Chaos and Control

by Season Vining

  Love in the way she trusts me

  Love in the way she sees me

  Love in the way she needs me

  This four-letter word that has

  Evaded poets for centuries

  And made teenagers sick

  Has grown roots in my heart

  And wings on my back

  I am not anxiety or fear

  Or any other affliction

  In love, I am only Preston

  - Preston

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Room on Fire

  I make it to the store early. Bennie sits in her usual place while Preston moves some shelves around to make room for more furniture.

  “Good morning,” I sing, before hopping onto the front counter.

  “Well, I see whatever made Preston so chipper must be contagious.”

  Bennie chuckles when I give her an innocent shrug. “Preston is chipper?”

  “He’s shittin’ rainbows, kid,” she says, chuckling.

  “Hmm.”

  I watch him work, and every movement, every sight of those hands makes me relive the memories of last night. I feel a blush consume my body and start to fan my face when I notice Bennie staring. She shakes her head and ducks behind her magazine.

  Preston sees me and crosses the store in a hurry. He stands in front of the counter, looking unsure of how to proceed. His eyes dance between Bennie and me, and it makes me want to kiss him even more.

  “Good morning,” he says.

  “It certainly is.”

  His arms flex as he crosses them over his chest. I place a chaste kiss on his worried lips. Preston relaxes and kisses me seven more times. It’s Thursday.

  “Thanks for showing me your nail gun last night,” I say.

  Preston’s eyes widen. “It was my pleasure. I have a plethora of tools at my disposal. I’d love to educate you on all of them.”

  “I’m not sure anything could beat the nail gun, Preston. It was pretty impressive. All that power and quick action? Seems like the best tool around.”

  I laugh and kiss him once more. He plants another seven on my lips.

  “Eight on Thursdays,” he says before returning to work.

  “His nail gun?” Bennie asks. “You guys are terrible at euphemisms.”

  “It’s not a euphemism. We used his nail gun last night.”

  She raises her eyebrows, one higher than the other. “I don’t even want to know.”

  We have a great day readying the store for the upcoming summer sale. It feels amazing to have Preston back in my life. Bennie supervises as we organize the older stock. Working side-by-side with Preston is invigorating. We have the distraction of moving shelves and furniture, but every once in a while, I catch him watching me. His eyes slide over me in a way that feels teasing and devilish.

  “Now that we’re speaking, does that mean I get my escort back for walks home from work?” I ask, piling a stack of records into a bin.

  “I always made sure you got home safe,” Preston answers.

  “You did? How?”

  “I was there. Just kept my distance.”

  “Very interesting, Preston-who-is-sneaky.”

  “Stop flirting and move those boxes,” Bennie shouts from behind the counter. She giggles at herself, which leads to a fit of coughing. Preston and I both watch to make sure she’s okay. After she swallows down some water, she gives us a thumbs-up and a roll of her eyes.

  “She’s a bossy shit, isn’t she?” I ask.

  “She’s just the boss.”

  “Wow. Where are all these people from?” I ask Bennie as she rings up another Vinyl customer. The Strokes play over the speakers, giving the store a great energy.

  “Preston printed up flyers and left them around town and in Franklin. He’s also in charge of the store’s social media, so word spread that way. I have a banner in front of the building pulling in locals who pass by. I don’t see how anyone could resist at least having a peek.”

  She hands the man his change and wishes him a great day.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many people in the store at once,” I marvel.

  “It’s great, isn’t it? Preston’s had to restock furniture pieces just since this morning. Thanks for helping out, Wren. I know you have to work tonight, so I appreciate it.”

  “No worries. It’s just another crazy Saturday in Crowley,” I reply, crossing my eyes and making a silly face at her.

  Preston passes by, carrying a large bookcase like it’s made of cardboard.

  “Watch out or your face will stick that way,” he says.

  I stick my tongue out at him and go back to helping customers.

  I’m in the middle of locating vintage Johnny Cash for someone when I feel a tap on my shoulder. “I’ll be with you in just a second,” I say, holding up one finger.

  I find the album I’m looking for and hold it out to the girl, who takes it with a shy smile.

  “Now what can I help you with?” I spin to find Sawyer, in uniform, his shoulders square, his face serious. My heart drops into my stomach. “What’s wrong?”

  “Can we talk somewhere?” he asks, looking around the crowded store.

  “Yeah, sure.”

  I take off toward the storage closet and Sawyer follows. When we are inside, I lean against a stack of crates and cross my arms.

  “Dylan was released yesterday,” he says, watching me closely for a reaction. I nod. “He has no registered vehicle, no credit cards. There’s no way to track this guy, Wren.”

  “I know.” My pulse thunders in my ears as I stare down at the floor. “So now what?”

  “Now,” Sawyer says, stepping to me and lifting my chin. “Now, we are more careful. Don’t go anywhere alone. Use common sense. At least until I find him. Do you think he’s coming to Crowley?”

  I shake my head. “I thought he was. But now, I honestly have no idea. The arrest could have deterred him. Maybe he’s coming here. Maybe he’s headed back to New York. I wish I knew.”

  “Stay safe until we know something. If this guy knows what’s good for him, he’ll carry his ass back up north.” Sawyer gives me a grin and flexes his biceps.

  I laugh and feel a little lighter. “Yes, once word gets out about those guns, he’ll be running for the hills.”

  A crackling voice comes over his radio, and he tilts his head to listen to the report.

  “Well, I gotta get back. Duty calls.”

  When Sawyer is gone, I take a few minutes to gather myself before heading back out into the store. It’s hard to stay focused on customers when I know that Dylan is a free man. Regardless, I push down my fear and focus on helping Bennie and Preston.

  Around four o’clock, the crowd has dissipated, and I head upstairs to start getting ready for work. I take my time in the shower, scrubbing at my skin and shaving everywhere. The water is still a little gray from the lavender dye Bennie help put in my hair yesterday. I towel off, slather on my lotion, and stand in front of my closet.

  Even after a long day in the store, I’m invigorated and feeling a little feisty. I decide on a jean skirt, a black tank with a crochet cutout in the back, and my trusty boots. I line my eyes in black, swipe on some mascara and lip gloss, and I’m ready to go.

  Bennie comes in around five. She looks completely exhausted as she enters my room and sits on the bed.

  “What a day, huh?” she says.

  “Yeah. I bet you’re exhausted.”

  “I am definitely looking forward to sleepy time.”

  I sit next to her and lace up my boots. “Good thing I’ve caught my second wind. Still have eight hours of work ahead of me.”

  “Enjoy it while you’re young, kid. Before you know it, you’ll be taking afternoon naps and getting winded after two flights of stairs.”

  “I doubt it’s that bad, old lady. Did you need anything before I go?”

  “I never thanked you for reconciling with Preston. I’m so glad you two are together again. It feels like all is
right in the world.”

  I smile at her. “He’s amazing.”

  “I’m happy you’re happy,” Bennie says.

  I throw my arms around her and plant a kiss on her cheek. “Good. Be happy. And get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  I head downstairs to the store and hang out with Preston as he locks up.

  “I need a shower. Maybe two,” he says.

  “Hmm. I like you dirty.”

  He flips the sign to read closed and gives me a look over his shoulder. “I bet you do.”

  “Any plans tonight?”

  “Nope. After my two showers, I was thinking of working in the shop.”

  “And then get dirty and sweaty again?”

  “Yeah. Showers galore.” He drops a kiss on my lips and one on my nose.

  “It’s Saturday and I only get two?”

  Preston shrugs like it’s no big deal and looks me over. “I like that shirt.”

  “Thanks.” I do a spin for him, and his hands grab my hips and pull me back against his chest. One hand holds me in place while the other trails up my side and around the curve of my breast.

  “I can’t wait to take it off of you,” he says in my ear, his voice raspy and thick.

  “I’ve created a monster.”

  “I can’t get enough of you, Wren. You’re my best medicine.”

  “Hmm. Maybe I should skip work tonight.” I don’t know if this is because of my fear of Dylan or my need for Preston. I raise my arm and grab the back of his neck, bringing his lips down to mine. That familiar fire races through my body, and I don’t care why I need him. I just know that I do. As usual, he slows down and pulls away after placing twelve kisses on my lips.

  Preston smacks me on the ass and pushes me toward the door. “Didn’t I see Sawyer drop by earlier?”

  “Yes. He let me know that Dylan was released from jail yesterday. So, we don’t know where he is now.”

  “Shit,” Preston says. His hand squeezes mine. “You’ll have to be more careful. I’ll give you a ride to work.”

  I nod. Preston pulls his keys from his pocket and motions toward the back door.

  The Haystack is already hopping when I get there. Coach welcomes me with an appreciative glance before throwing me my apron.

  “Good to see you, Wren. Sawyer’s asking for you.”

  I stash my bag behind the bar, tie my apron on, and saunter over to Sawyer, Angela, and the rest of his sheep.

  “Wren! There you are!” Sawyer’s eyes are glassy, and he’s wearing a permanent grin. It’s six o’clock, and he’s already buzzed. “We need you to settle a bet.”

  “Hey, Angela Louise,” I offer, swatting at her ponytail.

  “Just Angela, Wren.”

  “Where’s the fun in that?” I say before looking back to Sawyer. “What bet?”

  “Okay. Summer before senior year. Did I or did I not climb that huge oak tree and jump into Lake Loveless?”

  I throw back my head and laugh, picturing it so clearly. “Definitely yes.”

  “I told you!” Sawyer shouts, standing up and pointing to his friends. They all laugh.

  “We picked the lock and stole a bottle of whiskey from his dad’s liquor cabinet. We were so drunk. I’m not sure who had the idea, but next thing I knew, Sawyer was naked in the tree.”

  “Naked?” Angela asks. She chuckles and looks up at me. “Talk slowly, I’m trying to picture this.”

  “I don’t remember being naked,” he says, sinking back into his chair.

  “Anyway, he climbed up to the highest branch he could reach and jumped in. However, he failed to realize that when you’re at the top of a tree, there are lots of branches below you.”

  “Stupid whiskey,” Sawyer mumbles.

  “It looked like a pinball machine as he bounced off limbs all the way down before splashing into the water.” The whole group is laughing now while Sawyer frowns into his drink. “Got a black eye and two shots to the nuts.”

  “That’s what that black eye was from? You told me you got into a fight with some Franklin kid!” the tall blond guy says.

  “Fight? Sawyer doesn’t fight. You guys know he can smooth talk his way out of any situation,” I point out.

  “This is true,” Angela agrees.

  “Aww. Not you, too?” he says to Angela. He gives her a sweet kiss on the cheek and his perfect smile.

  “Do you guys need any drinks? I’ve got to get to work.”

  “No,” Sawyer says, pouting. “You can go now.”

  I leave them to check on the rest of the tables. The crowd keeps me busy, and before I know it, it’s midnight. Sawyer and his friends get up and head toward the door.

  “Yeah! Let’s go!” the tall guy yells while the girls cheer him on.

  “What’s up?” I ask Angela, giving her a hug good-bye.

  “Apparently we’re headed to Lake Loveless to try a little tree jumping.”

  I let out a loud guffaw and rest my hand on my stomach. “And that is the law enforcement protecting our town? Good luck with that.”

  The group moves past me and trickles out the door as Sawyer leans in. I can tell he’s sobered up considerably. The smell of his cologne is familiar, but it doesn’t stir anything in me like it used to.

  “Thanks for clearing that up for us, Wren. You were a real big help.” He tries to glare at me, but it’s weak.

  “Glad to do it.”

  “And thanks again for Angela. She’s pretty cool.” His grin disappears. “Everything okay?”

  I nod, and his smile returns. He knocks me a little kiss on the cheek before Angela pulls him out the door. I smile after them, wondering how much trouble they’ll get into tonight.

  “That seems like a recipe for disaster.”

  I turn to find Preston parked at the end of the bar, freshly showered. My eyes follow the hug of his T-shirt over taut muscles down to my favorite jeans with the hole in the knee. He looks uncomfortable and stiff, but he’s smiling at me.

  “What are you doing here?” I stand between his legs and lean in for my kisses. They are too quick and tight-lipped.

  “Can’t I visit my girlfriend at work?” His hands ghost down my back before resting on my hips. Preston’s pinkies play with the hem of my skirt.

  “Your girlfriend? Hmm. I like that. Of course you can visit me. I’m happy you’re here. I just never thought you’d step foot inside this place.”

  “Me, either. It seems you can be quite the motivational tool, Miss Hart.”

  “I like being your motivational tool. But I’ve got to get back to work. Two hours left.”

  Preston gives me two more kisses. These are softer, lingering a bit. They have their desired effect. I slide behind the bar and wash a pint glass, rinse it thoroughly, and dry it out with a clean towel. I pour Preston a Blue Moon and place it in front of him. I’m thanked with a slight nod and his knowing smirk.

  By the time Coach and I are closing up, Preston’s had two more beers. While I worked, he wrote in his moleskin notebook. Every so often he would catch my eye across the room, and with one glance, send my pulse racing. The effect this man has on me is something so new. It’s like experiencing true love for the first time. Not a crush, or infatuation. It’s something more deep-rooted than I’ve ever known. It’s something that gives me wings and anchors me at the same time.

  The place is empty now. As I wipe down the last of the tables and flip the chairs on top, Preston stands and gestures that he’s going to the bathroom. Coach slides me my half of the tips, and I shove the money into my bag.

  “Tips are good,” Coach says. “Busy night.”

  “I’m glad it’s over. I’m so exhausted I could sleep on this floor right now.”

  Preston reappears. “Uh, no you couldn’t. That’s disgusting, just like the bathroom. I’ll wait until we get home.”

  Coach laughs and waves us off. “Good night. See ya next week.”

  As soon as we’re outside, Preston takes my hand. I smile up at
him and stifle a yawn.

  “You really are tired,” he says. We start down the street, and all I can think about is falling into my bed and sleeping for twelve hours.

  “I am. I don’t know how you’re still going strong, especially with all that heavy lifting you were doing today. Jeez.”

  “I work out every day. I’ve got stamina like you wouldn’t believe.”

  My mouth drops open, and my feet stop moving. “I’d love to test that out one day.” Preston gives me a smirk, and I yawn again, covering my gaping mouth. “But not tonight.”

  He pulls me along, and we continue our walk toward home. His fingers, weaved between mine, make me feel so safe and wanted. In the mess that is my life right now, his touch soothes me in a way that I imagine I soothe him. Bennie is right. We are good for each other, each of us equal parts calm and chaos.

  Lightning slices through the dark sky, and a clap of thunder booms above us.

  “I love storms. I miss them.”

  Preston glances toward the dark sky. “You didn’t encounter storms traveling?”

  “Of course I did. But they were different. These Midwest summer storms are a different beast.” I inhale, pulling the night air into my lungs. “They have a certain smell. Reminds me of being curled into Bennie’s side on my parents’ front-porch swing. She used to love to watch the rain roll in.”

  Preston squeezes my hand when he sees my sad smile. Another bolt of lightning flashes, and thunder follows.

  “We better hurry,” he says.

  In front of Preston’s door, I run my hands up his chest and rest them on his strong shoulders. The soft material of his T-shirt does nothing to dispel the heat of his body beneath my fingertips.

  “Stay with me,” he says.

  “You mean, in your apartment? In your bed? Until morning?” I tease.

  “It is morning.”

  “You’re right.” I stretch my hands over my head and yawn again. “Okay. Let me grab my toothbrush and some clothes so I can work out with you in the morning.”

  “Really?” he asks. “I’d like that.” Preston gives me a wide grin and smacks me on the ass as I head toward Bennie’s apartment.

  I hurry into my room and search the dresser for some sleep clothes. I grab a tank and some boy shorts before darting to the bathroom for my toothbrush. I run my fingers over the bristles and grin at the idea of keeping a toothbrush at Preston’s apartment. Would he be okay with that, or is it too soon? While I don’t want to cause him anxiety, I love pushing him out of his comfort zone.