A Baby for Mommy

by Cathy Gillen Thacker

  Dan moved closer. “Cut the act. I know you’re upset and you have every right to be. Uh…you probably should not be packing up these books in your condition.”

  Emily crossed her arms. In the soft light of her loft, she looked even more beautiful. “Notice I’m not actually lifting any of the book boxes.”

  Dan studied the determined tilt of her chin. “Yet.”

  She flushed.

  Guilty as charged, Dan thought.

  A roll of tape in her hand, she knelt, a feat that wasn’t all that easy, given the figure-hugging cut of her black wool skirt. “Just say what you have to say, Dan.”

  He held the edges of the box together for her. He sensed he didn’t have much time before she booted him out, so he went straight for the bottom line. “There’s no reason for you to be jealous.”

  She dispensed the tape with a ripping sound, patted it none too gently in place, then slowly stood up. He did the same.

  “What did you say?” she demanded indignantly.

  Exasperated, Dan replied, “That there’s no rea—”

  The soft press of her index finger against his lips made him stop.

  “I’m. Not. Jealous.” She enunciated the words.

  But she certainly looked it at this moment, Dan noted with a satisfaction that was distinctly male.

  “Confused, perhaps,” Emily said, dropping her hand.

  His lips still tingling from her touch, Dan caught her fingers in his. Confused? “About what?”

  She looked down at their intertwined hands, swallowed and said softly, “Why you felt the need to keep it from me.”

  Dan knew how it looked, but there had been nothing disingenuous about his actions. The truth was, whenever he was around Emily, it was hard to think of anything but her.

  “I wasn’t doing that,” he argued.

  To his frustration, her defenses remained firmly in place. Her gaze mocked him. “Really.”

  “Yes. I was focused on other things at the time,” he told her, his eyes still locked with hers.

  Emily released a slow, deliberate breath. “Like kissing me?”

  A wistful feeling swept through Dan. Suddenly he wanted everything to be different. Starting with the boundaries they had tried to erect between them. “Like…everything about you,” he said quietly. He watched as her irises darkened. “The way your hair gleams in certain lights. The softness of your lips. The vulnerability in your eyes and the maternal happiness you radiate. You are so beautiful, Emily.” He didn’t think she had any idea. “So incredibly, remarkably beautiful that when I’m with you, I can only think of one thing, and that’s doing everything I can to make you happy.”

  He gathered her close. Feeling her melt against him, he kissed her cheek, her temple, the shell of her ear. Intoxicated with the sweet, silky feel of her once again, he inhaled the delicate blend of perfume and woman. Their lips touched in a tender kiss.

  “This isn’t sensible,” Emily said, splaying her hands across his chest.

  “Forget sensible,” he told her gruffly, as astonished as she appeared to be by the way he was putting himself out there, allowing himself to hope that second chances might actually be possible. “And just be grateful instead,” he persuaded her softly. “Grateful that we found each other. Grateful that it might not be too late for either of us to get what we want in this life. Grateful for all the days and weeks and months ahead.”

  Emily had told herself she wouldn’t fall into the trap of being with a man just because she was at a point in her life where she did not want to be alone. She’d told herself that wanting each other desperately wasn’t enough of a reason for two people to be together. In her heart of hearts, she knew there should be more than just desire and affection. There should be love and shared ideals and the kind of commitment that would last a lifetime. She and Dan did not have that, might never have all that, and yet…it was so easy to believe that after sharing a few hot kisses and the experience of having her baby move inside her, they just might have a shot at something special.

  Dan was certainly everything she could ever have hoped the man in her life would be. Tall and handsome. Smart. Kind. The type of man who would do anything for his kids—and for her.

  “Emily…Emily…” He buried his face in her hair and a ragged sigh escaped his lips. “You’re going to have to tell me to leave.”

  Now, she ordered herself sternly, before it’s too late. But even as the thought occurred, she knew she couldn’t. She had been alone too long. Without comfort and closeness and the exhilarating completion of physical intimacy. She wanted him. She wanted this.

  So instead, she pressed a kiss to his collarbone, took him by the hand and led him toward her bed. “Not,” Emily said softly, looking deep into Dan’s eyes, “before we do this.”

  DAN KNEW AS WELL AS Emily did all the reasons the two of them shouldn’t be together. But damned if he could think of a single one as she sat on the edge of the bed, looked at him expectantly and kicked off her slippers.

  His pulse racing as out of control as his heart, Dan knelt before her and pressed a kiss to her knee. She shuddered with reaction. Hands encircling her waist, he brought her hips to the very edge of the bed. Her skirt rode high on her thighs. Wanting to please her, he parted her knees and slipped his hands between them.

  The air was thick with lust and the harsh sounds of their breathing.

  Emily wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned forward so they could kiss again, and kiss they did. Slowly, patiently, softly, hotly. Dan’s body throbbed as he eased a hand beneath her sweater. He caressed her through the fabric of her bra, the fullness of her breasts filling his hands, the tautness of her nipples pushing against his palm. Need spiraled through him. Trembling with passion, Emily reached for the hem of her sweater, lifted it high above her head.

  Her bra was black satin and lace that, thanks to a swiftly unhooked back clasp, soon went the way of the sweater. He hadn’t been this turned-on…well, ever. “Lovely,” he murmured.

  “The veins…” Emily ducked her head self-consciously and touched the bluish lines running across her pregnancy-full breasts.

  “They’re perfect, too,” Dan said, never meaning anything more, and to prove it, kissed everywhere he’d touched. Caressed and stroked. When her back arched and she moaned, he moved down the curve of her belly to the elastic insert at the top of her maternity skirt.

  “I suppose,” Emily said breathlessly, lifting slightly to allow him free rein, “this has to come off, too.”

  “Most definitely.” Aware he’d never wanted to possess a woman more, Dan eased it off, then followed with tights and panties.

  “This feels…awkward,” Emily whispered as he kissed his way from her navel to her knee. Her cheeks blushed a pretty pink as she looked at him with the same overwhelming need he felt. “I’ve never…”

  “Made love as a pregnant woman,” Dan guessed, liking the excited glitter in her eyes.

  Emily nodded, her breath coming erratically.

  “Then,” Dan said, kissing her thoroughly before moving lower still, “you’re in for a treat.”

  DAN HADN’T BEEN KIDDING, Emily thought dizzy moments later as he slowly disrobed and joined her on the bed, pulling her back into his arms. Pregnancy hormones amplified everything and his sensual expertise brought forth even more. “You are so right,” she whispered.

  Common sense told her they wouldn’t be doing this again.

  But for now…

  What was one night, one moment in time, except something to be grateful for? And she was grateful for the feel of his strong arms around her as he guided her onto her back and stretched out beside her. One arm sliding beneath her shoulders, he lifted her head to his. The kiss drew them closer still. She explored his body as wantonly as he had explored hers. And then they were shifting again, he was bracing his weight on his arms and draping his body over hers. Inundated with the masculine warmth of him, she put her arms about his neck and opened herself to him. To
the sensation of being taken, and the knowledge she was taking in return. To the feel of being one with him. To the idea that family was not completely out of reach. And then all was lost in the heat and intensity of the moment, of the rushing adrenaline and the thrill of the pleasure that spiraled out of control and morphed into sweet, hot satisfaction.

  For long moments after, they lay like that, bodies shuddering and intimately entwined, his weight still braced on his arms.

  With her eyes shut, Emily savored the closeness. It had been so long since she had been held. So long since she had felt so much a woman, so wanted. So long since she had dared hope—

  And of course that was when Dan’s cell phone went off, the chime breaking the silence of the room. That was all it took to dispel the sensual, carefree mood.

  Dan tensed. A second later, he carefully disengaged their bodies. Reached down beside the bed and removed the cell phone from his belt. He glanced at the screen and relaxed slightly. “That was a text message from Walt. He said Ava is upstairs studying, and Tommy’s working out one last time before bed. Kayla is asleep…and he’s going to bed himself.”

  Dan texted back, then put the phone aside. Looking completely relaxed, albeit slightly distracted, he rolled onto his side and propped his head on his upraised hand. Feeling a bit guilty for keeping him from his kids, Emily said, “If you want to leave…”

  Dan shook his head. “No. That’s the last thing I want.” He wrapped a strand of her hair around his fingertip. “This is the first time in years I’ve lost track of the fact I’ve got kids at home and the responsibility that goes with them. To be honest, I’d forgotten what it felt like to be with someone this way.”

  Emily had never known what it was like to be with someone this way. To feel that nothing mattered but being in Dan’s arms, receiving and returning his kiss. He’d opened up a whole new world of wanting to her tonight.

  “You must be looking forward to the empty nest everyone talks about,” she suggested.

  Dan’s lips quirked into a wistful smile. “I have to admit there are times when the thought of being able to do what I want, when I want, sounds pretty appealing.”

  His longing hit home. Emily wanted to look out for his best interests the way he had unselfishly looked out for hers. “Which is maybe why,” Emily supposed softly, trying to be cautious, for both their sakes, “we shouldn’t let this go any further.”

  Dan’s brows drew together.

  Emily rose, wrapping the sheet around her. She disappeared into the bathroom and came back in a white, terrycloth spa robe. She sat on the edge of the bed beside him, her natural practicality taking over. “You’ve carried the never-ending responsibility of fatherhood for eighteen years now.” And you’re already looking forward to regaining your freedom. “I’m just getting started with the whole parenthood thing.”

  His eyes darkened and he captured her hand with his. “That doesn’t mean…”

  She stopped him with a smile meant to let him off the hook. “I know you’re a stand-up guy—”

  “Who isn’t into one-night stands any more than you are,” Dan interjected gruffly.

  Emily nodded and forged on. “And because of that…because you’re so decent and honorable, because we’ve both been alone for so long, we’re both going to be tempted to make this more than it is.” She placed her finger on his lips before he could interrupt again. “I’m telling you, you don’t have to do that.” She paused, letting her words sink in. Nervously she traced the seam on the belt of her robe. “I’m letting you off the hook.”

  He studied her inscrutably, silent now. “You want to pretend this never happened,” he said finally.

  Realistically? Now that the hormonal need to be with someone had ebbed? Emily didn’t see it any other way. “You and I both know that what happened between us was mostly due to the fact I’m pregnant…and alone.” And on the brink of falling hard for you. Emily swallowed. “Hormones aren’t a basis for a relationship.” Nor was what had happened earlier that day.

  “Today…in my office…” Dan started.

  Emily lifted her hand. “There’s no denying that was a truly magical moment. It would be for any two people who happened to find themselves together in that particular circumstance.”

  Dan remained unconvinced.

  “I’m really happy you were there to share the moment with me when I first felt my baby move.” Okay, now she was babbling.

  Dan studied her, his emotions now as tightly wrapped and hidden from view as her own. “So am I,” he said warily.

  “And that lent an intimacy to our relationship that would not otherwise have been there. Had it not happened, I would’ve walked out at the end of our conversation. And that would’ve been that. There would’ve been no embrace, no second kiss. And certainly no lovemaking tonight.”

  Once again Dan was silent. He rubbed the flat of his hand across his jaw, looking suddenly so much older than his years. “What do you want to do?” he asked eventually.

  Be with you again, Emily thought, without complication or consequence or thought to the future. But she knew she couldn’t do that. She would soon be a parent. Just like Dan. She had to be responsible. To her baby, to Dan. And what he needed was not what she had to give.

  Her throat tight, she forced herself to do the right thing and say, “I think we should go back to being employer and employee.”

  And if they were lucky, she mused dispiritedly, perhaps even friends.

  Chapter Seven

  Dan wasn’t sure what he expected when he came in from work Wednesday evening. Certainly not family togetherness.

  Ava had her homework and AP textbooks spread out over the kitchen table. A tall glass of ice water and fruit plate next to her, she had her headphones and iPod on and seemed to be studying intently. Through the big kitchen windows, Dan saw that Tommy was outside on the back deck, still in his wrestling-practice clothes, talking on the cordless phone. Walt was outside, too, arranging the wood that had just been delivered into manageable stacks. Emily, in a burgundy chef’s smock and trim black pants, had her head bent next to Kayla’s as the two pored over a cookbook. The tableau before him made his heart skip a beat.

  How long had it been, he wondered, since the members of his family had come together without being forced to do so?

  How long since he’d felt the jolt of sweet and tender awareness he experienced every time he laid eyes on Emily?

  How long had he been able to go today without remembering how great it had been to make love with her?

  And yet, he reminded himself soberly, Emily had made it clear that their lovemaking the night before had been a one-time-only thing. A fling that needed to be appreciated for what it was and then promptly forgotten…if he wanted her to continue working in his home.

  “Daddy, we’re going to make our own pizzas tonight, and then after dinner we’re going to make corn bread,” Kayla explained.

  Dan looked at the big bowl of salad sitting on the counter and the bowls of toppings, ready to go on six individual-size pizza doughs.

  Tommy came in through the back door and set the receiver on the hook. “Some lady from the elementary school called,” he announced cheerfully. “You’re confirmed for tomorrow, Dad.”

  Dan blinked. “Confirmed for what?”

  “Making corn bread stuffing with me!” Kayla announced.

  Frowning at Dan’s blank look, Ava took off her headphones. “It’s the Thanksgiving feast, Dad,” she said, exasperated. “The third-graders get together and make turkey and stuff, and then sit down with their parents and eat together. They do it every year.”

  “Usually the week before Thanksgiving,” Tommy chimed in.

  Embarrassed to feel so clueless when it came to his kids, Dan shook his head. “I don’t remember that.”

  “That’s ’cause you weren’t there when I was in third grade,” Ava said matter-of-factly. “Mom was—or she was supposed to be until she had some emergency come up at the hospital.”
>
  Tommy studied the pizza fixings, then chowed down on a thin slice of green pepper. “No one was there for me, either,” he said. “But all the other kids had their parents there.”

  Guilt stung Dan. Life had been completely chaotic during those years of his marriage to Brenda. Two careers going full force, no one really minding the store at home. The kids had survived, but they’d been hurt.

  With a glance that was equal parts sympathy and censure, Emily plucked a piece of paper off the counter. She handed it to Dan, looked him straight in the eye and brought him up to speed. “Kayla’s teacher sent this reminder home with her. You’re supposed to show up at school tomorrow morning at nine, with two thirteen-by-nine pans of corn bread and the rest of the ingredients for the stuffing.”

  “And then you teach the kids in your group how to make it and let them help,” Ava said. “Pretty simple stuff.”

  For an ace in the kitchen, Dan thought. He had his hands full trying to follow the directions on a store-bought frozen dinner.

  “What’s the matter, Daddy?” Kayla wrinkled her nose.

  “I’m not sure I can be there on such short notice,” Dan admitted reluctantly.

  Kayla’s face fell. Her lower lip trembled and she looked ready to burst into tears.

  “I can go in your place, if you like,” Emily offered.

  Their eyes met, held. Dan wasn’t sure how he felt about the bailout. Relieved or unfairly spared. He only knew he was glad Emily was there.

  Emily put an arm around Kayla’s shoulders. “I’m very good at teaching people how to cook,” she said.

  Kayla glared at her father, then turned to Emily, wrapped her arms around Emily’s middle and buried her head against Emily’s chest. “I’d like that very much,” she said.

  EMILY WALKED INTO THE Fort Worth elementary school cafeteria, where bedlam reigned even without the third-grade students in attendance. In the midst of all the women running to and fro setting up the early-morning cooking activity stood a lone man. In a forest-green dress shirt and black slacks, Dan stood uncertainly off to one side. He held a folded-up white apron and wore a mildly confused expression.