Defensive Heart: The Donnolleys, Book 2

by Dorothy F. Shaw

  Then there was James.

  She wasn’t even sure what to do about him. He’d just left her there. Taking off as he had was wrong on so many levels—granted, Sonja had told him to leave during the argument, but she’d only said it because she was in a panic and angry. She could barely make sense of any of it now. On top of all of those emotions, she was terrified. Swallowing the last of the wine, she wandered back to the kitchen and refilled her glass.

  This time she settled in her bedroom, but brought the bottle with her. May as well numb the brain a bit while she waited.

  Waited to hear from Casey.

  Waited to hear from the police.

  Waited to hear from James.

  Waited…

  Sonja frowned before taking a long swallow of her wine. She could do this. She could keep her shit together. Casey would come home. James would show up and tell her how sorry he was, and Thomas…well, he could keep his annoying, misogynistic ass in Florida. Everything would go back to normal. She hoped.

  After setting the glass of wine on the table, Sonja turned on her side, stretching out on the settee. She stared at her phone, willing it to ring. She wanted to call James, but she wasn’t going to do that. Since she hadn’t heard from him, he obviously was no longer concerned with Casey. Or her, for that matter. Sonja sighed and closed her eyes, willing the tears to stay at bay. She’d broken down too many times already, and she simply refused to do it again.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Jimmy tossed and turned, trying to sleep. Giving in, he went into his bathroom and turned on the water. He cupped his hands under the faucet and swallowed a drink. With his eyes closed, he scrubbed his wet hands over his face. He hadn’t heard from Sonja and had no idea if Casey had come home. And it was driving him batshit crazy. “This is stupid.”

  Jimmy stormed back into his bedroom, grabbed his phone and called her. Halfway through the third ring, she answered. “Hello? Hello?”

  “Sonja, it’s me.”

  “What?”

  He heard some rustling, like maybe she dropped the phone or knocked something over. He glanced at the clock. Shit, it was late. “Sonja, can you hear me?”

  “James? What time is it?”

  “It’s after one in the morning. Is she home? Tell me she’s home, please?” Sonja started to cry. Fuck. “I’m coming over.” He didn’t wait for a reply, just disconnected the call.

  The sound of her cries gutted him. He couldn’t stand her to be hurting alone like that. The taxi gods smiled down on him because he snagged a cab faster than he ever had before. When he got to her door, he knocked and waited. When she didn’t come to the door, he called her cell. She answered, sounding less frazzled, but still like she’d been sleeping. And then finally came and let him in.

  “Hi.” Looking an absolute mess, she turned away, walked through the foyer, and down the hall.

  Jimmy locked up and went to her bedroom. She was curled on her side on the settee. Her phone clutched to her chest. Then he noticed the empty bottle of wine on the small table beside her. Shit. Sadness blanketed every inch of his heart. She looked so small—so fragile. Moving to her side, he scooped her into his arms.

  She pressed her face to his neck and snaked an arm around him. He carried her to the bed. Pulling the covers aside, he laid her down then sat beside her. She looked up at him with tear-filled eyes.

  “Shh, mo chroí, I’m here now. It’s going to be okay.” He caught a tear with his thumb when it escaped. “She’s fine, and she’s going to come home.”

  Her breath hitched on a sob. “Do you promise?”

  “I do.” Leaning forward, he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “You need to sleep. We both do.”

  She nodded and pulled him closer. “Don’t go. Please don’t go.”

  “I’m not going anywhere. But you have to let go so I can get in the bed with you.”

  She let out a short laugh through a sob, but he knew it was genuine. She let him go, and he rose, stripped off his clothes and climbed in bed with her. It killed him to see her so raw, but at least he’d be there to take care of her. Once he was settled, Sonja turned over and rested her head on his chest.

  Jimmy stroked his fingers through her long hair. The things she said earlier, during their fight, didn’t matter. He might still be out of line, but that didn’t matter either. She needed him right now and that was enough for him. He meant the promise he made to her. They’d find Casey, or she’d come home on her own.

  Either way, things were going to be fine. Between all of them.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Hot water streamed down Sonja’s hair and back. Her head throbbed thanks to the stress and worry, plus the massive amount of wine she’d consumed in the last twenty or so desperate hours. James had come over sometime in the middle of the night—though what happened or what they talked about was still a little fuzzy. Either way, she was glad he was there. Glad to have woken up in his arms too.

  It seemed silly to think his arms around her somehow made all of this easier to bear, but there was no other way to describe it. She was still terrified, still had no idea where her daughter was; yet at the same time, she knew deep inside it was going to be okay. However, being the logical person she was, Sonja intended to make more calls. She’d harass New York’s finest and then go out looking on her own. With James in tow, of course…if he wanted to come.

  After finishing in the shower, she dressed, put her hair up and wandered out to the kitchen. James was at the island, sipping a mug of coffee and reading the paper. She approached him and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind.

  He glanced over his shoulder at her. “Morning.”

  Sonja pressed a kiss to the side of his neck. “Thank you for being here.”

  “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, mo chroí.”

  “Good to know.” Sonja stepped away, rounded the countertop and poured a cup of coffee. “Did you get anything to eat?”

  He flipped the paper over. “Not feeling too hungry. But you should probably eat.”

  “I don’t think that’s remotely possible.” She took a sip of the hot fluid. “I want to go looking for her today.”

  “Reading my mind, woman.” He nodded, pursing his lips. “Where do you think we should start?”

  “I’m glad you said ‘we’.” She watched him over the rim of her mug. A small smile curved his lips, and he nodded again. She set her cup down. “I was thinking we could take a walk through Central Park. She likes to meet friends there, but she doesn’t know I know that.”

  “All right.” He took a drink of his coffee as he moved to the sink. “How do you know she meets friends there?”

  “I monitor her phone through GPS. Lot of good it’s doing me now though. She found a way to shut it off.”

  He shook his head and washed out his mug. “Jesus, this kid.”

  She stepped next to him, needing to feel closer. Wanting to touch him. His support was going to be critical in order to make it through this without having a nervous breakdown. Giving in to the urge, Sonja smoothed her hand down his back. “I know.”

  He glanced at her before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “You ready to get going?”

  “Yes.” Sonja sighed. “I suppose I should probably call Thomas first and let him know she’s run away.”

  Jimmy raised both brows. “You haven’t told him yet?”

  She pushed away from the counter, heading for the doorway. “No. I didn’t want to deal with him. To be honest, I still don’t, so if we can get her home as soon as possible, then I won’t have to deal with him at all.”

  “What’s up with that? Tell him to fuck off if he’s being an asshole. You do it to me all the time.”

  “Let’s not go there, okay?” She glanced at him as she walked out of the room. He was following, but the look on his face was like a kni
fe in her gut. She had enough to deal with at the moment. Discussing her inability to tell Thomas to keep his comments and opinions regarding her parenting skills to himself was not on the docket today.

  He let out an exasperated sigh and he moved around her to open the front door. “Ohhhkayy.”

  “Thank you.” She gave him a small smile and stepped past him.

  They walked, hand in hand, quite a ways through Central Park. The corners and more secluded sections, where she’d mapped Casey to in the past, turned up nothing. They took a seat on a bench, and Sonja went through her list of contacts for Casey’s friends. Placing a call to each one, she let them know if any heard from her daughter to please call her immediately. Sonja cringed before and during each conversation and voicemail left. Being this open regarding her private business was deeply uncomfortable for her, but that wasn’t important.

  The only important thing was finding Casey.

  The last call was to the precinct. They were doing everything they could, or so they said, but Sonja knew it wasn’t truly the case. Her daughter was just another runaway, her file added to the already staggering number of kids reported daily.

  James massaged the back of her neck. “Let’s go get something to eat.”

  She slumped to her side, resting her head on his shoulder. “My stomach is so upset.”

  He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “And that’s exactly why you should eat. Come on.” He stood and held a hand out to her. “We’ll get something light. Besides, it’s going to be dark soon. The park isn’t safe at night. You know that.”

  Taking his hand, Sonja stood. He pulled her into an embrace and she wrapped her arms around him, clinging to him like a life preserver. She supposed that’s exactly what he’d become for her today, or maybe what she allowed him to become. All her petty crap, the keeping him at bay, the trying to keep the great wall, erected so long ago, around her intact, and the fooling herself into thinking she didn’t care about him had all melted away.

  Nothing like a frightening situation, or an unfathomable tragedy to help a person see what was really important in life. It shouldn’t have taken something like her daughter running away to wake her up, but the truth was, it had. Sonja raised her head from his shoulder and gazed at him. “You’re right. On both accounts.”

  He touched the tip of her nose with his fingertip. “Glad you think so.”

  Tears welled up, and Sonja blinked, trying to force them back. “I’m sorry.”

  He tilted his head to the side. “For what?”

  “For shutting you out.” A myriad of things she’d done to him ran through her mind. All the missed opportunities, or the times she’d disappointed him. Being so cold and detached… A tear escaped down her cheek and guilt pulsed through her—she’d slept with Thomas before anything had officially begun between her and James. Sonja cringed. She’d never forgive herself for being so stupid. “For a lot of things.”

  “Mo chroí…” He cupped her face with his palms. “Thank you, truly. But it doesn’t matter anymore. What matters now is I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.” He brushed his lips over hers.

  Sonja circled his wrists with her fingers, closed her eyes and let his soft words warm her. “Thank you.”

  “Always.” He kissed her again. “Let’s get you fed.” Taking her by the hand, he led her out of Central Park and to the closest restaurant.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Jimmy climbed the stairs, with Sonja just one step behind him, of the apartment building where he’d picked Casey up over twenty-four hours ago. It was a long shot, but maybe they’d get lucky.

  The place wasn’t bad, but wasn’t great either. They continued up the dingy, gray-tinted white-walled stairwell and when they reached the fourth floor, Sonja stepped beside him and he pressed the flat of his hand to her back. It was after nine at night and Jimmy hoped, this time when he knocked, a parent might answer.

  In front of the apartment door, he glanced at Sonja, then knocked. The sound of a television echoed through the metal panel, but then again, it might be the unit next door. Raising his hand, he knocked again…a little louder this time.

  Sonja crossed her arms. “It’s late. Maybe they’re already sleeping?”

  “Dunno. Possible I gue—”

  The door opened a crack, the chain lock keeping it from going any farther. “Can I help you?”

  It was the same blond boy from the other night, but his hair didn’t appear to be as greasy tonight. Jimmy peered at the kid through the small opening. “Is Casey here?”

  “Who?”

  “Gonna play this game again? Okay, let me refresh your memory. Blue-and-purple hair? About this tall?” Jimmy raised his hand in the air. “You and me, we met the other night when I showed up. We had a similar conversation, except this time, I’m being a little more polite with your ass.”

  Sonja cleared her throat. “Excuse me, but is your mother home?”

  The kid broke the I-don’t-give-a-fuck stare he’d been giving Jimmy and turned his gaze to Sonja. “She’s working.”

  “Oh. Hmm.” Sonja dug into her purse, pulled out a business card and stuck it through the opening.

  The kid took it and glanced at it. “You’re a lawyer?”

  “Yes. I’m looking for my daughter, Casey. If you see her, or her boyfriend, Drake, can you call me? Or maybe have your mother call me?”

  “Drake. Yeah, I know that guy. He’s kind of an asshole.”

  Jimmy barked out a laugh. Maybe the kid wasn’t stupid after all. “Listen, kid. I know we didn’t get off to a great start, but this is really important. So we’d appreciate it if you helped out.”

  The kid looked over at Jimmy again and nodded. “Yeah, cool. If I hear from him, I’ll let you know.”

  “Thank you.” Sonja let out a sigh—one sounding a lot more like disappointment than gratitude.

  The kid nodded again and closed the door. Jimmy wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her against him. “You okay?”

  “Yes. No. Maybe?” She rubbed her forehead. “Tired, I guess.”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean, mo chroí.” He rubbed her back. “Let’s go back to your place and get you off your feet.”

  “All right.” She pressed a kiss to his lips.

  Jimmy held her tight against his chest. This whole situation sucked, and though he wished it wasn’t happening, there was no way he’d trade being able to be by her side through every second of it.

  All he wanted was to see Casey home and safe, and to know Sonja’s fears were put to bed. He didn’t ever want to see the look that had taken up residence in her eyes or the frown plaguing her brow again. Jesus, when they got her daughter back home, he was going to wring the kid’s neck for putting Sonja through this—for putting them both through this.

  Jimmy led her out of the building. Hailing a cab for them, he helped her into the taxi and climbed in behind her. Sonja rested her head on his shoulder while the cab traversed the streets leading them back to the Upper East Side. He placed a kiss on her forehead and smoothed his hand down her arm. In the darkness of the cab, with her pressed close to him, the city lights passing them by, Jimmy knew he loved her.

  He’d fallen completely, and totally, in love with her. And he wouldn’t trade one moment for anything.

  She was his sunshine.

  Mo chroí. She was his heart.

  Chapter Forty

  Sonja lay curled up on the couch, her head on a pillow in James’s lap. The television was on, but she wasn’t really watching. Instead she was playing out a thousand different scenarios of worry in her mind. Was her daughter okay? Was she with Drake? Had something bad happened to her? Were they ever going to find her?

  The shrill ring of her cell phone startled her back to the present moment. Adrenaline spiked in her system. Sonja bolted upright, reached for the device, almost m
issed the Talk button, but then got it and put the phone to her ear. “Hello!”

  “May I speak to Ms. Martin, please?”

  “This is she. Who is this?” She felt James’s hand on her shoulder and glanced at him. A look of concern blanketed his features.

  “This is Officer Noellyn from the forty-ninth precinct in the Bronx.”

  Fear cut through her like a steel blade. “Oh God. Do you have my daughter?” Unable to sit still, Sonja stood and began pacing.

  “Casey Martin is your daughter, correct?”

  “Yes! Is she okay? Please tell me she’s okay.” She glanced at James; he’d gotten to his feet too.

  “She was involved in an altercation. She’s okay, but we had her taken to St. Barnabas to be checked out. Are you able to come down to the hospital?”

  Sonja turned and ran for her purse. James followed, calling after her. “I’m leaving right now. Thank you.” She disconnected the call and stopped long enough to grab James by the arm. “She’s at St. Barnabas. Let’s go.” Releasing her hold on him, she turned and rushed for the front door.

  The cab ride took forever. James held her hand and she stared at her phone, debating whether or not to call Thomas.

  He gave her hand a squeeze. “It’s going to be okay.”

  “I should call Thomas. But I…” Sonja shook her head and glanced out the window.

  “What, mo chroí?”

  “I want to see her first. Make sure she’s okay. Does that make me selfish?”

  “No, of course not.” He cupped her chin and turned her face to his. “It makes you a worried mother. Nothing wrong with that.” He stroked her cheek.

  “I think it does make me selfish because the truth is, I’m hoping she’s more than fine, so I won’t have to call him at all.”

  “That doesn’t make you selfish either. It makes you smart.” He pressed a soft kiss to her lips.