A Chance at Love

by Silvia Violet

  Mitch scowled. “Don’t keep me waiting long.”

  Asshole.

  Darren had been so startled by the sight of Chance standing there with his brother, he hadn’t known what to say or how to react. He wasn’t prepared to tell Mitch about Chance because Mitch was only going to be an asshole like he always was, like he’d been when he insisted he had to meet with Darren that very day. He’d only bothered to tell Darren he’d be in town the day before. Yes, Darren should have mentioned it to Chance, but he was freaking out about the party and— Fuck. That was no excuse.

  “Chance!” he called, stepping into the bedroom.

  Chance emerged from the en suite bath. “Go talk to your brother.” Darren had never heard him sound so bitter.

  “I’m sorry. I…” Darren didn’t know how to explain why he’d acted like he had.

  “Just go back downstairs. I’m going to get dressed, go home, and do the work I should’ve been doing last night.”

  “Chance—”

  “We’ll talk later, after your brother is gone. Like he said, you don’t need some half-naked kid in the way.”

  “You know I don’t think of you as a kid.”

  “Right now, I’m not sure what I know.”

  The words cut through Darren. He reached for Chance, but Chance stepped back. “Not now. I don’t want to talk until you’ve had more time to think. Things were good while we ignored the difference in our ages and our lives, but I’m not sure I know how to be with someone whose world is so different from mine.”

  Darren stared at him, hurt, angry, confused. “I thought you understood I was more than some rich asshole.”

  “I thought I did too.”

  Darren walked away, because he was afraid of what he might say. He yanked open his closet, grabbed a shirt and a pair of pants, and pulled them on.

  He heard Chance walk out of the room while his back was turned.

  ***

  Chance barely made it through Darren’s front door before tears began to fall. By the time he was in his car, he was sobbing. It was several minutes before he could see to drive. He should have woken Darren up even though he was hungover as hell and off-balance, feeling out of place the night before. He should have texted him before going to bed last night. Or maybe he just shouldn’t have opened the door or his mouth.

  At a stoplight, he leaned back, closed his eyes, and took slow, careful breaths until the car behind him honked at him to get moving.

  Anger at himself shifted to anger at Darren. Chance had every right to say what he did to Mitch. Darren had introduced him as his boyfriend the night before. It wasn’t as if his brother didn’t know Darren was gay, and Darren said it didn’t matter that Chance was so young. None of this was Chance’s fault. He deserved Darren’s support.

  When he arrived at his building, Chance slipped inside quickly, keeping his head down and hoping he wouldn’t see anyone. He just wanted to be alone, but when he opened his door, he saw Marianne and Joon chatting on the couch.

  Marianne’s mouth dropped open. “What happened?”

  Chance wasn’t sure he could speak without crying.

  “Chance, man, are you all right?” Joon asked.

  “I…” He shook his head. “No.”

  Marianne rose and took Chance’s arm. “Come sit down.”

  Joon disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a glass of whiskey.

  Chance frowned. “It’s…” He glanced at his phone, then immediately turned it over. He had several texts from Darren, but he was not going to read them now. “Nine thirty a.m.”

  Joon shrugged.

  What the hell did it matter? Chance took a sip and then another. The fiery liquid warmed him. Maybe he did need a drink after all.

  “Now talk,” Marianne said.

  Joon made a disgusted noise. “Give him some space.”

  “Chance doesn’t do silent. If he’s not talking, something is wrong, and he needs our help.”

  Chance tossed back the rest of the whiskey.

  “That should get him talking,” Joon said.

  “I just want to sleep.”

  Marianne shook her head. “No fucking way. Not until you tell us what happened.”

  “Did something go wrong at the party?” Joon asked.

  “The party was… I didn’t…”

  Marianne frowned. Chance knew she was worried about him. Joon went into the kitchen again. “I’m making you food and tea.” Joon was worried too, and feeding people was his way of taking care of them.

  “I knew Darren and I weren’t going to last,” Chance finally said. “I should’ve turned him down that night at the auction.”

  “Turn him down?” Joon shut the fridge and turned to stare. “Only an idiot would turn that man down.”

  “Then I should have just let it be a one-night stand.”

  “Is that what you wanted?” Marianne asked.

  “No, but…”

  “From what you’ve told us, it seems he has a lot more attributes than just being rich and gorgeous. Like being…nice.”

  “Nice?” Joon said. “You want to be a writer, and you’re going with nice?”

  Marianne rolled her eyes. “Kind. Generous. Open-minded. Eager to please.”

  She said the last one in a lower, far sexier voice that made Chance think of Darren in bed, struggling to do what Chance told him, fighting the urge to move as Chance thrust deep and hard, desperate to be all Chance wanted. Why? Why was he willing to surrender like that if he didn’t want more?

  “He’s all those things, but we’re just not…”

  “Not what?” Marianne asked.

  “I’m twenty-three, and he’s forty. He’s rich and part of a world I don’t belong in. I grew up walking around in cow shit, and—”

  Marianne scowled at him. “Don’t start that I’m-just-a-hick-boy-from-Texas shit. I didn’t buy that when we first met, and I sure as hell don’t believe it now.”

  “It does get him laid sometimes, though,” Joon said.

  Marianne gave him a death glare.

  “I’m just saying.”

  “Make food and don’t talk.”

  He made a face at her behind her back, and Chance actually managed a smile.

  “I get that you’re worried,” Marianne said. “You and Darren are different, but I’ve seen how that man looks at you.”

  “You didn’t see how he looked at me this morning.”

  “What happened?”

  “His brother, Mitch, showed up unexpectedly. I opened the door because Darren was in the shower. Mitch treated me like shit, and Darren just… He didn’t say anything. He didn’t even fucking confirm that I was his fucking boyfriend.”

  Chance pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, willing the tears to stay where they were.

  Marianne laid her hand on his thigh. “I’m sorry. It sounds like he panicked and acted like a dick.”

  “His brother knows he’s gay.”

  “But Darren told you he was an asshole about it, right?” Joon said.

  Chance nodded. He’d told Joon and Marianne a little about Darren’s background, about his father leaving, about him deciding he wanted to help people rather than be a cutthroat lawyer, and his family’s reaction to him coming out.

  “Maybe Darren was nervous about seeing him.”

  Chance’s stomach flip-flopped. What if she was right? “Are you taking his side?”

  “No, but I’m forcing you to think harder.”

  Chance groaned. “I don’t want to think.”

  “You also don’t want to piss away something that’s been making you happy as fuck for the last month.”

  It had been thirty-four days since he’d seen Darren again at the auction. Thirty-four life-changing days.

  “She’s right,” Joon said. He set down a tray of small dishes filled with radish kimchi, a sweet-and-sour spinach thing Chance loved, and marinated squid, his favorite.

  Chance picked up a pair of chopsticks and started ea
ting, suddenly realizing he was starving. Joon and Marianne followed suit.

  A few minutes later, Chance’s phone rang, startling all of them. Darren’s name and a picture of him at the equine center flashed on the screen.

  Joon and Marianne stared at Chance. He started to reach for his phone, then pulled his hand back.

  Marianne grabbed it and answered it herself.

  “Chance’s phone…Yes, he is, but I’m monitoring his calls…That’s right…Okay. I’ll tell him…I’ll tell him that too, even though you’re pushing the sympathy angle a little too hard…Yes, I know…Goodbye.” She tapped the phone and set it down.

  Chance opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, because he didn’t know if he was angry or relieved. His emotions were too jumbled up to separate.

  “Darren says he’s sorry. He wants to apologize in person, and he will be home most of today and tomorrow night if you decide you want to talk.” Marianne paused.

  “What else?”

  “Roger missed you on their morning walk.”

  “Fuck, no. He did not use the dog for sympathy.”

  “He did, but it’s kind of sweet.” She looked to Joon for confirmation.

  “She’s right. It kind of is.”

  Chance glared at her but then deflated. “I miss Roger too, but Darren was still a dick.”

  “Truth. But he sounded sincere.”

  Joon whistled. “He must’ve been. She never believes any of her exes.”

  Marianne kicked him.

  While Joon rubbed his leg and acted dramatic, Marianne said, “You should go talk to him.”

  Chance looked at Joon, and he nodded his agreement.

  “Is there really a point? After the stupid party, I knew it wasn’t going to work. I was so out of my league; then he sent me home and stayed there for hours.”

  “As the host, wasn’t he required to stay until everyone left?” Marianne asked.

  “Yes, but—”

  Joon waved off his attempt at protest. “He probably sent you home so you didn’t have to put up with all those shmoozy assholes.”

  “Maybe, but—”

  “Maybe he realized you’d had your limit of ass-kissing,” Marianne said.

  “No way. Chance will never have his fill of that,” Joon said. He and Marianne erupted in giggles then.

  “You two are children.” As soon as he said those words, Chance felt hurt all over again. He pressed his lips together and closed his eyes.

  “Oh, fuck,” Marianne said. “That’s what you’re really worried about. That Darren sees you as a child.”

  Joon scooted over and wrapped an arm around Chance. “Trust me, he doesn’t.”

  “His brother did, and I met Darren’s niece last night. She’s close to my age.”

  “So what?” Joon asked.

  “So it was awkward.”

  Marianne frowned. “For her or for you?”

  “For me. She seemed fine.”

  They both looked at him expectantly.

  “I get what you’re saying. But his brother… And one of the honorees last night was a bitch to me, and these other women were mocking me being with Darren. It all made me feel… I don’t know. It just sucked.”

  “Chance, since when do you live your life according to what others expect?” Joon asked. “You’re the guy who hung disco balls around the lab to liven it up.”

  Marianne smiled. “And the one who wears green corduroys despite that being a crime against fashion.”

  “His ass looks good in them, though,” Joon added. When Marianne glared at him, he quickly said, “You once insisted on teaching a whole bar full of people how to two-step.”

  That had been a hell of a lot of fun. “I was drunk that night.”

  “Not too drunk, or you couldn’t have danced like that.”

  “I can dance like that drunk off my ass. It’s in my blood.”

  Joon rolled his eyes. “Fucking Texans.”

  “You should teach Darren how to two-step,” Marianne said.

  Darren would probably love that. Chance could take him to a gay cowboy bar, and they’d have the best time. Things would be good again for a while, but then they’d realize once again that they didn’t belong in each other’s worlds.

  “That’s not going to happen, but I’ll go over there and talk to him. It’s not right to leave things like this.”

  Marianne sighed as she let go of his hand. “You’re going to fuck this up, aren’t you?”

  He stood, not wanting to lose his resolve. “I’m going to do what needs to be done.”

  “Chance, talk to him.”

  He ignored Joon as he grabbed the car keys. Then he closed the door firmly behind him.

  He was going to tell Darren that they should stop seeing each other. They’d tried out the real world, and it didn’t work for them. Maybe Chance was a fucking coward, but he’d been there before, falling for someone, thinking they cared. He’d been younger and stupid, so he hadn’t seen it coming. This time he did, and he was going to stop things before he got hurt.

  You really think this won’t hurt?

  Okay, it will, but the longer it goes on, the worse it will be.

  You’re going to break his heart. And yours.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Darren sat at his kitchen table, picking over his breakfast—brunch? Lunch?—whatever-the-hell meal it was. He hadn’t been able to tolerate anything other than cup after cup of coffee as he listened to his brother rant about their mother growing more forgetful. Mitch wanted to force her into an assisted-living facility. Darren suggested a day nurse, but his brother insisted she’d be better off if she had other people to talk to. That might be true, but Darren also knew Mitch wanted her house.

  Darren had resolved to visit her soon and find out what she wanted. It had been months since he’d seen her. Had her health really deteriorated that much? Mitch was likely exaggerating. He always exaggerated anything that might cause him any trouble. That’s what this was all about; their mother being a burden on Mitch.

  Darren sighed and handed a bite of the omelet he wasn’t eating to Roger, who’d been sitting by Darren’s chair more patiently than usual. Could he tell Darren was upset?

  “You wish he was here too, don’t you?” he asked the dog.

  Roger tilted his head and then barked.

  “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  Darren couldn’t stop remembering the pain in Chance’s eyes when Darren hadn’t agreed that Chance was his boyfriend. Darren had hurt Chance because he’d frozen. It was like he was a kid again and Mitch was telling him all the reasons he was inferior. Mitch had been a bully and an asshole since Darren could remember. At least after Chance left he’d managed to tell Mitch he wouldn’t tolerate any of his bullshit about their age gap, but that wouldn’t fix things with him and Chance. He was scared nothing would.

  ***

  The doorbell rang a bit later. Darren was sitting on the couch, snuggling with Roger and watching Pride and Prejudice because it was Chance’s favorite movie and Darren was a sentimental sap. He turned the TV off and headed for the door, Roger at his heels.

  It had better not be Mitch again.

  He checked the peephole. It was Chance. His heart began to pound. Stay calm. Explain how Mitch affects you.

  He opened the door, and Roger squirmed to get past him and greet Chance. “Hi.”

  “Hi.”

  “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

  “I wasn’t sure I would either,” Chance said.

  Darren stepped back so Chance could enter the foyer. When Darren shut the door, the click of the latch echoed in the hallway. They walked to the kitchen, but neither of them spoke for several seconds. Then Darren said, “I’m sorry.”

  Chance nodded. “Thank you, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

  “Chance, I—”

  “Hear me out.”

  “All right,” Darren said, even though his mind screamed at him to make
Chance listen to him first.

  “You need someone to accompany you to parties like the one last night, someone who fits in like you do.”

  Darren didn’t want to date a man from those circles. He’d tried that, and it had sucked. “Betsy Lang doesn’t fit in with most of those people. Neither does my niece.”

  “True, but Caitlin was the only other person there under forty.”

  Darren pulled a seltzer bottle from the fridge, needing a moment to think. “Would you like some?”

  Chance shook his head.

  Darren poured himself a glass, wishing it was bourbon instead. “Not every event is like that. Maybe it was the wrong one to take you to first.”

  “I’m not sure it would matter.”

  Darren couldn’t stand seeing Chance look so defeated. “So, you’re not comfortable in my world right now. That doesn’t mean things won’t get better.”

  “It doesn’t mean they will either.”

  Darren changed tactics again. “I loved meeting Joon and snacking with you at your apartment.”

  “That’s great, but are you going to be comfortable going out drinking with us when you’re the only person over twenty-five?”

  “I’m willing to find out.”

  Chance ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up. “Darren, come on, we both knew this couldn’t last.”

  Where was the man he’d met on the plane? “Since when did you get so cynical?”

  “Since I wanted something—really wanted it—and saw that it would never work.”

  “I was wrong to not support you this morning. I can explain. It’s not an excuse, but it will help you—”

  “I don’t want an explanation. I just wanted to tell you…” He squeezed his eyes shut and looked away.

  Darren felt the sting of tears too, but he was as angry as he was devastated. Why was Chance giving up on them? “So this is really it? The real world is too much for you?”

  “Apparently, at least when you throw me into it.”

  “Throw you?”

  “How was I supposed to know what to say? If you didn’t want Mitch to know we were together, you could have told me that. I was standing there in your sweats. Who the hell did he think I was? The pool boy?”

  “I don’t have a pool.” The words came out more cutting than Darren meant them. “I’m sorry. I truly didn’t think he’d show up before you left.”