Losing You (Finding You Series Book 2)

by Amanda Mackey

  “I’m glad to hear that. You must be very smart to be going to law school.”

  “I guess. It’s something I’ve always been interested in. I’m merely following the dream. You have to do what you have to do to make that happen.” When she smiled at me her face lit up. She was pretty.

  It was clear that this girl was not a blonde bimbo. I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge. She was a very intelligent young woman trying to pay her way through college.

  Holding out her hand, I took it as she introduced herself. “I’m Jodie, as you probably already know.”

  “Kyle.”

  “Well, nice to meet you, Kyle. I’m officially off duty now, so can I buy you a drink?”

  I really needed to get going but didn’t want to come across as rude. She seemed like a nice girl. Easy to talk to and easy on the eyes. Not that I was looking, but the way she was dressed it was hard not to notice the oozing cleavage and long legs. Shit, what the hell was I doing?

  “Yeah, sure. That would be great.” One for the road, I guess. It wouldn’t hurt, and besides, it’s not like I had to work the next day.

  “What are you drinking?”

  “Coors. Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  I watched her go, trying to arrange my feelings about letting her buy me a drink. There was nothing wrong with it, was there? I wasn’t cheating. Part of me felt like I was, but at the end of the day I couldn’t be cheating when the person I loved most in the world was dead. God. I used to tell Dakota to stop overthinking things. I needed to take my own advice.

  Jodie returned with my beer and a glass of white wine for herself. She settled in next to me, angling herself to face me, our knees touching.

  “How long have you and Kurt been friends?” she asked.

  “Pretty much all our lives. We grew up in the same neighborhood and went to the same school. Our moms are still friendly. I’ve been away filming so I lost touch with Kurt. He surprised me earlier in the week with a visit, asking if I wanted to come to his stag night. So here I am.”

  “Wow! That’s great that you’ve been friends for so long. You don’t hear of it much now because LA is very transient.”

  She was moving her hand up and down the wine glass unconsciously as she spoke and something low in my belly stirred that I knew shouldn’t be.

  I darted my eyes away, watching the crowd mingle around me, hating myself for my reaction. What the effing hell was wrong with me?

  Taking a swig of beer, I let my eyes meet Jodie’s. She was watching me. Had she seen my reaction to her hand movement? Her eyes were dark chocolate in color and with her smoky eye-shadow accentuating their shape, I couldn’t help but stare for a moment. Her bleached-blonde hair didn’t go with the rest of her face. I pictured her as a brunette and decided that if she returned to what I imagined was her natural color, she’d be quite stunning.

  Feeling myself drowning, I pulled back. “So. Tell me more about yourself,” I blurted out in a rush, moving my eyes to my glass of beer.

  “There’s not much to know. I’m 26. Have lived in LA my whole life. My mom and dad separated when I was ten. I’ve lived with my mom ever since and haven’t heard from my dad at all. I have two sisters and a brother, all of which are older than me, so I’m the baby of the family.”

  “Your mom had her hands full, especially with your dad gone when you were so young.”

  “My mom is great. She’s always worked two jobs to support us and still somehow managed to find time to be at important events throughout our lives. She’s my hero.”

  I could see the admiration in her eyes as she spoke of her mother and found myself warming to this woman even more. I was enjoying being out and talking to someone other than my folks.

  I’m glad I came. Tonight had broken the ice on my grieving spell and allowed me to see that things were going to get better. I was feeling it already.

  Jodie and I chatted a bit longer before I decided to leave. It was now 1.45 a.m. and the combination of beer and fatigue was starting to show.

  “I hate to be a party-pooper but I’m going to head out. It’s getting late.”

  Jodie looked at her watch and agreed. “I should go too. I have an exam coming up and need to spend the day tomorrow studying. I’ll be wrecked if I don’t leave soon.”

  I stood up. “It was nice meeting you. Good luck with your studies.” We shook hands again. I held onto hers a little longer than I should have, enjoying the softness and warmth.

  “You too. If you get lonely, here’s my phone number. Give me a call sometime and maybe we could go out and have a coffee somewhere. That’s not a come on or anything. You seem like a nice guy and I’d genuinely like to get to know you.”

  She dug into her purse for a pen then she scribbled her number down on a cardboard drink coaster. I put it in my pocket, wondering if I’d ever call her.

  We parted ways and I found Kurt so that I could say goodbye. He swayed, more than a little under the weather.

  “I’m going to go now, Kurt. Thanks for a great night. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  “Thanks for comin’,” slurred the drunk host, his bloodshot eyes attempting to focus on me. “I see you found a little friend, hey?”

  “We just spoke for a while, that’s all. She gave me her number and said to call her sometime if I’m not busy.”

  “Whoa! Way to go! You are going to call her, aren’t you?”

  “Maybe. I’ll see how I feel. Right now all I can think of is getting some sleep, so I’ll give you a call shortly, okay?”

  “Okay, buddy. Here, give your old pal a hug goodbye.”

  I acted as a leaning post as Kurt attempted a hug. Beer spilled in a pool at our feet as we embraced.

  “I love you, man,” Kurt gushed, clinging onto me for dear life. “My old friend. Do you realize how long we’ve known each other?”

  Dear God. Now was not the time for a trip down memory lane. “Yeah, buddy. A long time. I love you too, but I really gotta go.”

  Looking to the guy behind Kurt, I pried my friend off me and turned him to the preppy looking dude, pleading with my eyes for him to take my drunk friend off my hands.

  As soon as Kurt saw the guy, he sang, “Craig. How you doing, buddy?” I was quickly forgotten, thankfully, so I made a quick exit.

  I was thankful to see my apartment. It was exactly like I’d left it, with the drapes pulled and the brochures of Sapphire Island still strewn over the coffee table. I moved over to the table and flicked through some of them, bringing back memories that were beginning to seem long ago.

  “Please forgive me, Dakota, for taking another woman’s phone number. You would want me to be happy, I know you would, and I can’t mourn forever. I wish it didn’t have to be this way. You should be here with me asking me how my night was, following me to bed, where I could hold you and keep you safe.”

  Ripping up the brochures, I threw them into the kitchen trash. Maybe it was time to close this chapter of my life and allow a new one to be opened. The worst was over. Tomorrow was a new day. It was time to start again.

  It was good to be back in my comfortable bed and smell the familiar smells that I associated with home. My feather pillow molded to my head and neck as it always had, enabling me to fall into a deep sleep.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Dakota

  Days turned into weeks. Daniel and I had been hiding out in the cave for nearly a month. We knew it to be this long from the medieval calendar Daniel had etched into the wall of the cave using a rock. There were twenty-eight lines. No one had come looking for us yet.

  The cave wasn’t much but it was dry and safe. Its position guarded us against the westerly winds that blew up frequently on the island.

  Daniel was amazing. He did everything he could and didn’t seem to mind. We had become like mother and son. I felt the strong need to protect him and in return he felt the strong need to assist me in any way he could.

  I fina
lly learned that the island was called Ragged Island in English—something I hadn’t bothered to ask previously. Its name seemed apt. It was very ragged, just like me. While my strength was much better, I knew my appearance had deteriorated greatly. I almost didn’t feel human any more.

  We gave each other the space we needed to contemplate things. He would fish and I would sit far enough away to watch. The pain in his dark eyes returned on those occasions. A boy, lost and broken. A boy that still had a mother and father, and a history, good or bad. They were tied together forever. A bond he was trying to sever.

  Periodically, I would ask him, “Do you want to talk about anything? You know I’m always here for you if you need to get something off your chest.”

  His answer never progressed from a simple shake of the head. It bothered me a lot, as I wanted to help him. I wanted to be able to ease his heartache, but having walked in his shoes, I knew he would open up when he felt like it. It wasn’t something that was easy to talk about and it always brought very frightening emotions to the surface. Daniel wasn’t ready to deal with those yet.

  The joy I felt at leaving in three days couldn’t be described in words. I was going back to life as I knew it. Everything I had loved and known would be returned to me. My family’s grief would cease. That alone was enough.

  Daniel would be raised like my own child. No matter what transpired with Kyle, there would be someone in my life to love and nurture.

  I was tempted to go to Jasmine and ask for her approval to take Daniel. After all, I was no abductor. It was the right thing to do. If we left with no word, she may worry. I wasn’t sure to what extent she knew about Daniel’s beatings with his father but I failed to believe she was all bad. Trouble was, we couldn’t run into the beast that had forced us into hiding. It would be too risky to go back to the village. There was no other way but to leave quietly with the supply helicopter.

  That would be another hurdle. Explaining why I was leaving with Daniel. Over the next couple of days I would need to think up a pretty darn good excuse as to why I was taking him off the island. We’d just have to cross that bridge when we came to it.

  Kyle’s image was becoming hazy now, his features indistinct. I’d committed to memory his kisses and warm arms around me, but his face was blurry. Time was smudging it away. We needed to see each other again to renew our love. Our time together seemed so long ago.

  It was imperative to get proper medical attention and gain the full use of my leg back, if that was even possible after so much time. The nerves and tendons might be beyond repair and who knew what other damage had been done. The bamboo crutches I had been using would hardly suffice in the real world.

  We huddled against the walls of the cave that night, talking about our big trip.

  “Are you excited to be leaving the island?” I was fishing for information as to whether I was doing the right thing. I had days where my doubts would override all else. Maybe I shouldn’t have involved myself so much, but the thought of leaving him to deal with the abuse while I left and got on with my life was more than I could stomach.

  “Yes. I can’t wait.” He was quiet for a moment before he asked, “Where will we live?”

  Even I wasn’t sure at that point. I had to find Kyle. That was my priority. As much as I hated shunning my parents and not returning to Australia as I originally planned, I felt that if I didn’t get to Kyle, it could be too late to salvage what we had. He would meet someone else and fall in love. I couldn’t bear that thought.

  “I’m not sure about when we get to LA, but our first stop is Sapphire Island. I’m hoping the kind people there will have a room for us to stay in until we can organize our flights to America. We’ll need to get some new clothes and a few things, so I’ll have to wait for money to be wired across.”

  “Will they like me?”

  “Who?”

  “Everyone.”

  I rose and moved over to the other side of our small shelter and took Daniel in my arms to appease his fear. “Of course! They’ll love you. Trust me. Not all children are as well-mannered as you. You’ve got so much to offer.”

  “Okay. I was just wondering.”

  I couldn’t help but stress over the fact that he really did have low self-esteem through no fault of his own. He was scared no one would like him. I was positive he would fit in perfectly.

  We didn’t say anything more. I could hear his breathing become slow and steady and knew he’d drifted off to sleep while I held him.

  I leaned my head back against the hard wall and closed my eyes, dreaming of my new life ahead.

  ***

  Early next morning, while Daniel was fishing out of view from the cave and I was squatting over a rock pool watching small fish swimming about, a rough hand grabbed me around the throat from behind, the other one pulling me up, covering my mouth to terminate a scream.

  The large brown calloused fingers hindered my breathing as I was dragged back through the sand for a few feet.

  My hands came to my throat and mouth, trying to escape the vise-like grip he had on me but he was too strong.

  There was only one person it could be. He’d found us.

  I tried to scream into the chubby fingers but they had a perfect seal over my mouth.

  His hold on my throat intensified, cutting off my airway totally. He had been watching us. He’d chosen the perfect moment. He’d waited until Daniel was out of sight and couldn’t help me. He’d come for me and would no doubt take me out and then go for Daniel.

  Shit. We’d spent weeks hiding out. He could have struck at any stage but he had chosen two days before our departure. It was almost as if he’d been waiting all this time on purpose.

  Don’t come back yet, Daniel, pleeeeaaase! Don’t come back yet! Keep fishing!

  He was too strong for me this time without the crutches as a weapon. They lay on the sand ten feet away.

  I had to think of a way to break free and get to them. I couldn’t fight him without them. I was too unsteady on my feet.

  Suddenly everything came flooding back. A horrible feeling of having been in this very situation. At the mercy of someone who could break me into a thousand tiny pieces if they chose.

  The memory of the last night I spent with John came rushing back. Him dragging me to my doom. Me desperately trying to find a way to escape.

  What had I done then? How had I tried to fight? Think!

  And then it came to me. My hands reached for his crotch, ripping at it hard, weakening his grip over my mouth so I could bite and draw blood.

  He gritted his teeth, loosening his hold, but not enough for me to escape. I needed to do it harder.

  My head was woozy from lack of oxygen. I would only get one more chance. This was it. I balled my hand into a fist and found my target. My vision started to blur and stars floated in front of my eyes. His clutch weakened enough for me to gasp in a couple of deep breaths and hop a full 360 degrees so that we faced each other like worthy opponents. I was swaying with dizziness but there was no way in hell this was going to end here for me. Not when I had fought so hard to survive the past twelve months of my life.

  Before I could act, Daniel’s father jabbed me in the side of the head, throwing me off balance and down in a heap. The swooning blackness threatened to plunge me into unconsciousness. My head was exploding with a stabbing pain. The sun burned my skin as a black shadow loomed over me. I would fight to the end if that’s what I had to do.

  I waited for him to close in so I could reach out. My head was spinning wildly like a fairground ride, but I fought it all the way, determined not to black out. As he stooped down, probably to pick up my pathetic heap of a body and toss me into the water, I seized his leg with both hands and bit hard, leaving a mouth print and more blood. He kicked me off him, landing one in my stomach. I coughed and gulped in air, knowing my crutches were that little bit closer but still out of reach.

  I was losing the battle. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep fighting. My
half-healed leg was twisted beneath me, pain shooting through me, but I had to ignore it. My hands pushed off the sand in an attempt to stand as I mentally apologized to my body for what I was about to do. Gritting my teeth and screaming out as my injured leg took some of the weight, I shakily stood. Daniel’s father was on me in seconds, lifting me by both arms and throwing me onto the nearby rocks. They gashed my arm and grazed my skin under the dress. Fire erupted along my spine at the point of contact. This was bad.

  I hoped Daniel hadn’t heard my earlier screams. He needed to hide from this insane madman. I didn’t want to think what would happen if Daniel showed up now.

  I could feel wet liquid beneath the pretty fabric of Jasmine’s dress and hoped they were just surface wounds.

  I’m dead. I’m fucking dead! I was going to Kyle in a couple of days and I am effing dead!

  My love’s perfect face, as hazy as it had become over these past weeks, suddenly came back into focus and strong in my mind. His piercing eyes, willing me to find something deep within that I wasn’t aware I had. Each contour of his face solidified into the image that I had all but forgotten. As if speaking to me, I could hear the words, “Fight, beautiful girl. Don’t give up! Use that inner strength I know you possess and kick some butt!”

  A low snarl erupted out of my mouth as I turned. Kyle’s voice was clear and strong, pulling every shred of my will together, my body beyond the fight, my mind taking over. There was no way in hell after all I’d been through that anyone was going to stop me from leaving this island. I was at breaking point.

  “Bring it, asshole,” I ground out, daring him to strike. Something wild had been let loose and I could feel its power. Consuming rage leached from my pores, possessing me.

  The death stare aimed at Daniel’s father faltered his mission only a nanosecond. As he reached over to me, I flattened my back, grimacing as the barnacle covered rock bit into my skin. With both legs, knowing the agony that would come, I lifted them as high as I could and kicked him in the chest, thrusting him backwards, where he stumbled and fell. Unable to keep silent, I howled out, pushing myself off the rock and dropping to my knees, waiting and watching, my breath heaving in my chest.