Conan (Black Shamrocks MC: First Generation Book 1)

by Kylie Hillman

  Understanding fills her beautiful face. “Is that what you meant in the kitchen?”

  “Yeah,” I breathe the answer in a barely audible voice. “I’m no good for you.”

  Colleen struggles underneath me. I back away and let her sit up. She points at me, seemingly unaware that she’s naked before me, and sets me straight in no uncertain terms. “You killed a bad man. He deserved everything he got and more. What you did was a good thing. I don’t care if you took some enjoyment in messing with him before you did it. Bonnie wasn’t right about much tonight, but she was right about one thing. I am thankful that you fell for me enough to kill for me. You ended my nightmare. You set me free. Thanks to you, I can have the life I would have had if my parents had lived.”

  She reaches for me and I come willingly. Tears make her eyes gleam in the flickering light of the television. Her throat works when she swallows. “Thank you for being you. For being strong enough to protect me when I couldn’t. I don’t care if you kill twenty men, that won’t change what I feel about you because I know that if you killed them, then they deserved it.”

  “You can’t know that,” I argue. “What if I let you down? What if my temper gets the better of me and I snap?”

  Certainty—solid and true—greets me when I run my eyes over her face. “You won’t. I trust you.”

  Her faith is like a purifying fire to my soul. It sets me alight and burns bright until my conscience no longer makes me question my intentions. With Colleen by my side, I can stay true and prove that I am worthy.

  She rains down kisses over my face. I pull her down the bed until she’s laying beneath me. When I lower myself between her legs, she doesn’t try to stop me. Nope, instead she arches into me, forcing my cock into contact with her wetness.

  She runs her nails up my back. I shudder, and press myself harder against her. If she doesn’t stop touching me, this is going to be over before it begins. I take her wandering hands, both of her wrists fitting in one of mine, and pin her arms above her head. With that arm for leverage, I use my free hand to guide my dick to her core. I’ve wanted this since the first moment I saw her and now that it’s staring me in the face, I can’t believe that it’s really happening.

  “I don’t know why you’ve been given to me for safekeeping.” I press the first inch inside of her as I speak. “But, I promise you that I’ll look after you forever.”

  Colleen stiffens as I push the rest of the way into her body. I wait until she relaxes a bit, then I begin to move. In and out. Gaining pace as the resistance decreases, I maintain my control until I feel her hips lifting to meet mine.

  I let go of her wrists and reach between us to rub her clit. My experience in this area is lacking, however my inexpert movements must be doing the job. It takes a few minutes—minutes where I end up grinding my teeth as Colleen progressively tightens around me—but then it happens. She arches her back off the bed, her pussy spasming around my cock, and she comes. Her climax is nearing the end, the pulsing beginning to slow, when my orgasm hits and I spill my cum inside of her.

  Struggling to regain my breath as the shuddering subsides, I fall to the side of Colleen, grabbing her tight as I go and pulling her into my chest. She comes without complaint, her little fingers snaking their way into my hair. We lie like this for God knows how long.

  It’s perfect and I wish it could last forever.

  Unfortunately, a light shines through my window and sends shadows spilling through my room. The sound of an approaching Harley fills the neighbourhood. I sit bolt upright, scaring the crap out of Colleen.

  “What is it?” She is half asleep. Her drowsy expression makes me want to kiss her, but I know I don’t have time.

  “Quick,” I grab her towel and pass it to her. “That’s my dad. You better head back to your room before he loses his shit.”

  Colleen doesn’t wait around to hear anything further. She wraps the towel around her body and sneaks out of my room, stopping for two seconds to blow me a kiss.

  The door shuts behind her, just as my dad cuts the engine on his bike. I lay back in my bed and wait for what is to come with a lazy smile on my face. They can take my patch, but they won’t be able to take Colleen.

  The front door slams shut. Heavy, booted footsteps march up the hallway. I brace, a little of my post orgasm bliss disappearing as he approaches. I’m left wondering because he doesn’t slow. Dad passes my bedroom without missing a step, the sound of my parent’s door being shut the last thing I hear.

  My father is not one for giving the silent treatment so the fact that he didn’t stop by to tell me how stupid I was tonight, is more than worrying—it’s downright disturbing. Does this mean that I’m on my own tomorrow when the Club meets? Is my own father going to turn his back on me in favour of the Black Shamrocks MC?

  TWENTY-SIX

  Colin

  “It’s time,” Grinder says. He holds open the door for me to enter and closes it behind me with an efficient thud once I’m through. The lump that’s been in my throat for the past hour is trying to choke me. I make eye contact with each man that I pass, but not one member of the Black Shamrocks hierarchy gives me an indication of how they’re feeling.

  I’ve never been in this room before. The Chapel is what they call it. It’s the epicentre of the Club, the place where they vote on the decisions that affect us all. As a Prospect, I was never allowed to vote. As a man on trial for breaking the constitution, I am worse than the enemy. To them, I am lower than the Mavericks of Mayhem.

  I am a traitor.

  I betrayed our brotherhood before they’d officially accepted me and I hadn’t even done it for blood. I betrayed them for a girl—one they consider no better than a whore. It’s the ultimate insult. I couldn’t have offended them more if I’d spat on the graves of the men who didn’t make it back from Vietnam with them.

  You see, the Black Shamrocks have an oath they make you pledge before you can join them.

  “Brotherhood is not just a bible word. It is a way of life. Absolute loyalty. Allegiance until death. Club before blood. Go deo deartháireacha I arm. Forever Brothers in Arms.

  The day I’d uttered the words, I meant them from the bottom of my heart. Never in my wildest dreams had it crossed my mind that I would find something that I cared about as much as the Club. I was wrong. Colleen has become as important to me as the Shamrocks, and we’re only at the beginning. There’s a fair chance that she could eclipse them in time.

  “Colin Blake,” Prez announces me. “Take a seat.”

  He gestures toward the lone chair at the opposite end of the table to him. Everyone else is crammed down the sides. Leo sits at the head as the President and Frankie is to his right as the Vice President. My dad is to the left as the Sergeant-At-Arms. It was a spot I’d always believed would be mine one day. Now, I’m not so sure.

  Dad had left by the time I woke up this morning. My mother’s watchful gaze had made me treat Colleen differently, until I’d decided that if I was going down, I was going down with my girl by my side. Sitting Mum down over a cup of coffee and laying it all out had proven surprisingly fruitful. She’d given us her blessing and promised to talk my father into letting the McCormack girls stay at our house, no matter how the vote went today. With Colleen’s immediate future in safe hands, I was able to head to the Clubhouse with a huge weight off my shoulders.

  “I said sit down,” Leo barks at me.

  I snap out of my head in an instant and plant my ass in the seat. Regret that I’ve managed to anger him already makes my gut churn. More than I have ever in my life, I wish that Vic, Brian, and Paddy were by my side. We took our oath together, everyone certain that we would make it through as Prospects with our quartet intact.

  I’ll bet that not one of them saw this coming.

  “We haven’t voted yet.” My President addresses me from the other side of the room. “There are questions in need of answers. Details that only you can provide.”

  He nods at Frankie, who
pushes his seat back and stands. “Quinn tells us that you were unaware that we had decreed the McCormack girl off-limits to any man in the Club until her uncle was dealt with. He tells us that he failed in his job to inform you of this. Is this correct? Was your father derelict in his duty to the Black Shamrocks MC?”

  My eyes bug out of my head. Dad’s lying. He told me more than once that I had to stay away from Colleen or risk losing my patch. When I look at him, he meets me with a steady gaze that tells me nothing. I beg him with my eyes to give me a sign about how to play this. He provides no clue.

  “Cole, answer your VP.” Leo demands.

  I stare down at the huge, handcrafted wooden slab that makes up the tabletop. I don’t know how to proceed. Surely, Dad isn’t sacrificing himself to save my ass? My loyalty to my father revolts at the thought of letting him lose his position over my fuck up. If anyone is throwing themselves on a sword today, it’s going to be me.

  Standing, I place both hands flat on the table and face my President. I’m deliberately ignoring Frankie because he won’t be casting the deciding vote if it comes to that. “No, that’s not true. Dad told me repeatedly to stay away from Colleen. I refused to listen because she was in trouble and I knew I could protect her. He has done no wrong. My father is an excellent Sergeant-At-arms. He is the type of man I want to be when I grow up.”

  My father’s head drops. He shakes it once, then he stands. He walks around the table to me. I brace—for what, I don’t know. Understanding is what I receive. Dad claps me on the back before he announces, “I’m recusing myself from this vote as per section three ninety-six of our constitution. If anyone has an issue about this, I’ll gladly hand in my SAA patch.”

  Nobody blinks, except for Frankie. He opens his mouth, then thinks better of it and retakes his seat.

  “You’re free to leave,” Leo states.

  The doors swing shut with a thump. I stare down the length of the table and wait for what comes next. Frankie stands again, but this time his demeanour has changed. “I also recuse myself from this vote as per section three ninety-six.”

  Leo inclines his head and Frankie makes his way to the exit. On his way out, he slaps me on the back in the same spot as my father and says, “Proud of you.”

  Now, I’m more than confused. It’s not my place to interrogate the leaders of the Club, but damned if there isn’t one big question right on the tip of my tongue.

  What the fuck is going on?

  Vic’s father, the Black Shamrocks Road Captain/Secretary stands. He addresses Leo and recuses himself from the vote under section three ninety-six as well. Amos hasn’t taken a step before another Shamrock does the same thing. I watch in horror, my mouth hanging open as they all recuse themselves, and then leave the room. Each man pauses to slap me on the back before they depart.

  Five, long minutes later, it’s just me and my President left. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t quaking in my boots. Leo scares the shit out of me. He has since I was a little boy, and it hasn’t gone away as I’ve grown older.

  “Cole,” he says. “Do you understand what’s happening?”

  “No, Sir. I don’t.”

  He steeples his hands in front of himself, leaning on his elbows as he regards me from above them. “Every man in this Club recused himself from the vote using the section that was created to leave the decision in the hands of the President. After testing your honesty with our questions about your father, they have found your actions honourable, and have declared that they would have done the same thing as you, regardless of it breaking our oath. Now, it’s left for me to decide if I agree with them.”

  Attempting to swallow the damn lump in my throat again, I wipe my sweaty palms against the denim covering my thighs. Common sense tells me to keep my mouth shut. The desire to explain overrides it.

  “Can I speak first?” I ask.

  Leo nods. He tilts his head and listens with a patience that he never affords his own sons.

  “Colleen is an orphan. Her uncle was a junkie. When I found out that he’d given her a black eye, I knew I had to watch out for her. She was safe when she was here, but she couldn’t be here all the time. I knew that I was breaking a direct order when I started seeing her outside the Club. I knew that it could cost me my Prospect patch. I also know what’s right and what’s wrong and it was wrong to leave her to cope with her uncle on her own. She didn’t deserve to be used as a pawn by us and she shouldn’t have been left alone for the Mavericks to get their hands on her. When I shot Wizard last night, I didn’t do it as a Black Shamrock. I did it as a man defending his girl. When I put a bullet in Greg McCormack’s head, I didn’t do it as a Black Shamrock, that was also a man defending his girl. I know I’ve put the Club in a hard position with the Mavericks of Mayhem, but I wouldn’t hesitate to do the same thing again if Collen was in danger. If that makes me unsuitable to become a Black Shamrock, then I will have to live with the disappointment. I love this Club, but I love her just as much.”

  As far as speeches go, it’s long-winded and pretentious. It’s also from the heart and made of one-hundred percent truth. I woke up this morning undecided about who meant more to me. Now, the decision is made.

  Black Shamrocks MC or Colleen McCormack?

  She wins every time.

  I just hope that I don’t ever have to choose.

  EPILOGUE

  Colleen

  Two months later

  Cole is drunk. I’ve never seen him this drunk and I don’t think I want to see him like this again. Especially when I have something so important to tell him. If I wasn’t so stressed, the sight of him dancing on the pool table would make laugh. Tonight, it just makes me sad because it proves that he’s not ready for what’s about to come.

  “Heya,” Brian comes weaving over to me. Shari is tucked under his arm and she’s about as drunk as he is. Her hair is messed up and her sparkly top is on backward. They must have been in one of the back rooms making out.

  “Hey, yourself,” I reply. I don’t even bother to greet Shari. Once it became clear that her knee injury was career ending, she wiped me from her life. On one hand, I get it. On the other, I don’t ever think it will ever stop hurting. Eighteen years of friendship gone. Poof. Up in smoke.

  “Like my top rocker?” Brian lets go of Shari and shows me his back. His patch is exactly the same as the other boys, but I feign enthusiasm for it, exactly like I did for the rest of them. Tonight, is a huge occasion. They’ve finally become official members of the Black Shamrocks after a year of prospecting.

  “Kin I have everydun’s attenshun, plea,” my boyfriend slurs. He bangs the end of a pool cue on his beer bottle until the room grows quiet. When he wobbles too close to the edge, I hold my arms out even though I’m too far away to catch him and he’d squash me if he fell.

  The Clubhouse is full to the brim with family and friends of the MC. The sluts aren’t welcome at events like this so Felicity and her girls are having a well-earned night off. The ceremony where they reaffirmed their oath and were presented with their patches had made all the mum’s cry—except for Vic’s who hadn’t bothered to turn up. He’d pretended that it didn’t matter, but I could see that it did.

  “Attenshun,” Cole yells—or, I should say Conan, which is how we’re all supposed to refer to him now. During the patching in ceremony, the boys all received road names. Apparently, it’s the beginning of a new tradition. Seems stupid to me, but it made the boys beam so I didn’t say anything.

  Cole drops the beer bottle and the pool cue and waves his arms around. “I got somethin’ to say. Where’s Colleen?”

  Brian gives me a nudge in the direction of the pool table. I try to hide in the crowd so I can’t end up embarrassed by the drunk man who’s still calling for me.

  “Where’s Colleen?”

  Paddy pounces on me. He picks me up and carries me to the pool table. I cling to his head, literally, because he’s as drunk as the rest and as unsteady on his feet as Cole. Being the only so
ber bob in this place is not fun.

  “Found her,” Paddy crows. He puts me on the table with Cole and backs away with a shit-eating grin on his face. Vic and Brian push to the front of the crowd. Their smiles match Paddy’s and I realise that they know what’s going on. Bonnie stands in front of Vic and he wraps his arms around her. It warms my heart that the oddest couple I know are still going strong. It makes me more confident that Cole and I will make it.

  Cole takes my hand and drops to one knee. He messes around with the front pocket of his jeans, cursing when he can’t get his fingers in the small opening. I bend down and try to help him. He pushes my hand away and hisses at me, “No, stand up. You need to be standing.”

  It’s then that it hits me. My great, big, drunken lug is about to propose. I stand up like I’m instructed, one hand on my heart and the other resting on my belly. While this isn’t how I pictured it happening, I’m glad that he’s doing it off his own back and without feeling pressured by circumstances.

  My boyfriend manages to pull the ring out of his pocket. He holds it up high and everyone in the room claps. I’m ambivalent to the sincerity in their applause—it was barely three months ago that I was nothing more than McCormack scum and an indebted potential Club slut to them.

  You could say I still harbour a little resentment.

  I will admit that it is lessening with time.

  They clap again when Cole gets back down on one knee.

  “Colleen McCormack. I love you.” He isn’t slurring quite as much as he was which I appreciate. This is already a story that I can’t see myself telling my grandkids until they are well into their teens. “You make me a better man. I want to spend the rest of my life protecting you from anything that comes our way. Will you marry me?”

  He presents the ring to me. I look at him, then the jewel in his hand. Holding out my left hand, I let him slide it on my finger.