Losing You (Finding You Series Book 2)

by Amanda Mackey

  I was powerless to control my feeling of loss. I breathed in her scent, knowing it was all I had left.

  I padded over to the bed. The bed where we’d made love. She had enlightened my life, like a rosebud drinking in the morning sun, enabling it to fully open and flourish. That rosebud was now wilted and half dead.

  Glancing around the room, my eyes rested on a piece of paper that lay on the bedside table. The cleaning lady must have missed it.

  Picking it up, the smell of Dakota’s perfume became stronger. My name was scribbled on the front in cursive handwriting. I wondered why there would be a letter addressed to me on the bedside table.

  Did I want to open it? Just looking at my name and the way it was written, I knew who had penned it and I held my breath, closing my eyes for a minute, debating on whether or not I would be able to read whatever was written inside.

  I hadn’t noticed it when we’d left the room yesterday morning in our hurry to reach the airport.

  The yes-no game played tug of war with me. I went to open it and then closed it again, letting out my breath.

  Whatever shred of my heart was left, I knew that the words inside would totally destroy it.

  Sucking in air and letting it go, in and out a few times, I opened it and started to read:

  My darling love,

  Ramah said there was no one going to be occupying this room for a few days, so I’d be able to leave this letter here for you to read. And if you didn’t stop by—well, Ramah was going to give it to you before you left the island. I knew you would miss me and would want to spend time in the place where we shared so much, though. Was I right? Ha ha! I knew it! I hope you read this before I call you from New York as I’ll want to know your reaction. I’ve written it the day before leaving the island. You were out on location today so it gave me time to write. I can’t bear the thought of being out of your arms for so long. I figured this letter might make your day and give you a sense of me being there with you. These last two weeks have truly been a gift from God for me. You’ve shown me that happiness is not out of the question for someone who’s suffered a lot of pain in the past. I can’t imagine living without you and can’t wait until we are together again. What a reunion it will be!

  I never want us to be apart again after this. I have your face etched in my mind’s eye, right down to those little lines you get around your eyes when you flash me that beautiful smile. I am truly the lucky one to have found you. It takes most people a lifetime to find their soul mate but I have found mine early.

  I can almost feel you kissing me and touching me right now and can’t wait for you to finish work, so that it will become real. I’m lying here trying to guess what you have planned for our last night but at the end of the day it really doesn’t matter, as long as I’m with you.

  Darling, I must end it here. I’ll keep this safely tucked away until my departure. I love you with all my heart and will count down the minutes until we are together again in America.

  Thinking of you always,

  Lots of Love, Dakota xxxx

  I was smiling and crying at the same time, recalling her words as if she had just spoken them to me. Her voice echoed off the pages as I read the letter again and again, letting it sink in.

  Holding it to my heart, I rocked back and forth, memorizing each word, grasping onto it, knowing that this one bit of paper was my only anchor to her.

  It was as if the letter had been beckoning me to come and find it.

  Hoping that there may be some other morsel remaining, I got up and walked through the hut. There was nothing. Clasping onto the letter like my life depended on it, I headed back to my hut, where I would read the letter over and over.

  Chapter Four

  Dakota

  Day rolled into night yet again. It was all the same really except I could see better during the day. The shark had finally hurried off in a huff to look for some other unsuspecting chunk of meat. He’d seriously wanted food and if it had been under normal circumstances such as sitting safely in a boat, I would have been in awe of his size, strength, and prowess, but floating on a block of scrap metal the size of a canoe with a bloody, weeping mess of a leg and not a soul for hundreds of miles, flattery at his sudden interest didn’t enter into the picture. Well, actually if the shark had headed downwind he would have found a nice feast of bodies bobbing in the water to chomp on. His fascination with me had failed him, miserably.

  God bless their souls! I hoped they had all found the weightless grey tunnel and were now reunited with loved ones. Their fate had somehow been sweeter than mine.

  Swallowing was increasingly difficult as dehydration started to take hold. My heart hammered fast to compensate for my weakened condition. I desperately needed water. I could feel my system shutting down.

  Sea water would have to do. There was no other option.

  Cupping my hand like the twelve year old girl that had lapped fresh water from the stream that trickled over the rocks near home, I sucked in some sea water and instantly my tongue unglued from the roof of my mouth but the high salt content caused my stomach to heave. Just another sip. Ugghh. It was like drinking sand. My insides rejected it.

  I vomited it straight back up. Most of it was water because I hadn’t eaten in so long. Bile spewed out, splattering everything in its wake. The smell of stomach acids and rancid water brought more gagging. When there was nothing else left to come out the retching subsided, leaving cramped stomach muscles in its wake.

  If only a plane would go over and spot me. Why hasn’t search and rescue tried to find me?

  There was nothing to do but sleep as daylight was nudged away yet again.

  ***

  By morning I was truly delirious. “The Wheels on The Bus” hadn’t been a song I’d vocalized since kindergarten but here I was humming the chorus, not strong enough to do the actions but quite chuffed with myself for remembering the lyrics.

  Pausing to catch my breath after each sentence, eyes groggy, a shape in the distance had me look up. It was too far off to see exactly but it was on top of the water, moving. It was too big for a shark fin.

  Drifting in and out of my semi-conscious state, my new favorite song lingered on my lips.

  I was too out of it to see the vessel approach.

  Chapter Five

  Dakota

  When I became aware of being aware, certain sounds drew me to them. Birds, trees rustling, surf.

  That couldn’t be right. I really must have totally lost it and it’s probably just a case of wishful thinking. I moved my right hand and brought it up to my chest, expecting to find the life jacket still wrapped around me. Instead, I came across a new sensation. Thick fabric? What the…? The wing had become a little more comfy, too. The hard steel had been replaced by something more organic. The harsh sun had disappeared altogether. Was it now overcast? Actually, the thought of rain really appealed to me. Maybe I could let the water soak into the shirt tied around my leg and I could suck it out.

  The birds were tweeting and there wasn’t just one, but a whole choir. It was time to open my eyes and see just what was going on.

  A straw roof loomed overhead, sheltering a frame with no walls. There was no floor, just sand. A bamboo chair and bed were the only furniture. The bed had been carefully bound with twine and giant leaves formed padding. The structure was immersed in a thicket of jungle. This couldn’t be heaven, could it?

  My body was swathed in a blanket, thick and toasty warm. Gray but practical.

  What had happened and was this all real or had I conjured this up in my delusional world? My eyes felt like freshly knifed slits in my skull. My mouth and throat were still parched from dehydration but it appeared I was alive. How? Why? Who could have saved me and why can’t I remember any of it?

  Trying to prop up on my elbows, my arms buckled from under me, still too weak to support me, so I sank back into the pillowless bed, which was so much better than the aircraft wing. It creaked as I moved, but that was almost a w
elcome sound.

  I’d beaten the odds. A force beyond my control had spared my life for a reason. There truly was something else I was meant to achieve or learn by winning my fight. Gran was right.

  It didn’t take much to zoom me off to la-la land. The void of dreamless slumber was welcome. There were no nightmares in the black. No reminders. No monsters. Yet!

  The next thing I recalled was a long-haired woman applying something cold to my leg. I opened my eyes wider, still a little disoriented and shocked to see anyone. When the stranger saw my eyes open, she gave a slight smile and continued to apply the goop. It looked like green mashed potato. The lanky woman coated the wound thickly before wrapping leaves around it and securing it with stringy vine. Jeremiah’s dad sprang to my mind. It felt like I’d been teleported into his world. Maybe.

  Tears sprang to life as I remembered the friendly, peaceful man that had been sitting next to me only days ago.

  What a waste of life! Poor Jeremiah! I pray his soul is at peace.

  The only solace I could take from the crash was that he would now be reunited with his beloved wife. She would have been there to greet him, just like Gran had been with me.

  Gulping down my anxiety, I tried to speak with nothing more than a hoarse whisper.

  “Water. I. Need. Water.”

  Without uttering a sound, the island woman picked up a cut coconut shell from a nearby chair and held it to my mouth.

  I couldn’t hold my head up for long but swallowed enough to take the edge off. The liquid helped soothe my irritated throat. Loud gurgles from my empty stomach broke the silence as the coconut milk found its way down. Exhaustion set in just from drinking but even in such a weakened condition there were questions that needed answering.

  “What is that stuff you’re putting on my leg? Who are you and where am I?”

  The dark beauty didn’t even flinch at my influx of questions as she cleared away the bowl and re-covered my leg with the blanket.

  “The green on your leg is medicine. You nearly lose leg. You very sick. We save you from dying. Your leg might not work. I am Jasmine and you be here on our island.”

  The woman spoke in broken English. Her ebony mane of hair shielded her forehead and swirled around eyes that avoided mine. She wore a sarong, with sandals on her feet similar to Ramah on Sapphire Island. Her mannerism was very curt, as if she had better things to do than look after a sick patient.

  “How did you find me?” I pushed, ready to drift into slumber, but wanting to know more. My eyes closed, fighting the darkness.

  “Some fishermen find you. My husband was with them. They went to fish on boat at sea and saw you. They brought you here and I must look after you.”

  “Thank you.” My voice trailed off and I was out to it.

  ***

  Night had settled in when I stirred again. An insistent prodding on my arm brought me out of my deep slumber. A silhouette hovered over me, pulling a scream from my mouth as I tried to scramble under the covers.

  “Wake up! Time for you to eat.”

  I woke with a start. Jasmine? Feeling a little silly, I poked my head out of the blanket to let my eyes focus in on her. Without electricity it was a little hard, but as my eyes adjusted I could make out the firm set of her mouth and pinched eyebrows.

  “I’m sorry. You scared me! What time is it?”

  “Dinner time.” She lifted two bowls off the end of the bed and stood patiently, as if waiting for me to sit up.

  “Uhh, I don’t think I can manage sitting,” I whispered.

  “Move up bed and lean against bamboo head.”

  Okay. No compassion for the weak, but that’s okay. I would show her. Using my arms, I scooted up the bed until my shoulders, neck and head were resting on the hard bamboo. I wasn’t sitting but it would be enough to let the food pass down without me purging it back up again.

  Jasmine perched on the edge of the bed. She dipped a spoon into one of the bowls and brought it to my mouth. As it neared, I couldn’t exactly make out what it was, but it resembled soup so I opened and took some.

  It was surprisingly good. I could taste sweet potato and what I thought might be carrot. It was easy to swallow and digest. I wasn’t too comfortable with someone feeding me and still had the use of my arms, so I offered Jasmine an out.

  “If you rest the bowl on top of my stomach, I can feed myself.” I hoped I didn’t sound ungrateful, but the expression on Jasmine’s face wasn’t exactly welcoming. In fact, if I didn’t know better, I’d say the whole idea of feeding a stranger wasn’t high up on her ‘want to do’ list.

  “Okay. I put bowls here and come back soon to pick up.” With that she placed two bamboo bowls on top of me and left without another word.

  I watched her sashay though the forest, leaving me alone again. I hadn’t thought she would actually leave. I figured she would stay in case I needed any help and maybe chat. I guess she did have better things to do. It would have been nice to feel welcomed to my new home instead of being made to feel a burden.

  I ate all the soup and placed the bowl on the ground before eating some of the fruit that was in the other. Berries, coconut, and a banana. Nice. I ate a few berries and coconut and left the banana, since I was feeling full. It was nice to have something in my stomach again and have a roof over my head, even if there were no walls.

  Inching down the bed again, I let me head fall down and my eyes closed. Eating had drained me, so it was time for another nap.

  ***

  The sky was lightening when I next woke so I assumed I’d slept right through. I enjoyed the sounds of nature surrounding me. It was comforting to know I was on dry land with people. I wondered how many others lived on the island and how big it was. Judging by the hut I was recovering in, not too big.

  I propped up on my elbows to see how strong I was today and was surprised that I could hold the position longer than I did yesterday. The food I’d eaten must have given me more strength. I was grateful for any improvement.

  I lay for some time just enjoying the fact that I was alive and safe. It truly had been a miracle that I had been found by the fisherman otherwise I don’t think I would have survived another day.

  If I got to see the people who had rescued me, I would need to thank them.

  As soon as possible I’d need to call home and let everyone know I was okay. My mother would go to meet me at the airport only to find that the flight never arrived. She’d be devastated and then have to find the strength to tell my father when he was already in hospital in a terrible state. Shit! I hated the fact that on top of everything they were going through they would be receiving news of my death. I ached deeply at the thought and the further pain it would cause them. They just didn’t deserve any of this.

  I would need to try and contact Kyle too, but seeing as my cell phone was at the bottom of the ocean and I didn’t know his number by heart, it would be a little tricky.

  I missed him so much. In my head, I began to visualize our special place again, just as I’d done while alone out at sea. It was the place where I felt the closest to him and could feel his presence with me.

  I vowed to find my way back to him and live the life I had always dreamed of. I would fight for him. As retarded as things seemed at the moment, I had survived a plane crash. What were the odds of that happening? Surely, finding my way back to Kyle would be a piece of cake.

  Had he found my note yet in my hut on Sapphire Island? What had his reaction been? I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when he picked it up and realized it was from me. I’m so glad I wrote it now in light of everything.

  I heard a rustle in the trees and lifted my head to see Jasmine appear. She was carrying more food. Breakfast. What sort of food would be on offer for the most important meal of the day on an island that seemed, rather…primitive?

  “Hello,” I offered, as Jasmine walked over to the bed and placed the bowl beside me. It was fruit. Not that I was complaining but I was used to something a
little more substantial like cereal or toast. I gathered there would be no morning or afternoon teas, so fruit was probably not going to keep me going until lunch but I didn’t complain.

  Ignoring Jasmine’s snub at my greeting, I gave her a courteous, “Thank you.”

  I received a nod in reply which I thought was a bit rude but better than not acknowledging me at all.

  She turned as if to leave again but I caught her with a question. “Please! Can you tell me where I can call my folks to tell them I’m alive and okay? My cell phone was lost in the crash and my mother will be frantic.”

  “Phone? You want to use telephone?”

  Now I was getting somewhere with her.

  “Yes! Or maybe if I gave you the number you could call for me and let her know what has happened and that I’m recovering?”

  It was worth a shot, but judging by the look on her face, she wasn’t as thrilled as I was about the idea.

  “We not have phone on island.”

  Someone could have just fired a pellet gun into my arm I was so taken aback. No phones? Where the hell was I? Who didn’t have phones these days?

  I could feel a panic attack coming on at the realization that I was in the middle of nowhere with possibly no way to contact the outside world.

  Things just took a severe nose-dive.

  “You’re kidding me? You have no phones at all? What about internet? You know, Wi-Fi?”

  Maybe I could email my folks.

  Jasmine now looked confused, which was starting to alarm me to the point of vomiting.

  “No, I don’t know what you say. We don’t have internet…or…Wi-Fi.”

  Great! Juuuuust great! I covered my face with both hands, feeling the gravity of my situation weigh me down.

  “Then how am I meant to contact anyone to tell them I’m still alive?” I sounded like a squealing pig.