Taming the Beast

by Andrew Grey

  Dante sighed. “Shit, you never have easy questions with quick answers, do you?”

  “Nope.” Beau took another bite of pasta. “But seeing yourself through the hard questions to the difficult answers usually ends in a meaningful result. Easy questions with quick answers are forgotten just as fast.” He continued eating. “Don’t expect things to change overnight, and I hate to say it, but they might not change at all. I don’t know. But you’ve told me what happened….”

  “Yes…?”

  “You notice that I didn’t run away or call you a Beast or any other names.” Beau lifted his eyebrows as he held his fork above his plate.

  “But maybe you should have. What if…?”

  Beau chuckled. “What are you afraid is going to happen?”

  “I don’t know,” Dante confessed.

  Hearing that tone was disconcerting. Beau would much rather have Dante growl and storm through the kitchen. This resigned and almost cowed Dante wasn’t the man he’d come to know or wanted to see. Part of what attracted him to Dante was his strength and the way he held his head high in the face of everyone else’s derision. Dante had a backbone of steel, and Beau hated to see him like this.

  “Then deal with what happens when it comes.” Beau returned to his dinner, eating slowly, watching Dante as he seemed to process what Beau was trying to tell him. It wasn’t long before all the pasta and salad were gone. The events of the evening hadn’t dulled Dante’s appetite, which Beau took as a good thing.

  “What do you want to do now?”

  “I need to clean up so Harriet doesn’t lock me out of the kitchen.” Beau squeezed Dante’s hand. “I like this kitchen. It’s a dream to work in.” He smiled, and eventually Dante did the same. Beau wasn’t under the illusion that the years of guilt and shame were gone, but he hoped he’d been able to lighten Dante’s burden somewhat. “I’ll get the fruit, and we can take it in and watch a movie or something.” He didn’t think jumping into bed was a good idea at the moment. His body was keen on the idea, but his head told him to take it slow. Dante had been through a great deal by reliving what happened with Allison.

  Dante stood, took the plates, and set them on the counter. He opened the door of the dishwasher, staring inside. “I have to confess, I don’t really know what to do.”

  Beau chuckled and cleared the rest of the dishes. He pulled out the racks and loaded the plates inside. “It’s not that hard.”

  “But which buttons do you press to start it?” Dante stared at the various settings once Beau closed the door.

  “I think we can leave that for Harriet. She’ll know it best.” Beau opened the refrigerator door, pulled out the berries he’d cleaned, and then followed Dante out of the kitchen and through to a small room off Dante’s office where he had a television. “This house is so huge.”

  “I know. I swear there are places I’ve yet to discover.” Dante settled on the comfortable older dark plaid sofa, and Beau sat next to him.

  “Are you all right?” Beau scooted closer so Dante could wrap his arms around him. He liked the security of Dante’s embrace. How could people think the things of him that they did? If only they could get to know him, none of that would be possible.

  “Yes, I think so. Nothing I can do to help Allison now.” Dante breathed gently into Beau’s ear. It wasn’t sexy, just gentle.

  “You still care for her and remember the friendship and the good things you had.”

  “Of course.”

  “Then that’s all you can do. You protected her family from what would hurt them even more than losing their daughter. None of us will ever know if Allison meant to hurt herself or not.”

  “I like to think it was an accident. I don’t really know. She was so angry at me and herself that night. I think things had gone too far for her, and….” Dante swallowed. “She said she wanted to have a baby, and I almost took her to bed, because I wanted one too. I probably could have closed my eyes or something… and given her what she said she wanted….” Dante tugged him closer, shaking slightly.

  “That wouldn’t have changed anything. You have to know that. Things with Allison, for herself, were getting out of control. Only medical help would do any good, and if she was fighting it, there are limited things that you could have done. People have to want and be willing to accept help before anything meaningful can happen. I know you blame yourself for all of this, but Allison has to shoulder a lot of the blame herself.” Beau met his gaze.

  “What makes you say that?”

  “Allison agreed to marry you. Why? She knew you were gay, and then, after some time, she’s trying to change the arrangement, wanting children, things she had to know weren’t going to happen. Why?” Beau leaned back so Dante could see him plainly. “What was Allison hoping to get?”

  “Security?” Dante answered. “A better life?”

  “You really don’t know, do you?”

  Dante shook his head. “She wasn’t dating at the time, and she and I had been spending a lot of time together.”

  “Do you think she was in love with you?” Beau asked. Dante gasped, stilled, and remained quiet for far longer than Beau expected. “Do you think she fell in love with you before your marriage, and she accepted because she thought that over time you’d grow to love her the way she loved you?”

  Dante nodded. “It makes sense now. She… I remember the way she used to look at me when she was unguarded. I didn’t think about it then, but I remember those looks. It was as though she were longing for something, wishing…. How could I have been so stupid?” He pulled Beau to him, burying his face against his shoulder. Dante was crying… and the Beast was dead. At least Beau hoped so.

  Chapter 7

  DANTE WOKE in the middle of the night, alone. Sometimes jet lag really stunk, like when he wanted to sleep and woke up at strange hours. He and Beau had watched a movie and then gone to bed. Thankfully, Beau never mentioned the way he’d nearly lost it. The wave of hurt that had overtaken him had easily crested his defenses and he hadn’t been able to hold it in. Beau had sat with him, silent, and once it passed, they watched Mel Brooks’ The Producers, the original movie. It felt good to laugh, even if his eyes still held the last vestiges of tears. Laughter was something that had been absent from his life for a long time.

  He listened for any indication that Beau was in the bathroom, but heard nothing. Beau’s side of the bed was cool, so he’d left some time earlier. Dante felt a growl rising in his throat. Had Beau left him after all? Dante had spent years convincing himself that he didn’t need anyone, had finally let down his guard, and now Beau was gone. Dante hated the thought that he’d been left alone once more.

  A creak from outside the door caught his attention. Dante pushed back the covers, turning on the soft light next to the bed. He yanked on his robe and pulled the door open the rest of the way. A sliver of light from Allison’s room led him there. That room had been closed up since her death. No one went in, except maybe the housekeeper a few times a year. He hadn’t been in there since her death. He had simply closed it up and left it that way.

  “What are you doing?” Dante barked more loudly than he intended.

  Beau squeaked from where he knelt near the side of the bed. “I was curious and couldn’t sleep.” He got to his feet, his robe partially open.

  For a second Dante forgot his anger, enthralled by the wide slice of visible golden skin. He shook his head to clear it. “So you decided to rummage through Allison’s things?” He put his hands on his hips, glaring at Beau before his gaze drifted to the bathroom door, where the light was also on. “Is this how you usually behave?” His hands balled into fists before he could stop them.

  “Dante,” Beau said gently but without remorse. There was steel underlying the softness. “You told me what happened, but I wanted to see if there was anything that Allison could tell us.”

  Dante narrowed his eyes. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  “This is her room, right?” Beau soun
ded so fucking logical, and Dante’s heart raced with aggression and anger.

  “Of course it is.”

  “And from the look of things, no one has been in here since she died? It certainly doesn’t look like anyone has been in here.”

  Dante took a look at the thick coat of dust and realized his assumption was wrong. Even the housekeepers Roberts employed had left the room alone. Cobwebs hung from the ceiling down to the tops of the heavy velvet curtains, which had been drawn closed. He could tell what Beau had touched simply by the marks in the dust. “No. I closed the room after she died and didn’t come in here. What does that have to do with you snooping through the house?”

  Beau walked over to him. “This is where Allison would keep her things, and anything private, maybe containing her thoughts, would be in here. Sometimes mentally ill people believe they’re the ones who are sane and everyone else is wrong. To help prove it, they sometimes write things down. I’ve helped people who have filled dozens of notebooks. I was hoping to find something that would help explain to you what Allison was thinking and maybe give you some peace.”

  And just like that, Dante’s anger faded. Fuck it all, Beau had been trying to help him. “Huh….”

  Beau placed his hands on Dante’s shoulders. “You’re so used to everyone seeing the bad side of you and being on your own that you don’t believe anyone would want to help you.” Beau’s huge, beautiful eyes cut right through Dante’s aggression, and it melted away like snow in July. He lowered his gaze, and Beau touched his chin. “Never forget that I see you for who you are. I have never seen the Beast. I’ve always seen Dante, and it’s time the rest of the world and this crazy town does the same.”

  “It is?” Dante managed those few words before his mouth went dry. How could he argue with Beau when he was the object of such intensity? He’d been angry, and in those seconds, Beau had looked at him as though he were some sort of god that Beau wanted to eat for lunch, in the hottest way possible. Dante had thought that he had things together, that he knew his place in life, and that he could be content with that. He’d never been so wrong in his life. There was no way in hell he could live without this man standing in front of him.

  “Yes. You are not a beast.” Beau walked to the bathroom door and turned out the light. Then he switched off the one next to the bed, plunging the room into near total darkness. Taking Dante’s hand, he led him back to his bedroom.

  “I’m not?” Dante asked as they walked.

  “No. You’re a person, just like anyone else, and this… our lives aren’t a fairy tale.” Beau chuckled. “Besides, if you’re the Beast, well… we both sure as hell know that I’m no Beauty.”

  Dante disagreed vehemently with what Beau had just said. He closed the bedroom door once they were inside, went to the corner of the room, and spun the cheval mirror so it faced them. “Come here.” He tugged Beau in front of him, turning him toward the mirror, and slipped the robe off his shoulders.

  “I told you,” Beau whispered as they both looked at his reflection. “The scars make me look… well, you see them. You know I’ll never be anyone’s Beauty.” Beau turned and undid the knot in the belt of Dante’s robe, sliding it off his shoulders. “Sometimes I wish you could see what I do.” He stepped to the side. “You’re the one who’s beautiful.” He ran his fingers lightly down Dante’s chest, creating a trail of fire in their wake.

  Dante rotated Beau around, pressed his chest to Beau’s back, his cock sliding along his perfect butt, and wrapped his arms around Beau’s waist. He kissed Beau’s neck, then lifted his gaze to the mirror. In the low light, Beau’s golden skin glowed and the scars faded before his eyes. “You are a beauty. It glows from inside you. I can see that—I think maybe I always have.” Dante didn’t turn away, blinking as all he saw was the most incredible man he had ever met. There were no scars, only gentleness and caring. “It’s what’s on the inside that counts.” Dante held Beau closer, heat building from deep inside, bursting out wherever Beau touched him.

  “What are you saying?” Beau asked.

  “I may be a beast, but I’m your Beast, just like you’re my Beauty. The other half of me.” Dante had never felt as content or quite as complete before.

  Beau turned just enough to catch Dante’s lips. Dante skimmed his fingers gently over Beau’s delicate throat, then cupped his jaw as he kissed him deeper. Dante ran his tongue over the seam of Beau’s lips, not able to get enough of him.

  “How about you endeavor to be only my Beast and no one else’s, then?” Beau said. “Let everyone else see the man you truly are, and you be my Beast in bed. Because that’s where I like him best.” Beau ground his butt into him, and Dante tried like hell to stifle a deep growl, failing miserably.

  Beau laughed, and Dante turned him around and hoisted him into his arms, stalking toward the bed. “You’re being a fucking tease.”

  “I am not,” Beau argued. “I fully intend to put out, but not before I drive the beast inside you crazy.” He grinned evilly.

  “You already have.” Dante set Beau on the bed with a bounce and stalked onto the mattress, coming to the end of his patience. He kissed him as his hands roamed over Beau’s golden skin. He wanted all of him at the same time, his entire body thrumming with each beat of his heart, control already slipping away. Beau held him, his own fingers exploring, and when Beau lightly pinched a nipple, Dante reared up, hissing in exquisite delight. Beau followed him, sucking the lightly abused nipple between his lips, teasing him until Dante could hardly see straight. “You’re playing with fire.”

  “No, I think that’s you.” Beau grinned up at him, and Dante cupped his cheeks, holding him still so he could feast on Beau’s full, already swollen lips. He knew Beau was right. Beau was pure fire, and Dante would play with him for the rest of his life if Beau would have him.

  “Damn,” Dante breathed. He could feel the heat and wanted even more. He tugged Beau to him, pressing their bodies together, hips rocking slowly on their own, instinct taking over.

  Beau stretched, and Dante heard the drawer beside the bed slide open. “You have to have some of the damn things, and….” He groaned and pressed a condom packet into his hand. “That’s what I want.”

  Dante’s head spun a minute. Beau gazed at him, all heat and need, sending Dante into flight. He hadn’t thought anyone could ever want him. He’d only thought that he was broken and that his chances at happiness had been used up or thrown away, and here Beau was, offering him something he’d never even hoped to get.

  “Are you sure I’m good enough?” Dante had to know if this was real.

  “I knew that night I first saw you at the benefit.” Beau wrapped his arms around his neck, drawing him downward, but Dante held still.

  “How could you?” Dante asked, his lips inches from Beau’s, looking for something deep in Beau’s eyes.

  “I don’t know. I just did. You were the infamous Dante Bartholomew, and you could have spoken to anyone in the room, but you spent most of your time with Bobby and then me. I saw your pain, and….” Beau paused. “Then you looked at me and the pain receded. There was happiness in its place. Not for long, but it was there. The real Dante lay under all that pain and guilt, and whether you meant to or not, you let me see him.”

  Dante swallowed as the last of the walls around his heart crashed to rubble. The roar of their collapse sounded in his ears—or maybe that was the beating of his heart coming alive again after so long. Dante wasn’t sure which it was. Maybe it was both.

  “Make love to me,” Beau said softly, but he could have shouted it from the rooftops. The effect on Dante was instant.

  “Why don’t you make love to me?” Dante asked as he swallowed hard.

  Beau stilled under him, brushing his hand over Dante’s forehead, looking deep into his eyes. “Because you’re about to freak out any second. And that’s not what I like.” Beau kissed him, sending another wave of fire rushing through Dante. “I want you to be happy, and you being in charge, drivi
ng me full force to the moon and back, is exactly what I want.”

  “But I don’t want to be selfish, and….” His head spun again. Dante had never offered himself in that way to anyone, and he’d done it because he wanted to show Beau how much he cared and how important Beau was to him. It shocked Dante that Beau could read him so well already to know that wasn’t really part of him.

  Beau grinned. “Fucking me from here to eternity isn’t being selfish—it’s giving of yourself… over and over again. So let’s get with the giving, because I sure as hell need it. You promised me the Beast, and I want him.”

  Dante growled, and Beau tightened his legs around Dante’s waist, inflaming him, leaving Dante no doubt that what he’d said was the truth.

  “I asked before and I’ll say it again. Make love to me, Dante.” Beau’s eyes had shifted to the deepest blue, and they drew him in. Dante brushed his forehead, leaning even closer, half afraid he’d tumble into those huge eyes and never come out again. He closed the final distance between them, kissing Beau as he arched under him.

  Breathless, Dante saw spots when he pulled away once again. He fished for the packet he’d dropped on the bedding and found it without too much difficulty. Dante ripped it open and prepared himself and then Beau before taking his position once again. This time when he kissed Beau, he gasped against his lips as Beau’s pressure and heat surrounded him.

  Beau sucked on Dante’s lip, holding him tighter, shuddering slightly as they slowly joined more completely. Dante didn’t want to hurt Beau at all. This was about joy and happiness, things that had been missing from his life for a long time.

  “You are my Beauty,” Dante whispered as Beau gripped his entire length.

  “So full,” Beau groaned, then slowly rocked back and forth. It was just enough for Dante to understand Beau’s preferred pace, and he picked up his timing, holding Beau closely to him. Dante listened for the hitches in Beau’s breath. They told him when he’d touched Beau just right, and when the breaths became shallow, Dante knew he was driving Beau toward his release. He wanted to hear it, see it, even smell the tang of it.