Losing You (Finding You Series Book 2)

by Amanda Mackey

  Our regular table overlooked the back gardens. Private, just the way we liked it.

  Not long after we sat, a waiter appeared, ready to take our order.

  “We’ll have our usual, thanks, George. My son Kyle may need a little while, so please be patient while he goes over the menu, thanks.”

  “Certainly, Joseph,” replied the waiter, pausing with his pen and pad.

  Not needing not a large meal, the curried chicken and rice with spiced vegetables would suffice for me, just enough to take the edge off and subdue my rumbling stomach. I’d practically had everything on the menu and the curried chicken was my favorite.

  Crispy poppadums led into the main course. No tables were empty, which reflected on the quality of the food. Service was prompt and the food always fresh.

  So far I was holding it together okay as the wine started flowing. I wasn’t totally comfortable but I was coping better than I thought I would.

  “We’re glad you came, son.” Dad placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

  “Me too. I really mean that. It’s good to get out. I’m sorry I’ve been moping around all this time. I guess with the grueling filming schedule and the shock of Dakota’s death, it all just got on top of me.”

  “We love you Kyle, and we’ll always be here for you.”

  “I know and I appreciate all you do for me.”

  Parents didn’t get much better than the two I had. I wouldn’t be who I was today without the love and support of both parents. Things could have been so different if I’d been born into another family. I looked at them both. The way Dad’s arm casually hung over the back of my mom’s chair, which had been pulled in closer. The way their conversation flowed like a gentle stream. They were still so into each other, it was transparently overt.

  Our meals were brought out after a short time and as usual the chef had outdone himself. Even though I hadn’t been hungry earlier, my stomach grumbled as I sniffed in the flavorsome spices. Conversation stopped as the three of us tucked in like starving dogs.

  The break in dialogue had me focus on other diners for the first time since we’d arrived. My presence at the restaurant had only caused mild hysteria and whispers among a couple of diners, nothing that ruffled my feathers too much.

  That’s why it was such a great place to eat. I didn’t have to worry about cameras clicking all the time or people coming up asking for autographs. Not that I didn’t accept that as part of my job, but sometimes it could be an invasion of privacy.

  Glancing to the right, long brown hair caught my eye. My posture instinctively stiffened, senses sharpening, heart imploding. The length and color of it. The shape of the head. Even the clothes. I couldn’t be sure, but sitting with her back to me at another table was Dakota. The more I looked at her with her long, shiny bangs, the more energized I grew. My heart seemed to stop beating and my breath was stolen.

  Without a word I rose from the table, leaving a mystified set of parents in my wake. I stood directly behind her, pausing. A floral scent of her perfume wafted up my nose. Not her usual choice but maybe she’d changed it. I wanted to grab her in my arms right there and then but I realized I was still in the restaurant. She sat with another female, who offered a smirk at me, bemused.

  The silliness of it all didn’t register. I couldn’t believe it was her! She didn’t die! It had all been a mistake! Was that why I couldn’t move on? Was that why she was in my dreams, nightmares and everything in between? Because she was still alive?

  “Dakota! Oh dear god! I can’t believe it’s you! You’re alive! You’ve come here looking for me and now you’ve found me. I’m here, beautiful girl.”

  The stunning creature twisted around and looked at me as if I was some kind of raving maniac.

  My mouth dropped. It felt like every last drop of blood had collected in my cheeks as my heart broke in places it hadn’t before. It wasn’t her! But I’d been so sure. It had looked exactly like her. Now as I searched her puzzled face, the resemblance vanished. My body turned to stone. I knew people were looking.

  The woman must have recognized me and used her only chance wisely.

  “I’m not Dakota, but you’re quite welcome to come and join my friend and me for a couple of drinks if you like.”

  I had already switched off. Her voice evaporated into thin air as I skulked back to my chair, slumping forward, aware of the cruel sting of judgmental eyes burning my back.

  “I’m sorry, Kyle,” was all Mom could manage, having watched the events unfold. I couldn’t look at her and see the regret in her eyes.

  I felt a panic attack bubbling away and needed to go. I couldn’t be in this room now with the sudden thick tension that hung in the air around our table.

  I snatched up my jacket that I’d thrown over the back of my chair earlier and excused myself.

  “I’m sorry, Mom and Dad. I can’t do this. I have to get out of here. I don’t think this was such a good idea after all. I’ll see you at home. I need to get some fresh air.” I threw fifty bucks on the table to help cover the cost of the meal and wine.

  The night was over, just like that. No dessert, no coffee. I’d tried and I’d failed. My dad was right. I was hanging on too tight. It’s just that I didn’t know how to loosen my grip.

  A cab was waiting outside. I told the driver to head to the ocean.

  “Any beach will do as long as it’s got surf and sand.”

  The driver set his meter and lurched into the night.

  “You from around here?” he asked me.

  “Yeah, I live in the city.”

  “Ain’t you that guy that’s been in all the papers lately?”

  Okay, where was this going? Did the guy want an autograph?

  “Mmm hmm.” Go on, say it!

  “Weren’t you connected to a girl in that plane crash recently? Terrible tragedy, that was. Can’t tell yer enough how sorry I am. All those innocent folks. Just a crying shame, man. Look, I’ll tell ya what. This ride is on the house. Autograph the back of your ticket for my daughter and we’ll call it even.”

  Whatever. Just let me out. Take my scratchy scrawl and go! Get on with things! I can’t talk about this.

  When we pulled into the parking lot at the beach, I signed my name with a couple of kisses and a love heart and exited at light speed, giving the driver no time to say anything else. The cab lingered with the interior light on, then backfired and stalled as the driver tried to pick up speed to get in front of a truck, before re-starting and tearing off.

  I had to walk a fair way to find a spot where I could be alone. In California the beaches were barely vacant in the twenty-four hour stretch and why should they be? During the day locals and tourists sunbathed and swam and at night revelers came out to party.

  Closing my eyes, I let myself be with Dakota, my mind generating a real sense of togetherness and for the longest while I sat on the sand, enjoying the life-like movie that was playing in his head, letting the numbness disappear. I needed to feel as if we were still together. It was the only thing that made me smile and feel whole. Reality was too painful for me so I escaped into a make believe fantasy.

  Chapter Ten

  Dakota

  Jasmine deferentially collected me for dinner as promised, although I knew it was just a temporary arrangement and that tomorrow I’d be on my own.

  My little jaunt earlier had left me with some semblance of direction. The island was bigger than it appeared, yet only a tenth the size of Sapphire Island. A person would easily be able to walk the circumference in a day. I hadn’t gone too far as fatigue soon set in and I hadn’t wanted to get lost, but it had been heaven to be mobile again and leave the small space I had been bound to for weeks.

  Jasmine led the way to what I hoped was nothing short of a feast as the sun was all but gone, leaving only enough light filtering through to find our way.

  I stopped short when I entered a clearing. There had to be sixty people or more. A small city! Where had all these people come fr
om? Elderly, middle-aged, down to Daniel’s age. All busy with a job to assist with the smooth running of dinner preparation. Small huts lined the outside of the clearing, where fruit cleaning and cutting was underway. Two men cooked a large ocean fish over an open fire shrouded in rocks. It was a hive of activity. Women busied themselves carrying food over to the tables, some cleaning. Some moving chairs about. All heads turned when Jasmine and I broke through the shrubbery. I felt like an alien about to undergo lab testing. Was there an extra head growing from my shoulders? It would appear so. Most of these people would never have seen a white girl before so for the first time in my life, I actually was an alien. Why hadn’t I seen any of these people before? Or heard them?

  I settled at the closest end of the table to my escape route.

  “This be your permanent place at table. Everyone here has own places so don’t forget yours. Now, do you remember how to get back to hut on your own? Do you think you be able to manage it without my help?”

  I knew that was coming.

  Not wanting Jasmine to get the better of me, I held my head high and proclaimed, “Of course I can. I’ll be fine. Thank you for all your help.”

  Happy with that, Jasmine turned and went to take a place at the table between Daniel and her husband. What a gruff man! His face nursed a pitiable scowl. His eyes were mean. I had seen eyes like those before. Bile rose to my throat.

  Daniel stole a glance in my direction for a brief second, smiling and looking away again before I could smile back. He was on his best behavior in front of his parents. The youngster sat up straight with his hands on his lap, trying hard not to do or say anything. I knew the drill well.

  A nagging feeling came over me as I watched the kid. If I looked hard enough I could almost see him shaking. A flashback came. Being too afraid to speak in front of John for fear of saying the wrong thing. Wanting to speak but not knowing what to say.

  For an instant I wondered if Daniel was scared of his father for the same reasons, recalling the bruise on his arm. He had acted strangely when questioned about it and Jasmine had banned him from visiting me.

  Praying there was another reason, I dished out a pile of rice and vegetables and gobbled it down mindlessly. It was great to have an appetite back again and to be able to eat anything without putting on weight. My friends in high school had all been jealous as they yo-yo dieted and fasted. I seemed to have a very quick metabolism thank goodness because I really enjoyed food.

  The bamboo burners enclosing the table lit the area up, like daylight. Time had been lost since I arrived. The only schedule I would need to keep would be the dining schedule. It would be a terrible shame to miss out on all the splendid cuisine. Breakfast was at the first sign of light, so that would be easy to remember and dinner was at the last sign of light but lunch would be tricky.

  If I can get Daniel alone, I’ll arrange something with him. A wolf-whistle. Code word. Anything.

  With my stomach full, I remained at the table until most people had eaten and disappeared back to their huts. It had been an odd meal in many ways. No one had approached me or communicated, other than to pass the food bowls around. Hard eyes had watched me, waiting for a snippet or insight into my alien world. If only a spaceship had hovered overhead and beamed me up right after dessert. I didn’t feel comfortable at all. What were these people thinking? Fair enough most of them didn’t speak English but a smile or two would have made me a little less edgy.

  Daniel scrutinized me sitting tightly, offering a softened expression as he was led away with some resistance. His concerned eyes lingered in my mind after he vanished.

  I am going to find out his secrets, one way or another before I leave for Los Angeles.

  There was no grand plan yet but it would surely come.

  Rising after everyone had departed and getting pretty damn cocky with my new walking sticks, I eased away from the clearing and into the jungle.

  A laugh escaped me from deep within at my predicament.

  I came back from the dead back in Australia and then found the love of my life on an island in the middle of nowhere. I left the love of my life to return to that (and I’m sure you’re all green with envy) wondrous life back home but never made it because my plane crashed. I was the only survivor. If that wasn’t a miracle in itself, I then floated at sea for days with no food or water, chased by a shark who turned out to be my friend because he didn’t eat me. I was rescued by another monster who may be beating his own son and taken to an island even more remote than the first with a gammy leg, using bamboo crutches.

  It all sounded a little surreal. Movie surreal. In fact, if it hadn’t been my life, I would have picked it for a massive dollop of baloney!

  The greatest gift that had been salvaged out of it all was my sense of humor. It was easy to look back and laugh now but there were some truly pensive, hairy moments at different times where my sense of humor had gone into hiding.

  Whizzing around, a noise threatened to throw me off balance. My neck craned sideways to hone in on it. There! Feet crunching, dry leaves. I wasn’t alone. A shadow emerged from the bushes.

  My body turned to ice. Was somebody watching me? Following me? Was it Daniel’s father? Had he found out about our secret visits?

  “Who is it?” I really didn’t want to hear the answer.

  “It’s me, Daniel! I thought you might need some help.” He moved into the moonlight.

  Relief washed over me. His small, expressionless face was my only solace here on the island. It would be a lonely existence, otherwise. I let my jaw fall slack to stop grinding my teeth.

  “Thank you. It’s okay, though. I think I’m finally getting the hang of these things. You really shouldn’t have come. I’ll get you in trouble.”

  What I didn’t mention was that it was a blessing in disguise to see him because at the fork in the path, I’d forgotten if my hut was to the right or left. Everything looked the same.

  “I won’t stay long. I just wanted to make sure you got back to your hut.”

  What a sweet boy! No one else had bothered, as they’d left me sitting at the dining table while they’d scampered off into the bushes. Not one person had offered to help. How rude! Was Daniel the only respectful, civilized human being around? Surely even with a language barrier I would have understood the actions of some of the others if they’d come over to help me.

  Veering to the right at the fork, we reached my hut in no time. I made a mental note about the right turn for breakfast.

  Then before I could think about it too much, a plaguing question shot out.

  “How’s everything going?” I couldn’t tell if he’d gauged its underlying meaning.

  “Good.” I knew he was lying, catching the crack in his voice as he spoke and the flicker of his eyes downward.

  It was too late to stop now. “Is everything okay with your family, Daniel? I realize you don’t know me very well, but you can tell me if anything has happened to you at home. It’s okay. I won’t say anything.”

  The deathly silence had me questioning my ethics and why I was so damn hell bent on searching for drama that may not exist. It was an uncomfortable stillness that required backpedaling to go into damage control.

  “It’s okay! You don’t have to answer me. It’s none of my business. I’m sorry for asking.” The last thing I needed was to push away my only ally. I needed him and in some ways he may have needed me. It appeared I was the only person on the island who cared.

  His shoulders relaxed a little before he inched over to me and put his arms around me. It was a short hug but one that both shocked and charmed me.

  “I’ll see you at breakfast! If you don’t make it in time I’ll bring some leftovers to you. It may not be until a bit later though, as I’ll have to find time to sneak away.”

  The boy was hungry for affection. For some reason he trusted me. Not enough yet to open up, but maybe sometime soon.

  That night in bed I tossed and turned, struggling to fathom what was g
oing on in little Daniel’s life. Was it too bold to assume that he was being beaten? The signs were there. I just needed confirmation. It was a touchy subject that would need to be dealt with deftly. Time was of the essence to build up his trust and friendship. He needed to know he had an ally. Someone he could count on.

  Having been in the same situation, I knew what I was dealing with—or did I?

  God, could I be so far off the mark? I don’t know these people any more than they know me. Kids hurt themselves all the time. An angry dad doesn’t mean an abusive one. Jasmine is curt. So what?

  There was a tightness in my chest just thinking of it. It kept sleep away.

  I would be leaving in another month and would probably never see Daniel again. I could be abandoning a young boy to face his demons alone.

  A plan was needed. We would need to spend more time together without anyone knowing. It seemed like an impossible task but it was a challenge I was up for now that I was on the mend. Daniel needed a voice: Someone who could face his parents, whatever the consequences, and talk some sense into Jasmine if need be. If there were violence within the family, the woman would surely have to know about it.

  Those were my last thoughts before I finally drifted off into a deep sleep. Sweet dreams came.

  In the land of make believe, I was walking down the aisle to marry Kyle. My leg was entirely healed as if the accident had never happened and my father was there to give me away. I wore a striking ivory satin gown with a long train flowing on the red carpet. White gypsophila laced my dark ringlets. I bawled like a baby walking towards my soul mate, who looked good enough to eat in his black tuxedo.

  He whispered, “I love you,” as I neared, and just when we were about to join hands, I awoke.

  Where was that crying coming from? Had it been in my dream? Someone in the church maybe? It was the closest I’d been to jubilation since being in Kyle’s arms eons ago.