also don’t go to the beach or run around without a shirt. That’s just the way it is.” Beau shrugged. “The people who helped me accept who I am also made me want to become a counselor so that I could help people.”

  “Why alcohol and drugs?” Dante asked.

  “Because that’s where I was needed, so it’s where I went. I love working with the kids, and there’s very little in life more satisfying than watching as someone figures out their way in life and puts themselves on the path to true happiness. It s
ometimes takes years, and it’s never easy, but when it happens, it’s so gratifying to know that you really helped someone.” The car slowed down, and Beau leaned to peer out the window. “Is this the turnoff?”

  “Probably,” Dante answered, moving closer to him once again. Beau tensed as Dante looked like he was going to kiss him again. “What’s wrong?”

  “You don’t need to feel like you have to do this,” Beau told him. “I know I just told you a lot about what happened to me, but I didn’t do it to make you feel sorry for me.”

  “Has that happened to you before?”

  “Yeah. I had a boyfriend a few years ago. At least I thought he was. We’d dated for a month and things were getting physical, so I told him about myself. He said it didn’t matter, only it did once I took off my shirt. Well… he wasn’t ready. I saw him go pale and then turn away. I let him off the hook and told him I was tired. He took the excuse, and I never heard from him again.”

  “So you expect everyone to act that way?” Dante asked softly, with a hint of confusion.

  “Like I said, I don’t have any illusions that guys are going to ultimately find me attractive, and I can live with that.” Beau had worked through his body issues years ago. He really had made peace with who he was and had figured out some time ago that he wasn’t likely to meet someone who could look past the scarred body. “I basically like who I am and have no delusions about the person I am.”

  “Then if that’s true, why did you ask me out to dinner that afternoon?” Dante’s eyes danced, and Beau felt them probing for some sort of deception.

  “I thought you might need a friend. I didn’t expect anything more… not really. Like I already told you, there was something about you that perplexed me, and not many people do that.” Beau shrugged. “I certainly didn’t anticipate flowers or being whisked away in a limousine for dinner. And quite frankly, I don’t expect anything happening after we eat.” His cheeks heated once again, and he glanced away, looking out the window as they passed through the outskirts of the lovely little fishing and tourist town. “I definitely didn’t anticipate to be kissed within an inch of my life beforehand.”

  “You assume that every man you meet is so shallow that they can’t look past the outside?”

  Dante leaned forward, and Beau felt breath on his neck. He purposely didn’t turn around even as heat raced through him. He wanted to believe that was possible, but it wasn’t likely to be anyone as stunning as Dante Bartholomew. He also doubted that anyone hurting as Dante seemed to be would be able to open himself up like that and accept what was on the inside.

  “I don’t expect it, but I think it’s pretty much inevitable. I can live with it.” Even as the words crossed his lips, he wondered if they were true. Had he really thought that he would be alone all his life?

  “Would you turn around?” Dante asked, and Beau shifted slowly in his seat, meeting Dante’s gaze. “It seems a shame to cut yourself off from everyone like that.”

  Beau raised his eyebrows. “Why? You seem to have done just that. Are you happy?”

  Dante sighed. “I don’t think I’m meant to be happy. I think the decisions I’ve made have made it impossible and made me unworthy to be happy.”

  The car pulled to a stop, and Beau reached to open the door. “How about we continue this conversation later?” He stepped out of the car and waited for Dante.

  “We’ll be a few hours. I’ll call you when we’re ready to be picked up,” Dante told Juan, who nodded and pulled the limousine down the street. Dante motioned to the small restaurant, and Beau climbed the steps to what had once been a grand Victorian home and was now a luxurious restaurant with scents to boggle the mind wafting through it.

  “Wow,” Beau couldn’t help murmuring as he glanced all around and inhaled slowly, letting the warmth of spicy herbs, a touch of garlic, and a hint of heat encircle him.

  Dante spoke to the hostess, and then they were escorted through the richly decorated space filled with glorious antiques to a table in the base of the round tower that jutted above them into the night.

  “This is really nice.” He hadn’t imagined Dante would make a reservation at the best restaurant on the Eastern shore.

  “I hoped you’d like it.” Dante took his seat, and when the server came over, he introduced himself and took their drink orders. Dante ordered a bottle of sparkling wine, as well as bottled water. Then they took a look at their menus.

  Beau was completely torn. Everything sounded amazing, and he had no idea what to choose. Eventually he settled on a strawberry-laced salad to go with fresh snapper. Dante ordered sea bass and a Caesar salad. He thanked the server and waited for him to leave.

  “Have you ever been here before?” Beau asked.

  Dante nodded, a cloud passing over his face. “This was Allison’s favorite restaurant.”

  “Do you think that’s a little strange?”

  Dante shrugged. “I remembered the restaurant and asked Roberts to make the reservation. I didn’t give it much thought until I got here.”

  “We can go if you need to.”

  “No.” Dante sat straighter in his chair. “It’s been a long time.”

  Beau thought a second. “What was she like?”

  “Allison?” Dante seemed shocked.

  “Yeah. What was she like?” Beau hoped getting Dante to talk about her would make things easier.

  “She was my best friend. I met her in the ninth grade, and we became friends very quickly. My dad liked that I had a girlfriend, even though we were only friends and nothing more. Her family used to go on these long, huge vacations every summer, and the last few years of high school, they took me along with them. We went out West and saw all the national parks. Stuff like that. We stayed friends through college, and then once we got out, I went to work for my dad, and she went on to study law and eventually worked for a big law firm in DC.”

  “But did you know you were gay?”

  “Yes, and so did Allison. That’s why we became such close friends. There wasn’t a bunch of sexual tension between us. We loved each other and helped look out for each other. Allison was a great friend.” The cloud of darkness washed over his features once again. “Anyway, she had a great sense of humor—at least she did when we were kids. As we got older, she got more serious and put herself through law school. She was very determined and dedicated to her career for a while. But apparently she lost interest. That was Allison all over. Even as a kid, she threw herself into things and then grew tired of them after a while. She moved back to St. Giles and opened her own legal practice because she said she wanted to help the people there.”

  “Is that when you grew closer again?”

  Dante nodded, and the server arrived with a champagne bucket on a stand and opened the bottle, poured their glasses, and then left them alone once again. Beau wanted to ask some more questions about Allison, but it seemed Dante had said all he wanted to say, as his expression hardened.

  “This was her favorite restaurant, and we used to come here a lot when we were first married.”

  Beau was glad he’d been wrong, and if Dante wanted to talk, he’d let him.

  “What are you doing here?” a man growled, and Beau turned his gaze from Dante to a tall, broad man standing next to their table. He stared at Dante, mouth curled in a sneer. “You aren’t fit to be seen in public with anyone, you fucking monster.”

  Every head in the restaurant turned their way, and their server scrambled over. “Sir, you need to leave.” The server called for others as the man continued to glare at Dante.

  “I know what you did, and so help me, I will make you pay for it.” The man leaned down, lowering his voice. “I’ve hated you for years for what you did to Allison. I’m not afraid of you. I will make you pay for what you did. The law might have let you off, but I won’t.” He straightened up and jerked away from the servers. Then his glare shifted to Beau, growing icier by the second, sending a bone-deep chill of pure hatred through Beau. “Is this
what you replaced my sister with? A man?” His lip curled upward, and Dante got to his feet, seemingly ready to stand between them.

  “Sir, either you leave or we will call the police.” The server sounded unsure of himself, but the message seemed to get through.

  The man turned away from the table, storming toward the door as rage washed off him like water over a precipice. He banged a table near the entrance, sending it toppling, glassware shattering and silverware jangling as it hit the floor. He didn’t even pause, slamming the door behind him.

  “I’m sorry, sir…,” the server began.

  “It’s all right,” Dante said as he drew himself up to his full height and sat as regally as possible. Beau knew it was a front, but one Dante had to put on in order to somehow rise above what had just happened.

  “Who was that?”

  “Harper Bledsoe, Allison’s brother. As you can tell, like everyone else, he blames me for what happened to Allison.” Dante met Beau’s eyes. “And I can’t blame him. I didn’t murder her, but I am responsible for what happened.” He lowered his gaze to the table.

  “Do you want to go?” Beau asked, placing his hand on Dante’s.

  “No.” Dante shook his head slightly. “I want to have a nice dinner here with you, and then we can take a walk through town and out to the bay. It’s pretty here, and you deserve a nice dinner.”

  Beau could almost see Dante pulling away from him. The time they’d spent together had been strange, but Beau had felt Dante beginning to open up to him. He suspected Dante never talked about Allison to anyone.

  Thankfully, most people in the restaurant had returned to their meals. With the excitement over, things seemingly returned to normal. The server brought their salads, and Beau ate and tried to think of something to talk about.

  “Next week I have to travel for a while. I’ve been putting this trip off and I can’t any longer.”