Liminality: Gay Shifter Vampire Romance (Kingdom of Night Book 2)

by L. C. Davis

  Hunter gave him a wary sideways smile. “I might not be one of you fancy Lodge wolves, but I think I can handle a coffee maker,” he said stiffly, starting to climb the steps.

  “But I --”

  “Hey, Clarence, could I talk to you for a sec?” I pleaded, hoping to spare us all the inevitable train wreck.

  He turned to me, furious, but it gave Hunter a chance to escape, so it was worth it. “What?”

  “You asked if we could talk earlier,” I said, raising my hands. “No time like the present.”

  His shoulders relaxed as he remembered. “Oh. Yeah, sure.”

  “I need to check on Brendan and the others,” said Ulric. “Remus, you're to be accompanied by at least one wolf at all times until the alarm system contractors get here in the morning. Clarence, please take him to Victor once you're done.”

  “Got it,” said Clarence. Unlike Brendan and Hunter, Clarence harbored no desire to be my partner in crime. It was time for the confrontation that had been building ever since I moved into the Lodge.

  11

  As Ulric walked up the stairs, I returned my focus to Clarence. “Dude, you have to chill out.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “Considering all the chaos you've been causing, I'd say I've been pretty chill with you.”

  “Not me, Hunter. You're totally creeping him out.”

  My words clearly startled him. “What? Did he say that?” He slumped onto the couch and gave me a look that made me feel like I'd just kicked a puppy. A big puppy with scary, icy blue eyes who could fold me in half if he wanted to.

  “More or less,” I admitted. “He says you're being uber chivalrous with him and that combined with the creepy stalker stare I saw tonight is not making a really great first impression.”

  He groaned, running a hand over his carefully swept-back hair. “I didn't think it was that obvious.”

  “Well, it is. I know we don't get along, but honestly, I'm really disappointed in you,” I said, getting more irritated the more I thought about it. “I never imagined you'd treat someone like that, especially since you're so close to Clara.”

  “Wait, what?” His face was twisted into a confused grimace. “What're you talking about, and what the hell does any of this have to do with Clara?”

  I blinked at him. He couldn't be this oblivious. “Hunter thinks you're treating him like a girl.”

  “What? No, I'm not.” He looked even more confused. “Anyway, I don't treat women any differently than I treat men.”

  “You're opening doors for him,” I said.

  “I hold the door for everyone. Especially flower wolves or whatever they call you guys.”

  “Flower wolves?” I asked, vaguely remembering my conversation with Ulric. “You mean fleur?”

  “Yeah, wolves who can't shift until they're older,” he explained. “Girl or guy, if you're smaller and weaker than me I'm gonna get the damn door when you walk by. It's just our culture. Female verndari wolves would treat you the same way.”

  I gave him a blank look. “If I'm supposed to know what that means...”

  He rolled his eyes. “It means protector in the old language. Makes more sense to me than calling us original wolves, but it's the same thing. Some call us born wolves, it just depends on pack culture. We're the ones who can shift from birth while fleur wolves can usually only shift once you've been claimed by a mate.”

  “Oh,” I said. My righteous indignation was gradually deflating. “So you're only like that with Hunter because of the type of wolf he is?”

  “Why else?” he asked impatiently.

  “Uh, no good reason. I just thought—never mind.”

  “Look, I'm gonna make it real simple for you since everyone tells you all kinds of shit you've got no business knowing but none of the stuff you actually need to learn to fit in here. Wolf society isn't like human society with all your gender bullshit. For wolves, type matters above all else. Verndaris, male and female, are at the top in terms of authority, power and strength. We make the tough calls and when the pack is in danger, it's our lives that are on the line. “

  “Fleur wolves like you would have become and like Clara and Hunter already are get protected, taken care of and sheltered. You're doctors, caretakers, nurturers, advisers and mates. Those things are rare among our kind, so the rest of the pack is willing to sacrifice anything to keep you safe. When you go running off all half-cocked putting yourself in danger, all you're really doing is putting everyone else's neck on the line. We don't have a choice but to go after you, it's just in our blood.”

  “Oh.” His words sank in uncomfortably. “I did worse than just make Ulric and Victor worry tonight, didn't I?”

  “You humiliated them,” he said, confirming my fears. “Damn lucky this pack is more like a family than anything, because your behavior could easily be used to challenge Ulric's authority as alpha.”

  I cringed. “I guess that's what you wanted to talk to me about earlier.”

  “And if you'd listened, we could have avoided tonight's fiasco,” he said, never one to pull punches. “Then again, listening and obeying authority never were vampire traits.”

  “No, I guess not.” And here I had been planning to lecture Clarence on his sensitivity, but now I was the one getting a well-deserved lecture. “Since you hate me, you're probably the only person I can trust to tell me the truth. I'm destroying this pack, aren't I?”

  He frowned. “First of all, I don't hate you. I'm just one of the only members of this pack who doesn't have a familial attachment to you or want to bone you,” he said unceremoniously. “I'd still lay down my life for you without a thought if it came down to it. Second, you're not destroying the pack. If all it took was a shrimpy little vampire to do that, we were fucked anyway.”

  “I certainly haven't improved it.”

  “No, but not for the reasons you think. I don't give a shit about you being a vampire.”

  “You don't?”

  “No. I don't mind babysitting you to make sure you don't binge on the guests, and I wouldn't even care if you slipped up every now and then,” he admitted. “What I care about is the fact that Ulric, Victor and Sebastian have all put themselves on the line to keep you safe and you don't even respect their sacrifices by trusting their judgment.”

  His words hurt, but it was the sting of truth. I had asked for brutal honesty from the moment I agreed to a conversation with Clarence, after all. “I guess I needed to hear that.”

  “You can hear it all day long. I'll be impressed when you start acting like you get it,” he said. “If you're going to be the alpha's mate, the rest of the pack is going to look up to you. How can we follow Victor and trust him with our lives if his own mate doesn't?”

  Another blow. “So what, to be a good, submissive mate I have to blindly accept his judgment in everything without question?”

  “If you've been here all this time and you still think that's what it means to be a sub, maybe Vic has lost his touch,” he said dryly. “This isn't about the dungeon, it's about the pack. Victor has been chosen to lead and soon the pack will choose to accept him. A mate is there to provide support and counsel to the alpha, not to be a mindless drone. That's why it's taken so seriously when one of you disobeys. It's assumed that the alpha must be either weak or cruel to warrant insubordination from his own mate. Sometimes it even results in an alpha being overthrown completely or causes a pack war.”

  “So yes,” he continued. “If you keep acting this way after Victor steps up as alpha, especially when what we need most in such a chaotic time is stability and guidance, I think you'll destroy the pack. But I think you also have the potential to save it.”

  I looked up doubtfully. “How?”

  “By leading through example. By being there for the pack, listening to them and giving them advice. Do you even know what varg modir means?”

  I shook my head and he sighed. “It's a rough translation from the old language. It means wolf mother. Someone who guides the pack and keep
s the peace. He or she leads by example through submission to the alpha.”

  “I'm a vampire,” I murmured. “What kind of guidance could I possibly have to offer a house full of wolves, especially when most of you are older than me?”

  “Vampire or not, you're obviously willing to sacrifice yourself for the people you love,” he said. “That's a wolf trait if ever there was one. You don't have to go off on your own and risk your life to contribute to the pack. Sometimes the most important sacrifices are the smallest and the quietest.”

  “Sounds like Clara would be a better fit for the job,” I sighed.

  “An alpha needs someone who challenges him, not someone who sees the world in the exact same way he does.”

  “I guess so. Thanks for the honesty, Clarence. I can't say it was easy to hear, but you've given me a lot to think about.”

  “Any time,” he said, standing. “Let's get you back to Victor.”

  “Are you going to go find Hunter?” I asked warily, following him up the stairs.

  “To apologize? Yes. I didn't mean to come on so strong.”

  “You really like him that much after such a short time?” I asked.

  He glanced back at me with an incredulous look. “You of all people really have to ask that question?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Okay, fair enough. It's just, uh, I've seen a lot of stuff happen in the past twenty-four hours. Do you think he's your mate?”

  “I don't know,” he admitted. “After what Brendan told me, it seems to be going around. I keep telling myself it's not possible, but tonight when I realized he'd gone out with you... I've never felt fear like that in my life and I've been on the wrong end of a gun loaded with silver bullets enough times.”

  “Why isn't it possible?”

  He hesitated and seemed to be debating whether he wanted to tell me or not. “During my initiation I did have a vision but I chose not to tell anyone because I didn't like what I saw.”

  “What was it?” I asked once I realized he wasn't going to volunteer the information. “I won't tell anyone. Not even Victor.”

  “Let's just say it wasn't Hunter,” he said gruffly.

  “You're sure?” I asked.

  “Positive.” He knocked loudly on the door to Victor's new office and I swallowed hard as we both waited for a reply from the other side.

  “Come in,” he said. His voice was surprisingly calm. Knowing Victor, that wasn't a good thing.

  Clarence pushed the door open and gave me a nudge. “Time to face your fate, Red.”

  I'd take Red over Kid or Drac any day.

  “Wait,” I called after him. His hand was already resting on the railing that led up to the third floor. He stopped and gave me an impatient look.

  “Yeah?”

  “Wh --” I hesitated, unsure of whether it was a wise question to ask. “Why didn't you tell anyone about the vision?”

  His shoulders fell as he said, “Because I saw a girl.” Without waiting for a response, he turned and headed up the stairs.

  12

  “Close the door and have a seat,” said Victor. I did as he said, taking the only seat available in front of his desk.

  “Victor, I'm so sor --”

  He held his hand up to silence me. “I don't blame you, I blame myself. My love for you has made me complacent and oblivious to your more self-destructive tendencies. I acted carelessly tonight in assuming that you would choose to obey me rather than go after your friend. In the future, I won't be so careless or so lenient.”

  I listened quietly as he spoke, unable to look him in the eye. He seemed to pause in expectation of an interruption that wasn't going to happen. “Ulric has called to have alarms installed around the entire perimeter of the Lodge. Even if I'm not here, someone will be close enough to grab you if you manage to slip out. The code will change randomly throughout the day, so even if you compel someone to give it to you, it won't remain the same for long. When you're not being escorted directly by myself or Ulric, you will wear handcuffs. You're to be escorted by a member of the pack at all times.”

  He paused again, and I could feel him watching me. “No response? No defense?”

  “No, Sir,” I murmured.

  “Sir?” He came around to lean on the other side of his desk. “Since when do you call me that outside of the dungeon?”

  “Since I realized how much trouble and embarrassment I've been causing you and Ulric,” I said quietly.

  “Who told you that, hm?” he asked, tilting my chin up towards him. “Have you been talking to Clarence?”

  “It's true. I'm nothing like a modir wolf or whatever should be. I'm always defying you and Ulric, I'm not someone the pack can depend on.”

  He sighed, crouching in front of me to be at eye level. He cupped my face in his hands and squeezed gently. “Listen to me. You drive me absolutely out of my mind and test the very outer limits of my patience, but I didn't fall in love with a varg modir and you didn't fall in love with an alpha. As this all unfolds, we're both going to have to adjust and adapt ourselves to be what's best for the pack. That takes time and we'll figure it out together. You think I'm ready to be alpha right now?”

  I nodded.

  “Remus, I've wanted this position ever since I came here as a child, but I never thought I'd actually get it. It was always supposed to be Sebastian. I'm just making it up as I go and praying to the various gods I don't believe in that no one catches on to the fact that I have no fucking idea what I'm doing.” He whispered the last bit, his voice trembling with laughter.

  I laughed, too. I was still shaken by the news of Arthur's betrayal, but his laughter was contagious, no matter how slight it was. “Really? I can't tell. You always seem like you have it all together.”

  “I'm the brooding, flaky brother who runs off when things get rough, remember?” He kissed me softly. “That all got turned on its head the night you walked through those doors, and now Sebastian is gone. Now I can't even keep track of a single vampire I'm psychically linked to and I somehow have to figure out how to stop an entire clan of hunters?”

  “That is pretty bad,” I admitted, struggling to keep more laughter at bay.

  “Yeah well, you're no help,” he said, tickling my sides.

  “Hey,” I squealed, leaning away from him. “I'm cuffed, that's no fair!”

  “No one ever said life was fair,” he said, stopping a moment later. “There. I missed that laugh. Haven't heard it nearly enough lately.”

  “I missed yours too,” I admitted, shaking my head. “What are we going to do? Victor, Arthur is a hunter and he always has been. Our Hunter found all these books filled with pictures of werewolves being slain and another book dating back to the Salem trials. He was using me before I even set foot on campus and I was out in the middle of the night trying to save him.”

  Victor winced. “I'm sorry, Remus. I can' t imagine what that kind of betrayal must feel like, but it's better that you found out now rather than after we took him in.”

  “He could have killed everyone,” I murmured. The realization made me dizzy. It was an old, familiar feeling I could have done without.

  “I doubt it,” said Victor. “He's been here plenty of times since your awakening as a vampire and you never mentioned him smelling of sunlight. If he hasn't “woken up,” as they say, he's not any more physically threatening than a human. Of course, I'm sure he gave the hunters intel we don't need them to have.”

  “I still can't believe I was so stupid. How am I supposed to provide guidance to the pack when I can't even tell that someone so close is just using me?”

  “The closer someone is, the harder it is to see their betrayal coming,” he murmured. A look of guilt flickered in his eyes, but he suppressed it almost immediately. Sometimes Victor seemed like the more vampiric one out of the two of us. “You shouldn't have gone out tonight, but it wasn't wrong to want to save Arthur. It's never wrong to want the people you love close and safe. This pack will be lucky to have a modir who wou
ld do the same for any one of them. Just next time, leave the actual heroics to the rest of us, hm?”

  “I will,” I promised. And I meant it this time. “I do have a potential alternative to cuffs and babysitters.”

  He gave me a skeptical look. “You know I can't just take your word after everything that happened tonight.”

  “Of course not. But it's a huge inconvenience for everyone who gets stuck watching me,” I said, sighing. “That's why I think you should put me under mind control so I can't leave the Lodge.”

  I couldn't tell if the look of surprise on his face meant that it was a good idea or a terrible one. “You're volunteering for mind control? You worked so hard to get your mind back, and now you want to subject it to that again?”

  “It's the best option for everyone.” Everyone except me. “The pack needs your full attention right now, and you won't be able to give it to them if you're worrying about me. Anyway, it's not the same thing if you're the one doing it.”

  He gave me a gentle smile. “Enough time has passed since Sarah removed the matrix. It would be safe, if you're truly willing.”

  “I am,” I said confidently. “As soon as you're ready.”

  “It's hard to alter the mind of another psychic,” he said. “It would be easier if I could lower your mental defenses first.”

  “You sound like you have something in mind already.”

  There was a twinkle in his dark eyes. “Always.”

  ~

  “Are you sure, pup?”

  It was the first time Victor had posed any question seeking my opinion in his dungeon room.

  “Yes, Master.”

  “Sign it, then.”

  He placed a silver pen in my hand and I signed the document with a flourish. It was much smaller than our original contract, mostly because the list of exclusions and conditions was gone. This document was far more basic with a simple declaration that I, as the submissive, was entrusting my wellbeing and all decisions regarding it to Victor, my master.