A Daughter's Choice

by June Francis

  ‘Sure and you could say that,’ said Eileen in her Irish brogue, flicking back her tangled hair. ‘I haven’t worked here for months but when I saw Ben and Sarah had got married, I thought maybe Aunt Kitty would take me back. I’ve been thrown out of the other place.’

  ‘What other place? What’s been happening here?’ demanded Katherine. ‘Where are they all?’

  Eileen shrugged narrow shoulders clad in a thin woollen checked coat. ‘Ask me another! You don’t still have a key?’

  ‘I’ve never had a key! Ma always said when I was twenty-one I’d get one, but not until then.’

  ‘Hell!’ Eileen sagged against the area railings. ‘What am I going to do? I can’t go back to Gran’s! The aunts would get on to Mam and Dad and he’d come and drag me back home then.’

  ‘Why don’t you want to go home?’

  ‘They treat me like a child because of me fits, and other people treat me like the village idjit! I’m no loss to them. I know it’s horrible for them but it’s no fun for me either,’ she said gloomily. ‘I’ve just lost me last job and now I don’t know what to do.’

  ‘I know the feeling,’ said Katherine, leaning against the front door.

  ‘You’ve got no job? Is that why you’re here? What happened with your real mother?’

  ‘No, I don’t mean that! I’m still living with her and I’ve got a job. It’s just that –’ She paused and gazed at Eileen, who was shivering now in the thin coat. ‘Perhaps you’d best come home with me? We’ll both catch our deaths if we stay here.’

  ‘Katie!’

  Katherine turned and saw a dishevelled-looking Jack carrying a small suitcase. ‘What are you doing here?’ she gasped.

  ‘I could ask you the same question but I’m just glad to see you.’

  ‘Are you?’ she said in surprise.

  ‘You don’t know how much,’ he said in uneven tones.

  ‘And me?’ asked Eileen in a small voice.

  He glanced at her and smiled. ‘And you. Look, let’s get inside. It’s freezing out here and you’ll both end up with pneumonia. I’ve got to go out again but I’ll need to make the fires up first because the part-timers are coming in this afternoon. We can have a cuppa if nothing else. You’ve got the milk, good girl, Katie!’ He put a key in the lock and opened the door.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ asked Katherine, following him in. ‘The wedding was in Ireland, wasn’t it?’

  ‘I’ve been there. But I actually came home here when you went missing, had a row with Pops and went roaming. I came back New Year. I’ve got loads to tell you but first things first. Are you here to stay?’

  ‘Maybe! If I’m wanted,’ she said swiftly. Her eyes met his. ‘Why? What’s wrong? There is something wrong, isn’t there?’

  He nodded. ‘Ma’s had a heart attack!’

  The blood seemed to drain out of her and she felt for the wall behind her.

  Jack reached for her. ‘I shouldn’t have sprung it on you like that.’

  ‘Is – is she …?’

  ‘No! It happened in Ireland the day after the wedding and she’s in hospital there.’ His eyes fixed on Eileen. ‘Annie’s been worrying herself sick about you. It’s time you went home but you can’t go yet. I need your help. There’s guests due and we’re Ma and Sarah short.’

  ‘She’s – she’s not going to die, is she? I’d like to see her,’ said Katherine, her teeth chattering.

  ‘You can’t! She’s got to be kept quiet. But we’ll telephone and say you’re back. That’ll speed her recovery. So let’s get to work.’

  ‘You’re working here? What about Edinburgh and medicine?’ They went into the kitchen, followed by Eileen.

  ‘I’ve applied to do my final year at the Royal Infirmary. I’ve met someone, a nurse, and we’re going to get married. But …’

  ‘You? Married!’ She could scarcely believe it. ‘She must be a very special person.’

  ‘To put up with me, you mean?’ he said with a twisted smile. ‘I confess I’ve been pretty rotten to you in the past but –’

  ‘I’ll put the kettle on,’ said Eileen.

  They both ignored her.

  ‘It can’t have been easy for you,’ said Katherine in rapid tones. ‘You were so young when you went to Ireland, and coming back to find me here can’t have been fun.’

  He studied her closely. ‘You’ve been giving that some thought while you’ve been away?’

  ‘I’ve thought about a lot of things.’

  ‘Me too,’ he said with a touch of awkwardness. ‘The others aren’t the only ones who’ve missed you.’ He placed an arm about her and gave her a swift hug. For a moment she rested her cheek on his sleeve and then they drew apart, both feeling slightly embarrassed.

  Some of the tension had eased out of Katherine but now it was back. Gazing about her, she saw things through a blur of tears and had to clear her throat before saying, ‘When are the guests expected?’

  ‘Tomorrow! We closed the place down because of the wedding and Ma –’ He stopped abruptly. ‘Is it the wedding that brought you home? Did you see the photo in the Echo?’

  ‘Yes! And it upset me, I can tell you!’

  ‘I saw it, too,’ said Eileen. ‘Sarah got him after all!’

  ‘Yeah,’ muttered Katherine, going over to the fridge and touching things as she passed.

  ‘Sarah’s been working here and sleeping in your room,’ said Jack. ‘There might still be a few of her things around. She didn’t do the job as well as you, although Ma said she was doing her best.’

  ‘I left Ma in the lurch, it was wrong of me.’ Katherine turned and faced him. ‘Do you know all about me not being your sister?’

  He nodded slowly. ‘It came as a shock and I’m still not sure if I’ll ever get used to thinking of you as my niece.’

  ‘Pardon?’ she said, startled. ‘You said your niece? How do you know that?’

  Jack raised his eyebrows. ‘Aren’t you my niece?’

  ‘Yes, but Celia only told me last night that Mick was my father.’

  Jack grinned. ‘He believed it from day one. They’ve been looking for you.’

  ‘Where?’

  ‘Southport. Tried all different hotels and then Rita came up with …’

  ‘Rita?’

  ‘She works at the hotel where Celia used to work.’

  Katherine remembered her. ‘So what did she come up with?’

  ‘Let’s take things in order,’ he said, his brow creasing with concentration. ‘Before she came up with a man’s name whom Celia had been seeing, Sarah saw you.’

  ‘Sarah did? But she kept quiet about it?’

  ‘No! She followed you then went for Ben but the pair of them lost you.’

  ‘I saw them but I didn’t realise they were looking for me,’ said Katherine in a low voice. ‘They looked so happy with each other, I was angry – jealous. I didn’t like seeing them together at all. It made me feel an outsider. Is that how you felt when you used to come home and find me ruling the roost?’

  ‘Something like that, but it’s behind me now. Jealousy’s a waste of energy. I should have said how I felt years ago but it wasn’t easy.’

  ‘Because I was always there. Have you talked with Ma and Pops about it?’ He nodded.

  ‘So my going away has done some good?’

  ‘Loads, I’d say. Anyway, to get on with the story – and I’m not sure if you’re going to like this bit –’

  ‘Why?’

  He accepted a cup of tea from Eileen. ‘Wait till I tell you.’ So he told her about Rita and how Mick had paid him to watch Andy Pritchard’s place.

  Katherine was flabbergasted. ‘So it was you in the cinema! But why didn’t you speak to me?’

  ‘There’s a right time for everything. I didn’t feel that was it. I thought you’d come back when you were ready.’

  ‘But what did you tell Mick?’

  ‘I told him that the lead didn’t go anywhere. Wrong of me in view of what hap
pened to Ma, but I thought you and the bloke you were with looked pretty wrapped up in each other.’

  Katherine blushed. ‘We are but – Ma didn’t approve of Patrick when she met him.’

  ‘Patrick!’ exclaimed Eileen. ‘You’ve met up with him again?’

  ‘Yep! Seems like fate,’ said Katherine brightly. ‘But I can’t go mentioning him to Ma yet. Anyway, when will Mick be home?’ she asked Jack.

  ‘He won’t be. He’s left. Has a house in Waterloo near the beach and got himself a dog. He doesn’t know about Ma because he only stayed in Ireland for the wedding, but he calls here at least three times a week to see if there’s any news of you and Celia.’

  ‘He really wants to find us?’

  ‘I think he’s desperate to.’

  Desperate! That surprised her. ‘I’ll have to go and see him.’

  ‘You haven’t time. He’ll turn up here tomorrow, expecting Ma to be here.’

  ‘I should never have left,’ groaned Katherine, feeling guilt-ridden. ‘It’s my fault!’

  ‘I felt it was mine but Pops has been telling her for years she should take it easy. Anyway, it’s not going to get us anywhere, blaming ourselves. We’ve got to keep the Arcadia a going concern. So you’ll stay?’

  ‘Of course. Although I’ll have to dash back to the pet shop and get some clothes and let Celia know what I’m doing. I don’t want her worrying about me, although she’s been very sneaky about this Andy Pritchard you’ve mentioned.’

  ‘That’s great!’ Jack looked in the bread crock but it was empty. ‘Right! Who’s going shopping, you or me?’

  ‘You get the fires lit, like you said,’ said Katherine. ‘Eileen and I’ll do the shopping, then sort out bedrooms when the part-timers arrive.’

  For several hours it was all go and it was not until early evening when the fog had cleared that she left the hotel.

  The shop was closed by the time she got there but she found Celia upstairs on the landing cooking bacon and eggs in the cramped space. Katherine felt she had been away ages.

  ‘Well! Did everything go off OK?’ said Celia eagerly. ‘They’ve accepted you?’

  ‘Ma and Mick weren’t there.’

  Celia’s face fell. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Ma’s had a heart attack and is in a hospital in Ireland. Jack was there and we had a –’

  ‘A heart attack! Oh, lor’!’ cried Celia, dropping the fish slice and putting a hand to her mouth. ‘What are you going to do? Did they blame me for it?’

  ‘Of course not. Although only Jack was there. He seems to think she’s going to be OK and he knows something about medicine.’

  ‘I’ll say a few prayers for her,’ said Celia.

  ‘You do that,’ said Katherine dryly. ‘But I’m needed at the Arcadia so I’ll be going back there.’

  ‘They do want you then?’ Celia’s tone was eager.

  ‘Aye, they want me.’

  Her mother beamed. ‘I’m so glad. You’ll want your things. I did right packing them for you, I thought it’d save time.’

  Katie gave her a shrewd look. ‘Anyone would think you were trying to get rid of me.’

  Celia’s smile vanished. ‘Of course I’m not. I just want what’s best for you.’

  Humph! thought Katherine. Something is up with that man. I wonder what she’s told him about me? ‘Mick’s been looking for us,’ she said loudly. ‘Jack says he’s desperate to find us. Wouldn’t it be romantic if you two got together again? He has a house in Waterloo. I bet he bought it with us in mind.’

  Celia’s colour came and went. ‘I don’t believe it!’

  ‘Honest to God! Cross my heart and hope to die if I dare tell a lie! I’ll be seeing him soon. Why don’t you come along tomorrow, Ma, and we can give him a surprise?’

  ‘Don’t call me Ma!’ There was a tremor in her voice.

  Katherine sighed heavily. ‘There was a time when you wanted me to call you that.’

  ‘Never,’ said Celia with surprising vehemence. ‘Mum or Mam, yes, but never what you call Mrs Mcleod.’

  ‘OK! If that’s how you feel,’ said Katherine, putting on a cheerful voice, ‘I’ll take me things. Has Patrick been in, by the way?’

  ‘Yes. But I didn’t tell him where you’d gone.’

  ‘Why not? He knows the truth.’

  Celia groaned. ‘It’s a wonder you haven’t told the whole neighbourhood.’

  ‘I didn’t see the need,’ said Katherine, a sparkle in her eyes as she gave her mother a hard look before going up to her bedroom.

  She did not feel a bit sentimental about leaving that bedroom but felt weepy when she had a few words with Mrs Evans, promising she would see her again soon. After that it was just a matter of heaving the suitcase Celia had packed for her down the stairs. She left it at the bottom for a moment and ran over to the photographer’s but Patrick was not there and was not expected until tomorrow. She left a message, fetched her suitcase and caught a bus into town.

  It was strange going into her old bedroom but still like coming home. Katherine switched on the light and wrinkled her nose. If Jack had not told her, she would have known Sarah had been there. The place reeked of her perfume and as well as that she had left a pair of stockings hanging on a chair and a lipstick on the chest of drawers where there was a framed photograph of two children. They were unmistakably Sarah and Ben and she touched his face with a gentle finger and wondered when they would return from their honeymoon and where they had gone and whether they knew about Ma’s heart attack.

  Tears started in her eyes. Not wanting to think of Kitty in pain, she said a prayer. She took the top off the lipstick. It was that bright red Sarah favoured and almost used up. Katherine pocketed it, intending to put it in the bin. She opened the top drawer to find it empty. She opened all the drawers and only in the bottom one did she find some underwear of Sarah’s, the unglamorous kind. She had probably bought new for her trousseau. Patrick was suddenly in Katherine’s mind and a smile softened her mouth.

  She went over to the wardrobe and discovered several skirts and blouses of her own. She took out a skirt and held it against her. She had lost weight and Ma wouldn’t be pleased about that. Katherine gnawed on her bottom lip, thinking of Kitty. Jack had telephoned Ireland before going out to meet his girlfriend and had told her on her arrival that Ma was comfortable. She hoped he was telling her the truth. She began to unpack her suitcase, filling wardrobes and drawers. She checked there were clean sheets on the bed and was grateful to see there were. She felt certain she had Eileen to thank for that but there had been no sign of the girl when she had arrived back. Perhaps she had gone to see her gran after all.

  Katherine was feeling more at home every minute. She ran water and poured in bubble bath before lowering herself into the hot steamy water. This was something she had missed while she had been away so she soaked luxuriously whilst reading a Georgette Heyer novel. Going to the local baths or having a wash down was no substitute for your own tub, she had long decided.

  Afterwards, when she was pink and wrinkly, she went and filled two hot water bottles, made a cup of cocoa and took it upstairs with her. She could feel the space like a tangible thing around her. She felt King of the Castle – Queen of the May – in charge! This was her domain. She put a hottie in Jack’s bed, glad, so glad, they were friends at last. When she went into her own bedroom she knelt on the bed looking out of the window at the YMCA building across the road and knew she had come home. Even so, she knew now things could never be the same again. There was Patrick. How would he fit in here? She needed to see him soon but first there was tomorrow to get through and that first meeting with Mick.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Katherine stood at the bottom of the steps, leaning against the area railings, having left Eileen in the kitchen with the part-timer and Jack in Reception. She would have to go in soon but as Jack had said this was the time of evening when Mick generally arrived she wanted to see him first on their own. She was muf
fled up against the cold in a green coat and the long scarf in drop stitch which Mrs Evans had knitted her for Christmas. She remembered that evening when she had sat on the step waiting for Mick to come home from sea for good. She had not been so nervous then as she was now.

  Suddenly there were footsteps coming up the Mount and she lifted her head and saw him with a small dog trotting at his heels. Affection swelled inside her and she remembered Celia telling her about the dog she had given Mick when he was just fifteen and how the gift had changed things between them and they had become sweethearts. Katherine waited no longer but ran to meet him, only to stop a foot or so away as he looked at her as if seeing an apparition.

  ‘It’s me, Katherine,’ she said, her smile uncertain. ‘I’ve come back.’

  He raised an eyebrow. ‘I’m not blind! I know it’s you. The last eight or nine months might have aged me but I haven’t forgotten what you look like.’

  Her spirits plunged. ‘You’re not pleased to see me?’ The words were just a whisper.

  His expression changed. ‘Of course I am,’ he said roughly. ‘But I’m bloody angry with you as well!’ His eyes glinted. ‘What could Celia possibly mean to you compared to Ma? Going off without leaving an address where we could get in touch with you … What if something had happened to her?’

  She felt as if he had slapped her in the face. ‘I wasn’t thinking straight! I’d had a shock. As it is –’

  ‘Don’t you think I don’t know how you felt?’ he interrupted. ‘Suddenly my half-sister’s my daughter! It wasn’t funny! Especially with you missing and Ma looking like she might have a heart attack.’

  ‘Don’t say that!’ she said in a choking voice. ‘She has had a heart attack!’

  ‘What!’ His face whitened in the lamplight and he sprang forward. The dog yelped. ‘My God! Where is she? Is that why you’re here?’ He groaned. ‘But that’s stupid! How would you have known?’

  ‘Exactly! She’s in a hospital in Ireland but she’s getting better now but has to have rest and not get too excited,’ babbled Katherine. ‘I’m here because Celia told me two days ago she’d lied and I am your daughter after all, and Jack said he wanted me to stay and help at the Arcadia because there was no one else. So here I am and I thought you’d be pleased and –’