Fatal

by S. T. Hill

  "Hey, look, it's Stephie!" said a voice behind me.

  I'd been so busy anticipating getting back to my room that I hadn't heard the footsteps closing in on me. But there they were. From the sound of it, there were at least two.

  And I recognized that voice, too. It was Fratboy Eric.

  My feet carried me more quickly, and I didn't look back. If I ignored them, they might just shout a few choice words at me and head off to find easier prey.

  "Aww, Stephie, come back! We need your help!"

  The fear was hot this time, shooting out from my heart. I started running.

  The guys, like wild predators acting on instinct, gave chase.

  My skirt let me run freely, but they were faster. Strong fingers grabbed my arm and wrenched back so hard that the sharp pain in my shoulder took my breath away.

  I stumbled, falling backwards. But they caught me, held me up.

  "Why'd you run away? Didn't you hear Eric say we needed your help?" Joseph said.

  He'd become more and more Eric's toady as the semester went on. He even looked the part, being shorter and stouter, with a peasant's flat, unremarkable face and a brow ridge that would do a Neanderthal proud.

  I looked up at my dorm, only fifty feet away. The front entrance, with its nice, secured plate-glass doors, was so close. The light spilling out from the lobby nearly touched my feet.

  "Guys, I really have to go study..." I said, my heart trying to bash its way out through my ribs.

  I'd tried running. Now it was time for a different approach. Let them have their fun. I could take whatever they had to say.

  Eric pursed his lips and ran his fingers through his hair. They both still wore their letterman jackets, and the big gold R on each of their chests glinted a little in the weak light coming from my building.

  "I don't think you'll want to study. Or be able to for that matter. You got the list, Joe?" Eric said. He pulled me towards him, his fingers digging deeper into my arm. My fingers were starting to go numb, he gripped me so tightly.

  "Yeah, right here," Joe said, pulling out a folded and rumpled piece of paper. He thumbed it open, "Just this and we can go turn it in."

  "What... what's going on?" I said.

  Should I scream? It felt like I should be screaming bloody murder, trying to catch the attention of one of those shadows moving behind the curtains in the dormitory.

  "Well, we got a little scavenger hunt going. First team that hands in the completed list gets to keep rushing," Eric said, "Good thing you were out. I was thinking we'd have to break into one of the fresher dorms to find a nice first year co-ed."

  The fear turned from hot to cold, working its chilly fingers into my flesh. My body went rigid in some protective instinct.

  "Eric, she's gonna..." Joe started.

  I opened my mouth to scream, but Eric clapped a hand over it so all that escaped was a little squeal that didn't travel more than five feet.

  "You hold her shoulders. When I'm done, you can finish her off," Eric said.

  They started trying to force me onto the grass beside the walk.

  My subconscious grasped what was happening before the rest of me did. It seized control. I struggled, lashing out with my arms and legs, trying to dig my nails into anything soft. I bit at Eric's hand, but then he just held my mouth shut.

  Another spurt of wild energy shot through my as I felt my back press against the soft dirt. I landed a solid kick in Joseph's stomach. He swore, slamming my leg down.

  No, no, no, no, I kept thinking. This couldn't be happening. Joe's hand started sliding up the side of my leg, under my skirt. I arched my back high in the air, my entire body rigid with the effort to free myself.

  But they were just too strong.

  The branches of the trees swayed above me, their bony fingers clattering in anticipation of the show below. The cold white dots of the stars above blinked uncaringly as Joseph managed to snag the waistband of my panties with his thumb.

  "Shh, it'll all be over soon. At least when Joe gets to you. He's still a virgin, you know..." Eric said.

  I squeezed my eyes shut, my hands clenching into fists and my legs still struggling against Joseph's strength.

  I tried to think of my mother, of the day we'd spent at the beach watching the tide slowly swallow up more and more of the sand.

  "Her skin's so soft," Joseph said, still trying to work my panties down.

  "Whatever, you faggot, hurry up. It's too damn quiet out here," Eric said.

  I crossed my legs, squeezing my thighs together as hard as I could. Hot tears started streaming out of my eyes, boiling down my cheeks and wetting my hair.

  Joseph's fingernails scratched me, the sharp pain driving me into another round of struggles.

  "If you don't stop it, I'll knock you the fuck out," Eric said.

  He held my shoulders, holding me down awkwardly with one hand over my mouth. To emphasize his point, he used his elbow to hit the side of my head.

  "You sure they can't see us?" Joseph said.

  "They can't, dumbass. You forget how to use your fingers or something? Hurry up!"

  "I'm trying, but she's got her legs together so tight."

  "All right, since you're obviously too stupid, we're switching places. Ready?" Eric said.

  Joseph started to say something, untangling his fingers from the waistband of my panties.

  Whatever it was, it ended with a startled squawk that turned into a cry of pain.

  "The fuck you doing?" Eric said.

  His hands left me. I opened my eyes in time to see someone jump over me, leather jacket flapping in the wind, as they tackled Eric to the ground.

  "I'll bust you up, I'll break your damn... ungh!" Eric said. There was a grinding noise followed by a pop.

  I didn't care about all that. I didn't care about Joseph lying awkwardly on his back by my feet, blood pumping from his shattered nose.

  I just needed to get away, into the light of my damn. I crawled, grabbing handfuls of grass to pull myself along as the sounds of struggle continued behind me.

  Finally, I managed to pull myself to my feet. I almost tripped every other step as I dashed towards the light.

  "Hey! Wait! Are you all right?"

  I saw the leather jacket from the corner of my eye as whoever it was caught up to me.

  "Go away! Leave me alone!" I said.

  "Don't worry, I took care of them," he said.

  We reached the doors to my dorm at the same time. My lungs burned, and my heart pounded so hard that I could taste blood at the back of my throat. Grabbing the metal handle, I wrenched at the door. It didn't budge.

  "You're gonna need your key," he said.

  I nodded, still not looking at him. Inside, I could see the bank of mail boxes, the empty reception desk, the hall that led to the stairs.

  I grabbed my key out of my pocket, but I couldn't get it into the lock. My hands shook too much. The bit of metal scratched the brown paint around the circular lock, leaving jagged silver lines behind.

  "You're the girl from the party, right?" he said.

  He grabbed the key between them and forefinger and guided it into the lock. He had long fingers. Two of his knuckles were bruised.

  I looked at him finally. Yeah, it was the guy. A bit of stubble on his cheeks made him look a little older. He smiled at me, his green eyes searching my face. I didn't think it was possible to feel the way I did so shortly after... that almost happened. But my heart did a little dance when he smiled at me.

  "I'm Stephanie," I said.

  "Adam," he replied. He twisted the key in the lock and pulled the door open, "And I'll see you in class tomorrow for the midterm, right?"

  I sniffled a little and wiped at my cheeks. I had to look horrible! How could he smile at me when I looked the way he did.

  He pulled my key from the lock and handed it back to me. I put one foot inside, but then hesitated.

  "Thanks," I said.

  He just nodded, "Yeah, good thing I
was on my way to the library."

  It was only when I got up to my room, turned on the light, and closed and locked the door behind me that I really thought about what he said. I leaned against the door and slid down it until I was sitting. I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them. My thigh still hurt where Joseph scratched me, and I thought I had to be bleeding.

  The soccer field was on the other side of the campus from the library. It could have been that he was on the way from his dorm to it, but the buildings here were girl only.

  Had he been following me?

  Chapter 14

  The amphitheater-shaped lecture hall flooded with students. I wanted to stay near the double entrance doors, but that tide swept me up the stairs and into a seat near the middle of the third row.

  There had to be almost a hundred and fifty people in that room by the time the flow of students slowed to a trickle.

  A set of windows running along the back wall, butting against the ceiling, filled the lecture hall with natural light. Large ducts, painted a dull mud brown, blew cool air down on us to fight away all that extra body heat.

  All I brought were two pens. No messenger bag today. I'd have to leave it at the front of the room, and I didn't really trust myself to not forget it, or for some classmate of mine picking it up as they slumped from the room in an academic daze.

  People standing near the front flipped through pages of notes, some neatly typed, others handwritten. Cramming just moments before, hoping to spew all that knowledge out onto the paper and then forget it again until finals rolled around.

  I plugged my ears, not wanting to hear people shout dates and names at each other.

  It was always bad luck to study right before a test, I found. You never remembered anything.

  Then again, I hadn't gotten much sleep last night. And it wasn't from studying. No. Every time I laid on my little single bed and closed my eyes, I saw Eric and Joseph's faces laughing down at me. I shifted in my seat, wincing at the pain in my thigh were Joseph scratched me.

  So, after a few hours of attempted sleep, I stayed up until about four in the morning, running my stinging eyes over my lecture notes and snippets of chapters from books.

  Even now, closing my eyes, I could feel the grass against the small of my back where my shirt rode up as they pushed me down.

  My first instinct that morning on waking had been to call mom, but she hadn't sounded so well during our last call. Some new round of treatments, apparently.

  I couldn't disturb her with my schoolyard troubles. I knew it was wrong to think like that, but I just couldn't stop.

  Just like I'd been powerless to stop those two frat assholes.

  Adam walked into the room, then, followed by Dr. Hackett, the Gandalf look-alike with a long, flowing white beard and pair of circular spectacles. Dr. Hackett closed the doors behind him, amplifying the conversations a little more.

  Adam wore pretty much the same thing as the prior night: his leather jacket, a pair of blue jeans ripped on one knee, and a white t-shirt with a v-neck.

  I lifted my hand, trying to get Adam's attention as he scanned the rows of mostly-filled seats. There was an empty chair beside me. He'd saved me last night from those savages, perhaps he could save me today from my own frayed nerves and fright.

  My pulse quickened as his eyes got closer. I wanted to hiss an "Adam!" out to him, but Dr. Hackett was already raising his hands to call for quiet.

  Adam's eyes passed over me, not pausing at all. He started up the stairs just as Dr. Hackett cleared his throat.

  "So nice to see so many unfamiliar faces here. Remember, just showing up for tests won't be enough to pass the course. Please, everyone place any bags or loose paper at the front. You can retrieve it when you finish. Cell phones off. Any ringing, and your phone is mine until you come to my office hour to retrieve it. When I give the word, you may flip over the test sheet, open your work booklet, and begin. Good luck," Dr. Hackett said with the raspy voice of a lifelong chain smoker.

  The conversations had died down to a last few rebellious whispers. I could hear the low drone of the condensers as they pushed cold air through the ducts. But mostly what I concentrated on was the thud of Adam's footsteps as he walked past my row.

  Turning my head as much as I dared, I watched him go up to the very back row, taking a seat right at the end of the aisle.

  What was wrong? He'd seemed so nice last night. Now, it was like it had never happened.

  Was he embarrassed or something? I was the one who almost got raped!

  I shuddered at the thought, rubbing at my eyes.

  "You may begin. I must remind you that you must stay for a minimum of one hour before you can hand in your test sheet and booklet."

  Real life was so confusing. Boys were confusing. I flipped over the test page as I popped the lid of one of my pens and jammed it down on the back so I wouldn't lose it.

  History, now that was clear. A line of identifiable actions and reactions that led to certain events. A line you could draw through the names of people, places, battles.

  I bit down lightly on the tip of my tongue, hunching over the booklet and scribbling down all I knew Paul Revere's involvement in the Revolution, pleased at my ability to recall all that information.

  The certainty of it all felt so good. I concentrated on every word, studying the questions and giving the best possible answers and explanations.

  For that time, I could forget my own problems, my own history and the future it pointed towards, and just write.

  When Dr. Hackett cleared his throat, I'd entered a trance-like state. I jumped at the noise, looking around at the room, not recognizing any faces, or even really knowing where I was for a few seconds.

  "It has now been one hour. Those of you who are finished may hand in your test materials, collect your belongings, and enjoy the remainder of your day."

  Chairs squeaked, desks groaned and backs cracked as people who were done got up to go.

  I looked down at my test sheet. There were still two points I had to address in my essay before I could write the conclusion.

  Leaning forward, I got back to work. Some ink had rubbed off against my pinky finger in my hurry to get everything down, but that didn't matter.

  Something seen out of the corner of my eye made me glance over.

  It was Adam. He looked at me as he made his way down the stairs, test materials in hands. The little metal draw on his jacket zipper clicked every time he took another step.

  When he saw me looking, he turned away.

  What was he doing? He must have seen me trying to get his attention earlier. He knew I wanted to talk to him.

  Had he done this deliberately? Finished his test so that he could leave right away?

  I looked down at my booklet. Damn it; I couldn't hand it in like this. Not if I wanted to maintain my scholarship.

  I bit down on the tip of my tongue until it hurt. Adam handed his papers over to Dr. Hackett and left the room, joining the flow of all the other early finishers. The campus wasn't that big, but there were so many places you could go. I didn't even know what dorm he was in, or if he was in a dorm at all.

  My heart beat so hard I could feel my pulse in my toes. It roared past my ears as I leaned back to do the fastest writing I'd ever done. I had to keep concentrated and not glance at the clock, knowing every second took him farther away, made it more difficult to find him.

  By the time I scratched the words "In conclusion," onto the final sheet of my workbook, my hands shook. My letters came out more chicken scratch than words, and I hoped to God that Dr. Hackett or his TAs could read it.

  "Yes..." I said triumphantly as I finished, earning me dirty looks from the blonde girl two seats down from me.

  I practically rushed down the stairs, shoving my pens into my pocket.

  "Have a nice..." Dr. Hackett started to say as I shoved my papers at him.

  "You too," I said, wrenching one of the doors open and slipping through into the ha
ll beyond.

  Chapter 15

  The hall was empty. I let the door handle slip from my hand. The click it made when it shut was the loudest thing there. It was between classes. The hall was long and broad, smaller rooms lining either side all with their doors shut.

  Swallowing against the lump in my throat, I started forward at a quick walk.

  Where was he? The lecture hall was on the second floor of the Liberal Arts building. It had another name, bought by some old rich family I couldn't remember. I didn't care, either.

  My footsteps echoed back to me, making it sound like there were a dozen Stephanie Hursts looking for Adam. The scratch on my thigh burned under the denim of my jeans, but I ignored it.

  Why was it so important that I find him? I couldn't answer that question. All I knew was that it consumed me at that moment. I could think of nothing but finding Adam and making him sit still long enough to talk with me.

  I shoved open the white-painted door marked "STAIRWELL 2" in stenciled letters. The echo of my footsteps boomed in my ears like a chattering machine gun as I quickly descended.

  Where the hell was he? Why was he avoiding me? What is wrong with me? I kept thinking.

  Shoving open the door at the bottom of the stairs, I emerged into the sunlight. It drenched me with its warmth moments before the cool breeze sent a shiver down my back. I was on the sidewalk, looking across one of the lanes that snaked its way across the campus to allow cars through.

  The leafless trees shuddered and waved in the wind, their clacking branches again making me think of dried old finger bones clattering together.

  "Hey!"

  A hand falling my shoulder nearly made me shriek, my mind flashing back to the previous night. I held the noise in my throat, opting instead for a brief jerk at the unexpected touch. But I knew that voice.

  "How'd the test go?" Jenn asked.

  I spun to face her. Today her hair was long and straight, and she'd applied some black lipstick to her lips. She also wore a leather jacket, and a small black knapsack hung from one shoulder.