If I Was Your Woman: A BBW Camden Love Story

by Mz. Toni

  Everything been going good between me and Cam but this bitch Angel been really fucking with me. She quit the club which was fine with me because I really couldn't be around that bitch without wanting to knock her the fuck out. She calls if she has the slightest craving I’m like bitch you got a car why can't you get it. Shit she only three months, my girl seven months, she's the one I need to be worried and concerned about. Whenever I tell her no I can't come she threatens to tell Shante and I knew Shante would tell my girl, so I was trying to do whatever I could to make this bitch happy. Today she texted me about a doctor's appointment but I had already promised Cam that I would spend the day with her, go shopping and take our pregnancy pictures. I can tell that she's getting suspicious and a little insecure, so it’s no way I could miss this day with her. I decided to call Angel and let her ass know that I had no intentions on going, not today at least.

  "Where are you Mac?" she snapped when she answered.

  "Yo I ain't coming to this appointment today."

  "What you mean you ain't coming, if I was Camille you would be there!" she screamed into the phone.

  "Yeah I would because that's wifey and I know for a fact that's my baby," I answered smartly.

  "Oh so you back on that bullshit again, I guess I gotta call Shante to take me," she said laughing.

  "I don't give a fuck what you do, I been being real nice to ya hoe ass but you really trying my fucking patience. You want to tell, go ahead and I'll holla at you when I get that DNA test!"

  “You planned on getting the test anyways Mac so you ain't saying shit, but I do apologize for snapping it must be my hormones."

  "I hope you dressed or imma leave ya ass," I said hanging up on her and rushing to grab her so I can be back in time for wifey.

  Chapter 22

  (Cammy)

  I stood pacing the floor waiting for Mark so we could go take our pregnancy pictures. Today was supposed to be our day but yet again, he was nowhere to be found. Shit was definitely starting to look fishy, but I had no proof so I could only believe what he told me. I called him for the fifth time only to be sent to voicemail yet again. I swear on my life if I find out he's back to his same old shit I'm gone for good. Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me and I was not about to be made a fool out of. I heard his keys hit the table and his cologne said hello before he even made it into the bedroom.

  "Where were you?" I said jumping up as quickly as this baby would let me.

  "Chill I had some meeting that ran late, but I'm here now so let's go."

  "Are you cheating on me again? Please just be real with me," I said crying.

  "Naw I ain't cheating you know I would never risk the chance of losing you and my family Cam," he said sincerely.

  "I'm sorry babe I just feel so insecure lately. This pregnancy is playing on my emotions and driving me crazy," I said kissing his sexy lips.

  "It’s cool baby it’s my fault I made you this way and I will spend forever proving to you that I've changed if that's what it takes," I replied hugging her tight. It was April and really nice so I decided to pack a long maternity maxi dress and a white tube top with a floral print skirt, these pictures were going to be beautiful. We took twelve pictures but my two favorite were of Mark kissing my bare stomach with the tube top on and the other was me making a heart around my stomach.

  "So what are we doing now?" I asked excited.

  "Well I have to go make a few runs, your feet are really swollen and you know when that happens the doctor says bed rest so don't get upset, just chill we have forever," he said kissing my forehead.

  "Alright Mark," I replied heated. He dropped me off at home and all I could do was cry I didn't want to believe he was doing me dirty again but it was shit like this that made me wonder. If it's all like that why couldn't he sit home and rub my feet since they are swollen partly because of his ass. I heard a knock at the door hoping it was Mark even though he had a key maybe he wanted to surprise me. I swung the door open only to be greeted by Shante.

  "Damn bitch you don't look happy to see me."

  "Girl it's Mark's ass, I swear he gonna make me slap the shit out of his sneaky ass!" I vented.

  "What's up?"

  "Honestly he doesn't even be home like he use to it's like he just sleeps here," I said crying again.

  "Maybe he's busy preparing for the baby."

  "Or maybe he's knee deep in some pussy!"

  "Come on now stop stressing my niece/nephew out, what I tell you about that."

  "You’re right imma stop stressing, I know Mark loves me and unless I got proof I'm not gonna treat him like he's guilty."

  "That's my girl but that nigga wrong for not being home like you ain't seven months pregnant so how about we go to the Cherry Hill Mall and put a dent in his black card," she said causing me to laugh.

  "I don't feel like it plus my feet are swollen," I whined.

  "Stop being a baby, let’s just shop a little and get some retail therapy."

  "Ok ok let’s go bitch," I said putting my shoes back on.

  When we got to the mall all eyes were on us, pregnant and all I knew I still looked good and Shante’s thick ass had all the niggas staring, I didn't know whether it was her beauty or her booty. We shopped for neutral things since we didn't want to know what we were having until I gave birth. We finally got tired and went to the food court to grab something to eat, after getting our food we sat down to eat.

  "Oh my God bitch I wish you’d just find out what you’re having!"

  "Nooooo we don't want to know we want to be surprised when I give birth," I said laughing.

  "Whatever bitch y'all irk but I'm planning a bomb ass baby shower for you."

  "Yeah I meant to ask you about that. I'm already seven months, when are you throwing it?" I said trying to get her to tell me something.

  "Uh huh bitch you tried it!" she said laughing.

  "Damn you a whole irk box," I said faking mad.

  "But on a serious note, I had something to tell you."

  "What's wrong?"

  "I'm late, my period hasn't come."

  "Wait you had sex on your bday in January, its April Shante."

  "Well I had a slip up last month," I said putting my head down embarrassingly.

  "Wait you fucked Kasan again?" she said a little too loud.

  "Girl why don't you shout it to the gods! Yes, I fucked him again. He came over without calling talking about he missed our friendship, he kept kissing me, ate a bitch cookie and banged my back out then hit me with the ‘oh I made a mistake’."

  "Bestie you being stupid, you letting this nigga throw you away and pick you up whenever he feel like it," I told her honestly. I swear she was really playing the fucking fool for a nigga that already got a bitch.

  "I know and it hurt like hell that's why I'm not gonna fall for the okie doke again. I love him but I can't let him keep hurting me now look at me knocked up."

  "Have you taken a test?"

  "Naw it's at home, I was waiting on you I don't think I can handle it on my own," she said sadly.

  "I got you boo but what are you gonna do if you are pregnant?"

  "I don't know but I'm gonna call him and see how he feels about it."

  "Have you talked to him?"

  "Nope not since that night I called him when I missed my period, he didn't answer."

  "Damn he on some bullshit, y'all was friends before anything," I said pissed at Kasan.

  "Yeah I ain't bringing a baby into this bullshit so my first thought is to just get an abortion. I got school and work and he already supposedly got a baby on the way, but imma let him know and maybe we can come to some kind of agreement."

  "Yeah just talk to him and I'm sure he'll fix this."

  "That's the thing, I don't want him to fix it because I'm pregnant so he can keep the baby mama he got, I don't want to be anybody's baby mama," she said honestly. We were talking and I happened to look over and I couldn't believe what I saw, it was my man eating with
a bitch and a child. I couldn't stop my blood from boiling, if looks could kill, he'd be dead.

  "What's wrong Cam, what you staring at?" Shante said looking in the direction of my death stare.

  "You see this shit Shante?"

  "Yes but calm down, you got my godchild in there don't overreact, we don't even know who that is with him."

  "I'm trying I swear I'm trying!" I said shaking.

  "Please calm down, let's just find out and please let me talk," Shante begged. We walked over to him and I cleared my throat. Looking up, he looked like a deer caught in headlights "Seriously Mark?" I asked with tears threatening to fall.

  "Angel?" Shante screamed.

  "And this bitch is pregnant too?" I said laughing.

  "Yeah I'm pregnant, he was trying to keep me and my baby a secret but I guess the cats out the bag!" Angel said smirking.

  "Bitch don't you say a motherfucking thing to me!" I said walking up to Angel.

  "Fuck you!" she yelled. I tried so hard to keep my composure but I couldn't. Reaching back, I punched her dead in the fucking face. While I'm swinging all face shots this bitch steady aiming for my stomach, I wasn't gonna let that bitch hurt my baby so I kicked her in the face. Shante grabbed Angel and I turned my attention to Mark's ass.

  "Babe I swear it’s not what you think!"

  "I fucking hate you nigga!" I screamed slapping him in the face.

  "You don't mean that," he said hugging me.

  "I do mean it you proved my mom and everybody else right, you the same old dirty dick Mac!" I said with hate and disappointment in my voice. "It’s crazy because you left your seven month pregnant girl at home to spend time with your pregnant thot, who does that?" I snapped walking away from his dumb ass to go check on Shante.

  "I don't give a fuck, you ain't gonna put ya hands on my sister!" Shante said stepping into Angel's face.

  "I'm your sister that bitch ain't your blood but I guess you forgot," Angel yelled.

  "Naw I ain't forget how you treated me back in the day or how you disrespected me when you came into my house, you don't like me and the feeling is mutual!"

  "Let's just leave!" I said grabbing Shante’s arm. This shit felt like déjà vu. I suddenly felt the same pain creep up that I felt two years ago, a pain that he promised me I would never feel again. I didn't want to fight anymore I just wanted to leave. If she is who he wanted then he officially belongs to her because I’m done.

  "Mind your fucking business bitch," Angel said.

  "Excuse me you guys are gonna have to leave the police have already been called," the security guard said politely.

  "Alright we're leaving," I said but not before punching the dog shit out of Angel’s grimy ass.

  "Bitch that's for aiming for my stomach stupid hoe," I said pissed off. Me and Shante rushed out of the store, I waited until we were in the car before I broke down crying.

  "It’s gonna be ok Cam he'll regret doing this shit and I promise you I had no clue," Shante said sadly.

  "That shit never even crossed my mind, you're my best friend, my sister, I don't have to question that," I said hugging her tight.

  "Are you coming to my house? You can stay for as long as you need to," she said sincerely.

  "Naw imma go home and pack his shit," I said while wiping my tears. I was officially done being the victim, if he wanted to run these streets he was now free to do so. I can't believe this nigga would do me so dirty, not only have I stood by his cheating ass when he didn't have a dime to his name, I forgave him for cheating on me after I gave him my virginity. I was now pregnant with his child, I just knew he would do better this time but fuck was I wrong. When I saw him at the food court even though I jumped bad I tried to tell myself over and over that Shante was right, he was sitting with one of his cousins or some shit, but deep down I knew he was on some foul shit. To walk over there and see it was Shante’s sister that shit was a hard blow to me. I didn't want him cheating at all but of all the bitches why her. As I walked around packing all of his shit, I turned on Pandora and Ciara's “I bet” came booming through our speakers. I stopped and cried my eyes out as the realness of her words seeped through my mind and heart.

  So I'm s'posed to believe that it's Fellini's Calling' your phone? I'm s'posed to believe that they're asking' you If you're home I wasn’t born yesterday, not me, can't get that Ova me, not me I luv you but I won't be a fool for you That is just something' that I wouldn't do, babe I mean I would stay if you could tell the truth But you can't, no matter how much time I ask

  I've been through so much with this man and he still couldn't be faithful or honest, I was done. I deserved so much better than what this nigga was doing. I chose him over my mom all for her to be right in the end. I heard the door slam and his feet pacing room to room. When he got to our bedroom he looked surprised, I guess he was expecting me to be gone.

  "So you're really doing this babe, you're leaving me?"

  "Not exactly Marcus," I said with a smile. I saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes but I was gonna bust his bubble in a minute.

  "I didn't cheat, I didn't lie and I'm not a dog that's all you nigga, so why would I leave?"

  "I promise I will make this up to you babe, thank you for forgiving me," he said sounding bout dumb as hell. What I look like taking him back after this shit, I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips.

  "Forgive you? Nigga are you stupid I'm not forgiving you. I'm done that hoe can have you!"

  "But you said you’re not leaving," he said looking confused.

  "Because I'm not, your ass is leaving. Your shit is already packed and waiting, leave your key on the coffee table please."

  "Yo you must be out your fucking mind if you think I'm leaving my spot, the one I bought and pay bills at; your name isn't even on the lease!"

  "Either you leave and I'll stay here and at least you'll know where I am or you stay and I'll go!" I screamed, going into our closet I started pulling out my clothes. I already knew he would see things my way because he knew I was serious and I would leave and wouldn't speak to or see his ass.

  "Alright Cammy you got that imma be at Kasan house until we get this shit situated," he said as he grabbed some of his things and left.

  "What about all your other shit Kasan?" I said with an attitude.

  "Naw I don't need that shit because I'll be home soon," he said arrogantly and walked out the door. Wow am I really his stepping stool. He didn't even bother to explain, he didn't even fight to stay, as much as I fought for our relationship. I had to fight my mom and other bitches to prove our love and he just gave up, I'm done with his ass. I curled up in my bed and cried more than I had ever cried before. When I woke up I felt like shit, I didn't even know when I finally let sleep take over me but I knew that was my last time crying over a man who didn't love me enough to be faithful and who didn't love me enough to respect our relationship. I got up, ran my bath water and made sure it was as hot as I could handle it. When I sat in the tub I was instantly relaxed. Hell, I didn't need to be stressing, I had a child to worry about now and my baby was more important than this bullshit with Mark.

  Chapter 23

  (Shante)

  As I stared at the positive pregnancy test I was shitting bricks, I would have never thought that I'd be a statistic. I worked so hard to do right now look at me I'm pregnant by a man that already has a girl who is pregnant. Grabbing my phone, I thought about texting Cam but thought against it, she has so much going on I didn't want to add my shit. The only thing she should be stressing about is her baby shower that I'm planning. Instead I did what I knew was right, I called Kasan and it went straight to voicemail over and over so I texted him telling him to hit me back ASAP. After texting him, I called Shana who of course answered on the first ring.

  "Hey Sister what's up?" she asked.

  "Nothing what my babies doing?"

  "Being bad, now come on, tell me what's wrong?"

  "I'm pregnant!" I blurted out.

  "Wow congrats!"
she said sounding skeptical.

  "I don't want a baby though Shana. I don't want to go to hell but I'm not ready to be a mom."

  "I say talk to the father and see where his head is at then make your decision. I'm not gonna tell you what I would do because it ain't about me, I'm just going to tell you that whatever you decide I support you," she said sincerely.

  "Thanks boo I love you."

  "I love you too.”

  As I lay in bed, I couldn't help but think about how I got to this place in my life. I swear I loved Kasan with all my heart so when I woke up to him standing at my door looking sexy as hell my mind was saying kick rocks but my heart was missing him something crazy.

  “What are you doing here Kasan?”

  “I came to see you, what I can't come in?” he said smiling. Moving to the side, I let him in. He was tipsy as hell and it was bad enough he drove here, I wasn't gonna let him leave. Walking into my room, I came back out with a pillow and a blanket and tossed it on the couch.

  “You can stay here until you sober up Kasan,” I said then turned and walked back to my room.

  It's been a couple weeks and I still haven't gotten in contact with Kasan that shit hurt like hell to have the man you love just cut all ties, we were friends before anything. Today was the day that I had my appointment for the abortion and I was petrified. I know I could have called Shana or Cami to go with me but lately they had both been dealing with so much so I decided to go on my own. When I walked in it was quiet and cold, I showed my ID, filled out some paper work and took a seat. As I looked around there were so many young girls I thought about turning and walking out so I called Kasan again and yet again, he didn't answer. Shortly after, I was called to the back. I paid the money and got blood work done, then I was taken to speak to some lady who asked me was I sure this was what I wanted and if I had any doubts I should just leave now. I assured her that my decision was made and went ahead and got the procedure. Because I drove myself, I had to stay awake during the abortion and it hurt like hell, I would never put myself in this situation again and that was a promise. They gave me my scripts and sent me on my way. Once in the car I said a prayer to my baby and asked God to forgive me. I’m sure there will be people that judge me for making my decision but no one could possibly hate me more than I hated myself right now. When I got home, I broke down crying. I knew that this was what I needed to do for me; this was something that I would have to live with for the rest of my life. I got in the shower and I felt a little better, I decided to text Camille to let her know that it was done.