Defensive Heart: The Donnolleys, Book 2

by Dorothy F. Shaw

  Sonja looked around the large lobby set up as a gallery and then back to him. “I don’t know. You’re the expert. Surprise me.”

  “You don’t strike me as the type of woman who likes surprises.”

  “Perhaps. Yet since I met you, you’ve consistently surprised me. Maybe I’m getting used to it.”

  “Point for me!” Jimmy chuckled and moved them to the fine art photography section.

  “Oh, this is beautiful. The lighting the photographer captured is amazing—almost mesmerizing.” Sonja stepped closer to the five-by-five-foot piece. “Was it taken locally?”

  The picture showcased a cherry blossom tree in full bloom. The sun was setting to the left of it, casting a glow over the side of the tree and its pink flowers. “Yes, actually in Central Park, I believe. A friend of mine, Thad, took it. He’s around here somewhere. I’ll introduce you.”

  “And this is up for auction?”

  “Everything you see here tonight has been donated by local artists and is up for auction.”

  She looked back at the piece. “It makes me feel…”

  Following his gut instinct, Jimmy stepped behind her, put his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder, bringing them cheek-to-cheek. Taking a breath, he inhaled her scent. The light fragrance of her perfume mixed with her shampoo made him think of the beach and the sun. “What does it make you feel?”

  “Peace.” She sighed and her head fell back against his shoulder. “It makes me feel peace.”

  “That’s rare, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, especially lately.” She pressed her cheek against his. “Show me your pieces,” she whispered.

  “All right. But I’m betting my stuff won’t make you feel peace.”

  She let out a sigh. “That’s okay.”

  Jimmy brought her to the section featuring the three pieces he’d donated. Two of them were rough-edge pieces with paint on canvas and large metal objects welded together into various shapes. One was a metal sculpture welded using old auto parts. She commented on them, asked him questions, but didn’t have the same reaction to his stuff as she had to Thad’s photograph.

  A flicker of jealousy flew through his veins before he caught it, squashing it. Sonja was delicate and it made sense the more delicate art would appeal to her. Jimmy’s art was anything but delicate. There was no reason for him to be jealous over that. For whatever reason gaining her approval, or praise, had become important to him and he wanted her to feel something when she looked at his art too.

  Many people loved his art. Praised him and paid him for it. Yet, he craved that validation from her. Deep down, he believed if he earned her admiration, then he’d know she truly did recognize him as more than some irresponsible artist. It shouldn’t matter so much, but it did.

  They took a seat for the auction. The long gown draped over her slender legs, but the slit down the side allowed a glimpse of her creamy skin. He hadn’t forgotten how soft her legs were. The memory of when he’d had his hands on her upper thigh in his studio slammed into him and ran straight to his dick. Jimmy cleared his throat, smoothed his hand over the back of his neck and blew out a breath.

  She caught his gaze, concern evident in her eyes. “Everything okay, James?”

  “Yes.” He smiled and took her hand in his. “Thanks for coming with me tonight.”

  “Thank you for inviting me.”

  Jimmy ran the fingertips of his free hand down her cheek. She froze, closing her eyes, but then leaned into his touch. He wanted her. In his bed, yes. But, more than that. The idea of “more” scared the shit out of him, but ever since he’d met Sonja, Jimmy knew he wanted her.

  Sonja was an enigma, but he wanted more than just to solve the puzzle. Jimmy moved his hand to the back of her neck, running his fingers through her soft hair, and pulled her closer. He kissed her. Soft and gentle, a mere brush of his lips over hers.

  A soft puff of breath feathered over his mouth from hers and he kissed her again. She tasted of champagne. Sweet and heavenly. Had she realized the spell she cast over him those short weeks ago in Vegas? Did she realize, even now, the spell was still in full force? “I want you,” he whispered against her lips.

  She moaned a quiet little whimper and kissed him again. She gripped his jacket sleeve in her slender hand as she pulled away and then pressed her forehead to his. Her breath rushed out in short bursts. “Why? Why do you want me, James?”

  “I have no answer for you, Sonja. And at the same time I have a thousand reasons why.” He gazed into her eyes and ran his fingers through her hair again. “I know I’m not what you want, but I can be if you let me try. Will you let me try?”

  The auctioneer’s voice over the sound system broke their intense moment, keeping her from answering his question. Damn. She smiled a nervous smile at him with lips swollen from his kiss, before facing the stage. Jimmy would’ve paid any price to know what was in her mind right then. What was her answer? Would she let him try?

  The auction ended and all pieces had been successfully sold at many high bids. Sonja purchased Thad’s cherry blossom photo. She planned to hang it in her bedroom. And once again that twinge of jealousy stirred in his gut. He wanted his art in her bedroom, not anyone else’s. The possessive nature of the thought shocked him.

  The night had been stuffed full of shocking thoughts. What the fuck was he going to do if he actually had the chance to make love to her? He’d barely kissed her more than a few times and already he was lost in her cornflower-blue eyes and sharp-witted comments. What would he do if she was the whole package and the sex was really good? Which—judging by how they fought with each other—would be an understatement.

  What if, right? What if it was bad? What if it was amazing? As it was, he couldn’t keep her out of his mind for long. If their chemistry exploded in bed, he’d be lost to her for sure. A forty-one-year-old, divorced, full-time mother had captured his mind—Wait. Who am I kidding? She’d gotten a damn good grip on his heart too.

  And none of it made a fucking bit of sense. For fuck’s sake, he was in the deep end of the pool. Jimmy hadn’t been in the pool in a very long time and he’d forgotten how to swim. What does someone do when they’re in the deep end and panic takes over? They tread water like their fucking life depends on it.

  Jimmy was doing exactly that. Treading water.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Sonja stood inside James’s loft with the soft sounds of Otis Redding’s “These Arms of Mine” floating around her. Her lower back still tingled from when he’d rested his broad palm there earlier. The heat of it penetrated the chiffon fabric like a brand on her skin. At the auction, he’d kissed her with all the intense emotion of a thousand thunderstorms. She’d felt it from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.

  He wanted her, it seemed, and for more than just sex. Sonja couldn’t quite believe it. Regardless, the depth of his desire was evident in his kiss, and the way he touched her. Especially the way he touched her tonight. With her arms wrapped around her waist, she gazed out the tall windows in his living room, seeing nothing but her own reflection in the glass.

  In the dim light of the room, the events of the week played through her mind. Sonja cringed, thinking about the fight she’d had with Thomas in front of their daughter the prior weekend. She’d tried very hard over the course of their marriage, and since divorcing him, not to fight with him in front of Casey. Regret raced through her. She never lost her temper—yelling and swearing like a crazy woman—as she’d done that evening.

  What the hell was wrong with her? Sonja blew out a breath and focused on the many cars parked below. A pale effort at clearing her mind. Her muscles were tight all over, and a knot coiled in her stomach. Nervous energy thrummed through her.

  Sonya recalled feeling this way when she decided to divorce Thomas. She’d felt trapped with no acceptable reason to get out, but Thomas had f
inally given her a credible one. He’d had an affair. Sonja jumped at the opportunity, using it as the reason—rather than her deep unhappiness—to end her marriage. Her father hadn’t approved, but she’d braved his disdain, for the first time ever, and broken free—for the most part anyway—of the life she hated.

  Perhaps it was about time to make another change.

  The warmth of James’s hands returned and he wrapped his arms around her waist. “What are you thinking about?” His heated breath from his low whisper feathered over her shoulder.

  She smiled and let her head fall back against him. “Stuff I shouldn’t be.”

  He kissed her shoulder. “Always a mystery.”

  His lips were hot on her skin, and she shivered. “Maybe.” Turning her head to the side, she pressed her face to his neck and breathed him in. The scent she hoped to find was present and flowed through her senses. The knot in her stomach broke into a flurry of butterflies, and she brushed her lips against his soft skin. “Show me your bedroom.”

  “Thought you’d never ask.” James stepped away from her body—the loss of his warmth sent an unwelcome shiver through her. One she didn’t care to feel again.

  With her hand in his, he led her up the spiral metal staircase to the upper floor. It was darker in his bedroom. He let go of her hand and a moment later soft, pale light illuminated the space from above. Crown molding bordered the walls, positioned just below the ceiling, and ambient light glowed behind it.

  Sonja let her gaze travel down the walls and then focused on his bed…hanging in the center of the room. The mattress sat upon an elegantly carved wooden platform suspended from the ceiling by four large chains. “I have never seen anything like that in my life. It’s like a swing.”

  “I made it a couple of years ago.”

  “You made this bed?”

  “Yeah.” He pulled on his tie and removed it. “You don’t like it?”

  She shook her head in amazement. “What’s not to like? I don’t think you’ll ever stop surprising me.”

  “I hope not.” He stepped in front of her and trailed his knuckles over her collarbone. After a moment he moved his hand to her neck, then her hair, and tangled his fingers in it.

  Sonja’s breath caught in her throat when he tightened his hold on her long locks. He tilted her head to the side and kissed her neck, teasing the tender spot with his lips and tongue. He dragged his piercing over the sensitive area. Desire swirled in her stomach and Sonja’s knees went weak. She grabbed onto his arm to steady herself. “James.”

  “Shh. I got you.” He smoothed a palm down her arm. “Just feel, Sonja.”

  Taking both of her hands in his, he stepped backward toward the bed. When he reached the platform, he sat and pulled her between his parted legs. Sonja gazed into the dark pools of his eyes. The sound of him inhaling a deep breath echoed around them in the near silence of the room.

  Turning his head, he rested his cheek against her stomach. Circling her waist with his arms, he pulled her tight against him. Sonja placed a trembling hand on the back of his head and smoothed the disheveled soft strands with her palm.

  He gazed up at her, desire shining in his eyes. “I need you.”

  A bolt of desire zinged down her spine. Sonja threaded her fingers through his hair and traced his lips with a fingertip of her free hand. Bending forward, she kissed him and fire erupted in her tummy. He welcomed her inside the warmth of his mouth and stroked over her tongue with his own. With a moan, she deepened the kiss. She needed him too, but she wouldn’t admit it to him. Heaven above, she could barely admit it to herself. James knowing how vulnerable she felt would be her undoing.

  With his lips and tongue still locked with hers, he ran his hands up her back and stood. He gripped the back of her dress in a firm hold, crushing her body against his. She tangled her fingers in his hair and held him tight to her lips. James’s hands danced from her back to her bottom and then to her waist and back to her hair. Sonja’s body came alive with tingles. Dampness gathered in her panties and she moaned. She needed more of him—needed to feel his skin.

  Finding the zipper on her dress, James tugged it down. With shaky fingers, Sonja fumbled with the buttons of his shirt. She gasped for air when he broke the kiss and moved his mouth down her jaw to her neck. Her gown fell loose and he rolled the straps down her arms.

  He pulled away from her neck, panting for air, and gazed into her eyes. “I love your hair down, and how long it is. Did I tell you that?”

  Sonja shook her head in response. Swallowing past the sudden lump in her throat, she held the front of her dress in place over her breasts. Fear fueled by insecurity raced through her, putting a damper on her lust. What if he didn’t like what he found beneath the gown?

  He pulled her hands away. “Let me see the rest of you.”

  “James…” She looked down, unsure if she could do this.

  As if knowing her trepidation, James cupped her chin in his hand and raised her eyes to his. “Shh. It’s all right, beautiful.” He kissed her again. Soft and tender, tangling his tongue with hers as he slid her dress to her waist.

  The cool air in the room tightened her nipples into rigid peaks. James pulled from her lips and cupped her petite breasts in his palms. Sonja kept her eyes closed—unable to subject herself to the expression on his face when he saw what she felt was an imperfect body.

  “You’re beautiful, Sonja.” His voice was a throaty whisper and he stroked his thumbs over her nipples.

  The light touch shoved her fear away and pulsing tingles shot down her body, settling in her clit. Sonja sucked in a breath, placed her hands atop his and gazed up at him. Once more, he pressed his lips to hers, this time with more urgency. Moaning, she finished unbuttoning his shirt and smoothed her hands over his chest. His skin was pure satin beneath her palms, and the need to touch every inch of him shifted into overdrive.

  Breaking the kiss, he pushed her dress over her hips, revealing her silk white panties. He ran his hands down her hips and over her bottom. “Holy fuck. My God, woman, look at you.”

  His rapt gaze upon her body was palpable. She didn’t need to see his eyes to know what the expression was laced with—heated appreciation overflowing with desire. It was the balm her ego needed to push any remaining insecurities aside and take that walk on the wild side they’d mused about mere weeks ago in Vegas.

  Sonja pressed her lips to his neck and trailed open-mouthed kissed down his smooth chest to one small, flat areola. Teasing the hard tip with her tongue, she delighted in the salty taste of his skin. She ran her thumb over the other nipple and bolt of triumph ran through her at his answering gasp.

  James picked her up, spun her and laid her on the bed. He pulled off his shirt and then removed his dress pants. The tattoos on his chest—a dragon on the left side, which extended up his neck, and some sort of warrior with a sword on the right—covered both his pecs. Both arms were covered in various designs, all flowing together.

  There were so many that she was in awe. She wanted to spend hours exploring each one with her tongue. Such a shocking desire for her. Sonja wasn’t the sort of woman who ever found tattoos appealing, but on James, they worked. More importantly, they worked for her. Wild side, here I come.

  She had no idea what her face must’ve looked like, but he gazed at her, a knowing grin on his face, as if again, he could read her thoughts. “Sonja-the-lawyer, you’ve got a look in your eye I’m thinking I kinda like.”

  She licked her lips. “James-the-artist, maybe I’d like to take a walk.”

  He dipped his chin and raised both brows. “A walk, huh?”

  “Mmhmm.” She scooted to the pillows at the head of the bed.

  James gave the platform a hard nudge with his thighs, forcing it to swing backward. On its return, he climbed onto the edge. He stood and gripped the chains in his palms. Using the momentum of his body, he swu
ng them again. “Where would you like to take this walk?”

  “It’s not a familiar—” the bed swayed faster and she let out a squeal of giggles, “—neighborhood for me.”

  “Is it a place that will make you laugh like I make you do?”

  Her cheeks warmed and she grinned. “I believe it’s called ‘the wild side’. Do you know the place? If so, would you consider being my tour guide there?”

  Falling to his knees at her feet, he placed his hand on his chest and bowed. “I’d be honored.”

  Sonja raised her knees and parted her legs ever so slightly.

  James’s expression changed from one of jest to something far too close to reverence. Shifting forward, his gaze traveled from her eyes down her body. With a feather-light touch, he traced a line over the top of her foot to her toes. “When this night is finished, I will have touched and kissed every inch of your exquisite skin.”

  Sonja’s breath caught in her throat at his declaration and she nodded. He raised her foot to his mouth and pressed his warm lips to the arch. With his other hand, he massaged the muscle of her calf. She moaned and he moved his lips to her ankle, licking over the flesh there and on to her shin before finding the inside of her knee. He paused and glanced up at her, then ran his warm palm up the outside of her leg and nuzzled her inner thigh.

  The tenderness of his touches threatened to pierce the shield that’d long been bolted in place around her heart. Sonja trembled from the inside out, in utter wonder at the rough-looking man—who was turning out to be anything but rough—perched between her legs, touching her like he’d been waiting his entire life for her.