Fairy Tales (Queer Magick Book 2)

by L. C. Davis

  He frowned. “That’s not...it’s not that simple.”

  “That’s what I told myself,” I said with no shortage of self-loathing. “Until Holden. Seemed like it was pretty simple with him.”

  “It was different with Holden. You know that.”

  “I know. I’m not accusing you of anything, Nick. You’re not obligated to return my feelings, or to feel something for me just because you imprinted on another guy. I shouldn’t have said anything. I definitely shouldn’t have kissed you.”

  “I’m the one who kissed you,” he reminded me. “And it’s not the first time I’ve wanted to, it’s just the first time I’ve been reckless enough to actually do it.”

  “Guess I know the feeling.” I didn’t believe this was about anything more than a misguided attempt to make me feel slightly less pathetic, but it was nice for what it was.

  “I hate it when you do that.”

  “Do what?” I blinked.

  “You retreat into yourself and make it impossible to tell what you’re thinking.” He moved a little closer, his hand pressed warm against my chest, resting over my heart. It was the thing that had once given me away as dead, and now it was giving me away with its frantic rhythm. “What you’re feeling.”

  “I’m not that complicated,” I admitted, my voice strained. “At least, my feelings aren’t. Not when it comes to you.”

  His lips curved downward. “I wish I could say the same.”

  “Do you?” I asked warily. Because I was better at nothing than ruining moments, dissecting and gutting them until there was nothing left but the brutal truth I had to punish myself with, if only so it couldn’t sneak up on me. “Feel anything for me, I mean.”

  He didn’t reply, not at first. He just watched me and I found it as impossible to look into those golden eyes as it was to look away. “I love you,” he said carefully, deliberately. “I have for a long time, and I always will. Maybe I didn’t imprint on you, but what I feel for you goes as deep as anything I’m capable of feeling. For my pack, for Holden. I’ve never questioned the depth of it, but the direction… Sometimes it’s hard for me to figure out which way it goes. I don’t think it’s possible to love someone as much as I love you without it having the potential to go in any direction, including ones that scare the hell out of me, and until now…”

  “Until Holden, there wasn’t any reason for you to think about it,” I said, beginning to understand. Hearing him say those words, admitting he loved me, even if it wasn’t the same way I loved him, was enough. For the first time, it was enough.

  “Yeah,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry I never told you that, Daniel. I guess I’m just so used to being part of a pack, where certain things go unsaid because everyone knows they’re a given. I’ve always seen you as an extension of my pack, so it’s easy to forget you’re human. To forget there are things you can’t know unless I say them.”

  Human… I still didn’t feel like the word applied to me, but when I was with Nick, it was easier. He was so warm, so strong, so full of the pulsing energy that only came from the supernatural and I’d only recently begun to consciously recognize. It was only in contrast to him that I became aware of my own morality, only with him that I felt like it meant something. “It’s not like it’s your fault I’m a needy sap,” I said with a dry laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

  He smiled a little. His hand was still resting over my heart, so warm it almost burned. “You are, but I like it. I like that as cold and crusty as you are with everyone else, you need me. Sometimes I wish…”

  “Wish what?” I asked, far too eager.

  He hesitated, like he felt guilty for whatever it was he was about to say. In the end, the guilt won out. “Nothing.” Before I could pester him any further, he pushed me down onto my back and kissed me again, settling his weight on top of me. His body was as warm as his hand, pressed to mine, and I scarcely had time to process the fact that he was kissing me before he deepened it. I’d always imagined Nick would be aggressive in bed, but fantasizing and actually being the object of his focus were two entirely different things. I could hardly breathe as his tongue broke into my mouth, but when his hands tangled in my hair and he parted my legs with his knee, I decided oxygen was overrated, anyway.

  Despite being in his human form, Nick was all fangs and teeth as what had started out as an exploratory kiss became a full-on conquest. He nipped my neck, his nails digging into my sides as they ran up my chest. He’d seen me naked on more than a few occasions, but in this context, as he tore off my shirt, I found myself unusually self-conscious about the fact that Nick was ripped and I wasn’t exactly an Olympian athlete. He pulled his shirt over his head and laid back on top of me, pausing to cock his head when he noticed my hesitation. “Are you blushing?”

  “No,” I muttered.

  “I’ve seen you naked what, a thousand times?” he scoffed. “Why is this any different?”

  “Because we’re not in a locker room.”

  Amusement shone in his gaze as it ran over me, making me newly aware of every flaw I possessed. Having a glass eye probably should have bothered me more than not having a defined six pack anymore, but it didn’t. “And here I thought I was the one with body image issues.”

  “Please, you look like a fucking model and you never pass up a chance to be shirtless.”

  He smirked. “Didn’t pay all that money for nothing.“

  The scars on his chest were even fainter than they had been the last time I’d seen them, a few shades paler than his tanned skin. I swallowed hard as I followed the sculpted muscle down to his washboard abs and the sharp cut of his hips jutting into his waistband. He followed my gaze, the crooked angle of his lips turning even sultrier as he unfastened his belt and slowly unbuttoned his jeans. He paused but I was still transfixed as he shifted, sliding a bit further down the bed to start working on my own fly.

  “Nick, you don’t have to --”

  He silenced me with a warning look. “Don’t make this weird.”

  It already felt pretty fucking weird, now that I was reasonably sure I wasn’t dreaming. I realized he was trying to tug off my jeans so I struggled out of them because that was slightly less awkward than letting him undress me, but the moment he slipped his hands into my boxers, I stiffened up in more ways than one. “Wait!”

  He sighed, exasperated. “I thought you wanted this.”

  “I did -- I do -- I just don’t know what this is.”

  “Does everything have to have a label?”

  I thought about it for a second before admitting, “Yeah. I don’t care what this is, I just need to know. I don’t mind being your experiment,” I said at the risk of sounding exactly as pathetic as I was. Experiment, one-night stand, friend, it didn’t really matter. If Nick asked it of me, I’d be it because more than anything else, I just wanted to be his something, but I also knew myself. Sleeping with Asher had only made it hurt more when I realized who he really was, and Nick being who he was only meant I was setting myself up for a harder fall. “I just need you to be honest if that’s all it is.”

  Nick watched me, frowning in deep contemplation. “You’re not an experiment, Daniel. You’re a hell of a lot more than that. This whole time, I’ve been telling myself that what you are is too important to me to risk losing by exploring any other side of our relationship, but I can see now that’s only pushed us further apart.”

  “You’re never going to lose me, Nick. Not as a friend, whether you decide you want to be anything else or not. I’m in this.”

  “I know you are,” he said, smiling as he ran his fingers through my hair. This time, when he kissed me it was soft, affectionate. “But I’m tired of not knowing, of being afraid to figure things out. You’re not an experiment, but I need to know if this,” he said, lacing his fingers with mine, “Is something I can do. Is that okay?”

  The words stuck in my throat, so I nodded. It was more than okay. It was exactly the way so many of my dreams started out, but the reali
ty of Nick exploring my body with his hands and teeth and tongue was so much more than the fantasy. I let him go at his pace, not the least of all because I was too overwhelmed to think straight let alone be seductive, and this time, I didn’t try to stop him when he slipped his hand into my boxers. He smiled in that way that always completely undid me and purred, “I like how responsive you are.”

  I let out a laugh that came out as more of a gasp. “To you,” I mumbled. That must have been the right answer because the lust that flared in his eyes was unmistakable, no matter how impossible it seemed that it was directed at me.

  He gripped my shaft with a long, languid stroke and slipped my boxers down. I tugged them off the rest of the way but used the opportunity to touch him the way I’d never dared. Just his shoulders at first, waiting for permission to explore the heated planes of his bare skin before my hands traveled down. He was smooth and warm and hot under my fingertips, like stones laid out in the sun by the river. His breath hitched a little when my fingers brushed over the scars on his chest, but he didn’t say anything, so I kept moving down, pressing my lips to his collar. My tongue flicked out and he tasted better than I’d ever imagined. I took my time exploring his body, both because I wanted to make sure he was comfortable with it and because now that I had the chance, I wasn’t about to squander it with rushing.

  When I reached his boxers, I paused and shifted off the bed and onto my knees in front of him, looking up for permission as I tugged lightly at the hem. “Will you let me?” My voice was thick and needy, but I was too hungry to taste him to be embarrassed of my own desperation.

  For the first time, he seemed uncertain, not of what was happening but the fact that it was happening at all. I knew the feeling well. He nodded and I unzipped his jeans, freeing his shaft from his boxers. For once, I let myself take him in the way I only ever had in glimpses. His dick was thick and almost hard, and the moment I took it in my hand, it stiffened up before I could even get my mouth around the crown. He let out a ragged breath as I took him deeper, worshipping every inch of his cock like I’d found a new religion. I’d never really questioned my dick sucking skills, but being with someone who had previously only been with women had me feeling like I was taking the master’s exam.

  “God, Daniel,” he growled, gripping a fistful of my hair. The approval in his husky voice spurred me on and I deep-throated him before pulling back, circling my tongue around the head of his shaft. My nails dug into his thighs, his into my scalp and with every touch, electricity shot through me. Just as I was about to swallow him whole again, he gave my hair a gentle tug, forcing me to meet his eyes.

  “I wanna fuck you,” he breathed. The want in his voice mirrored my own, sending a shiver down my spine. “Is that okay?”

  “Hell, yeah.” Smooth, Daniel. I got to my feet, feeling like every cell in my body was vibrating too fast, energy ready to burst from my skin. Getting fucked wasn’t something I usually did, but with him, I was more than willing to make an exception. Especially since I knew there wasn’t a damn chance of it being the other way around. It wasn’t really that I preferred being a top so much as the fact that the handful of men I’d slept with since Dennis just assumed I was one, and I didn’t have enough of a preference to insist on anything different.

  I hesitated. “You uh, have condoms and lube, right?”

  “Yeah,” he muttered, seeming almost as awkward as I felt as he reached into the drawer of his bedside table. He tore the wrapper with his teeth and looked away because for some reason, watching him put the condom on felt more intimate than sucking him off. Sex could be awkward enough on its own, but sex with your best friend was infinitely moreso, as I was beginning to realize.

  I sat back down and Nick kissed me again. The moment his lips met mine, everything else faded. The clumsiness, the apprehension, the shred of common sense I had left that told me this wasn’t going to work. He guided me back, his hand traveling down my stomach and taking a detour to caress the outside of my thigh. He settled next to me without breaking the kiss and when he pressed a lubed finger to my entrance, I found myself relieved I didn’t have to remind him to prepare me.

  Despite the fact that he hadn’t touched my dick since we’d both disrobed, I was still painfully hard. My shaft throbbed as his finger slipped into me and my breath faltered on his lips.

  “Did I hurt you?” he asked worriedly.

  I shook my head, deepening the kiss as I ground against him. He worked his finger in deeper and then another. The first time he brushed against my prostate seemed accidental, but he caught on to the way it made me shudder and had me seeing stars. “Please,” I begged when I felt like I was in danger of coming without getting to feel him inside of me.

  Nick shifted, pulling his fingers out. “Roll over.” Everything was a command when he said it in that tone, raw and husky, and I was embarrassingly eager to heed it. I barely had time to catch my breath as I felt him settle behind me, his fingers digging into my hips as he positioned himself. “I don’t wanna hurt you,” he muttered.

  “You won’t,” I promised. “Just go slow.”

  Slow, fast, it didn’t really matter to me at that point. I wanted him and this moment enough that I didn’t care how he gave it to me. I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood as he pressed against me. It ached more than I recalled, but the pain had always been something I put up with to get to the pleasure. This time, I found myself enjoying it in its own right. I only realized Nick had stopped breathing completely when his breath came out in a shudder as he slipped deeper inside of me.

  “Fuck.”

  “That’s the idea,” I teased, breathless.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I will be if you stop asking me that and start fucking me.”

  To his credit, he took me up on it without hesitation. My fists balled in the sheets as Nick drove into me balls-deep, filling me in a way that made it impossible to distinguish pain from pleasure. When he started thrusting in a steady rhythm, angling until he found my spot and elicited a strangled cry from me, pleasure took over.

  “Nick,” I groaned, my legs trembling beneath me. He wrapped an arm around my waist to keep me steady, his chest pressed against my back. Arousal had heated his skin to the point where any contact came close to burning, including the part of him that was throbbing inside of me, but it felt good in the same blissfully painful way a too-hot shower or aching muscles after an intense workout did. When he reached between my legs, stroking my shaft as he kissed the back of my neck, I felt like I’d come undone. Like he’d pulled whatever frail string was holding me together and unleashed everything from the desire I’d felt for him for years to the doubt that had kept me from confessing it.

  I wasn’t quite delusional enough to think that one night would change the way things were between us--or the way they weren’t. But as the line between us blurred, I felt closer to Nick than I ever had on so many levels, and that was enough. The way he whispered my name as he took his pleasure in me was just perfection added on top of perfection.

  Soon, the love bites on the back of my neck and shoulder turned sharp and as Nick’s breathing grew shallow, his thrusts went deeper. I’d never hovered on the brink of orgasm for quite that long, but I was too desperate to savor it to give in. I arched into him and he growled something that might as easily have been profane as affectionate. Maybe both.

  “Don’t stop,” I pleaded, reaching back to grope his hair as he fucked me until my vision blurred. “I need…”

  “What?” he growled, his voice guttural. “What do you need?”

  Tears stung my eyes, not from pain but from whatever it was that his first touch had stirred within me. This whole time it had been growing stronger, surging, and now it felt like the heat of it was going to burn through my skin. I wanted it--I wanted him--to consume me until there was nothing left but this feeling, the sensation of me and him. It was never going to get any better than this, and now that this was finally happening, the weight of losing it
felt like it was going to crush me.

  “I need you.” The words came out desperate and pathetic and broken, and I hated myself for it, but I couldn’t take them back. Something surged between us, something I wouldn’t have been able to recognize for what it was a year ago--pure energy. It was akin to the trance I’d felt under Lilith’s influence, the maddening contentment that always washed over me after an encounter with Locke, but it was also unlike anything I’d ever experienced.

  Nick’s chest vibrated with a low growl, or maybe a pur. His response wasn’t what I’d expected. I had expected him to recoil from my weakness, if not to laugh it off, but instead, he held me like he was as afraid to let go as I was for him to release me. “Daniel,” he whispered, as if my name itself held some meaning even I didn’t understand. His voice was soft and low, but there was something in it that startled me. Something dark and wild, something I’d never heard before, not on his lips. They brushed across the back of my neck and he thrust into me as if he was trying to press us even closer together than before and just as he rammed into my spot again, his teeth sank into my flesh.

  Pain surged through the back of my neck and shoulder but the cry that escaped me wasn’t entirely born of it. His teeth were so much sharper than I’d ever imagined and as he buried them in the crook of my neck, an entirely new sensation coursed through me. It had the intensity of orgasm with the vaguely frustrating feeling of an itch that wouldn’t be scratched, maddening and dizzying at once. The force of it pushed me over the edge and I came in his hand as he bucked his hips, claiming me relentlessly, flesh and blood and spirit. The same energy surge I’d felt before was moving through me rather than over me, as if his bite had infected me with fire that seemed to spread through my veins.

  Nick growled, a monstrous sound as he bit down harder and thrust violently as his own orgasm took him over. I’d never been so horrified or so enraptured, and I’d never feared or loved anyone more than I did him in that moment. I collapsed with him wrapped around me, buried inside of me in every possible way, and struggled for breath as my frenzied thoughts tried to align themselves in some order that made sense.