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Phile exhaled and shrank in size. She tilted her head and studied Rakel. “I…This is…Is this what you want?”
Rakel nodded.
“You’ll have to kill him—and possibly his officers. There’s no way around it.”
Rakel grimaced and pushed away the worry that her sacrifice might make her even more like Tenebris than she already was. “I know it’s wrong, but—”
“No,” Phile interrupted her, her dark eyes glowing with anger. “What Tenebris and his army are doing is wrong. Killing and war are unfortunate realities because of the brokenness of mankind, but the slaughter of innocents is evil. To stop them—if it is within your power—is right.”
“I still wish I could avoid spilling blood—it is not an action I can take back or forget.” Rakel spoke slowly, trying to explain her heart.
“Allowing Tenebris and his ilk to live is far more terrible than killing them and ending their rampage.”
Rakel was silent.
“Can you really kill Tenebris?”
She tried to take a breath, but it felt like she wasn’t taking in enough air. “I believe I must.”
“You won’t hesitate?” Phile asked.
Rakel recalled the charred bones of Asker, and the screams and terror of Fyran—the village on Ensom Peak, the first place she had made her stand, and strangely, she recalled seeing Farrin after Tenebris had disciplined him. Even knowing such decimation, she did not relish taking another’s life, but she could not sacrifice her country merely because she wished Tenebris was not evil. “I’ll hesitate, but I’ll still do it.”
Phile raised her eyebrows. “Killing Tenebris isn’t something you need to feel guilty about.”
Rakel rubbed her chest with a hand, as if it could ease the pain in her heart. “I said I’ll do it.”
Phile nodded and slipped Foedus into its sheath on her belt. “Very well. Then I would be proud to fight with you to the very end.” She offered her hand to clasp, and wore a small but painfully sincere smile.
Rakel teared up and took her hand in both of hers. What have I done to deserve such a friend? “Thank you, but—”
“I’m not letting you face that monster alone, Little Wolf,” Phile said. “I’m not going to let you take on the burden of the entire country and him.”
“You’re right, but I have an even greater favor to ask,” Rakel said.
“Let’s hear it.”
“Kai and Farrin.”
Phile sucked air in between her clenched teeth.
“Kai is too young to understand why I’m leaving him when I promised I would stay,” Rakel’s heart melted at the thought of the young boy. “When he’s old enough, could you explain it?”
“And Farrin? You don’t plan to tell him?”
Rakel released Phile’s hand. “I don’t plan to tell anyone besides you. They would ban me from the battlefield if they knew.”
“The others will understand once they realize what you’ve done. It will take them time to forgive you, but they will come to accept it. But Farrin…he loves you, Rakel. And you cannot deny that you feel the same for him.”
“I know,” Rakel said. “But if I told him…”
Phile tapped her chin. “We’ll have to keep him far away from you when you decide to have a go at it. With his speed magic, he’ll put a stop to it real quick if he figures out what you’re doing.” She hesitated. “Oskar won’t take it well either.” Phile’s voice cracked with worry, but it was lined with an affection that she rarely directed at anyone besides Rakel.
…was I right after all? Is Phile smitten with Oskar? Rakel opened her mouth to ask her, but Phile shook her head.
“When it’s all over…is there anything you want me to tell everyone?” she asked, changing the subject.
It became hard to swallow, and Rakel’s eyes burned as she thought how she would never see any of her precious friends and family again. “Tell them I wanted to do this. I wanted to protect them. And tell them that I love them so much, and I am thankful for them. They made life beautiful.”
“And Farrin?”
Rakel thought for a moment. “If I gave you a letter…could you give it to him?”
Phile’s eyes teared up, and she nodded. She reached out and yanked Rakel into another hug, but while their first had been warm and gentle, this was the fierce hug of one warrior saluting another. “I’d go out with you, Rakel. I mean it.”
Rakel took a shuddering breath, fighting her own tears. “I know.”
“You are the best sort of magic user there is. And I promise, when this is over, there won’t be a person in the world who doesn’t know what you’ve done for us all in sealing up this mirror.” Phile abruptly pulled back and rubbed at her eyes. “We’ll plan everything later?”
Rakel flicked a tear from her cheek. “We’ll have to do it soon. Steinar told me we will begin discussing plans and tactics tomorrow.”
Phile coughed. “Right.” She cast her eyes at the pitch-black sky—the last blushes of color had faded during their discussion. “I think you should join them.” She gestured to their friends gathered around the campfires.
“I suppose you are right. Phile, thank you. For everything.”
Phile nodded. “That’s what companions of the heart are for. Although if you tell anyone how I got my dagger, I will be forced to take drastic countermeasures.”
Rakel laughed. “Your secret is safe with me. Goodnight, Phile.”
“Goodnight, Little Wolf.”
Rakel and Phile went their separate ways—Phile, to greet a night guard, and Rakel to join those sitting around the campfires. She sat down on a log, smiling when she noticed a shadow had ghosted over to her. “Have you had fun playing with the other children, Kai?” She asked.
Kai nodded. “Can I…”
Rakel opened her arms, and Kai snuggled in like a puppy. Rakel fought to keep her eyes clear as she hugged the dear boy, who had already gone through so much. “I love you, Kai.”
“Thank you,” Kai whispered.
Rakel stroked his hair and held him as they watched the fire. After several minutes, Farrin approached the pair and sat on Rakel’s log. “I have something for you, Kai.” He offered the boy a sack.
Kai sat up, easing off Rakel, and peered in it. “Blocks?” he asked, sounding confused.
“For your magic,” Farrin said. “You need to create things to work your magic, and with the snow melting, I imagine it will soon be much harder for you to do that. So practice with the blocks.”
Kai’s eyes lit up, and he reached in the sack, pulling out a few. They were not the bare, wooden blocks like toys, but were beautifully carved and intricately painted. They came in all shapes and sizes; some were thick and big, and others were flat and thin.
Kai’s eyes grew wide as he looked over his new treasures. “Thank you, sir.”
“If you ever want books to give you ideas of things to build, ask Oskar when you’re back at the palace,” Rakel advised.
“I’ll get to stay in the palace, with you?” Kai asked with his heart in his eyes.
Rakel could only nod.
“Kai, let’s eat!” Gerta shouted from across the camp.
Kai’s gaze flickered between Farrin and Rakel. “Can I take my blocks?”
Farrin smiled indulgently. “Of course.”
“Come find me when you’re ready to sleep. I learned a lullaby,” Rakel said with no small amount of pride. “Oskar even assured me that I do not sound like a dying goat when I sing it.”
Kai giggled. “Okay.” He hugged her, lingered at Farrin’s side for a moment, and then impulsively threw his arms around the soldier. He scurried off before Farrin had a chance to reciprocate.
Rakel watched him with a pang in her heart. I’m so sorry, Kai. But you’ll be loved, even without me. She glanced at Farrin and felt a little bit of resentment. Whenever she sat on a log, she felt like a child with her limbs askew. Somehow, Farrin managed to defy the laws of nature and look relaxed and loose sitting next to her.
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br /> The longer she studied him, the more relaxed she became. She let her eyes trace his gray eyes, the white slash of his scar, his strong jaw. It might be kinder if I didn’t tell him how I feel for him, but I want to be selfish in this one thing.
Farrin offered her one of his barely-there smiles.
Rakel froze, caught in a moment of panic. How do I tell him? Do I blurt it out? Do I do something? She felt her forehead furrow as she was caught in a moment of indecision.
Farrin took her hand and stood, tugging her up with him. “Come,” he said.
Rakel followed him, allowing him to lead her north. He stopped at the edge of camp and pointed.
Although most of the snow had melted on the ground, the air was cool and crisp, and the visibility was excellent, giving Rakel a clear view of the mountains that made up the northern border of Verglas.
Farrin placed his hands on her arms and turned her so she faced a specific angle. “There is Ensom Peak,” he said.
Rakel saw a glimmer—like sunlight hitting crystal water—near the mountain top. “Is that…”
“Your ice-castle. Yes,” Farrin said. “When the Chosen first invaded, we thought it was a patch of snow that caught the light right, but if the visibility is good, you can see your castle in most parts of Verglas.”
Rakel reached out and tugged on her magic. She could feel her trapped powers stirring in the castle—even though it was leagues away.
“We’ll defeat Tenebris, Rakel,” Farrin said.
She looked up at him in surprise. How did he know?
Farrin slid his hands down her arms, entwining her fingers with his. “You seemed worried. I assumed he was why.” His white scar was stark in the moonlight.
It’s bittersweet to have someone care so deeply about me—and I about him—and to know we don’t have much time. “He is. Tenebris—and the mirror.” Rakel gazed at her castle. “Thank you for your support, Farrin. Thank you for guarding me.”
“Of course.” Farrin kept his hold of her hands, but his deep voice was a caress of its own.
She shook her head. “No, it’s not of course. You have a rare valiance.”
Farrin gave her a crooked smile. “You give me too much credit. In fact, I have decided when this war is over, I will no longer serve as a leader in the military. I would back out now if I could, but to do so would cause more problems, I think.”
Rakel drew back, pulling her hands from his in her surprise. “You would leave the military? Why? I know General Halvor hasn’t given you an official rank in the army and instead has put you in a position of leadership over the magic users, but I am certain he will work with you to make any changes you desire.” She hesitated, a small pain in her heart. “If you don’t wish to serve as a guard—”
“I never indicated I would stop guarding you,” Farrin said with another of his almost-there smiles. “And I’m afraid that I have no choice but to leave the military. As a leader, one must act for the good of the troops and the best tactic for the battle. I’m afraid I find it hard to focus these days.”
“Why?”
Farrin brushed his fingers against her cheek. “Because when the fighting begins, I have a difficult time thinking of anyone besides you.”
Rakel’s fingers and skin felt tingly—and not because of the cold. This is my opportunity to tell him what he means to me. “I love you,” Rakel blurted out. She tensed—embarrassed and a little mortified at her outburst, even if it was true. Well. That couldn’t have been anymore awkward. She risked a glance at Farrin. He was frozen with his fingers still touching her cheek, his eyes unblinking. She stifled a sigh. “I apologize. I don’t think that was the way a lady is supposed to present her feelings. It was…sudden.”
She felt her face go warm and considered burying herself under an avalanche of snow.
“Rakel.” Farrin’s voice brimmed with tenderness, and it made Rakel drag her gaze up to his. His eyes traced her face and were lit with a gentle glow Rakel hadn’t previously witnessed.
I think…that’s love.
His breath stirred her bangs as he slid his arms around her waist and scooped her closer. Holding her gaze, he drew closer and closer until—almost against her will—Rakel’s eyes shut, and he brushed his lips against hers.
Rakel hadn’t expected much from a kiss. She’d assumed it was a rather sloppy expression when a hug—her most beloved gesture—would convey love in a far more superior manner.
She thought wrong.
Nothing compared to the sensation of being held close—like a treasure—and Farrin’s lips against her own. His heat spread through her like magic, thawing her cool breath and cold skin. It robbed her of her thoughts and her strength. As he cradled the back of her head with a warm hand, she could feel their love fill the air like snowflakes falling from white clouds.
Farrin’s kiss was a soft promise of everything she had always dreamed of—affection, hope, and above all else, love.
He pulled back for a moment, and Rakel had to cling to his chest to keep standing. I never dreamed what falling in love would be like, but I don’t think I could have fathomed anything this incredible. She couldn’t place what was different; it was as if loving Farrin made everything…more. It seemed like there were more stars glittering in the sky, like the cool night air was extra crisp, and—most glorious of all—she could have sworn she felt the zing of his magic.
“I love you, Rakel,” Farrin whispered in her ear. His cheek brushed hers, sending shivers down her spine.
She tried to adjust to this new alignment in her world. For a while, she had known the soft love of friendship and family, but this was shockingly different. Her love for Farrin thrived like the cool core of her magic—consuming and passionate. She had fallen hard for the valiant knight who had reacted with gentle strength. Her eyes teared up, and she pressed her face into his shoulder. She wanted to cry out of pure happiness and desperate sadness, for she knew that in giving this gift of love to Farrin, when they faced Tenebris and she—in all likelihood—died, she would rip his heart into tatters.
For one moment, her heart rebelled. It’s not fair! Must I sacrifice my happiness to stop Tenebris’s destruction? More than anything, I want this moment to last forever.
Farrin slid one of his gloved hands along the back of her neck. “Why are you crying?”
Rakel shook her head and pressed it farther into his shoulder. She took a shuddering breath as Farrin held her and rocked her back and forth, and the warmth he gave her was a bittersweet comfort.
What have I done?
CHAPTER 15
THE PURITY OF LOVE
Rakel was sick to her stomach with nerves and apprehension as she stood on the battlefield and watched Tenebris’s army march towards her.
This was it. Tenebris—after concentrating his forces in the southeast corner of Verglas—had marched west, using a range of hills as cover, and planned to attempt a final push north. Verglas scouts had confirmed it two days ago. So, Steinar gave the order to march out, and General Halvor had organized the troops so they would meet on the Darren Flats—plains that were just north of the southern border they shared with the country of Sarthe.
Though it was a day that would see blood spilled and—hopefully—a tyrant overthrown, the weather was crisp and mild. The sun hung in the cloudless sky that was a brilliant shade of light blue, and the pleasant breeze had helped to dry the flats. They stood not on slush or mud, but dry grass that was still brown with winter—perked with the promise of spring.
This is it. Rakel’s heart beat erratically. I must defeat Tenebris. I must push my magic into Verglas. Any later, and the entire country will be in bloom.
Farrin, standing at her side, leaned over and rested his head against hers. “You’re not alone. We will claim victory and freedom for Verglas.”
Rakel gave him a trembling smile and kissed his cheek. She had to bite her tongue to keep from saying what her heart screamed. I love you. I don’t want to leave you, and I am so sorry.
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General Halvor—riding a horse now that the snow had melted—shifted in the saddle, making the leather creak. “Is anyone unclear on any part of our strategy?”
Phile—standing on Rakel’s other side—shook her head and fed her horse a few blades of grass. “You pounded it in our heads so well, I wouldn’t be surprised if some of us dreamt about it last night, General.” She softened her words with a wink and exchanged knowing gazes with Rakel.
The Verglas plan was quite complex—it had to be wide-spread and encompassing in order to counter the imbalance of magic users between the Verglas troops and the Chosen forces.
Oskar led the resistance fighters, all of whom were outfitted with bows for long-distance combat. Rakel’s throat ached, knowing that she had already spoken to her bright-haired attendant for the last time, but to avoid raising suspicions, she didn’t protest his post.
General Halvor would lead the Verglas army—who would engage both magic enemies and the small army of soldiers Tenebris had left.
Farrin would guard Rakel—who would face off with Tenebris—and a team of five led the magic users. Phile would guard Liv and, according to Halvor’s plan, when Rakel lured Tenebris to the frontlines, she would signal Phile, who—with Frodi’s help—would set off a signal of their own to call Farrin back to pick up Liv and take her to the frontlines with Rakel and Tenebris, giving Rakel a final edge.
In reality, when Rakel was ready, she would signal to Phile with a giant snowflake in the sky, who would falsely signal in return. When Farrin fell back, Rakel would wall him and the rest of the Verglas troops out, and she would finish Tenebris and his army.
If she could.
Even if I expel everything, there’s no certainty that my magic really will seal off Verglas from dark magic. And there’s no certainty I’ll be able to defeat Tenebris.
“You’ll win it, Little Wolf.” Phile clasped her shoulder.
Rakel gave her a weak smile in return. “Thank you,” she said. She had already given the Robber Maiden letters to explain all she had done the night prior. That was the last they had spoken of their private plan. “For everything.”