Losing You (Finding You Series Book 2)

by Amanda Mackey

  “Are you sure it will fit? It’s really lovely but there’s not much to it.”

  “Kyle likes short dresses and I think he’ll be absolutely speechless when he sees you in this.”

  “I just wish I didn’t have to hobble around on these crutches. They don’t exactly go with the dress.” I downplayed the injury. Cheryl had a chuckle, making light of the situation.

  “Well, that’s just a minor hiccup that we’ll get remedied first thing on Monday morning. I’m sure we’ll have you running around in no time. Go and try it on and give me a look when you’re done.”

  I took some privacy in the bathroom to make an unbiased decision about the dress. I wanted to look stunning for Kyle. I wanted him to forget his date and remember why he’d fallen in love with me. Would he still see the same woman or would he see someone who had changed too much? A stranger. In less than three hours, I’d know my fate.

  There was a knock at the door and Cheryl popped her head through.

  “Can I come in?”

  “Yeah, I’m ready.”

  She brought a hand to her mouth. “Oh Dakota, it looks better on you than it does on me. When I’m finished with you, all the men tonight will have their eyes popping out of their heads. Come over here and let me do your makeup.”

  And so Cheryl went to work. Primer and foundation first and then with smoky, sultry eyes in mocha tones and lipstick to match, hair scrunched dry and playfully carefree, the makeover was complete. Cheryl was so pleased with the finished result that she called in Joseph and Daniel to see her handiwork.

  “Joseph, Daniel, come here please! I have someone I want you to meet.”

  Seconds later footsteps padded down the hallway. When the door opened, they wolf whistled in unison.

  “Well, well. What a beauty! You’ll be the bell of the ball,” said Joseph. Daniel came over and threw his arms around me. “You look like a princess.”

  I kissed him on the cheek and hugged him all the harder, glad that he was with me on my journey. “You will turn into a young prince when you go and get changed.”

  The time was getting on, leaving everyone else just enough time to get their own clothes on and eat some of the divine casserole, simmering on the stove.

  A clap of thunder struck hard and then a light spray of rain hit the roof. Hopefully not a bad omen.

  Daniel led me back into Kyle’s room to help him get dressed. Joseph had found a smart shirt and tie with identical pants. Not quite the correct size but all that was available at such short notice. The baggy trousers hid behind the buttoned shirt. I rolled up the ends of the sleeves slightly so that they didn’t scream ‘orphan.’ Daniel admired himself in the mirror as I lost myself to a photo of Kyle. I wanted him so badly it hurt. I wanted him to look at me with the same desire he had on Sapphire Island.

  Hard, sculpted chest and shoulders. Taut stomach. Heaven was waiting.

  “Hey, don’t go to sleep. How do I look?” Daniel needed confirmation of his appearance.

  “You look very impressive, Daniel. You’ll be able to wear clothes like that all the time now.”

  He put on his shoes and socks and then the picture looked complete. Together, we left Kyle’s room and made our way to the dining room where Joseph and Cheryl already sat. They were just as startled when they saw the change in Daniel. “It’s amazing how clothes can change the look of a person. Daniel, you look quite grown up.”

  He stood proud, soaking up the praise, enjoying the unity of our unexpected family.

  Cheryl’s casserole was worthy of a second helping. Joseph poured some wine for the ladies and a soft drink for Daniel. A celebratory drink was in order after all that I been through. It was a triumphant drink. I had beaten all odds and won the war. I’d fought many a hard battle. Tonight was time to embrace the new direction my life was heading. I was exactly where I wanted to be.

  Our newly formed alliance was eager to get the mission underway. I could tell that Joseph and Cheryl wanted this as badly as I did. All we needed now was the guest of honor.

  “Are we all ready to leave then?” summoned Joseph, pointing to the door.

  He leant into me, placing a placating hand on my back. “Relax! Everything will be just fine. And besides, I know my son and he will have eyes only for you.”

  My heart didn’t flutter any more. It galloped like a racehorse at top speed. I tried to breathe through it without much luck.

  “How are you feeling, Dakota?” Cheryl finally asked in the car, breaking the silence.

  A feigned attempt at humor had me blurting out, “Like I’m going to my own funeral.” As excited as I was I was also terrified.

  “You really have nothing to worry about. Once you see each other again you’ll forget nerves, I’m sure.”

  “I feel like I’m on a first date. I’m so scared to see him again. What if he’s over me now and wants to get on with his life? I don’t think I could bear the rejection.”

  “Nonsense! He is still very much in love with you even though he’s letting you rest and attempting to move on. After tonight, everything will be as it was, you’ll see.”

  Good. Keep reassuring me. That’s what I need right now.

  It was starting to get dark as the lights of the city came on, proving to me that we were getting close. Cheryl had asked me questions about myself in an attempt to get to know me a little better. I answered as best I could, grateful that she hadn’t asked if I’d been married before. It was comfortable chatter which helped ease some of my trepidation.

  A grand, majestic building rose into the sky. Media swarmed like bees out the front, waiting for the star of the show.

  Joseph drove around the back to the underground parking garage avoiding the circus, shielding his passengers from a barrage of questions and photos. He flashed the security guard his identification, enabling everyone to follow behind.

  The cinema inside was an impressive display of days gone by, lined with gold ornate carvings on the walls and ceilings. The woolen, jacquard carpet screamed 1960s, yet anything else just wouldn’t have suited.

  Katherine Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart led the gallery of vintage stars down the wide hall towards the three-tiered cinema. The black and white images were entombed forever in their rightful home.

  “Come on, we’ll stand over there so that you can see him enter. We’ll be out of the way. Hopefully he won’t see you yet. We want to do the grand unveiling after the movie.” Joseph ushered our group over to a corner behind a mob of people that would act as our cover.

  I caught the tail end of a conversation nearby. “I can’t wait to see him. He’s to die for. Make sure you have your camera ready.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m not going to miss a thing. I wish I were his date for tonight. Whoever he brings is one lucky woman.”

  I snickered at the fans waiting to see their idol. If only they knew that the lame female on the crutches behind them had been his lover.

  In the blink of an eye the crowd went psycho, screaming and calling out Kyle’s name and it was evident that he’d arrived. I was dizzy and on the verge of a panic attack, anticipating my first glimpse. Camera flashes lit the room as I searched for him. Cheryl snaked an arm over my shoulders to help anchor me.

  Then as if all the clouds had lifted, he stepped forth. Standing in all his magnificence, he was as pleasing to the eye as ever before. Hair cropped short, a new man headed the procession. My darling. There was a yen to push through the crowd and run to him but restraint was vital. This was his moment, not mine. He’d earned the right to this night. To walk the hall of fame as his peers hanging on the walls had done before him.

  None of my life leading up to this point mattered. Now, in the moment, in his very presence, all was forgotten. The abuse. The crash. My fight to survive. All a memory. My soul was opening up again.

  Kyle paused for photos like the gentleman that he was before moving on. He walked the red carpet with grace and ease, flashing that blinding smile to all. I’d kissed those l
ips, felt those teeth graze mine in the heat of passion. I’d touched that freshly shaven jaw line and cried out into those perfect ears. My breasts ached for his touch. I wanted to get lost in him.

  And that’s when I tensed. Walking like a queen to her throne was a beautiful blonde woman looking every bit the glamorous attachment on the arm of a movie star. I had to look away.

  He has every right to be with someone else. He thinks I’m dead. I wonder if they’ve—.

  It was too horrible to consider.

  I should have been the one walking down the red carpet with him. We had talked about it before the crash. Kyle had told me that he couldn’t wait to show me off to the world but he was showing off someone else. My replacement.

  I was overwhelmed. The enormity of the day was starting to bury me and I felt the first tear slither out.

  Daniel tugged on my hand. He must have been watching me, watch Kyle. “Dakota, why are you crying? Are you not having a good time?”

  “I really don’t think I can go through with this. Look at him over there with that other woman. He’s happy. He’s moved on. He’s not going to feel the same when he sees me.”

  “But he is getting on with his life because he thinks you are dead. Am I not right?” he corrected me in a wise old man’s voice.

  “I know but it’s hard to see them together, that’s all. Look at how beautiful she is. Why would he choose me over her?”

  “Because he loves you, that’s why,” interrupted Joseph. “After all that he went through and put us through after your supposed death, you have to let him know you made it. It wouldn’t be fair to keep the truth from him. If he found out you were alive and you hadn’t tried to make contact it would kill him. The girl he’s with is a date. They haven’t even been seeing each other. You need to have faith. Look at you. I know it’s hard for you to see, but trust me, Dakota. You are truly beautiful.”

  I dabbed at my eyes with a tissue Cheryl held out as everyone moved into the cinema. Kyle and his date had gone into a special booth, reserved for the stars of the show. Cheryl and Joseph had chosen regular seats. They didn’t care for preferential treatment. Both of them were from working class backgrounds and that’s the way they liked it.

  The theatre lights dimmed, the heavy, velvet curtain parting, but I barely watched the movie as I felt Kyle’s presence directly above us in the VIP booth. I could feel him everywhere. I wondered if he felt me. Were we really connected?

  No one in the cinema apart from the three individuals beside me knew what was going to unfold ninety-seven minutes from now. They would be on their merry way; the movie just a memory. Only those left behind to attend the party would be privy to the scoop of the decade.

  Chapter Twenty

  Dakota

  Once the movie ended, Daniel, Joseph, Cheryl and I followed the crowd like sheep down another hallway into a convention room that was to hold a party for the crew, family members, and a select few.

  Cheryl hugged me and whispered, “It’s time. We’ll be back in a moment.”

  I didn’t know what to do. I was shaking.

  My back was turned at Joseph’s request so Kyle couldn’t see my face from a distance. Both parents were milking this for all it was worth. They’d never had so much fun before at my expense. I just wanted to get on with it.

  Don’t vomit now. Keep it together. Everything’s going to be fine.

  Through the drone of voices, I overheard Joseph saying, “It’ll only take a moment of your time, son. This fan really wants to meet you. You can go back to Jodie shortly.”

  “Oh my god, this is it! This is crunch time,” I muttered, having to will myself not to throw up everywhere as Cheryl walked over and spun me around.

  Suddenly I was at eye level, swimming in the blue that I never thought I’d see again.

  Kyle dropped his champagne glass, shattering it on the floor, drawing undue attention.

  “See, I told you you’d want to meet this woman,” said Joseph, patting Kyle on the back before backing away and giving his son some space.

  Kyle’s eyes locked onto mine with laser precision, disbelieving. He looked like he needed my crutches for support as he reeled back.

  I savored everything about that moment, not needing anything more. His energy embraced me.

  “Hello, Kyle,” I bubbled, letting the floodgates open. So much emotion burst forth. It was all a mix of anticipation, fear of rejection, time lost, love, relief, and just being in his very presence again. I couldn’t look away, fearful I would miss something.

  He responded, closing in, eyes wide, mouth open. He moved to within a foot of me and stopped. He didn’t say or do anything other than drink me in, blinking rapidly. I let him do it.

  Kyle’s face crumpled with sentiment, tears licking his cheeks.

  “My beautiful girl. Is it really you? You’re alive? What’s going on? How can this be?” His thumb brushed my jaw, pulling away in shock to see me, solid and real and not a trick of the eye.

  The gentleness of his fingers had me close my eyes. To be at a place I had fought so hard to get to lifted me to new heights. I soared in that moment. His touch seared a trail across my face. We could barely see each other through the shower of tears.

  “This is bizarre. Look at you. You’re even more beautiful than I remember.” He sniffled, drawing me to him, oblivious to the crutches that someone took from me. It could have been Daniel. It could have been Cheryl. It didn’t matter. I didn’t need them. Kyle was my anchor. My stability.

  We dissolved into each other like liquid. Touching would never be enough. We needed more. Much more.

  He kissed my tears away and in between sobs, he searched for his own voice. “I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you. You’re a part of me. I died when you died. I tried to go on but I was pretending. God, there wasn’t a minute that went by when I didn’t feel you in some way.” His hands plunged into my hair. Every inch of him was pressed in to me.

  I craved his plush lips. I took. No more talking. There was nothing safe about it. I didn’t want safe. I wanted out of control. I matched his rhythm, tongues tangled and heads alternating to deepen the kiss. I felt his love through that kiss. He wanted me. The raging estrogen was like a wild beast I couldn’t tame. My heart throbbed in time with my groin.

  “Oh Kyle, I love you, too. You saved my life. If it hadn’t been for your love, I’d have given up my will to survive. I was so worried that you would see me again and not want anything to do with me. I’m a cripple.”

  The kiss had left him flushed, pupils dilated, lips engorged. “My poor Dakota. You’ve endured so much but your pain ends tonight, right here and right now. I’ll make sure that you never suffer again.”

  He turned to his parents, suspicion tainting his voice. “How long have you known about this?”

  “Just today,” explained Joseph. “I got a phone call from a young lady claiming to be Dakota and I didn’t believe her at first. She was persistent that I meet with her and when I did, I knew right away. I took her and Daniel back to our home.”

  Kyle’s face clouded at the mention of Daniel. “Who’s Daniel?”

  I signaled to Daniel, who stood in the shadows, giving me a moment. He stepped forward. “Kyle, I’d like you to meet the other man in my life. Daniel, this is Kyle.”

  Surprised and relieved that the youngster posed no threat, the allies shook hands. Daniel studied Kyle for the longest time, comparing his mental picture to the real thing.

  “I guess we’ll have to share her now, hey?”

  “I guess so.” Daniel giggled, possibly relieved that it was all over and now we could all start living like the family I had promised. It had been a colossal day and he looked more than ready to go to his new home.

  “How though? How did you survive?”

  “It’s a saga in itself. One I really don’t feel like sharing tonight. I don’t want to think about it. Just take me home. Please?”

  Kyle’s lips brushed mine as he murmured, �
�Don’t go anywhere. I’m not done with you. I have some business to take care of.”

  He looked over to Cheryl, who had been the one to take the crutches. She handed them to Kyle and he placed them under each of my arms, kissing me again. “I’ll be right back.”

  I kind of knew or at least hoped that the business to take care of was Jodie. A twinge of sympathy for the woman fleetingly struck a chord within me. How much of her heart had already been given to Kyle? Would her sorrow exceed mine?

  Cheryl and Joseph threw their arms around me in a group hug, welcoming me into the family and then seeing that Daniel was standing alone, they pulled him into the circle and started hugging him too.

  We now belonged. Our dreams had finally come true, taking a mountain of hardship to get here. It was worth the wait. The growing I had done in the last eight weeks had readied me for this moment. I was strong enough now to offer myself completely to Kyle and his family. I was ready to take on the challenges of motherhood to a boy that through no fault of his own carried his own army of demons. It was all meant to happen this way as a test of my faith.

  These two welcoming adults that hovered over me probably never would understand the scale of my deliverance from hell.

  Kyle returned minus Jodie. His demanding gaze spoke loud and clear.

  “How did she take it?”

  “She’s a strong woman. She’ll get over it. Come on.” He motioned with his arm. “I’m taking you home. Somewhere we should have gone a long time ago.”

  “Mom, Dad, I’ll call you tomorrow, and thanks for bringing my woman home.”

  The broad, heart-stopping smile he gave his parents melted me and I was grateful I had the crutches to hold me up.

  “You’re welcome, son. She’s quite a woman, too.” Joseph winked at Kyle and they shared some unspoken communication that I couldn’t quite decipher.

  Cheryl came up to me, hugging me and kissing me on the cheek. “Call me tomorrow and let me know how your first night goes.” Her eyes glistened with emotion.

  “I’m so grateful to you for everything. For taking Daniel and I into your home and making me look human again. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.”