A Simple Prayer

by Amy Clipston

“Oh, you live by Saul Beiler,” Aaron said while looking in the rearview mirror at Madeleine.

  “That’s right. My grandparents owned all that land years ago and sold most of it to Saul. I moved into their house, which is at the front of the property.”

  While Aaron drove to Madeleine’s house, she explained that her grandparents were Amish and she inherited their house when they died. She also shared how excited she was to join the baptism class in the spring and be baptized in the fall.

  “So your grandparents were Amish, but your mother left the community?” Aaron asked with interest.

  “Yes, that’s right,” Madeleine said. “I was looking for a place to make a new start, and I felt like God led me here. I always enjoyed visiting my grandparents when I was a child, so it made sense to come back here again.”

  “That’s interesting,” Aaron said slowly, as if he were contemplating her words. “God sure knows what we need before we do, doesn’t he?”

  “Oh, yes,” Madeleine said. “I agree. I just felt something special when I came back, you know?”

  As Madeleine continued to discuss her love for the community, Linda was thankful Madeleine was talkative. She found herself wondering what she would say to Aaron once they were alone, even though she had been looking forward to being alone with him. Suddenly, Linda began doubting her ability to hold a conversation with him. All her insecurities rained down on her, and she felt inadequate sitting next to Aaron in his fancy truck while he talked easily to Madeleine. Perhaps, she thought, she should’ve asked if Aaron could take her home first so she could avoid any awkward silence when they were alone.

  Aaron steered the truck into Madeleine’s driveway and stopped.

  “Thank you for the ride,” she said as she pushed open her door. “It was nice meeting you, Aaron.”

  “Thank you for helping my parents,” Aaron said.

  “You’re welcome. Your mamm is a dear friend to me,” Madeleine said.

  “I’ll see you at work,” Linda said.

  “Okay. Good-bye!” Madeleine waved before turning for her back porch.

  “Madeleine has had an interesting life,” Aaron said as he backed the truck out of her driveway.

  “Ya, she has,” Linda agreed as she smoothed her hands over her coat again.

  “She went from serving in the military to wanting to be Amish,” he said. “That’s a real change.”

  “Ya, it is.” Linda kept her eyes focused on the road ahead of them, but she was aware of Aaron’s glances toward her whenever he spoke. “She said she felt a connection to the community when she came here. She’s also very close to Saul and his dochder, Emma.”

  “That’s nice.” Aaron turned right onto the main road. “I know Saul has been through a lot.”

  “That’s true. I have a feeling he is going to ask Madeleine to marry him after she joins the church. They get along very well.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. I’m sure Saul is happy to find love after what happened with Annie.” Aaron drummed the steering wheel. “So how do I get to your place from here?”

  Linda gave him directions and then tried to think of something else to say. “The ramp you built is very nice. And you did a fantastic job repairing the back porch.”

  “Thanks.” He gave her another sideways glance. “I’m really having a good time with Manny. He’s a real character. We’ve had some good talks about life.”

  “That’s wunderbaar.” She turned toward him and smiled. “I’m so froh to hear that. I told you your family would be thrilled to get to know you.”

  He nodded. “You were right. It’s been a lot of fun.”

  “I heard you’re going to put a ramp at the back of the haus too,” she said. “Are you planning to do more projects for Ruth?”

  “I’m also going to work on the downstairs bathroom,” he explained as he turned onto another street. “I want to put up a couple of safety bars and install a walk-in shower. That way she’s less likely to slip in the bathroom. I was afraid mei dat would think it was too modern, but he agreed. I think he appreciates the work I’m doing. He sees that mei mamm’s safety is the most important issue, not how modern the changes are. He insisted the bishop would be fine with it since the work is for safety purposes. Dat says he’s just really grateful for my help.”

  “I’m certain he is,” Linda said. “Your mamm is so froh that you’re here. The first thing she said to me today was that you were back. She had tears in her eyes.”

  “Danki,” he said quietly.

  “Gern gschehne,” Linda said. “You’re a blessing to your family.” She felt her cheeks burn as she voiced the compliment, but she couldn’t stop it from jumping from her lips. She realized that even though she’d been worried about talking to him, the conversation was flowing between them like a babbling brook.

  He looked over at her, and his eyes sparkled with warmth and affection. “That means a lot.”

  She nodded and turned toward the passenger window. Her body prickled with insecurity. Why couldn’t she be comfortable in her own skin?

  “I went to see the bishop just as you suggested.” He steered the truck onto the road leading to her cousin’s farm.

  “You did?” She faced him, forgetting her self-doubt. “What happened?”

  “It went really well. I apologized, and he told me I didn’t need to apologize because I’d already been forgiven.” He kept his eyes trained on the road but slowed when they reached the driveway leading to the larger house. “We had a really nice conversation, and I even stayed for supper.”

  “That’s fantastic!” Linda clapped her hands together. “I’m so froh for you. I told you it would go well. Does it make you feel better knowing that Elmer never resented you?”

  He nodded. “Ya, it does. I actually felt a weight lift off my shoulders right away. You were right, Linda. You’ve been right about a lot of things.”

  She quickly let him know that she and her onkel lived in the smaller house in back, and Aaron brought the truck to a stop there. Then he turned in his seat and faced her. The intensity in his eyes caused her pulse to accelerate and beat erratically. She’d never felt such an attraction to anyone before, and it both excited and terrified her all at once. Was she ready for this? Was she prepared to give her heart away to this man?

  He wasn’t even Amish!

  “I was thinking about you the other day while I was working on the ramp,” he said. “I realized that, though we grew up together, I never got to know you. Why didn’t I ever see you at singings when we were young?”

  Linda’s mouth dried and her hands trembled. She wasn’t sure how to handle this sudden and intense emotion she felt sparking between them. “I never went to singings.”

  He turned the ignition key, and the engine went dead, filling the truck with silence. She wondered if he could hear her heart thumping.

  “Why didn’t you go to singings?” he asked.

  She shrugged and looked out at the cottage. “I guess I never felt like I belonged there. I wasn’t like the other kinner.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I didn’t have parents or a family like the other kinner. I just kept to myself a lot, I guess.” She inspected the hem of her coat to avoid his kind eyes. “I’ve realized that, after I lost my parents, I retreated inwardly to protect myself from more heartache. My shyness was like a crutch and it kept me from being hurt again.”

  “I understand.”

  She looked up at him and was in awe of the gentleness in his expression. “You do?”

  “I guess I’ve done the same thing since I left the community,” he explained. “I’ve stayed by myself all these years. I haven’t really dated anyone in Missouri, and I haven’t even joined a church. I guess I subconsciously thought that if I stayed alone I wouldn’t get hurt. But at the same time, I’m hurting myself by staying alone. It’s a paradox.”

  “I’ve never dated anyone,” she said the words softly, embarrassed by the revelation.

  “Y
ou’ve never dated anyone?” His words were kind, not insulting.

  She shook her head.

  “I’m surprised,” he said, resting his elbow on the steering wheel.

  “Why are you surprised?”

  “You’re so kind and schee.”

  “You think I’m schee?” She had to be dreaming or she’d heard him wrong. No one had ever called her pretty before.

  “Of course I do.” Aaron looked startled. “Why wouldn’t I think that?”

  She was dumbfounded, unable to speak for a moment.

  “I thought you were married when I first met you.”

  “No, I’ve never . . .” She motioned toward the small house. “I just live with mei onkel.” She pointed toward the large farmhouse behind the truck. “I lived there with my parents until they died. My cousin got the haus after my parents were gone, and I moved into the daadi haus with mei onkel and aenti. I’m convinced this is God’s plan for me. I’m called to take care of mei onkel, and I’m satisfied with that.”

  “You say you’re satisfied, but are you really froh?” His eyes searched hers for the truth.

  She hesitated. “Ya,” she finally said.

  “No, you’re not. You hesitated before you responded.” His expression challenged her. “Tell me the truth, Linda. Do you dream of something more?”

  “I don’t know.” She picked at a piece of lint on her coat. “I suppose every maedel dreams of having a family, but I’m satisfied with my life. I have everything I need, so why would I even think of asking for more? I don’t want to be ungrateful and say that I want more.”

  Aaron shook his head and grimaced. “Don’t say that. God wants for you to be froh. Tell me the truth now—are you froh with your onkel?”

  She was astonished by his concern for her. “I suppose I am.”

  “You deserve happiness. You lost your parents, but you don’t have to be alone.”

  She swallowed as a lump appeared in her throat. “And you’re worthy of your family, Aaron.”

  “Thank you.” He reached over and placed his hand on hers. “Danki for helping mei mamm today. It means a lot to me.”

  Aaron’s touch was warm and comforting, and the gesture touched her deep in her soul. Linda suddenly felt the urge to flee. She had to exit the truck before she lost her heart to this wonderful man.

  “I should go,” she said. “As I said, mei onkel isn’t patient when it comes to his supper. Gut nacht.”

  Aaron hesitated, as if he wanted to say more. But he only said, “I’ll see you at the bed-and-breakfast.”

  “Danki for the ride.” She hopped out of the truck, shut the door, and hurried up the porch steps. She turned and watched him back out of the driveway, wondering what had just happened. Something deep and meaningful had passed between them. What did it mean?

  Am I in love with Aaron Ebersol?

  She gasped at the question. What did she know about love? And how could she develop feelings for this man who wasn’t even a member of her community? This was certainly a sin! She could be shunned if anyone found out what she was feeling. She had to find a way to guard her heart before it was too late.

  Aaron waved and the horn beeped as the truck rumbled down the street.

  Onkel Reuben opened the front door. “Linda? Where have you been? I’m starving. Are you going to make supper?”

  “Ya, ya.” She stepped into the house and hung up her coat. “I’ll start it right now.”

  As she moved into the kitchen, her shoulders hunched and her left leg favored her right one, giving her the familiar slight limp. Aaron’s words echoed through her mind. He thought she was pretty and he believed she deserved a family of her own. Was he right? Did she deserve those things? The questions swirled through her mind as she pulled out a pot and filled it with water for noodles.

  She wasn’t sure if she believed she deserved them, but she did know one thing for certain—she liked how Aaron made her feel when they were together. She felt attractive and valuable as a person when he was around. But she couldn’t figure out why he had that effect on her. What did it mean?

  She didn’t know what it meant, but she felt something change inside her. For the first time in her life, she began to wonder if she was worthy of love. And the thought made her smile.

  Aaron grinned as he parked his truck in his parents’ driveway. He was consumed with thoughts of Linda. And he was happy, truly happy, for the first time in a long time. He was not only thrilled with the strides he was making reconnecting with his family, but he was also enjoying getting to know Linda. He wondered why she was so stunned when he told her he had assumed she was married when he’d first seen her.

  Did she truly believe she wasn’t attractive or deserving of a family? He was stuck on this detail. The Amish women he’d known were never prideful, but Linda seemed to be unusually humble, well beyond mere shyness, almost self-effacing. Why was she so meek? He longed to know her better and find out what had broken down her spirit and self-worth.

  And he still wondered about her uncle being upset with her if she was late with his supper. Linda said it was her calling to care for him, but she was, after all, a grown woman.

  He climbed from the truck and found his father on the back porch.

  “Aaron,” Dat said. “I was hoping Manny was correct that you planned to come back. Join us for supper. I think they’ve started without us. I told Manny to tell them I was held up with one of the cows.”

  “Thank you,” Aaron said as he climbed up the porch steps. He glanced around their workspace and saw that it was clean. “I was going to help Manny clean up the mess, but I see he took care of it.”

  “I helped him clean it up.” Dat patted Aaron’s shoulder. “You and Manny did a great job on the porch. Danki for fixing it. I’d wanted to do that for years but never seemed to have the time.”

  “I’m happy to help.”

  In the house they found his mother and brother’s family already seated around the kitchen table. They hung up their coats on pegs in the mudroom and stepped into the kitchen.

  Manny greeted Aaron with a smile. “Daadi and I finished picking up outside, so you don’t need to worry about that. I told you I didn’t need your help.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate that.” Aaron turned to Becky. “And thank you, Becky, for supper.” She nodded in return, but with a frown. Aaron slipped into an empty seat next to Katie and bowed his head in silent prayer. He covered his plate with baked macaroni and cheese, tuna casserole, and a piece of bread before digging in.

  Conversations swirled around him. The women were discussing sewing projects and their plans for the next day. Aaron glanced across the table, and his brother glowered in response. Obviously, neither Solomon nor Becky had softened. Aaron’s stomach clenched as he remembered last week’s conversation with his brother. He wondered how he could possibly repair their broken relationship, and Linda’s positive words echoed through his mind. She had said he was a blessing to his family, and he had to believe that God would help him win his brother’s friendship again. He was so thankful for Linda and her support.

  “Aaron,” his father began from the far end of the table, “Manny was telling me more about your plans. As I said earlier, the work on the ramp and back porch turned out well. You both did a gut job. Of course, Junior and I helped a little, right, Junior?”

  “Right!” Junior said, as soon as he swallowed.

  “Danki.” Aaron buttered another piece of bread. “Manny has been a fantastic main helper.”

  “Helper?” Manny scowled. “I’m more than a helper.”

  Aaron grinned. “You’ll work your way up. Everyone has to start at the bottom.”

  Dat chuckled. “You know he’s only teasing you, Manny. I know Aaron appreciates your help.”

  “Of course I do. In fact, I appreciate you so much that I’ll let you help me stain the porch starting tomorrow.” Aaron bit into the bread as his father chuckled again. He glanced over at Solomon and found him frowning at his
plate.

  “Are we going to start on the bathroom after we finish the back porch?” Manny asked while scooping macaroni onto his spoon. “I can’t wait to start on that. I’ve never done that kind of work.”

  “Ya, that’s the plan.” Aaron turned to his father. “As long as that’s okay with your daadi.” He looked at Solomon. “And your dat, of course. I know he depends on your help around the farm.”

  Solomon kept his eyes trained on his plate.

  “It sounds gut to me.” Dat looked at Solomon. “How about you, Solomon?”

  Solomon responded with a curt nod. “As long as your other work gets done too.”

  Aaron scowled. He looked over at Becky, who apparently had been listening. She was frowning as well and slightly shaking her head. He wondered if she had witnessed Solomon’s reaction to him. She seemed to share Solomon’s aversion toward him. How could he prove to them that his feelings for the family were genuine?

  “Have you worked on a lot of bathrooms?” Manny asked between bites of tuna casserole. “I’ve always wanted to learn more about plumbing.”

  “Yes, I have.” Aaron helped himself to another piece of bread from the loaf. “I once worked on a home that had six bathrooms.”

  “Six?” Katie gasped from the chair beside him. “Why would anyone have six bathrooms?”

  “That’s gegisch,” Junior chimed in. “It sounds so wasteful.”

  “It would be nice, wouldn’t it?” Ruthie Joy asked. “We would all have our own bathroom, and no one would ever have to wait.”

  “Unless you had company over,” Katie countered. “Then you’d have to share a bathroom.”

  “But it would be nice to have six bathrooms when we had church at our haus. The line to wait would be much shorter,” Dat said.

  Everyone laughed, except for Solomon. He lifted his glass and sipped his water while keeping his eyes focused on his mostly uneaten food. Aaron tried to ignore the hurt that coursed through him when his brother wouldn’t even look at him. Aaron hated feeling invisible in his brother’s presence.

  “Tell us more about that haus, Onkel Aaron,” Katie said. “If it had six bathrooms, then how many bedrooms did it have?”