If I Was Your Woman: A BBW Camden Love Story

by Mz. Toni

  "Girl life is life and trust me some people got it way worse than you. I can't believe she stole your pads though like how much you think she gonna get for that shit?" Camille said. I couldn't do shit but shake my head at her crazy ass, underneath all the dramatics she always seems to spit some real shit.

  "Girl it was only a half a pack and it was the Rite Aid brand so I know she ain’t get much, and yeah you right I should be thankful for all the good in my life, like the fact that I’m graduating in a year," I said with a smile. See my mom doesn't even have her G.E.D or high school diploma so to have made it as far as I have with the cards I was dealt is a blessing.

  "Yasssss bishhh, we gotta go celebrate tonight foreal foreal and I don't want to hear shit we havies tonight!" Camille said with her ghetto fabulous ass.

  "Naw girl I can’t, I don’t even have anything to wear," I said seriously. What she forgot that my mom stole everything. Camille went in her purse and pulled out her debit card passing it to me. See money wasn't really an issue for Cammy, her dad still gives her a monthly payment of twenty-five hundred dollars even though she's grown. She says it's because he still feels guilty about leaving her and her mom for some young bitch.

  "Here bitch your outfit is on me and imma do ya hair and if you can't find nothing here don't forget that you still got some clothes at my house. We gonna give these bitches a run for they money now go head and shop while I close up," she said with authority. See that's why she was my friend. Even though she was my opposite, she was my true ride or die and that was for damn sure. I grabbed her card and started walking through Ashley Stewart. After a thorough search, I finally found my outfit and slid the card to pay for it. I turned to Camille with tears in my eyes, I didn't even have to say anything; she felt my appreciation and love for her.

  "Hell naw bitch don't go getting all emotional on me. I know you would do it for me you my girl and don’t be thanking me a thousand times either," my bestie sassed. I wiped my tears, hugged her, bagged my outfit up and we walked to Camille’s car.

  I swear I'm so tired of working all these hours and with school it's just overwhelming but I'm where I want to be in my life, well actually I'm a year early, so all this hard work is definitely paying off. I sat back and enjoyed the thirty-minute ride back to the hood. When we pulled up to our apartments out East Camden, the shit was lit like a block party. Chicks were being thots trying to find a local baller to snag. Niggas had their systems blaring and was definitely looking fly as hell. When we stepped out the car all eyes were on us even though we had on our work clothes we still was show stopping and stunting on these hoes. If you liked your girl thick, I was it and if you wanted a petite chick, my bestie was the baddest. Y’all already know Camille liked the attention, but me, I was focused on school. Since I was still a virgin, I could care less about sex so they weren't doing shit for me. Ain’t nobody ever had me open enough to make me even consider giving them the cookie. As we were walking into Camille’s house, I heard someone scream her name. She stopped and turned around, it was a neighborhood hustler named Mark. He was handsome, but not my type. I like my men with some muscle and Mark was skinny as hell. I also liked my men caramel or darker and he was Camille's complexion and kinda short compared to me. Mark ran up to us looking G'd out. He had on some black Levi jeans, a black and white Levi shirt, with black and white Jordan’s on, but what stood out most was his signature, it was a white gold "M" chain with mad diamonds, that shit was fire for real. Mark was only 23 and was already in the drug game heavy. He and Cammy dated for years but Cammy stopped fucking with him because he cheated on her a couple years back and now he was a certifiable whore. He had bitches constantly fighting over him and Cammy refused to beat another bitch's ass over some dick that couldn't be loyal. So she spoke and flirted and I'm almost certain they were still fucking, but she gave his ass no play on the relationship tip.

  "Yo Camille why you always fronting and shit?" Mark asked while grabbing her waist. I couldn't help but laugh, they always did this back and forth shit like I didn't know they were fucking again or something.

  "Boy ain’t nobody fronting, you got way too many thots for me to ever fuck with you again," Cammy said while giggling, pulling away from him. Walking off to the side I decided to give them some alone time. As I waited for her to finish talking to Mark, I couldn't help but notice his sexy ass cousin Kasan. I always thought he was fine as hell but he was completely off limits to me. I didn't know exactly what he did for a living but I knew it wasn't legal and I was not the chick that was gonna do a bid with a nigga for doing some dumb shit. I was the female that was gonna curse you out for putting yourself in that situation. I couldn't stand when females talked that ride or die shit, like what the fuck I’ll ride for you but I don't know about that dying shit. I met him a few years ago and he was just as fine and he had swag out of this world, but I just couldn't risk falling for him so I kept my distance. We said our hi’s and goodbyes and kept it pushing. Not only was he a whore just like his little cousin, he was off and on again with Cammy’s cousin Keisha, but I swear every time I saw him he had a different bitch. He changed them hoes like he changed his draws, fuck I look like falling victim to that shit. He almost got me last month but I stayed strong. I was on my lunch break at work and the new Jordan’s had just come out so instead of heading to the food court for lunch like I typically do, I went to foot locker to cop them. When I walked in, I wanted to turn right back around and walk the fuck out but if you knew me and my love for sneakers, you would know a bitch wasn't letting no nigga scare her away.

  “Yo let me get twelve pair of them Jordan’s,” he said cockily to the store worker.

  “Thank you Mr. Kasan!” the little boys said jumping around him giving him hugs and daps.

  “Will that be all?” the store worker said rubbing his arm. I couldn't stand a thirsty ass bitch.

  “Yeah that's all beautiful,” he said flirtatiously before she slid him her number.

  “Ugh!” I said not realizing that I had said it out loud causing him to look up.

  “Oh shit what’s up Ms. Shante!” he said with that sexy smile.

  “Nothing came to cop them jays but it looks like you done copped them all,” I said while waiting for another worker to take my size since the girl was occupied with Kasan’s big order.

  “And what you ugh for? What you mad that girl was flirting with your future nigga?”

  “Nigga you wish. You sure do have a lot of kids,” I said fucking with him. I didn't know much about him but I knew he didn't have any children.

  “You funny as hell but these my lil niggas I mentor at the boys and girls club on Westfield Ave,” he said shocking me.

  “I used to mentor there also but between work and school I'm too busy,” I said sadly.

  “You're beautiful,” he said out of nowhere.

  “Thank you Kasan,” I replied blushing.

  “Your sneakers are ready,” the girl said rolling her eyes at me. That little bitch better stay in her lane, don't nobody want that nigga. I knew I was trying to convince myself that I didn't want him but oh well don't judge me.

  “Well let me get out of here, I can get my stuff later,” I said walking out of the Footlocker. I know what y'all thinking so imma just say it. No, I didn't leaving because his ass, I was leaving because it was way too crowded and my break was almost over.

  “Aight then check you later beautiful,” he said and continued to flirt with the store worker. Later while at work, I found a big wrapped box with a note attached to it.

  What’s up Ms. Shante I didn't know which color you wanted so I said fuck it and got them all

  Your future xoxoxoxox

  When I opened it, there were four pairs of Jordan’s. I swear this nigga was smooth as hell and that's why I had to be careful when around him.

  “What’s up Ms. Shante,” he said with that sexy smile of his, interrupting my thoughts.

  “Hey Kasan how you been?” I asked while sitting on my stoop.
r />   “I been gettin this money feel me.”

  “I guess, well let me go get this girl before they start fighting,” I said with a smile.

  “Aight I’ll get up with you,” he said as I walked away.

  "Stop fucking playing for I beat that ass! Why you got these bags and shit what you got a date? You tryna get a nigga fucked up along with ya ass ain’t you!" Mark said while grabbing Cammy’s bags and looking through them. Yeah they definitely fucking again, I thought to myself.

  "We going to Palmers tonight and you wasting my time. I already told you drop them hoes then holla at me until then it ain’t ya business who I'm dating, fucking or sucking," Cammy sassed while grabbing my arm.

  “Come on Tae, this nigga making us late!” she said while walking into her house.

  "Yo I swear you ignorant as hell!" I said while laughing.

  "How? He was my first everything. I blessed that nigga with this good virgin wet wet all for him to fucking cheat on me. I’m good, I ain't got nothing for em!" she said acting tough as hell. But see that's my best friend so I know she still loves him, she's just hurt. I try not to push the issue and just give her time to heal and forgive him for what he did to her. I remember when we first found out he was cheating we cried for days, and yes I said we, hell I felt like he cheated on both of us. It broke my heart to see my best friend hurt like that, but Mark was moving up in the dope game, he had thots all over him and he made a stupid ass mistake. I think she's gonna take him back eventually but it's been two years already and she still ain’t budging but he still tries. She thinks I don't know that they still fucking heavy, I ain't even gonna say shit I'm just waiting for her to tell me. She pretends to be so tough but on the inside, she loves and misses him. I don't know if she thinks I’m gonna judge her, that's the only reason I can think of as to why she wouldn't tell me they started fucking again. I've never had real love so why would I judge her; shit if they got back together I would be happy for them.

  Chapter 3

  (Shante)

  "Girl I can’t wait to hit up Palmers, it’s about time I got you to go out,” Cammy said excited as hell.

  "Whatever. Well I got work tomorrow so we ain't stayin out all night," I said as I laid my clothes out.

  "Oh shit that outfit is everything girl," Cammy said as she lotioned her body up.

  I picked out a pair of acid wash high waist jeans from Ashley Stewart that made my ass look even bigger than it already was. A black off the shoulder shirt that made my breast look delectable and black wedges. I straightened my sandy brown hair bone straight with a part in the middle, put on my gold hoops and I was ready. After I got dressed, I had to admit I was one bad bitch, this outfit was definitely hot.

  "Damn bestie we definitely gonna shut the club down. You giving me life with that outfit bitch," Cammy said.

  "Girl me, look at you looking like somebody model.”

  "Yassssss bish yasss you know I gotta step out on point I might run into Mark and you know I gotta show him what he missing." Cammy had on a red half shirt that had bad bitch in black bold letters, black leather pants and red pumps. She definitely was on point. We got in the car and headed over the bridge, I hooked her iPod up to her car. As we headed for the city bumping the new August Alsina, every group of dudes we passed tried to get her to stop but we just kept it moving.

  “Ooooh play August Alsina!” Cammy said.

  "Bitch I love his sexy ass!" I said hyped and singing along.

  “Bye Felicia stop trying to steal my man,” she said laughing.

  "Girl bye you loved Trey Songz first so you a homie hopper!" I replied laughing.

  "Girl he so gritty that shit turns me on," Cammy said flip flopping.

  "I told her keep on sucking girl get all of this dick!" Cammy sang along. When we finally found parking, we walked inside and that shit was packed.

  "Bestie they playing our song!" I said and started doing my nae nae.

  "Ayeeee ayeeeee!" Cammy screamed and joined me. The nae nae had to be my favorite dance. I should have been came out; I get so caught up with school and work I forget to just have fun.

  "Bitch I’m thirsty!" I said to Cam once my song was over.

  "You the nae nae queen bitchhhh!" Cammy said laughing. When we got to the bar, we were trying to get the bartender's attention.

  "What the fuck we been standing here for ten minutes I know this bitch saw us!" Camille screamed.

  "Damn bitch chill it is crowded in here."

  "I guess, maybe you right but I could have sworn I saw her roll her eyes at me too," Cammy said tripping already.

  "Cammy please don't start acting crazy I'm not trying to be in this club fighting!"

  "Aight aight this your night bestie." See I loved how sassy my bestie was, but sometimes she could get crazy. She'll start some shit and have us out here fighting all because she thought a bitch tried her and I wasn't for that BS tonight.

  "Yo Trina let me get a bottle of Patron!" Kasan screamed to the bartender.

  "There go Kasan imma tell him to get our drink since bar bitch is busy," Cammy said, grabbing my arm and walking me up to Kasan’s sexy ass. I swear this man caused me to think the nastiest thoughts whenever I saw him.

  "Hey Kasan!" Cammy said.

  "Is that you Camille?" he said getting closer.

  "Yeah it’s me what you been up to?"

  "Maintaining, hustling and school same shit different day."

  "I feel you bro I missed you," Cammy said hugging him.

  "I miss you too seem like when you broke up with Mark you said fuck me too," he said looking hurt.

  "It’s not even like that I can't be around you without being around him and I just can’t do it," Cammy said honestly. I just stood off to the side while Cammy and Mark's cousin caught up.

  “You can't speak?” he asked stepping into my space, his cologne invading my nostrils.

  “I just saw you earlier Kasan and I spoke,” I replied laughing. We went back and forth whenever we saw each other; it was all just friendly flirting though.

  “When you gonna stop fucking playing?”

  “Ain't nobody playing Kasan,” I said while laughing. Niggas cracked me up. Here he was saying I’m playing when he actually has yet to approach me on some serious shit. This flirting shit don't mean nothing people flirt every day. Why not just ask a female out and see how far that gets you.

  "Here you go boo," the bar bitch said rolling her eyes at Cammy and giving Kasan his drink. Now I peeped the attitude and eye rolling. Damn she was so busy catching up with Kasan she didn't even get to ask him to get our drinks, I thought to myself.

  "Excuse me can I get a panty droppa?"I asked the bartender politely. She straight fucking ignored me and kept walking. I guess Cammy was definitely right, this bitch was really on some rude shit.

  "See what I tell you! You always acting like a bitch tripping and seeing shit I told you that ho had a problem with us," Cammy said shaking her head.

  "Yeah she got a nasty ass attitude, I bet I can teach that bitch some manners!" I said about to walk over to her.

  "Yo chill out I'll get y'all drinks. Damn y'all just go sit down in my VIP section, I'll be back and please try and stay out of trouble," Kasan said laughing and walked away.

  "That bitch look familiar," Cammy said.

  "Yeah she do but I can't put her face," I said thinking hard.

  "Oh shit our song is on let's go!" Cammy said grabbing my hand.

  So just pop a couple bands with a nigga like me,

  Loving ain't the same with a nigga like me,

  You use to them but ain't no loving me,

  I hear what you would say and, girl, it's clear to see,

  You should just drink a couple drinks with a nigga like me

  You probably go insane with a nigga like me.

  We were having fun dancing until somebody came up behind Cammy. She turned around and it was Mark. You couldn't tell me that they weren't meant to be all they needed to do was get their shit t
ogether and they would definitely be a power couple.

  "Why you always playing?" he asked while he grabbed her waist.

  "I’m not playing what you talking bout Mac!"

  "Oh so I’m Mac now Cammy?"

  "Mark don't you know I’m here to save you, me and them girls we ain't the same boo, you know I hate it when you leave me," Cammy sang in his ear.

  "Why the fuck you dancing on this bitch like you ain't come here for me Mac?" some thot asked.

  "Who you callin a bitch thot?" I asked stepping into the ho’s face. I’m glad I stayed close, I was actually thinking about leaving the dance floor when Mark walked up on Cammy, but I said fuck it and I’m glad I did.

  “Wasn't nobody talking to you, I’m talking to him!” she said nastily when the light shined on her face. I noticed she was the chick from the bar. I guess she knew who Cammy was that's why she was all in her feelings earlier.

  “Seriously Mark, you got these hoes feeling bold enough to confront me like I'm the fucking side chick?” Cammy asked hurt.

  “Yo you sound crazy as fuck! I been doing my best to get you back for two years and you been playing a nigga left, so what I'm supposed to do, wait for you? I fucked up Camille but I've apologized so now you can either forgive me and come home or leave me the fuck alone.”

  “So now you throwing out ultimatums?” she asked pissed.

  "You know what Cammy, I’m done trying. I love you but I ain't no nondescript ass nigga and I’m done begging!" Mark said walking away. As he walked away August Alsina’s “No Love” was still playing. Cammy swayed her hips to the beat and her eyes were glossy, I knew she wanted to cry.

  "You okay?" I asked concerned for my friend.

  "Yeah I’m good I’m not gonna let him ruin our night so let’s just go back to Kasan's table and turn the fuck up on their dime,” she said smiling.

  We sat in VIP with Mark and Kasan, a lot of other people were popping bottles and getting turnt up, so we said fuck it and joined in. It looked like Mark and Cammy had made up which I already knew they were gonna do. Everybody was enjoying themselves, even me. I accepted a few numbers and drinks and turned down a lot of dances, I just wasn't really big on the club thing. It was just too crowded and too many bitches and niggas got bold off that liquid courage. I would much rather be laying in bed reading. I loved urban fiction and had a shit load of books on my kindle. I was definitely ready to go. I was getting a little impatient waiting for Cammy to come back from whatever stall she was in with Mark. I kept texting and calling her but she wasn't answering.