Finn

by Catherine Lievens

Finn reacted when the bag slid out of his hands, his eyes snapping up as he moved backward. Bryce just had the time to grab him before he ended up on the floor and he let out a relieved sigh when the Nix snuggled against his chest and clutched at his shirt like a frightened child. At least he had recognized him. Murmuring soft words in Finn’s ear, Bryce waited for the panic his mate felt to ebb before trying to talk to him.

  It took a little while, but Finn slowly stopped shaking. Thinking that maybe it was time to find out what had happened, Bryce jumped when he felt a hot tongue on his neck, sliding up and down before a pair of lips started sucking. Finn had probably ended up leaving a hickey by the time Bryce managed to untangle his arms and grab Finn’s shoulders, pushing away so that he could look at him in the eyes. The Nix whimpered, but rage rose in Bryce’s chest when he saw the new bruise on his jaw.

  “What happened, baby?” He needed to keep his voice controlled. Finn might not understand his anger wasn’t directed at him, and Bryce didn’t want to spook him, not now that he was finally letting Bryce in. Finn seemed to come back to his senses as he started blushing, keeping his eyes on his hands.

  “Sorry.” The voice was so soft that Bryce had trouble hearing it.

  “For what? You have nothing to be sorry about, Finn.”

  “I—I basically attacked you! I’m sorry!” The distress in his mate’s face hit Bryce’s heart like a ton of bricks. Bringing Finn close one more time, Bryce folded his arms around the smaller man.

  “You didn’t attack me. Believe me, I very much wanted you to continue what you were doing, but I think we have things to talk about before taking any steps in that direction.” Bryce placed a kiss on the top of Finn’s hair, inhaling the Nix’s natural scent. He smelled of fresh cut grass and sunshine, reminding Bryce of a hot summer day. “Are you going to tell me what happened, baby?”

  Bryce watched as Finn took a deep breath and clutched at the pendant hanging from his neck before answering, “I went back home and gathered my things, and I was about to shimmer back here when Karun, the clan’s second, came in. He hit me, and h-he knew about you, and that I spend time at the mansion. He told me that someone had prohibited him from touching me because the scientists wanted me intact, but that since I was going to give myself to you he would—he would take me first. I shimmered, but I wasn’t thinking, so I ended up in the place I used to go when I had to think or stay away from reality. I had to calm down before I was able to come back here.”

  Now it was Bryce’s turn to take a deep breath. He needed it to calm both himself and his cougar, because the only thing they wanted was to run to that man and hurt him like he had hurt their mate. “It’s okay, you don’t have to go back, ever.”

  “What if they come looking for me? What if they hurt you or Jamie, or anyone else because they’re trying to get me back? They can shimmer in and out of this house if they want to, and no one would even know! I have to go back!” Finn tried to scramble down from Bryce’s lap, but Bryce was having none of that.

  “Calm down, babe. We’ll find a way to keep them out, and in the meantime you can sleep with someone. I know it might not be ideal, but that way there will always be someone to protect you from your clan.” It didn’t please Bryce’s cougar to think about other men watching their mate sleeping, but he would do it if he needed to. Finn’s safety came before anything else.

  “Are you...are you going to be the one sleeping with me?”

  Bryce’s chest hurt at the question. His mate didn’t want them to sleep together. He could understand it, but it still hurt. “Not if you don’t want me to. I’m sure some of the unmated soldiers will do it without problems, or even Nolan and Casey. They can all take turns, and—”

  Finn’s face fell a bit. “You don’t want to be the one doing it?” He tried once more to get off Bryce’s lap.

  Bryce held him close. “Of course I want to be the one sleeping with you. I just thought you didn’t want me to. We’re progressing in this relationship, but I wasn’t sure it was enough for you to trust me that much.”

  “I trust you. Can I sleep here? I mean, can I sleep with you in your bed, or do you want me to sleep in another room? I could take the couch—” Finn’s face flushed as he was talking, and Bryce couldn’t stop himself. Leaning down, he cupped his mate’s face and pressed their lips together, nipping on the lower one when Finn didn’t open for him, then licking his way in. Their tongues dueled for a while and Finn started squirming on Bryce’s lap. Bryce didn’t know how Finn would react if he felt his growing erection, so he tried to put some distance between them. However, Finn held tight, rubbing even harder against Bryce’s cock until it started leaking pre-cum. Bryce wanted nothing more than undress his man and map Finn’s entire body with his tongue before making love to him, but he knew they had to go and tell Dominic what happened. Those damn scientists were popping up everywhere now.

  He ended the kiss, pressing his lips on Finn’s flushed cheeks and letting him calm down his ragged breath. “Come on, babe. Let’s go see the Alpha, then we’ll do whatever you want to do.”

  * * * *

  Finn wanted to lose himself in Bryce. He wanted to forget what he had learned only hours ago, what he had to repeat to Dominic just now. He had told the whole story to the Alpha, but there wasn’t much they could do. Dominic was working to set up a network between groups of shifters and other paranormal creatures, but it was hard work, and they still had to set up a superior authority that would have the power to stop and punish those who went against the laws. Not that they already had laws, but they were working on that too, and kidnapping, selling, or helping the scientists in general was definitely against it.

  Still, Finn’s clan lived in another state and Dominic wasn’t used to dealing with faes, and it was too far to just go there. They couldn’t do anything, but Finn thought he could live with that. He had escaped, after all, and they were never getting him back. He was just worried that Leold and Karun had managed to sell other Nix, and they didn’t have names or locations. He knew how hard the pride was working to find where the sold shifters were and rescue them, and he felt like he had somehow let them down. Maybe he could go back and sneak into Leold’s office to see if he could find some documents.

  The only problem with that idea was that neither Dominic nor Bryce would let him do it. “Please, I know I can do it. I know when they go to sleep and I can shimmer in and out.”

  “No.” Dominic’s tone was final. “It’s not your job to do it, Finn. You’re finally safe, why do you want so desperately to go back?”

  “Because I can help people!” They didn’t seem to understand, or maybe they didn’t want to. “I know what they are going through, I lived that in my own skin. I can’t let them suffer like that if there is even a remote possibility we can find them!”

  “You’re right, but I can’t risk you for that. I’m sorry, but in this case you come before strangers, and it’s final. I’ll try to find a way, maybe through Nolan’s parents, since they live not far away, but you can’t be involved.”

  Finn knew there was no way Dominic was changing his mind, so the only thing he could do was nod. That didn’t mean he was giving up, though. It just meant that he would have to wait for Bryce to let his guard down to go back to his village and steal those files. He was nearly regretting asking him to be the one to sleep with him tonight, because it would have been easier to sneak out if it had been someone else, but Finn couldn’t bring himself to truly regret it. He needed his mate, even if it was too soon, even if he couldn’t be sure that Bryce was telling the truth.

  To be honest, Bryce had never lied to him. The cougar had always been very clear on what he wanted and what he didn’t want, so Finn actually believed him when he said that he wanted to mate with him. Well, his brain believed him, but his heart was torn. Finn wanted to believe he could finally be happy, but he was scared that in two, three, four years Bryce might regret it.

  They left Dominic’s office soon
after that and headed to the kitchen to eat something, since Finn was starving. He had been stuck for hours in Ireland, trying to calm down enough to come back to the mansion, but he had been stuck in a panic, scared that Karun would somehow find him before he could get to safety. Anyways, he was hungry and he wolfed down the sandwich Nolan made him. Those two seemed to always be in the kitchen for some reason, but since Casey was a very good cook, it went to everyone’s advantage.

  “Hey, Finn. I didn’t know you were here,” Jamie said as he entered the kitchen. Finn shot up and hugged his friend, happy to see him. Things between them had become strained, what with Keenan being Bryce’s ex-lover, so he hoped they could go back to normal now. They had too much of a story together to stop talking like that.

  “Yeah, he’s going to live here,” Bryce said from his seat, and Finn could tell Jamie didn’t know things had changed since they had last talked. Jamie’s eyes grew wide as he looked from Bryce to Finn, especially when he noticed that Bryce was holding Finn’s hand in his own. Finn had been a little embarrassed at the PDA, but since he had seen more than one couple in the house get hot and heavy in some of the common areas, he had let him. It felt good.

  Bryce turned to talk with Casey and Jamie came to Finn, whispering, “We have to talk about this, man! Come and look for me tomorrow!”

  Finn nodded, grateful to see Jamie still wanted to be his friend. That made him think about Jamie and Ward, and how they had started dating each other. It made him realize that if Jamie hadn’t taken that leap of faith and hadn’t trusted Ward, they wouldn’t be so happy right now. Maybe that was what he had to do, too. If he let his fears of a faraway future rule him, he wouldn’t get to have any future with Bryce.

  Deciding that, something shifted in him, and he knew he was making the right decision. He was still scared, but for a totally different reason now. He had decided to take a big step forward and ask Bryce to make love to him, but now he had fears that every virgin with his first love probably had. Was it too soon? Would it hurt? Would he be good at it? What if he wasn’t, or if he came too soon? Maybe the trick was to stop thinking too much and act on instinct. Even so, Finn was getting more and more nervous as they said goodbye and headed back to Bryce’s room.

  As soon as Bryce closed the door behind them, Finn took a deep breath and looped his arms around the cougar’s neck, pulling him down for a kiss. He put the short practice he had on kissing in it, stroking and sucking until they were both breathless, but it wasn’t enough.

  Letting his arms fall, Finn grabbed Bryce’s belt and started unbuckling it, the need to be with his mate eating at him and making him anxious.

  “Wait, wait, what are you doing, babe?”

  Finn froze. Bryce didn’t want him? Or was he coming onto him too strongly? Maybe Bryce liked shyer men, and Finn was being aggressive. He wanted to slap himself. The one time he was aggressive in his life and his mate didn’t like it.

  Stepping aside, he never stopped looking at his feet, his face burning in shame. He felt Bryce’s cool fingers on his jaw as his face was tilted up. He couldn’t avoid his mate’s eyes like this, even if he did try to do it, looking everywhere but at Bryce. His eyes always went back to him, though.

  “What’s this all about, babe?”

  “I wanted—well, I wanted to, you know...” Finn gestured between them, thinking that what he wanted was obvious and hoping Bryce wouldn’t reject him or push him away again.

  “You want us to make love?”

  “Yeah.” A soft kiss landed on Finn’s lips, reigniting a spark of desire and hope in him.

  “I want to ask you a few things first, okay?”

  Finn nodded and waited.

  “I won’t ask you if you’re sure about this because I think you’re old enough to know what you’re doing, but I need to know if you want me to claim you.”

  Okay, so Finn hadn’t thought about that. Did he want it? He wasn’t sure, and he knew what it meant. He just hoped he wouldn’t be the one to push Bryce away this time.

  “Can we wait for that? I mean, I’m sure we’re going to mate one day soon, but I’d like to wait a little bit more, just the time to settle in this new life.” Finn tried to read his mate’s eyes, and all he could see was acceptance.

  “Of course. You just have to tell me when you’re ready. Another thing I wanted to ask is if you’ve ever done this?”

  Finn blushed and shook his head, unable to answer. He hoped the shaking would be enough to make Bryce understand.

  Bryce chuckled in response. “Okay, so what do you think you want to do, top or bottom?”

  Finn’s jaw dropped. “You’d let me top you?”

  Bryce shrugged. “Sure, why not? I do both, and I like both. I’ll do what you feel more comfortable with, and maybe we can switch next time.” The smile he gave Finn was cheeky and promising, and he couldn’t wait.

  “I’d like to bottom if that’s okay. I mean, I know I like it when—” Finn snapped his mouth shut, too embarrassed to continue, but Bryce still understood what he had been about to say.

  “You like being on the receiving side? Have you ever fingered yourself down there? Maybe used a dildo?” A wicked smile appeared on Finn’s mate’s lips when he asked that.

  Finn shook his head again. He knew he had zero experience compared to his mate. “I, uh, I used my finger, but that’s all.”

  * * * *

  Bryce couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had thought he would have had to wait weeks if not a few months to make love to his mate, but Finn wanted to do it now. He desperately wanted to mate the little guy, but that would have to wait, and he could understand why. Finn was basically starting a new life from scratch, and Bryce was happy he could be a part of it. Besides, Finn had just said that they would mate, just not now, and it was okay with Bryce. His cougar might want to do it now, but he was more than his cat, after all.

  And the fact that he would be Finn’s first and only made him feel like he was on top of the world. It wasn’t the first time he would sleep with a virgin, since Keenan had been one too, at least to gay sex, but this was even more special, because it was Bryce’s mate. That did manage to make him a little nervous, though. What if he hurt Finn? Sure, Bryce knew what to do, but still. He knew first times usually hurt at least a bit, but how did he tell that to Finn without making him change his mind?

  Bryce was still deep in his thoughts about everything that could go wrong when he saw Finn move to the door. Grabbing his hand, he pulled the Nix back. “Where are you going? Even if you changed your mind and you prefer to wait, we can still sleep together. I won’t touch you if you don’t want to.”

  Finn’s cheeks flushed. “No, I thought you had changed your mind when I told you I was a virgin, that maybe you wanted someone with more experience.” The fae’s eyes were riveted on his hands, and Bryce could see a pattern there. When Finn was embarrassed, he looked down.

  “I’m sorry, I was just thinking about how lucky I am that you decided to give me a chance, and that I’m scared to mess up somehow and make you run.”

  Finn shook his head, his eyes finally looking up to Bryce. “I don’t think you can mess this up. Well, except if you try weird stuff like hitting me or something. In that case, I’ll definitely run.”

  “I’d never hit you!” Bryce tilted Finn’s head, keeping his fingers on his mate’s jaw to be sure he couldn’t look away. “I hope you know that.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “And we’ll keep this time simple, just you and me. We have all the time in the world to explore what you like in sex.”

  Finn’s eyes were wide again, but this time Bryce didn’t give him the time to answer or to worry. Leaning down, he captured Finn’s lips with his own, sucking on them before asking for entrance with his tongue. He licked the seam of Finn’s soft lips until the Nix moaned and opened, giving permission to Bryce to explore his mouth. Their tongues twirled together and Bryce was glad that Finn was al
ready feeling a little less shy as he felt his mate’s hands clutching at his arms, trying to get him closer.

  Coming up for air, Bryce decided to move them into the bedroom. He didn’t want Finn’s first time to be on the couch, but they could explore that later. “Jump up.”

  “Huh?” Finn was looking at him with eyes glazed over by passion, his lips red and swollen as his breath puffed out.

  “Come on, jump up. I’ll catch you.” Bryce put his hands on Finn’s hips and motioned for him to jump. His mate seemed perplexed but followed his lead anyway, wrapping his legs around Bryce’s waist when Bryce pulled him up. Bryce groaned at the feeling of Finn’s erection against his own hard cock. Gripping Finn’s ass so that he didn’t drop the man, Bryce headed for the bedroom. Finn was making it difficult for him to concentrate, all the while nipping and sucking on Bryce’s neck, but they finally made it, and Bryce let himself fall down on the bed, moving his hands to the side of Finn’s body to avoid crushing him.

  Their bodies plastered together from thighs to chest, Bryce looked down in Finn’s eyes and smiled to his mate before diving back down for another toe-curling kiss. When they separated, both of them were out of breath, but Bryce couldn’t wait to go back for another one. The feel of his mate’s lips against his own was heaven, but he also wanted to discover the hot body hidden under Finn’s clothes.

  Sitting up, Bryce took his shirt off and gestured for Finn to do the same. He wanted to see if the blush that covered his mate’s face went down all the way to his chest or if it stopped at his neck. Finn did as Bryce had asked, but Bryce could see the man was nervous. Leaning down, he licked a heated path down Finn’s collar bones to his nipple, sucking in the light brown bud before reassuring his mate. “You’re perfect.”

  The pleasure he saw in Finn’s eyes when he said it was enough to make him want to repeat it again and again, until the man was convinced of it.

  Moving to the other nipple, Bryce teased it while his hands explored the rest of Finn’s chest. It was hairless and smooth, the skin a creamy white peppered with a few freckles. Bryce traced a pattern from freckle to freckle with his tongue until he reached the innie bellybutton, tickling it and making Finn laugh between moans. Bryce made a mental note to have some tickling battles with his mate soon, but when he reached the seam of Finn’s pants all rational thoughts flew out of the window.