Unmending the Veil

by Lisa Heaton

  The next morning, Robin sat with Emma at the breakfast table and told her of the things that had transpired in North Carolina and since she had returned. When she told her of her plans, Emma cried, but was happy for her still. In the years she had been with her, Robin had finally begun to live again. Because of the transformation she saw in her daughter, Emma found hope. She, too, sought Him and was finding Him faithful. While difficult to know she would no longer have Robin there day in and day out, as her mother, she wanted her happiness above all else. Grateful for the time she shared with her, Emma had to be a mother willing to let her fly, her little Hummingbird.

  Robin mailed her letter to Mike, deciding not to call him. As they had lived and loved through the written word from teenagers to a newly married couple, and ultimately a separated one, it befitted their love story to reunite in the same manner. His declaration was the beginning of the end of life apart. Her plan was to show up and surprise him. In her mind, she tried to imagine his reaction, what the look on his face would be. Many times since they parted that last morning – that was the face she would see when she thought of him. When he pushed his plate away, he was devastated, and his eyes clearly reflected his pain. Soon, that would change. It was all she could think of while packing, wrapping her arms around him, telling him she was home forever. Forever. That word brought with it memories of Christmas Eve, of how close they came to making love. He had said, “When it does happen, if it does happen, it has to be forever.” It would be forever.

  Emma helped her, and between the two of them, they had Robin’s things loaded into the car by late Wednesday afternoon. It was her plan to spend the next morning with Emma, leave around mid-day, then stop for the night when she became too tired to drive. She would be waiting for Mike when he returned home from work on Friday.

  After lunch, Emma walked Robin to her car. She was weepy, having been so all morning. Stan would be arriving soon after Robin left. He was a good man, and she was so blessed to have him in her life. Though they had shared it with no one, not even his family or Robin, they were talking about marriage. With Robin gone, Emma would be ready to start a new life with him. Without question, he was a gift from God.

  “Becky and Tommy will be here soon. Don’t worry.” Robin had been fretting that she was leaving her with no help. “After finals, they will both be here. If things get too hectic, I will hire someone for mornings, to help with breakfast.” Taking Robin’s face in her hands, she assured her, “Hummingbird, I’ve got this. It is time for you to fly again.”

  “I know. I just worry about you, though. I love you.”

  “Sweet girl, I know you do, and I love you more.”

  Wrapping her arms around her, Emma reveled in the fact that she had a daughter who loved her. All the shame and guilt she had carried over the years was lifted, and she felt freer than she had felt in over thirty years. The secrecy was finally over, and she could do the things for Robin that she had always wanted to do. After Robin and Mike returned from California, she wanted to buy them a house to give them a fresh start. Of course she insisted that Robin’s parents make the arrangements, as if they were paying for it. She wanted to give her everything she had not been able to over the years. Money meant nothing to her, but Robin was everything. “Listen, when you get there, it may be like starting over. If you need anything for the house, you let me know. I love that kind of thing. You know that. Let me help you.”

  “I will.”

  “One more thing.”

  “What?”

  “Someday, I want you to have this place. It could never mean to anyone else what it means to us. It is a special place, a place where you and I were both healed.” Again, she put her hands on Robin’s face. “Don’t get me wrong; I am not throwing in the towel anytime soon, but when I do, I want it to be yours.” She had already discussed it with Stan when they first spoke of marriage. It would be settled legally.

  “I would be honored to take over someday.” The thought of Mike and her coming to the inn was a good one. He would retire at some point, and when he did, they would have a glorious time together there.

  “Get in the car already.” Emma laughed through her tears.

  Hugging her again, Robin admitted, “I would have never made it without you.” Whispering in her ear, she reminded her, “We are no longer damaged goods.”

  “No, Hummingbird. We are both free to fly.

  As it had become his adversary, most days, Mike passed by the mailbox without stopping. Often, by the time he would check the mail, several days’ worth had piled up. This day, he passed by again, and pulled on up to the house. Getting out of the truck, he looked back down the gravel drive, knowing he needed to check for bills. They were all that came, that and sale papers. So slowly, dreading the feeling of disappointment he would find there, he made the walk down to the road anyway. He knew he would not hear back from her after his letter, and truthfully, he knew it was for the best that he didn’t. It was time to let her go, no matter how it hurt and saddened him. Someday, he would find a new normal. As he had done before her visit in September, he would settle into a routine of normal life again. Different, though, after having lived with her in his life for a brief season, and subsequently falling so much more deeply in love with her, it could never be as it was. He would live, but just barely.

  Opening the door, he found the stack was quite large, and rather than sort through it in route, he held the bundle at his side. Checking the mail had become the saddest part of his week. Walking back up to the house, he wondered what she was doing. From what she had once told him, their busy season was about to begin. Was she preparing for that? Every day at random times, he would wonder such things. At breakfast, he would wonder what kind of protein she was eating. He wondered how many cups of coffee she would drink and if she would use the mugs he gave her for Christmas. Each morning, he drank milk out of his Love mug, regretting having kept it at all. Who needed the reminder, and why did he feel compelled to wash it every night just to have the same reminder the following morning?

  Clearly, he admitted to himself and to the Lord, he was losing his mind over her. But it was beyond his ability to control. She was his every waking thought, and while thinking of her was painful, not thinking of her caused him to feel an even deeper sense of emptiness, the likes of which he had never known. Even in solitary confinement, surrounded by such wickedness, he did not feel as alone as he had since he saw her in Raleigh. Every man had a breaking point, and he was reaching his. Day after day, he waited for the Lord to give him even the slightest bit of comfort, but so far, it never came.

  Inside the house, he tossed the pile onto the kitchen table and went in to change. He was going by his mother’s, then to meet Tim at the gym that evening. Prior to things ending with Robin, they met earlier, right after he got off work. But he found that nights there alone drove him crazier, so they agreed to change the schedule. Often, afterwards, they would eat dinner together or shoot hoops. As a means of avoidance, he was up for any activity that would keep him out of the home his wife made.

  After a strenuous workout, one that would leave Tim virtually immobile the next day, Mike and Tim went out to the diner. As they ate, Tim asked, “Have things been any different for you?”

  “No, not really. These people here are crazy.”

  “Maybe they are just forgiving.”

  “Obviously not.” He thought of Coach Andrews’ wife. She practically chased him down the sidewalk to tell him how sorry she was and that she wished she had known the truth before. He was not sure what transpired between them the day Robin came to visit him, but it must have been significant to them both. Thinking back to that day, when he offered her a cookie, there was something unusual about her expression. She seemed embarrassed, or self-conscious, or maybe a bit of both. With new insight, he realized how hurt she must have been over whatever was said. Anything that would bring Robin to tears was a big thing. Tempted to write to her and tell her what Mrs. Andrews said, he knew better.
It would be a mistake to try to begin communicating with her again. He simply had to let her go. The truth was, though he would like to try and maintain a friendship, he was not able to simply be her friend. He would always be compelled to tell her how much he loved her, and to kiss her, and hold her. While with her at Christmas, it was nearly impossible to keep up the pretense. Even then, especially then he proved his inability.

  Tim offered, “I really am sorry about how things turned out. I held out hope, I guess.” Early on, he was concerned for his friend, but after Christmas, he had a sense in his spirit that somehow God was up to something extraordinary. Tim was disappointed for him, and knew, no matter what he said about his future, Mike was just as disheartened by the prospect of living without his wife. What he never doubted, though, was his sincerity about never marrying again. If it were anyone else, he would think, “Oh, give him some time.” But not with Mike. He could honestly say, he had never seen a man love a woman more.

  “I don’t know that I had hope exactly, but I wanted to. You were right. Thanks for not saying so.”

  “You have to know, I didn’t want to be right. I was just trying to look out for you.” He sat for a moment, hating to see the look on his friend’s face. As long as he had known him, this was the lowest he had seen him. With as many prayer concerns as he had in the church, Mike seemed to stay at the top of his list, especially lately. Still though, he sensed God was up to something. It was a feeling he could not shake.

  Mike walked into his quiet house and went into the kitchen. Beginning to sort through the stack of mail, he stopped abruptly. It was a letter from Robin. His hands trembled slightly as he ripped open the envelope. His mind could hardly conceive that she would write to him again. Maybe she was missing him as badly as he was missing her. Or maybe she just felt sorry for him. Unfolding the page, he read,

  Sweet Michael Sr.,

  Seeing his name written as such caused him to gasp. Suddenly feeling the need to sit down, he pulled out a chair and plopped down heavily. Unable to imagine what the letter could contain, part of him feared reading on, feared hope. For a moment he sat there, until finally, curiosity got the better of him.

  You had a declaration to make; I have a confession to make. When we first began writing back and forth, you asked me a question. I dodged

  it. You asked again. I said I forgot what I wanted to be back in ninth grade. I lied, but only because I wanted to spare you the pain of my answer. The truth is – all I ever wanted was to be your wife. I wanted to be by your side while you pursued your dreams. That was my dream. I wanted to have your children. Michael was my greatest joy.

  All those things are still true today! Thought you might want to know.

  You have my heart!

  Robin

  With his breath caught in his chest, Mike considered for a moment that he might drop dead from happiness. Would that not be some irony? His hands were more than trembling by the time he finished the letter, they were shaking outright. Robin wanted to be his wife. She said specifically she wanted to be his wife! Jumping from his chair, it went flying behind him, crashing into the refrigerator. Not caring in the least, he went into his room and began taking clothes out of the closet and piling them onto the bed. There was no way to know what the future held, but finally, he had hope, real, genuine hope. As he packed, his intent was to go to New Hampshire and pursue her with all his might. He would woo her and court her. Nothing would stop him. Having her letter as proof that she wanted to be with him again, he would do anything and everything to make that happen.

  Deciding not to call her, he instead would write to her and ask her to marry him again. Somehow it seemed fitting that he write. It was how their new story began, through written words. Stopping for a moment, he tossed around what he would say, but never fully came to any conclusion of what he might write. One thing he knew, he would begin by saying, “Oh, me of little faith.” Since they began writing, he had prayed for many things, but never, had he had the audacity to pray that she be his again. What little faith he had in a gracious Father who loved him well. “Lord, You always knew.”

  The next morning, he went into the Sheriff’s office and closed the door. Sitting down across from his longtime friend, Mike began. “First of all, I want you to know how much I appreciate your fighting for me, helping me to get my job back. Second, I consider you a great friend, and I will miss you. But the bottom line is, I have a chance with Robin, and I am going to take it.”

  It was settled. He was going after his wife.

  19

  Finally in sight of her little yellow house, Robin was more excited than she was nervous. In the past weeks since her ponderings on where she belonged, at last, she knew without doubt. It was less about where she was, as it was with whom. She belonged with Mike. No matter what had happened in the past, he was her husband. No matter the humiliation that would certainly come, she belonged home, with him. After the journey God had taken her on over the past two years, she found Him to be trustworthy. If He said go home, then home was the safest place to be. He would deal with all things that came against her.

  The morning she left, she copied some of Mike’s letters, especially the one where he opened up about what things were like when he came home from war and mailed them to her parents. Apologizing for having kept their relationship a secret, she tried her best to help them see the new man he had become, not changed, but new. Explaining how God had orchestrated their restoration, she had to believe the Lord would soften their hearts toward him. It mattered to her that they accept him back as part of the family, but also she knew that if they refused to, it would not change the reality of it. For her, this was forever, so somehow, they would have to learn to be around him without the bitterness they currently felt toward him.

  On the front porch, she opened the screen door and found the front door to be unlocked, which did not surprise her. Opening the door, she stepped inside the living room, and the house seemed to welcome her, envelope her in. Built in the late twenties, her home had charm that newer homes lack. The ceilings were high and the moldings were heavy and thick. Painted a crisp white, they framed the bluish grey walls perfectly. Mike had worked for weeks just on the restoration of the woodwork. The room felt warm and comfortable, just the same as when she left.

  Straight across from the front entry was a large cased opening leading into her kitchen. From the moment she laid eyes on the old-style farmhouse kitchen, she fell in love with it. It was what made her say yes to the home and where she spent most of her time. Stepping through the doorway, it took her back to their early days. But with a flash, the spattering of Mike’s blood came to mind. Through prayer, she pushed the dreadful memory away. “Forget the former things. See, I do a new thing.” It was one of her favorite verses from Isaiah. She sensed she would need that verse often in the days to come, as memories would certainly flood her mind and the accuser would certainly accuse.

  To the back and right of the kitchen was a small hallway. To the left of the hallway, the closed door was Michael’s room, to the far right, her and Mike’s. In between them was a shared bathroom. Moving into her bedroom, she found the bed littered with clothes. She smiled at the realization, he was coming for her. Wondering what his plan was, she was most certain he was geared up to fight for her. Little did he know, no fight was necessary. Looking at her watch, she noted she had an hour or two before he came home, so she began putting his clothes away. Afterwards, she began making trips to her car, unloading her belongings. Lifting the last box from the trunk, she sighed, feeling particularly relieved.

  Searching the refrigerator and cabinets, she found little to make dinner. It had been her hope that she could have it waiting for him when he arrived home. After all his belly-aching about having to eat out, she was excited about surprising him with a home-cooked meal. When that plan fell through, she was glad she had stopped and bought a box of donuts. Some traditions should be maintained. He would appreciate them, and without question, understand th
eir meaning.

  It was nearly five o’clock when she heard the familiar sound of his truck grinding to a halt. For the first time in a very long time, she was an object perfectly placed. She was at home waiting for her husband.

  Mike threw his truck into park. Before it was fully stopped, he jumped from the cab and walked over to Robin’s car. The trunk was open and empty, so he closed it. Could this be what it seemed? Standing still for a second, he looked back up at the house. Was it at all possible he would walk through that door and find his wife had returned home for good? Jogging toward the steps, he found her waiting at the screen door. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she wore jeans, cropped off at the knee, with a blue long sleeve t-shirt. Her smile was sweet and her eyes sparkled as a result of her surprise. At that moment, there was no doubt, she was home for good. His heart was pounding and he could barely catch his breath.

  “Honey, I’m home,” she whispered.

  He nearly pulled the door off the hinges he tugged so hard. Grabbing her, he circled his arms around her and lifted her from the floor. For the longest time, he could say nothing. By the way she clung to him, he had no doubt she was his again. As if God turned back the hands of time, undoing all the damage Mike had done, He brought her home to him. She was his, and in his heart, he promised his Lord he would not fail Him again. He would love her and cherish her the way He intended.

  Finally, wanting her to know he would give up anything, everything, for her, he said, “I was coming there to be with you. I know it’s painful for you here. We don’t have to stay. As long as you are with me, it doesn’t matter where we are.”

  “Home, I want to be here at home with you. I don’t care what anyone thinks. Honestly, that was what kept me away these past months. Deep down I knew I could have no life without you. But I was afraid and too proud, though. None of that matters now. The Lord said to go home. So I’m home.”