Making Waves

by Cassandra King

  It all started with my hair. Daddy has always said that the Bible says a woman’s hair is her crowning glory, and it should never be cut. Mama can sit on hers. Mine has always been fine and stringy and broke off at the ends. But it was never cut; instead I wore braids or a bun as I got older. The kids in school used to make fun of me looking so old-timey, but I couldn’t bring myself to go against my raising.

  When I went off to business college in Columbus, I realized that I looked like a hick. The next thing I did was to go to Donnette Sullivan’s trailer and get her to cut my hair. I knew her, not real well, but like everyone in town, I knew their situation with Tim’s accident. So I wanted to give her my business. At first I couldn’t bring myself to get it cut enough for Daddy to notice. I had it cut just to my shoulders, and I still wore it pinned up. Donnette showed me how to make a French twist and Daddy never even noticed. After that, I got my nerve to go to Kmart’s and get me some more stylish clothes. A couple of the young men at the business school began to notice me and asked me out occasionally.

  To this day, I don’t know exactly what it was that made me confide in Donnette. All I know is, I went to get my hair trimmed; there was no one in her shop but me and her, and the time just seemed right. It was late spring, already hot so the window unit was going, which made it cozy with just me and Donnette talking.

  Although it was a beautiful sunny day, and things were looking up for me, I was still down in the mouth and unhappy with my life. So for some unknown reason, I just up and told Donnette that.

  “Then change it. If you don’t like your life, change it,” Donnette said to me, not missing a beat as she snipped away on my hair.

  “If only I could!” I’d replied, sorry that I said anything. I’d been taught that self-pity was a sin.

  “If you can’t change your life, then who can?” Donnette kept right on cutting away without looking at me.

  “Oh, Donnette. You just don’t know. I’m an old maid. I ain’t never had anything exciting happen to me in my whole life, lest you count when the preacher slipped down in the creek at my baptism.”

  We both giggled. I didn’t tell Donnette I’d never had any girlfriends to giggle with before. Daddy wouldn’t have put up with such.

  “Come on, Ellis,” Donnette said to me. “You can do anything you want in life if you set yourself some goals.”

  “That sounds good, Donnette. But I guess I don’t really believe it. I’d have to have some kind of evidence.”

  She laughed at me then. “Okay. I can provide that. You’re looking at your evidence.”

  “What on earth do you mean?” She had my curiosity roused now.

  “Well, I’ll tell you something, if you promise not to tell. A few years ago, I set myself some goals and decided nothing on earth could keep me from getting what I wanted. And nothing has.”

  This time she did stop and look right at me.

  “What was it that you wanted?” I asked.

  “Tim Sullivan.” She let that sink in a minute. “Need I say more?”

  When I considered all they’d been through, I was sold. Donnette didn’t say anything else about that then. Instead she asked me some business-type questions about the shop, since she was fixing to buy her Aunt Essie’s place in town when Essie retired. I gave her some good advice, too, and I could tell she was grateful. People admire my good business sense.

  It wasn’t but a few days later, however, that Donnette asked me a question that really started me thinking. And it was this soul-searching that eventually led me to change my life completely.

  She had talked me into getting a manicure that warm spring afternoon, and we were sitting there talking as Donnette worked on my nails. They were in bad shape from all the filing and typing I had to do in business school. I didn’t want any colored polish on them, just some clear shine. Daddy would have a bigger fit if I came home with nail polish on than if I got my hair cut any shorter.

  “Ellis,” Donnette asked me as she filed away on my nails, “who do you admire more than anybody you know?”

  I admit, I had again been feeling sorry for myself, talking about how uneventful my life was. I was surprised at Donnette’s question at first, but I didn’t have to think long about it, not the way I was raised.

  “Why, Jesus Christ, of course,” I said to her.

  Donnette laughed. “You sound like a Miss America contestant. Come on.”

  I felt sort of insulted. “I’m serious. Jesus Christ.”

  “A living person, Ellis. Think of it this way—who would you most like to be?”

  The answer came suddenly as I looked into Donnette’s artfully made-up dark eyes, and her long, sun-streaked hair, curling so perfectly around her pretty face.

  “Well. I reckon that would be you, Donnette.”

  This time Donnette threw back her head and laughed, but I could tell she was flattered.

  “There ain’t nothing to admire about me! Come on, let’s get you shampooed now. Your nails look so nice we might as well do your hair, too.”

  It was under the dryer that I realized I really hadn’t been truthful with Donnette. Oh, sure, I admired her looks all right. And she was married to Tim Sullivan, who in spite of that accident still looked so good any girl would be glad to get him. And I knew from the way she talked about him that she loved him more than anything on this earth. No, it wasn’t that. It was that Donnette and Tim, in spite of having such good looks and each other to boot, were just too poor for me. That I didn’t admire one little bit. We had always been dirt-poor, so poor we couldn’t even buy regular groceries; Mama and Daddy had to raise vegetables and chickens and hogs so that we would have enough to eat.

  I knew then who I admired more than anybody: I admired the Clarks. Come to think of it, I admired Miss Opal Clark most. I had seen her many times around town, and of course people talked all the time about the Clarks, so I knew that she had come from a poor family like me. But she had set her cap for Harris Clark Jr., and look where she was now. She had been a widow for over twenty years, but she stayed right there with the Clarks and became one of them. I admired that a lot, too. So. If only I could look like Donnette, have a husband like Tim, and be in Miss Opal Clark’s position in town. My goals! I decided as soon as my hair dried I’d hit Donnette with them—see if she thought goals were all you had to have in order to succeed. Ha! She’d faint dead away.

  Donnette didn’t faint dead away at all—she didn’t even laugh. As a matter of fact, she took me very seriously. She listened to me carefully, and nodded when I told her what I’d decided under the dryer. All she said was, “Let me think on that some, okay?” I never dreamed she’d find the perfect answer for me!

  Later that same night, I lay in my bed in Mama and Daddy’s house and thought about my life. I had made the first step by going away to college, I knew that, but I also knew that it was not enough. I felt almost panicked when I thought about being over thirty years old, and time slipping away from me. The years had started to roll by, one right after the other, and they were all the same. I took deep breaths in order to keep my heart from jumping out of my chest. I had to get away from this. I had to change.

  Mama and Daddy were good, good as gold, but they didn’t know anything about the world out there. They had always lived by the Bible and what they heard every Sunday in that stifling little church where we’d gone all our lives, that church where no one sings or laughs or wears any makeup on their faces. Then a thought hit me that scared me to death because it was so shocking. Where had all of that stuff my church preached every Sunday ever gotten anyone? Just look at Mama and Daddy and everyone else in our church—poor and ignorant and content to stay that way. Where had their religion gotten them? I mean, look what happened to Jesus. He was good, and He was religious, and look where He ended up! I saw clearly then what Donnette had been saying to me when I thought about Jesus. Goals, that’s what He lacked. The man never had any goals.

  So I set my goals and Donnette set about seeing tha
t I got them. She called me one day the very next week, all excited, and I hurried out to her trailer. She’d come up with the perfect plan, the answer. My life was about to take a new course.

  Oh, at first it was so difficult for me. I couldn’t take in the thought of what Donnette proposed to me—that I set my cap for Sonny Clark the same way Miss Opal went after Harris Jr.! I was willing to settle for much less. I tried to get Donnette to just help me get a job working for Mr. Harris, maybe at the bank, and I’d be satisfied. But her plan—there was no way I could go along with Donnette’s crazy idea.

  I had no experience with men at all, none whatsoever—except that one time, and I’d never tell Donnette or anyone about that. Plus I knew Sonny Clark’s reputation with women. I admit, it both scared and thrilled me to death to think about him. I had always thought he was cute as could be, but him being younger than me, I’d never thought anything about going with him.

  But Donnette would not hear of me lowering my goals; she’d get real mad at me and tell me to go back to the sticks if I was too scared to do this. At times, I was, then I’d go back to her, and we’d talk some more. The more we talked, the more convinced I became that I had a chance.

  Donnette herself was convinced that this could work because she and Sonny Clark had always been real close friends. She claimed that Sonny tried his best to get her to marry him just a couple of years ago, before she married Tim. She swore that he was ready for marriage, that Mr. Harris was putting all sorts of pressure on him to settle down. My timing couldn’t be better. Sonny had to marry and settle down soon, or Mr. Harris was going to boot him out of the house. There was no way our plan could fail.

  Well, I would have remained totally unconvinced if I hadn’t let Donnette make me over into a glamorous, sophisticated woman. She cut my hair real short and frosted it almost white-blonde. Then she pierced my ears, and put makeup on my face. My body was fine; I was strong and healthy from living on a farm all my life. At first Donnette wanted me to diet to trim off a few pounds, but she took a look at Miss Opal and changed her mind.

  Donnette’s theory is that men marry women who remind them of their mothers. She swears that there is a picture of Tim’s mother that looks exactly like her.

  Once I saw myself in the mirror at Donnette’s trailer, I knew that I had a chance. Then me and her went shopping for clothes. I didn’t have much money, so we went to Discount World in Columbus, which has much nicer clothes than Kmart at about the same price. Class, that’s what I had to have, Donnette insisted. She picked out colorful sundresses and shorts sets for me, still using Miss Opal as our model.

  I then got me some contacts and put away my glasses forever. I tell you, when I walked into my classes that next Monday, people didn’t know who I was. It is amazing what a new image can do for a woman. Right away, I enrolled in a self-improvement course at the community college, as well as a remedial English and vocabulary class. If I was going for this, I was going all the way.

  As a matter of fact, Donnette’s strategy was just the opposite on that particular point. My face blushed a dark red when she first told me how I was going to get Hamilton Clark.

  “Fixing you up with Sonny will be no problem,” she assured me. “I’ve fixed him up before, and he’ll go with anybody. No offense, Ellis. But the rest is up to you. Sonny has never been able to resist anything he can’t have. Under no circumstances can you go all the way with him, you hear me? Under no circumstances. But you’ve got to make him want to so bad he can’t see straight.”

  At first I didn’t know what she was talking about. “Go all the way? What do you mean?”

  “Oh, my God, Ellis. Don’t tell me you’re a—This may be harder than I thought! Okay. Let me think on this awhile. First you got to take a room in town. Better yet, in Columbus.”

  Well, I balked and resisted her most of the way, and some of the things she proposed embarrassed me so much that I couldn’t face Sonny Clark without blushing when we first started going together. But Donnette was right, about everything. Every single thing worked out according to her plan.

  And I don’t give the Lord one bit of credit for it like I would have at one time, before I understood who really makes miracles happen. Now that my eyes have been opened to the truth, I finally understand that every person is in charge of his or her own life, and that all the praying and carrying on done every Sunday is not going to help near as much as having a friend like Donnette.

  I pulled up in the driveway of Donnette’s house, but I didn’t get out like I planned. I could see into the shop window, and I saw that someone was in there with her. It looked like Elton Davis’s wife from here. I sure couldn’t talk to Donnette now about what I’d seen at the river, because Florece Davis is one of the biggest gossips in a town where she has plenty of competition. Not that I cared a bit if everyone in town knew what Taylor was up to, but I wasn’t sure yet what to make of what I saw. I decided I’d wait and call Donnette later and ask to see her when no one else was around. I needed to find out from someone in the family when Taylor was going back, too. I could talk to Miss Opal first, before I talked to Donnette. Then I’d have two bits of information to share with her. So I turned the car around and went back home.

  On the way I passed Mr. Hiram Clark’s house, where crazy old Della Dean lives. Miss Opal was right; it could be turned into a beautiful house for me and Hamilton and our children. I expected to be getting pregnant any time now. I was disappointed that I wasn’t already, since that was a major part of me and Donnette’s plan. But I would be soon, and we’d need a house of our own. Miss Opal and I had some great plans for the complete remodeling of the old Hiram Clark house. It was going to be so pretty decorated in shades of pale yellow and sky blue. If only Miss Della would hurry up and either kick the bucket or go on to the nursing home, we could get started on it. It was in Mr. Hiram’s will that the house go to Mr. Harris if he outlives Miss Della, so Taylor might as well give up and go on back to Louisiana with the other Cajuns. No way he can outsmart me anyway!

  I ended up telling Hamilton about Taylor and that Sarah woman at the river. I didn’t really intend to, but I couldn’t get Donnette on the phone, and I was dying to tell someone.

  That night after supper, me and Hamilton sat around with the family for a while like we usually did, then excused ourselves to go upstairs and watch TV in our room. I admit, it was pretty boring sitting around downstairs with the family.

  They have a TV down there, but they never watch anything but the Tuscaloosa news because Daddy Clark thinks there’s too much cussing and fornicating on TV nowadays. Instead, Daddy Clark studies his Sunday School lesson. He teaches the Men’s Bible Class every Sunday, and he puts a lot of work into it, looking up stuff all the time in his complete set of Barclay’s Bible Commentary.

  Miss Frances Martha either looks through her cookbooks, or dozes in her rocking chair. Miss Opal usually looks through women’s magazines, Redbook and Ladies’ Home Journal, but she always sighs and carries on like she’s so bored she could scream. She keeps going back and forth to her bathroom, too. When we first married, I felt sorry for her, thinking she had a kidney problem like Granny Rountree does. But Hamilton says she keeps her booze in there, hidden away from Daddy Clark.

  At first this information shocked and disillusioned me, but my outlook on society has broadened lately. I realized that a cocktail could be a very soothing thing. Hamilton doesn’t drink hard liquor or beer anymore, but we, too, keep a bottle of wine or sherry in our bedroom. We share a glass of wine or two just about every night.

  When we finally went up to our room, Hamilton jumped up in the bed immediately and started flicking the channels around, looking for a wrestling match. But I turned the TV off. I just couldn’t wait to tell somebody what I’d seen. I tried to get Donnette on the phone again a few minutes ago, but they’d gone somewhere, I reckon.

  “Hamilton, listen to me. You won’t believe what I saw today.” I hadn’t even told him yet about Glenda and Dink. I kne
w that Hamilton liked Dink a lot and used to hang around with him some, so I wasn’t sure if he’d be sympathetic with me being so upset about them.

  “Come here first, Mama.” He held out his arms to me, and I went and laid down beside him on the bed. He’s so loving. He just can’t seem to get enough. He says that we have to do it all the time if we want to have a baby. But I wanted to tell him about his cousin Taylor first, so I propped up next to him on the pillows and pushed his hands off me gently.

  “Hamilton, listen to me. I rode out by the river this morning. I was just looking around some, you know. I sure didn’t expect to see what I saw!”

  He lit a cigarette and pulled me close to him again. “No telling what you’ll see at the river, hon. You better not go out there again without me.”

  “Hamilton, I saw your cousin Taylor Dupree out there, all lovey-dovey with a someone on a beach towel.”

  Hamilton laughed and ruffled my hair affectionately. “Was he queering off with someone now that he has that faggy long hair? I knew his true colors would finally come through.”

  Hamilton can’t stand Taylor, but he’s always been able to put him down effectively and not let him get under his skin. And I’ve given him a few pointers myself lately, sarcasm being my specialty.

  “Hamilton, Taylor was with a woman old enough to be his mother!” I told him.

  “That doesn’t surprise me either. He’s bound to have some kind of hang-up, having Charlotte for a mother. Maybe he’s looking for a mother figure to screw.”

  Hamilton really laughed at that. He could be so vulgar sometimes. I just don’t know where he gets that; surely not from anyone in the Clark family.

  “She sure has screwed him all his life, hand it to her,” he added, laughing like everything.

  “Stop talking ugly and listen to me. He was with that niece of Miss Maudie Ferguson’s!”

  This time Hamilton paid attention to me. He sat straight up and looked right at me. “Are you kidding me?”