A Chance at Love

by Silvia Violet

  He was exhausted when they returned, though he doubted he could sleep. He poured food into Roger’s bowl and noticed his phone on the floor.

  Shit. He’d forgotten about dropping it. He picked it up, but before he could check for messages, someone rang the doorbell.

  Who could that be?

  He looked at his phone then. Four missed calls. All from Chance. He hadn’t thought Chance would call back, but he’d called and texted and… The doorbell rang again. Oh God, was that him at the door?

  Darren ran across the room, realizing he wanted it to be Chance more than he’d wanted anything in a very long time. He pulled the door open, and Chance stood there, arm raised as if he’d been about to knock.

  “If you don’t want me here, just tell me. But you weren’t answering your phone, and—”

  “Come in. Please. I didn’t think you’d call, and I left my phone here while I took Roger on a walk.”

  “I was in a movie and didn’t get your call. I’d never ignore a friend who needed me like that.”

  He still loved Chance so much. Tears stung his eyes, threatening to spill.

  “I’m so sorry about your mom. If you want to talk about it, I’ll listen. Or if you just want to talk about something else. Whatever. I’m here.”

  “I don’t know what I want.” Darren’s voice was rough and slightly choked as he tried not to cry. Chance was really there, and he wanted to help.

  Roger came bounding into the foyer then, which meant he’d finished scarfing down his food.

  “Don’t jump,” Darren admonished.

  He jumped.

  But Chance clearly didn’t care any more than he had the first time Darren had brought him there. He just scratched Roger’s ears and grinned at him.

  “Hey, boy. I missed you.”

  “You did?”

  Chance looked at Darren like he was crazy. “Of course I did. He’s a great dog.”

  “Yeah, he is. He knew just what I needed tonight.”

  “To get out of the house?”

  Darren nodded. “Do you want a drink?”

  “If you do. I’m okay either way.”

  Darren was nervous as hell around Chance, so some liquid courage was in order. “I need one.”

  “Then I’ll join you,” Chance said, following him to the kitchen.

  “Bourbon?” Darren asked.

  Chance drew in a sharp breath.

  “Too many memories?” Bourbon had become their special drink after Chance tried it for the first time when they met on the plane.

  “Yes, but I’d still like some.” He settled onto a stool at the counter as Darren got two glasses from the cabinet.

  “Thank you again for coming over. I had no right to call you.”

  “It’s not about rights,” Chance said. “You needed someone, and I’m happy for it to be me.”

  “Even after…” Darren let his voice trail off and concentrated on pouring their drinks.

  “You lost your mom. This isn’t the time to worry about what happened between us.”

  “Honestly, I’d rather worry about us than my mom. I need to stop hearing all the horrible things we’ve said to each other on a loop in my head, jumbled with my favorite memories from being a kid. It’s so fucking confusing. I don’t know what to feel. I’m sad she’s gone, but she hurt me even though she claimed to love me. I don’t know how to reconcile those sides of her.”

  “Oh, Dare.”

  Darren downed his bourbon and clunked the glass on the counter. “That was probably way more than you wanted to know.”

  Chance stood and walked over to him. He laid a hand on Darren’s shoulder, and it was warm and comforting. Darren wanted to lean into him, but he held himself still.

  “All those parts of her were part of your reality,” Chance said. “They existed, and they still do in your memories. You aren’t required to reconcile them.”

  “But I don’t know how to react. Do I cry or yell or what?”

  “All of that.”

  Darren shook his head. “I wish I could just block it out.”

  “That will only hurt more later.” Chance took a small sip of bourbon. Darren remembered the night he’d taught him how to savor it. He wanted to turn and kiss him, but he knew better.

  “I think that’s what Mitch is doing, blocking it out. He treated arranging the funeral like any other business proposition.”

  “Did he have a better relationship with her?”

  Darren shook his head. “Different but not better. His not being gay meant there was less tension. He stayed closer to her as an adult than I did, but I honestly think he hated her far more than I ever did.”

  Chance rubbed Darren’s back, but he didn’t say anything. He was just there, not showing pity or judgment, but only willingness to listen, which was exactly what Darren needed.

  “Mitch blamed our mom for Dad leaving. It wasn’t her fault. After he brought another woman to their bed, she discovered he’d had a series of affairs almost from the beginning of their marriage. Yet Mitch sees her as the one who broke up the family because she told Dad to leave.”

  “Wow. That really sucks.” Chance squeezed his shoulders, digging his fingers into the tense muscles.

  The massage felt so good, Darren bit back a groan. “What sort of family does he think we would’ve had if they had stayed together? One based on lies? Of course, that was basically what we had anyway. Maybe he blames her because until she caught our dad, we were able to pretend we were the perfect family. She ended that illusion. At first I sort of hated her for that too.”

  “And it made it hard for you to trust people.”

  Darren turned to look at him. “How do you always know what I’m thinking?”

  “I tend to read people fairly well, but with you it’s easier. It’s like your emotions are so strong, so right there for me.”

  “No one else sees me like that.”

  “Then keep talking to me, because I do. And I think maybe you’re learning some things about yourself.”

  “Things I don’t want to learn.” A few of the tears he’d kept in check slid down his cheeks. “Things I should be embarrassed to tell you.”

  “But you’re not?” Chance asked.

  “No. Because it’s you.” He looked at Chance then, really looked at him like he’d been too nervous to do before. “Wait. Are you wearing a Powerpuff Girls shirt?”

  Chance grinned. “I sure am. I have Mojo Jojo socks on too.”

  Darren chuckled. “Of course you do.”

  When he reached for the bourbon to pour himself another, Chance laid a hand on his arm.

  “Have you eaten today?”

  “Not much, but—”

  Chance took the bottle from him and set it down. “If you want another drink, you have to eat something.”

  Darren could tell from his expression that there’d be no use challenging him on that. He did feel a bit hungrier now that Chance was here. “All right.”

  Chance opened the fridge. “What have you got in here?”

  “Not much. I haven’t had groceries delivered since I got back.”

  “Hmm.” He moved over to the pantry and poked around for a few moments. “Any chance you like my favorite sandwich?”

  “What is it? Or should I be afraid to ask?”

  “Peanut butter and potato chip.”

  “Seriously? I haven’t had one of those since I was a kid. My mom used to make them for me in the summer. Never to take to school, but during summer vacation.”

  “Is that a good memory?”

  Darren considered that and then nodded. “Yes. It is.”

  “Then that’s what we’re having.”

  ***

  Chance presented him with a plate containing a peanut butter and potato chip sandwich and chunks of cantaloupe. A perfect meal for someone who was six. Or apparently someone having a breakdown, especially when it was accompanied by a double bourbon.

  “You’re not making me clean my plate be
fore I get my drink?” Darren asked.

  Chance pursed his lips like he was considering it. “I was going to trust you.”

  “You can. See?” Darren picked up his sandwich and took a bite.

  “Good.” Chance grabbed his own plate and joined him at the table. Neither of them said much while they ate, but after Chance polished off the last bite of his sandwich, he laid a hand over Darren’s. “Do you want to talk more, or would you like a distraction?”

  What exactly was he offering? Their gazes met, and Darren read uncertainty in Chance’s eyes. He hoped Chance couldn’t read the desperation in his own. “A distraction would be nice.”

  “Good. Do you have speakers down here?”

  “Speakers?” Darren asked.

  “We need some music.”

  “What for?”

  Chance grinned. “I’m going to teach you how to two-step.”

  Darren wasn’t at all sure that was a good idea. But he wanted Chance to stay, and he did need to think about something other than his grief. “You two-step?”

  “What Texan doesn’t?” Chance exaggerated his accent, and Darren realized he was apparently acquiring a Texan-accent kink.

  He showed Chance the Bluetooth speaker he kept on a shelf above some cookbooks. Chance paired his phone, and country music burst from the speakers. Chance quickly turned the volume down, and then he held his hand out to Darren.

  “Come on. You’ll learn quickly since you’re already a good dancer.”

  Darren stepped into Chance’s arms, wondering how he would stand being so close to him when they were no longer lovers.

  “Just let me lead,” Chance said. “Feel the music and go with it, like with any kind of dancing.”

  “I’m not—”

  “What?”

  Darren shook his head. “I was going to say ‘good at letting others lead,’ but you know a different side of me.”

  Chance’s cheeks pinkened, and Darren was sure he was remembering Darren surrender to him. “Trust me, okay?”

  Darren nodded and let Chance entwine their fingers. He put his other hand on Chance’s waist.

  Once Darren got the rhythm and stopped letting himself get distracted by listening to the stereotypical lyrics about pickups and women, he realized he was having more fun than he’d had since his last date with Chance. Why had he invited Chance to that damn party?

  “Stop thinking and just dance.” Chance pulled him closer, and Darren gave in to the movement and the warm sensations Chance stirred in him.

  The song finished and another began. As they circled the kitchen, Darren closed his eyes and concentrated on the way Chance’s hand felt against his, the sway of Chance’s hips, the strength in his arms.

  When he looked at Chance again, he was smiling at Darren. “I love that you can feel how to move without seeing where you’re going.”

  “I couldn’t if you weren’t leading me.”

  “Then close your eyes again, because I’m not going anywhere.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  A few moments later, Darren realized they’d stopped dancing. They were so close, he could feel the heat of Chance’s body. He looked down and watched Chance’s chest rise and fall. His breaths were coming as fast as Darren’s.

  “I want you.” It was obvious, so Darren figured he might as well say it.

  Chance’s eyes widened, and Darren would swear he could feel Chance’s need.

  “I want you too, but I’m scared of what will happen.” Chance’s voice was low and soft, and it made Darren shiver.

  “Me too,” he said.

  “I still don’t…” Chance paused. “Nothing has changed.”

  “I still want to try again, but if this is just comfort for a night, that’s okay.”

  Chance nodded. “Okay.”

  Darren cupped the back of Chance’s head and kissed him, a light brush of lips, but Chance didn’t let him stop there. He gripped the front of Darren’s shirt and brought their lips together again. The kiss was soft at first, but once Darren gave Chance the lead, things turned rough and desperate. Chance consumed him, and he was content to give him all he wanted. He sucked on Chance’s tongue, groaning when Chance worked his hips, rubbing his cock along Darren’s.

  Chance tugged on Darren’s shirt, lifting it, and he raised his arms so Chance could pull it off.

  “Yes.” Chance tongued Darren’s collarbone and bent to suck on one of his nipples. The sharp near-pain pulled a moan from Darren, and he slid his fingers into Chance’s hair. “More. Please.”

  Chance grinned and sank to his knees.

  Darren watched as he unfastened his pants and then pushed them and his briefs over his hips, letting Darren’s cock spring free.

  Chance held his gaze as he grasped the base of Darren’s shaft and brought the tip to his lips, swiping his tongue over the head.

  Darren gasped. “Chance. I—”

  “Shh!” Chance’s breath skimmed over his cock, and Darren shivered. Then Chance sucked him down, and he fought the urge to thrust, wanting Chance to be in control, to take this where he wanted it to go.

  All too soon Chance let Darren’s cock slide from his lips and stood.

  “Turn around and brace yourself on the table.”

  “What? Here?”

  Chance smirked. “Yes.”

  “What about the windows?” Darren gestured toward the front windows overlooking the ocean.

  “We’re too far back to be seen, and besides, you like the danger, the possibility that someone might see you.”

  “I…” Fuck. He did.

  “So?” Chance raised his brows and inclined his head toward the table.

  Darren’s heart pounded. “You’re still dressed.”

  “I think you’ll like that too. It’s so dirty. Getting fucked by someone who’s just going to pull his cock out and shove it up your ass.”

  Darren’s knees threatened to give. “I love it when you say things like that.”

  “I know you do.”

  Chance slapped his ass hard enough to sting. He liked that too.

  “Hands. Table. Now.”

  Darren did exactly as he was told.

  “That’s more like it. I’ll give you more of that if you do as you’re told.”

  “Don’t people usually get spanked for disobeying?” Darren asked.

  “Not when they like it as much as you.”

  His words made Darren’s cock jump.

  “Now don’t move. I’m going to get what we need.”

  “There’s a condom in my wallet and lube in the table by the couch in the den.”

  “For when you watch porn?” Chance asked.

  “Yes, dammit.” Why was admitting that embarrassing when he was naked and braced against his kitchen table?

  Chance called to Roger as he walked away, and the dog followed. “I’m going to close him in the den so he won’t disturb us.”

  When Chance got back, he pulled Darren’s wallet out and extracted a condom. Then he laid it and the lube on the table. “You look so fucking good like that, waiting for me. Spread your legs wide and arch your back. Show me how much you want this.”

  Darren looked over his shoulder. Chance’s eyes were dark, and his cock strained against the fly of his jeans.

  He moved closer. “Head down.” He gave a gentle kick to Darren’s ankle, and Darren widened his legs.

  “Now show me what you want.”

  Darren pushed his ass out. He wanted to say something, to tell Chance how much he wanted this. But he couldn’t get any words out, and part of his brain told him to stay quiet or he’d break this fragile spell holding them together.

  “Perfect. Now don’t move.”

  Chance slapped Darren’s ass harder than he ever had before. A cry tore from him before he could stop it.

  Crack! Chance spanked him again.

  “Fuck!”

  “Say ‘red’ if you want me to stop.”

  Darren nodded. He didn’t want Chance to st
op. He wanted him to keep going and going. He wanted to hurt. He pushed his ass out in invitation, and Chance gave him what he wanted, his hand landing right where the last slap had; the sting made him whimper.

  “Don’t hold back. I want to hear everything. I want you to give it all to me.”

  “Oh God, Chance.”

  Chance spanked him again and again.

  The pain moved from a sting to something far worse and yet better, something deeper, something that threatened to make Darren fall apart.

  “Chance. Chance. Please.”

  “Are you okay?”

  Darren nodded. Chance brought his hand down again, and Darren cried out. It hurt so bad. He wasn’t sure he could take more.

  But Chance kept going, and he did.

  When Chance stopped, tears were flowing down Darren’s cheeks. He collapsed against the table and sucked in air.

  Chance laid one hand on his back and caressed his burning ass with the other. Darren flinched. Chance stilled, letting his hand rest on Darren’s ass cheek. “So gorgeous. So red and so hot.”

  “Chance?” His voice shook.

  “I’m right here.”

  “Fuck me.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Darren pushed up onto his elbows. “Please. I need you. I need more.”

  Chance gripped his ass, and Darren gasped. He dug his fingers in, and Darren almost begged him to stop, but he breathed through the pain as Chance pulled his cheeks apart. When he pressed his thumb against Darren’s hole, Darren tensed.

  “Relax and let me in.” Chance slid his other hand up and down Darren’s spine, and Darren arched his back. How could he want something so much and yet be afraid of it?

  Chance pressed his thumb into Darren, deeper, deeper. Darren exhaled a shaky breath, trying to open for Chance.

  “So good. You’re so good,” Chance murmured.

  His words made Darren feel warm, loved. “More. Please.”

  “You’ll get what you need when I decide you’re ready.” Darren shuddered as Chance worked the digit in and out and then added his other thumb, stretching Darren wide.

  Darren pushed back, trying to get more. He was desperate for friction on his cock, but he wanted to please Chance.