A Texas Soldier's Christmas

by Cathy Gillen Thacker

  He nodded as if he had expected her suggestion. “I’ve got an appointment to talk with the Laramie County sheriff’s department next week.”

  “Good!”

  “Don’t get your hopes up.” His lips twisted. “I’m not sure that will be a good fit.”

  But he was looking into it. That was something he’d never been willing to do before. “You never know.” He was certainly selfless and heroic enough for the job.

  “No. You don’t,” he agreed, taking her coffee cup out of her hands and setting it aside. “And I’m going to have to do something when I leave the military,” he murmured as he drew her into his arms. “So I might as well look at all my options.”

  Nora caught her breath as one palm slid down her spine, flattening her against him, and the other hand eased through her hair, tilting her face up to his. “What are you doing?” she gasped, way more turned on than she wanted to admit.

  Eyes warming, Zane looked down at her. He rubbed his thumb across her lower lip. “Making amends with you.”

  Nora splayed her hands across his solid, muscular chest, holding him at bay. Not the least bit surprised to suddenly be so flustered. It happened every time they were together.

  He’d come striding in and give her one of his “I can’t get enough of you” looks, and she’d start feeling the same way. As if there were no one else on earth who was ever going to affect her the way he did. Excited. Enthralled. And ready for so much more. “Hey...” she chided softly, her heart already racing, as he held her flush against him, buried his face in her hair and breathed in, “I said we weren’t going to make love again.”

  He moved closer still and her body registered the heat.

  “At your place last night.” He dropped a string of butterfly kisses from her temple to her cheekbone, the lobe of her ear and the nape of her neck.

  As she felt the pounding of his heart, the depth of his desire, tingles swept through her. She melted against him, her insides fluttering even as she struggled to keep her feelings in check.

  Grinning seductively, he slid his hands down her hips to cup her against him. Softness to hardness. “We didn’t say anything about today...”

  The turmoil inside her increased as his lips parted hers. Her knees went ever weaker. She jerked in another quick, bolstering breath, the kiss deepening, their warm breaths mingling. “Zane...”

  Over and over his tongue plunged into her mouth, stroking and arousing. “I’ve missed you, Nora.” His lips covered hers. He kissed her hotly, ardently. Until she kissed him back. Until her arms were wreathed about his neck and there was nothing but need and yearning, and more need...

  He kissed her the way he always kissed her, slowly, purposefully, demanding everything she had to give. Until he wasn’t just taking but giving. Inundating her with the heat of him, his masculine strength. Filling her heart and soul with everything she had ever yearned for. And still the clinch continued. His mouth moving expertly over hers, his arms wrapped tight around her, plastering their bodies together. And lower still, she felt the searing pressure of need. His, hers. And she gave herself over to the thrill of being loved by him once again. Then, finally, when she thought she could bear it no more, he lifted his head. Drew back. Said gruffly, “And the way you just kissed me back says you’ve missed me, too.”

  And then some, Nora thought, trembling.

  “So why don’t we give each other a little early Christmas gift and make love. Here,” he rasped. “And now.”

  * * *

  NORA KNEW ALL the reasons why she should say no. Zane was never going to put her ahead of his commitment to country. He didn’t love her the way she needed to be loved. As if she—and now Liam—were his entire world. And given the fact that he was a soldier first and foremost, he probably never would.

  But she did care very much about him. Always had and always would. And now that he was here with her again, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close, all she could think was she needed to make up for all those long, lonely days and nights. Needed to do something to assuage the ever-present fear that something would happen to him and she would never see or be with him again.

  So, if that meant she threw caution to the wind once again and let him into her life for just a little while, then she would. She could worry about being sensible later. When he eventually left Texas again. As she knew, deep down in her soul, that he would.

  * * *

  ZANE HADN’T EXPECTED Nora to give in so easily, but he couldn’t say he minded the enthusiasm she showed as they kissed their way through the downstairs of his A-frame and all the way up the stairs.

  It had been a long time. Too long, since he’d had her in his arms. Too long since he’d felt the sweet give of her lips beneath his, or the soft swell of her breasts nestled against his chest. And it had definitely been too long since he had seen her naked.

  Easing his hands beneath the hem, he lifted her sweater over her head. Her silky camisole top followed. Beneath the lace of her bra, her nipples jutted impudently. A familiar thrill soaring through him, he bent his head to kiss her again and rubbed his thumbs across the crests. His body tightened all the more as he felt her impatience and heard her moan, soft and low in her throat.

  “You next,” she insisted throatily. Unbuttoning his shirt, guiding it off, then tugging his T-shirt over his head, she caught her breath. “This is new.” She kissed an angry red scar on his upper arm.

  And the last time he’d be wounded while participating in a covert military mission, he wanted to promise her. But couldn’t. Not just yet. Not and have her believe him. So instead, he admitted to the injury with a shrug, tugged off her boots, jeans, bra and panties, and tumbled her onto his bed.

  Hand beneath her head, she struck a sexy pose. Grinned and watched him strip down, too. Aware they were probably moving way too fast—as usual—he joined her on the bed. Naked, too. “Now...where were we?” he murmured.

  To his delight, she cupped him in her hand. “Right here, I think...”

  Eager to please her, he shifted her onto her back and slid between her thighs. Kissing his way across her breast and belly, he mused playfully, “I think it might have been here...” Gasping, she clung to him. Determined to make it last, he caught her hips in his hands and went lower still.

  “Oh, Zane...” she whispered, her response honest and passionate and uncompromising.

  Driven by the same frantic need, he explored. Caressed. Loved. Until fire pooled in his groin. She quivered and arched her back. When she would have hurried the pace, he held back, making her understand what it was to feel such intense, incredible yearning.

  Closing her eyes and fisting her hands in his hair, she gave herself over to him. His heart full, he savored the heat and taste and feel of her. The way she opened herself up to the moment and the passion they shared.

  Suddenly, he wasn’t the only one shuddering with pent-up need. Aware he’d never had more reason to proceed with care, he paused to find protection. Then, easing his hands beneath her, he lifted her, touching her with the tip of his manhood in the most intimate way. She arched against him, her mouth hungry, her soft breasts pressed against his chest. With a low moan, she wrapped her arms and legs around him, clasping him close, taking him into her, giving him everything he had ever wanted and ever needed.

  She was all woman, and she was all his, Zane thought possessively, as they succumbed to the inevitable swirling bliss.

  * * *

  AS ZANE HAD EXPECTED, it didn’t take long for the regrets to come. With the two of them, there were always regrets when the intensity of their passion faded and reality returned.

  As their shudders faded, Nora extricated herself from beneath him and rolled onto her side, facing away from him.

  He shifted onto his side, too. Moved in close enough to spoon with her. And although she di
dn’t move away, not yet, her slender body tensed.

  Outside, it began to rain again, the precipitation slamming hard against the glass. The interior of his bedroom was shrouded in a wintry gloom not unlike her mood.

  He ran a hand over the silky warm skin of her hip, lightly down the delicate line of her thigh. There was only one way they’d get close again.

  “Tell me what’s on your mind,” he urged quietly.

  Nora sighed, her gaze still on the view of the ranch outside the triangular-shaped floor-to-ceiling window. “I was just wondering if your father knew about us before he passed away.” She bit her lip and briefly closed her eyes. “If that’s why he gave you the property here, because he knew my family home—the one my mother, sister and I inherited from my grandparents—was here, too. And he thought...hoped...” Her voice trailed off sadly.

  Zane fell silent, reluctantly reminiscing, too.

  Nora had come with him to see his dad before his father died, five years ago. She and Zane had been off again at that moment, so they’d declared themselves just friends.

  They hadn’t really fooled anyone.

  Even when he and Nora were off again, their feelings were always intense. Forbidden. Romantic.

  Nora shifted to better see his face. Reluctantly, he admitted, “Dad and Mom both said you were the one for me, but they also knew you deserved better than what I was willing to give you.”

  Which, he admitted ruefully to himself, wasn’t much, back then.

  He forced himself to continue matter-of-factly, “So they understood completely why you wouldn’t have wanted to actually date me.”

  She scoffed, as acutely aware as he that they hadn’t ever bothered to formally court each other. Even when they were together, it was all about whatever moment they were in. Like now. Because they knew it could all end in a heartbeat. If just one thing during a mission went wrong. So they had just celebrated the rare moments they were together by staying up all night talking and tumbling in and out of bed.

  The barriers around her heart went all the way up again. “Smart parents...”

  He rolled her flat onto her back. Bent to kiss the curve of her shoulder. “Hey, it’s not just my folks who disapprove of a liaison between us,” he reminded her wryly. “Your mom doesn’t like me, either.”

  Nora shrugged and wiggled out of his grasp before he could sideline their argument by making love to her all over again. Rising, she bent to snatch up her clothes. “That’s because ‘The General’ doesn’t want anything or anyone interfering with my military service.”

  Except Nora wasn’t in the military right now.

  Was she getting pressure to return? The way most valued members did?

  Zane watched Nora pull on her panties, slip her bra over the sumptuous curves of her breasts. When she struggled to fit hook in eye, he rose and stepped behind her to fasten the clasp. Then he shrugged on his boxer briefs.

  Curious, he asked, “What did your mom think about Liam, then?”

  Nora went still.

  Avoiding his gaze, she put on her sweater, then her jeans.

  He pulled on his pants, too.

  Finally, he guessed what her silence meant. “Are you serious? She didn’t want you to adopt?”

  Nora turned away and drew another deep breath. “It’s complicated.”

  He moved closer, still buttoning his shirt. “Because you’re single?”

  Nora sat down on the edge of his bed to pull on her socks. “Because becoming Liam’s mother cemented my decision to permanently leave the Army Nurse Corps.”

  He watched her stretch out her long lissome legs to pull on her boots. “Your mom does want you back in the military, then?”

  Nora leaped to her feet and breezed past him. “She’s career Army, Zane, a woman who spent her entire adult life rising to the rank of brigadier general.” Swiftly, she descended the staircase, leaving him to follow. As she reached the first floor, she tossed the words over her shoulder, “So of course she wants me back in uniform, just like my sister, Davina! But it’s not going to happen,” she vowed heatedly.

  “You’re not going to continually leave your child to be deployed, the way your parents left you and your sister.”

  “No. I’m not,” Nora said firmly. She plucked a brush out of her bag and ran it through her hair. Tilting her head, she met his probing glance and admitted thoughtfully, “That is the one thing ‘The General’ likes about you, though. Your dedication to service.”

  He sat down to pull on his own boots. “Somehow that doesn’t sound like a compliment.”

  Nora shrugged. “In her view, it is.”

  But not yours, he thought, watching Nora cover her lips with gloss, then drop the tube back into her purse, too. Hands on her hips, she spun around, looking for her rain jacket. “As for what you should do with this ranch...”

  He blocked her path to her coat. Lifted a brow. He might always be departing to serve his country, but she was always shutting down discussion whenever things got too intimate or intense.

  “Deft change of subject,” he drawled.

  Ignoring his gentle rebuke, she lifted her chin and speared him with a testy gaze. “If you want to know the truth, I think my opinion is unnecessary, because you already know what your plan is regarding this ranch.”

  Damned if she didn’t know him through and through.

  “You’re just not willing to share whatever that is with anyone yet.”

  Also true.

  Color flooding her cheeks, she blew out a frustrated breath. “But it should be whatever you want, long-term, Zane, not what your family desires.”

  On that much they totally agreed. He promised her gravely, “It will be.”

  “Oh, and for the record...” Still looking deliciously tousled, she waved an airy hand toward the bedroom. “I’m not sure what this was just now, except for more reckless behavior on my part.” She stepped closer, her hands fisted at her sides. “But I am certain about one thing.”

  “And what’s that?” he countered gruffly, feeling another exit speech coming.

  Her lower lip trembling, she announced with a great deal of wariness, “I can’t do this with you again, Zane. This whole bit where I feel like we’re really starting to become a couple, only to discover that nothing has really changed, after all.”

  He knew that, too. “I’ve already told my commanding officer that I’m not reenlisting. When my tour is over January 15, I’m out.”

  She surmised sadly, “But between now and then, you’ll have to go back.”

  He helped her put on her rain jacket. “On December 27, yeah, I will have to rejoin my unit. But only for a couple of weeks.”

  Nora stiffened. “So you say now.”

  He caught her wrist before she could bolt. “I mean it now, Nora.”

  Hurt shimmering in her eyes, she pulled away. “You meant it four years ago, too, when you told me you were resigning your commission.”

  Her icy rebuke stung.

  He followed her out onto the porch, where the rain was coming down hard. Grimly reminded her, “You know what it was like back then. The danger a lot of our troops and diplomats were in!”

  Oblivious to the pouring rain, she shook her head. Sighed sadly. “There will always be turmoil somewhere in the world. Always someone in need of rescue, Zane.”

  Frustration churning through him, he folded his arms in front of him. “Why won’t you believe me?” She had to know he had never lied to her. Never pretended to want or need anything he didn’t.

  Looking as piqued as he felt, Nora took a deep breath and tilted her face up to his. “Because, Zane, if I know anything, it’s that duty-driven soldiers like you never change.” Her soft lips thrust out stubbornly. “If they did—” she paused to look him in the eye and let her harsh wo
rds sink in “—Liam wouldn’t be my son. He’d still be my nephew.”

  Chapter Five

  Zane blinked in surprise. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  Nora passed a hand over her eyes. What was it about this man that had her spilling her guts every chance she got? Especially when she had sworn to keep the circumstances surrounding Liam’s birth private!

  She slumped against the porch railing, knees weak, hands clamped tightly on either side of her. “My sister, Davina, is Liam’s biological mother.”

  Zane took her by the hand and led her back inside his house. The next thing she knew he was taking off her coat and leading her over to the sofa. Sitting next to her, he wrapped an arm about her shoulders and clarified with gentle astonishment, “And your sister gave him over to you to raise?”

  Nora nodded. “Yes.” It was a relief to finally talk about this with someone outside her family.

  “But why?”

  “Because Davina couldn’t bear to leave the Army.”

  Zane stood and went over to light the fire in the grate. “She could have remained a military linguist and still been a mother.”

  “True.” Nora watched the logs flame. “But she wouldn’t have been able to sign up for the extremely demanding assignments she favors. Not with a clear conscience, anyway.”

  Zane replaced the screen, then came back to her. “What about Liam’s biological father?”

  “He’s in military intelligence. And was no more interested in becoming a parent or leaving the military than Davina was, but they both knew I wanted a family.” She sighed. “So they asked me if I was interested in adopting. Otherwise, they were going to give the baby over to a private agency, right after birth, and let them find loving parents and a good home.”

  Zane walked into the kitchen, returned with two fresh cups of coffee. “So you said yes.”

  Noting he’d added just the right amount of flavored creamer to hers, Nora took a long, enervating draught, let the beverage warm her from the inside out. “Not right away. To tell you the truth, I kept thinking my sister would change her mind. Especially when she was confronted with the reality of meeting her newborn infant for the first time. In any case, she stayed at a friend’s place in Pittsburgh during the last four months, while she was on medical leave, and I flew up to be with her when she gave birth to Liam.”