Love, Lust, and The Lassiters

by Merrill, McKenna

  “All right?” he asked in her ear. “Am I hurting you?”

  “Yes, no, it’s fine. It’s wonderful, Simon . . . . mmmm.”

  He began to move, gently, in and out, his mouth buried in her neck, his hot tongue touching her skin. “Is this all right, Beauty?”

  “Simon, yes, yes, it’s good.” She grabbed his hair and pulled at it as his body went up and down. His mouth found her breasts and enjoyed them, and her hands moved to his back, squeezing spasmodically as they pleasured each other.

  “Simon,” she breathed, and watched more shooting stars behind her closed eyes. “We fit—so well,” she gasped into his ear.

  He chuckled, nuzzled her, pumped harder, faster, for a long and marvelous time, and finally held still above her, his expression blind, a glorious god with dark, passionate eyes: and then he collapsed.

  “Oh, Beauty,” he said, recovering, tasting her earlobe. It was then that he felt the tears running down the side of her cheek. He was up on his elbows over her, all concern. “Oh, God, I hurt you!”

  But she was smiling. “No, no. I’ve never been so happy. It’s just—the release. The tears came . . . when I did.”

  They laughed, their limbs entwined, their lips together.

  **

  Later, snuggled with her back against his chest, his arms around her and playfully touching her breasts, she said, “Simon.”

  “Hmmm?” he said softly.

  “I want to tell you something. The truth.”

  She felt the arms around her stiffen slightly.

  “What do you mean?” His voice was careful, expressionless.

  She sighed. “Simon, I’m in love with you. I think I have been since you first kissed me, on the very first night.” The arms around her relaxed. She felt his relieved exhalation on her neck.

  He turned her around, looked into her eyes. His own glowed green in the darkness. “Say it again. Say you love me.”

  “I love you. I can’t help it.”

  “I love you, Veronica. I do, I do. My father always told me—”

  “The Lassiter tradition?”

  Simon sat up. “How did you know?”

  “He told me, too. I think he thought I was afraid of it, and he was right. But he told me about your mother and him. How they met, and how he kissed her the second he met her. And I felt so much better. They were married for how long?”

  Simon lay back and smiled at the ceiling. “Almost forty years,” he said. “Would you like to live with me for forty years?”

  She climbed on top of him. “Would you make love to me like that every night?”

  He smiled. “Maybe. But some nights I’d make love to you like this.” He pulled her down, and they began again.

  Chapter Thirteen

  She woke early, when the light was still dim, and found herself pressed against Simon’s sleeping form. She moved her lips sleepily against his warm flesh, smiled as his curling chest hairs tickled her nose. She felt exhausted, blissfully used, and very loved. Simon smiled in his sleep. He was so handsome, she thought, gazing at him, touching his body. She couldn’t keep away from him; she couldn’t stop touching him. She felt now exactly what he said he had felt for her, from the very first moment. She had a whole new sympathy for his suffering. She ran a finger along his jaw, then traced his lips, which were slightly parted in sleep. She wanted him to wake up, kiss her, make love to her, before she crept away to her own room.

  “Simon,” she whispered. “Simon.”

  He woke abruptly, with a little snort, and she giggled. “I should go soon,” she said.

  “No.” He closed his eyes again, still half asleep, and pulled her toward him, kissing her lazily. “Never go.”

  “Simon, we agreed. It’s too early to tell everyone. This is just for us.”

  “Mmmmm,” he said, as his hands began to wake up and explore her. “Just us.”

  Then they didn’t talk, for quite some time.

  Afterward, he was much more awake, but tired in a different way. “You are some lover, girl,” he said, slapping her lightly on her naked rump. “I just want to shout it from the rooftops.”

  “But you won’t,” she said dryly, reaching for her dress, which still lay crumpled on the floor.

  “It’ll have the same effect if someone sees you leaving my room in yesterday’s outfit,” he pointed out, sitting up and yawning, and then watching her dress. “God, your body is gorgeous. Why don’t you come back here for a quick little good-bye?”

  “No, sweetie. I have to go.”

  “Sweetie. That’s nice. I’ll also answer to loverboy, hot stuff, godlike, darling, and eternal flame.”

  She laughed as she zipped her dress. “You are my eternal flame. But right now it’s only going to burn in here. Or in my room.”

  “Yes, dear.” Simon played with the covers, watched her go into the bathroom, and waited for her to come out. “Listen, Veronica, there’s something—”

  “What happened to Beauty? I like it when you call me that,” she said, coming back in, sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning in for a kiss.

  “Mmmm. Beauty,” he said. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  She sat up. His voice held a certain warning, and she felt a bolt of fear. “Is it him? Another note?”

  “No, no, Baby.” He stroked her hair, looking slightly worried, and she thought of a new concern. She’d risked everything last night, put her heart on the line, confessed her love, offered her virginity. If Simon was about to break her heart, she didn’t know if she was ready to hear it.

  “What is it?”

  At her tone, the look on his face melted into softness. “Babe, it’s nothing like that. Do you think I could ever tell you anything to hurt you? After what we did, what we said to each other? No, you’re just going to be a little pissed at me.”

  She thought she understood. “I know you didn’t use any birth control. I didn’t, either. It was irresponsible of us, Simon, but we won’t make that mistake again.”

  He looked surprised. “Oh, Beauty, I don’t care; I’d love to have a baby with you.”

  She felt a pang of love so strong that she climbed into his lap. “Simon,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around him. “I want babies with you, but not yet. I want to love you, and know every inch of your body, and learn everything there is to know about you. And travel with you, and spend time with you, have holidays with you. Oh, Simon, we’ll have Christmas together!” she said, her eyes shining.

  “Okay, okay, I need to tell you this. Before we rush off to the altar, I have to tell you that I did something, and you’re going to be mad at me, but I want you to count to ten before you say anything.”

  Something in his face told her the truth. “You didn’t.”

  “I called your sister. Actually I talked to your mom. She gave me your sister’s number, and yes, I talked to your sister.”

  She stared at him. “Why?”

  “Because, Beauty, I saw you cry, and I couldn’t help it. I love you, and I want to solve all your problems, and I want to be your hero, your shining knight. That’s going to annoy you after a while, I suppose. Maybe after we have a few more daughters I can divide some of it amongst them and Lilah.” He was rambling, she knew, trying to stave off her reaction, whatever it might be.

  She took her arms from his shoulders, put them in her lap. “What did you say?”

  He took a deep breath. “I said I was in love with you, and you missed her, and I invited her up to the inn as my guest.”

  She shook her head, disbelieving. “And what did she say?”

  “She said she would love to. She’s coming up with your mom.”

  “Not Rick?”

  “He’ll join her at the weekend. He’s working.”

  “Ah.” She stood up, walked to the window. She didn’t know how
to feel. On the one hand, she felt angry, but on the other, she was relieved that all he had done was try to solve her problems, rather than tell her something that would break her heart, like that he didn’t really love her, or she wasn’t good in bed, or that they’d made a mistake.

  “Veronica? Are you mad at me?”

  “When will they get here?”

  “Today. I invited her before this whole . . . thing got crazy with the notes. I wouldn’t have complicated things if I had known. Now they’re practically on their way, so my hands are sort of tied at this point.”

  She turned back to him. He looked very vulnerable, sitting there naked in the bed, waiting for her to reveal her mood, like some sort of vengeful goddess. “You had no right, Simon.”

  “I know. I acted on an impulse, and—”

  ”It’s my life, my problem. I told you those things in confidence. If I had ever dreamed—”

  ”I know. I’m sorry. I’ll call them, I might catch them; I’ll tell them to cancel the flight.”

  She walked back to the bed and sat back down. “But it’s also the sweetest possible thing you could have done, and I love you so much I don’t know what to do with myself.” She pulled him into her embrace, kissing him hard, digging her hands into him, thrusting her tongue into his surprised mouth.

  She stood up, happy to see him looking rather dazed, with a silly smile on his rumpled head. “I have to take a shower,” she said, and she left him.

  * *

  Suzie James observed her youngest daughter as she struggled with a bag of airplane peanuts. She’d hadn’t seen Juliana look so happy, so glowing, since the day of her wedding. And then the glow had been muted by a long-standing pain. “She might be angry, you know,” she told her daughter. “She’s been holding a grudge for a long time. I know my Veronica, and still waters run deep. She was the quiet one, but that’s why it hurt her so much.”

  Juliana turned to her, passionately. “Don’t you think I’ve been hurting, Mom? I feel a pang of guilt every time I kiss my husband. I need this to be settled, I need my sister back. It wasn’t something I planned, I’m not evil.” She stared moodily out the window, watching the clouds float by.

  “I know, honey.” Suzie patted her hand, took one of her peanuts. “You poor girls nowadays, everything is about true love and romance. It makes life so painful.”

  Juliana flared at her. “As if you didn’t love Daddy? Wasn’t he your true love?”

  Suzie shrugged. “I loved your father, and he loved me. We had a good marriage, a good friendship, a very peaceful life. But I don’t really believe in true love. If I hadn’t met your father, I would have met someone else. That’s how life is, honey. Romantic love is the promise that never comes true.”

  She’d shocked Juliana, she knew it, but she was too old to indulge their illusions, and so were they. Her daughter was twenty-three now, old enough to understand.

  Juliana persisted, however. “But it was true love, with Rick and me. It was love at first sight. That’s why all of this is so tragic,” she said, looking for all the world like a fairy tale princess, with her long golden curls and her theatrical expression.

  Suzie remembered them as children—such beautiful girls, everyone in town said it. They’d play princesses, and they always got married to someone at the end. Juliana married a prince, it was always a prince, and Suzie and Harry had laughed—it’ll have to be royalty for that one! Veronica had just married a man. Sometimes he was a Steven, or a Jacob, or a Roger. She didn’t insist that he wore a crown in her game of make believe, but it was always very clear that he loved her. Veronica had always wanted to be loved, deeply, utterly, romantically.

  Suzie sighed. “The man sounded nice. Mr. Lassiter. You say he told you he was in love with your sister?”

  “Yes,” Juliana said, enthusiastically. “He said he loved her at first sight. They only met two or three days ago.”

  “And how does Veronica feel about him?”

  “I don’t know. He didn’t say. I was in such shock, I didn’t ask many questions.” She shrugged, turned back toward the window. “God, Mommy, I’ve missed her so much. And I’ve cried so much. Rick tried to contact her a couple of times, but nothing. And then we heard that she left that school in Chicago, and I thought, well, that’s it. I’ll never see her again. And now this.” She turned back to the clouds, thoughtfully.

  Suzie nodded. It would be wonderful, truly, if her daughters would reconcile. She couldn’t believe how quickly the problem had flared and shattered their quiet family. They’d never had any sorts of family squabbles before, any sort of drama at all. In a way, Suzie regretted it. She regretted giving her children such a quiet life, regretted that they never really left Iowa, regretted that they were so sheltered. When a test came, neither of them had been able to handle it. So they needed to live life in pain, and learn from that. Suzie, too, had gained wisdom from it all, and a new perspective on her quiet life.

  If they reconciled, fine. If not, she would accept that, too, but she wouldn’t go home, not right away. Now that she was finally going somewhere, she was going to keep moving. She’d brought a good portion of her savings along, and she intended to hop on a plane going anywhere and do herself some living. She and Harry had always said someday, someday. Now she knew that someday never came. There was today, that was all.

  She heard the stewardess announce that they should prepare for landing. She fluffed her short gray hair, straightened her pretty blouse, and took her daughter’s hand.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Simon got to the office early, but Logan was already there. He looked tired, but happy.

  “What are you doing up at the crack of dawn?” Simon asked cheerfully.

  “I might ask you the same. And why is it that you look noticeably happier than you did yesterday morning? Could it be that Simon talked a certain dark haired beauty into spending the night in his manly arms?”

  “And could it be that Logan March was up all night for the same reason? God, you’re more virile than I; I eventually opted for blissful slumber.”

  Logan grinned. “God, man, I can’t keep my hands off of her. She’s so soft and pretty and cuddly. And she says these amazing things in my ear, and boing! I’m not tired any more.”

  Simon eyed him sternly. “What did I tell you? You’re supposed to propose first.” He ignored the hypocrisy of his own words. Besides, he would marry Veronica tomorrow if he thought she would say yes.

  Logan shifted uncomfortably, peered at the calendar, adjusted his seat, began looking for something in the bottom drawer. Simon looked at him more carefully, and hooted. “You did, didn’t you! You proposed to her last night!”

  Logan shrugged. “In a moment of helpless sentimentality.”

  “But you’re not taking it back?”

  “Not on your life, bro. She said yes, by the way.”

  Simon leaped forward and pumped Logan’s hand. “Well, by God, I think we have champagne around here somewhere.”

  “That Lassiter thing—do you think it rubbed off on me? I mean, we’re almost like brothers. We lived together for four years in college. Maybe I got some of your Irish genes on me. Maybe you left some in the shower, or in the socks I borrowed.”

  Simon laughed, then said softly, “It might be a double wedding after all.”

  Logan sighed. “I doubt it. Sally was up all night murmuring about a wedding in Paris, or how about Venice? Or wouldn’t the Caribbean be romantic?”

  “It would be sinful,” Simon said.

  “Yeah. That one sounded good to me, too.”

  “Little Sally has big dreams.”

  “Yeah,” Logan said indulgently. “Sweet little thing.”

  “I’ll bet a wedding at the inn would please her just as much, as long as she could be with her big hunky Logan.”

  “Who knows?” Logan said. “Now let me work;
it’s almost time for me to go have sex.”

  “You’re going to use up all your, uh, reserves. Best save some for the lean years.”

  “Look who’s talking, Mr. Sex at First Sight.”

  Simon laughed, grabbed a sheaf of papers. “She can’t resist me. I’ll be working with yesterday’s check-outs. Call me if my beautiful lover appears.”

  “Same back at ya.”

  * *

  “Lilah, be honest,” Veronica said. “Which one is better for a reunion with a long-lost sister? Casual, like these jeans and this top? Or more formal, sort of cool and distant, like this top and skirt?”

  Lilah lay on her tummy on Veronica’s bed, dutifully studying the clothes. “I think I would have missed my sister so much, that I wouldn’t notice what she was wearing, I would be hugging her so hard!”

  Veronica looked at her with even greater respect than she had already felt. “You are such a wise girl. I’ll just go casual.”

  “Okay. Hey, do you think my dad is nice?” Lilah asked, sitting up and crossing her little legs.

  Veronica paused in sorting her clothes. “Honest? I think he’s the nicest man in the world. And here’s a bonus: I think he’s very handsome, too. Do you mind?”

  Lilah grinned. “Oh, no. I think my daddy likes you very much, too. He’s been looking at you a lot and making lots of faces at you and things. Plus he took you shopping yesterday, and Grandpa said all he usually thinks about is work. Grandpa said he’s been acting like a boy let out for recess.”

  Veronica grinned. “Do you like recess?”

  “Oh, yes! It’s the best part of school. And Daddy deserves some fun, he’s been working so hard.”

  “Well, I’m glad you consider me fun, Lilah. I really enjoy spending time with your dad. And with you. You’ve become my good friend these last few days.”

  “I know. I already wrote you in my address book. Except I don’t know your address.”

  “Well, I guess our address will be the same for a while, won’t it?”