by L. C. Davis
“Pretty much,” he said, arranging the white cartons on the table. “You're gonna have to start eating again now that you're back to normal.”
“I was never normal,” I reminded him. “I'm not really even the same as I was before. This hybrid stuff is new, I've only ever been a sort-of wolf or a full-blooded vampire.
“Well, you're more wolf than you've ever been either way,” he said, handing me a pair of chopsticks.
I took a sip of soda so I wouldn't have to reply. My wolf had been out for only a few days and already it had created quite a mess for us. I feared that all it had done was lead Sebastian on, which would make it even harder to repair the broken bond between he and Victor. That had become my top priority after seeing them together in the dungeon. They still needed each other desperately, even if they didn't want to admit it.
“Not that much has changed, Sebastian,” I said carefully.
“Sure it has. You're a lot different.”
“How?” I asked, wondering if he could sense my conflicted feelings. If they were obvious to him, then surely Victor had noticed.
“Your scent, for one thing,” he replied matter-of-factly.
My face grew warm. I hadn't been expecting him to say that, of all things. “Excuse me?”
“Yeah, you smell like a wolf now.”
“Thanks. That's just what every guy wants to hear, Sebastian.”
He shrugged. “Beats the vampire scent, that's for sure. Not that yours was bad.”
I rolled my eyes. “It's okay, I'm well aware of your aversion to all things fangy.”
“Not all,” he said, giving me a pointed look before chowing down on an entire skewer of sauteed beef.
“I'm starting to be able to pick up on scents,” I said, surprised by how enjoyable the cheap food was. Especially the spring rolls. None of it was vegetarian, but I found myself craving things I had never had a taste for.
“I'm not surprised. The harvest moon is getting closer. We'll have to start working on your transformation soon,” he said, popping the top off a beer before offering it to me.
“Thanks. You really think I can transform before the harvest moon?”
“I don't know about all the hybrid stuff,” he said. “You flower wolves are supposed to be able to, though. You die if you can't hack it by the time your first—er, in your case, second—harvest moon passes, so it's smart to start ahead of time. Good thing I'm here for that.”
“Victor can take care of it.”
He gave me a look. “You really want my brother to be the one to teach you how to shift when he needs help getting out of his beastform?”
I winced. “You had trouble the other day.”
“That's different.”
“How?”
“Shifting in and out is no problem for me, but the bite set me off,” he said, confirming what I had feared.
“I'm sorry I upset you,” I murmured. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“You didn't, not really. It just brought my beast to the surface enough to recognize yours, that's all. There's nothing in this universe that can keep a wolf away from his mate.”
“Oh,” I said quietly. Time for a change of subject. “Why does Victor have such a hard time with that stuff, anyway?”
He shrugged. “No idea. He's been that way since we were kids. I guess when you've got a crazy genius brain that's capable of anything, your own head is what trips you up the most.”
“Yeah,” I murmured. “I guess so.”
“Anyway, the fact that you're starting to pick up on scents besides blood is a good thing,” he said, already on his second plate. “It means you're on schedule with transformation. Not that I'm taking any chances this time.
“There was no way you could have known you would mark me, Sebastian.” I could see that now with some distance.
“Don't make excuses for me. I was a dumbass,” he muttered. “Satisfy my curiosity, though. What do the others smell like to you?”
“What?” I laughed nervously. “That's so awkward, I can't talk about that.”
“You're a wolf now,” he said. “Part wolf, anyway. It's not awkward. Besides, it'll help me gauge how developed your sense of smell has become.
I sighed. “Fine. Who first?”
He thought for a moment. “Clara.”
“Clara smells like flowers,” I said. “Specifically roses.”
“That's one,” he grinned. “Now go through the other wolves.”
I leaned back and tried to remember. “Brendan smells like woodsmoke, and so does his blood. Clarence has a strong scent I can't really place, some kind of spice. It's pleasant but dark. Hunter smells like the beach and Foster smells like honey,” I said, laughing a little. “As far as Ulric goes, I don't know. He just smells... Okay, this sounds really stupid, but he smells like comfort. Like everything is going to be okay.”
“It's not stupid,” he said, smiling a bit. “Ulric's your father. Wolves always have a special scent to their kids. To everyone else he just smells like cigars and trees,” he said with a laugh. “What about me and Vic?”
I hesitated. “Victor smells like a really nice wine. Same as his blood, really.”
“Mhm.”
“You smell like the forest. Our forest, specifically.”
He smiled at me. I expected some snide remark, but he didn't say anything.
“What?” I asked warily. “What's so funny?”
“Nothing,” he said, taking a swig of beer. “It's just that wolves tend to smell like the thing or the place they love most. You were spot on with all of them.”
“Oh,” I said, breathing a sigh of relief. “Well, that's good, I guess.”
“It is. You wanna know what your scent is?”
I glanced up at him warily. “I'm not sure if I do.”
He laughed. “It's nice, don't worry. In fact, it's the most beautiful scent I've ever come across. He leaned back to drape an arm around the couch behind me. I made a conscious effort not to lean back. “Then again, I'm biased.”
“Very,” I agreed.
“You smell like the air after a good hard rain, when the earth is clean and the grass and the flowers are all still soaked. It's pure and soft and crisp all at the same time,” he murmured, staring off into space. “It's the kind of scent you can never get enough of. I've always thought if that was the way all blood smelled to vampires, I could kind of understand why they're the way they are.”
“Sebastian...”
He leaned in a little closer and, to my deep shame, I didn't move away. “It's the truth,” he said, stroking my hair. “It's not just your scent, it's everything. It's the way you move, the way your voice is always just a little bit hoarse like you're just getting over a cold, the way your left eyebrow twitches whenever I say something that pisses you off. Everything about you just draws me in,” he said, his lips hovering so close to mine I could almost feel them.
Something about the light friction before contact brought me to my senses and I took a blind leap away from temptation. Unfortunately, that led me to fall over the arm of the couch and land hard on my ass.
Sebastian leaned over the couch and stared at me in confusion. “What was that?”
“I'm sorry,” I muttered, letting him help me to my feet. “That was something that can't happen again.”
“Nothing happened,” he said. “Unless you're talking about the kiss that almost happened, before you torpedoed yourself off the couch.”
“That's just it. That, this, can't happen,” I said, gesturing between us. “I thought I could give this a try, since it's what Victor wants, but I can't. This just doesn't feel right.”
He frowned, watching me. “You're lying. You didn't freak out because that kiss felt wrong, you freaked out because it felt right.”
“Almost-kiss,” I reminded him.
“Why are you so afraid to admit that you still have feelings for me?” he asked with a dry laugh.
“How can I be afraid to admit something tha
t isn't even true?” I demanded. “I'm not in love with you anymore, Sebastian. I told you, I love you as a brother and that's it.”
“If that was true then this would be a hell of a lot easier on both of us,” he growled. “If you didn't still love me you wouldn't be this defensive, and you know it. So does Victor. My brother and I might not see eye-to-eye on a whole lot, but if there's one thing we can agree on it's that we both want what's best for you. When I really thought you didn't love me, I backed off. I left.”
He ran a hand through his hair and took a moment to cool down. “Seeing you two together hurt, but if you were really happy with him, I wasn't about to stand in your way. You were so adamant about not loving me that I started to believe it. Then the dreams started.”
I frowned. “Dreams?”
He watched me with narrowed eyes, like he was trying to read something on my face. “You don't remember, do you?”
“I remember the dream we shared, when I told you about the ritual, but that's it.”
He sighed. “That was the last one, but there were more. They started the night I left. At first it was just a wolf howling, the most mournful sound I've ever heard, but I'd always wake up before I could get to it. Then I'd catch a glimpse of it and each night I'd get closer to catching it. I could tell it didn't want to run from me, but it couldn't stop,” he said, his brows knitting in distress.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “What did the wolf look like?”
“Small,” he murmured. “It had light fur in a really strange color, almost like it had been stained with --”
“Strawberries,” we said at the same time.
So my alter-ego had been moonlighting on me.
“Sebastian, maybe I did call to you in those dreams, but it wasn't really me, it was my wolf.”
“Am I supposed to pretend like there's a difference?” he challenged.
“There is.”
“Then how did you know I wouldn't hurt you?” he demanded. “In the dungeon, when Victor and I both thought I'd kill you if I shifted, you knew the truth. How?”
I gulped. “That's different.”
“It's always different when it's you,” he scoffed.
“I'm glad you find this funny,” I muttered, stalking towards the door.
He held it shut and spun me around so I was forced to look at him. As he loomed over me, all the playfulness in his demeanor was gone. “If I couldn't find the humor in a bad situation, I'd have offed myself a long time ago. You're not the only one who understands pain, you know.”
“Sebastian, I --”
His gaze silenced me. “You need to understand one thing about me, Remus. If there's anybody in this world I love as much as you, it's Victor. Sure, we hate each other at times. You've seen for yourself that I don't always trust him, but I'd trade my life for his in a split second and there's not a doubt in my mind that he'd do the same for me. As much as I want you to be my mate, if I thought this was all as easy as letting him win, I'd do it to spare him the pain of losing you.”
He paused and took a deep breath. “The truth is, Victor is the better man and he deserves you more than I do, especially after everything I've put you both through. Thing is though, the heart doesn't always make the logical choice. Maybe part of your soul still belongs to Victor, but the other half knows it belongs to me and it's taking all I've got not to give in and claim you like it wants me to.”
I stared at him for a long moment, processing his words. “Sebastian, I don't know what to say.”
He stepped away from the door and held it open for me. “You should go say hello.”
“What?” I asked. My confusion lasted only a few seconds before the front door swung open and Victor stood on the other side of it.
“Victor!” I cried, running to meet him. He caught me in his arms and held me tight. It was the closest I'd been to him since I had been roped into their courting charade.
“Hey, pup,” he whispered into my ear, giving me a tight squeeze before he put me down. “I haven't been gone all that long.”
“You're home early,” I said, thrilled. The realization that his arrival could only mean very good or very bad news only slightly tempered my excitement.
“It's good news,” he said, as if reading my thoughts. Knowing Victor, he probably was. He shuffled into the foyer, exhausted. “Where's Sebastian?”
“Right here,” he said, wandering into the room.
Victor sniffed the air and grimaced. “You both smell like bad Chinese food.”
“We smell like delicious Chinese food,” Sebastian corrected him, flopping down in one of the big overstuffed leather chairs by the fireplace.
“How romantic,” Victor said dryly.
“Hey, he can't leave the Lodge. We're kind of limited on date options.”
Listening to them discuss my pseudo-relationship with Sebastian was just a little too bizarre for my liking.
“Well, that's about to change,” said Victor. “Malcolm confirmed what Ulric and I have been suspecting for weeks. The hunters have moved on, for now.”
“What?” Sebastian sat forward, listening intently. “How do you know?”
“Because there has been a string of killings in Europe. London, Milan and Prague. One wolf pack and two vampire clans were wiped out.”
“They've moved on to Europe after hitting only a couple of packs here?” Sebastian asked, echoing my disbelief.
“It's not their style judging from the records and what Ulric remembers about them,” said Victor. “They're usually more systematic. It seems like they're settling old vendettas and then moving on to the next area. I'm sure we'll be hearing from them eventually but, for the time being, the northwest is safe. It's possible they found out about the enchantment Hunter put on the Lodge and decided to move on to easier targets.”
“I don't know, man,” said Sebastian, shaking his head. “Seems like a big risk to take.”
“I agree,” he said. “Which is why I followed the Arthur lead. As soon as we learned what he was, I traced his information from the records we had on file with the Lodge. I've been keeping tabs on his family, Prentice and all of their known associates since then. Last month, Prentice took a leave of absence from the university to travel abroad. Just this week, Arthur's mother took one from her position with the Chamber of Commerce, his father left his law firm and Arthur himself quit school, all within a few days of each other.”
“Talk about getting the fuck out of Dodge,” Sebastian murmured.
“Wait, so they're gone?” I asked hopefully.
“Not permanently,” said Victor, “but I've already talked to Ulric. He's lifting the restriction on not letting anyone leave the Lodge. Everyone, with the obvious exception of Maverick, is free to leave in pairs.”
“Why not Maverick?” I asked.
“He's doing better, but he's still in a fragile state,” said Victor. “We are technically holding him against his will and short of mind control, there's no way I can be sure that he won't spill our secrets if he's allowed to leave. It is an option I intend to present him with later.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “I think he'll say yes. If anyone needs to get out, it's him.”
“And you,” said Victor. “You've been cooped up longer than anyone. Getting out of the house will be good for you.”
“Really?” I asked, stepping closer.
“Of course. I'm sure even Sebastian can manage to come up with a more enjoyable date than takeout in the lounge.”
My heart sank when I realized this was just him trying to set me up with his brother again. “I thought you meant we were going out.”
“It's still his night,” said Victor. “My coming home early doesn't change that.”
“Hey man, if you want to take him out --”
“No,” Victor said, holding up a hand to quiet him. “I wouldn't have the time tonight anyway. Ulric and I still have a lot of strategy to discuss, and I'm going to need to send you out on a mission soon. You should e
njoy the evening together.”
Sebastian shrugged. “Whatever you say, brother. Remus, how about eight? That'll give me some time to plan things.”
“Sure,” I said, trying to muster a small bit of enthusiasm. He stood to leave and I waited eagerly for the chance to get at least a few minutes alone with Victor.
“Sebastian, can I see you in my study if you have a few minutes?” he asked, dashing that hope.
Sebastian looked between us, seeming just as confused as I was. “Sure,” he said, following Victor up the stairs.
At least I had inadvertently gotten what I wanted. Victor and Sebastian were spending more time together than ever since their “contest” had started.
“I'm no expert in the art of wooing,” said Hunter, sauntering down the stairs. He showed no signs of all that he had gone through during the ritual. “But shouldn't the wooers be running off with you, not each other?”
“Lately I'm the last person Victor wants to be around,” I admitted. “At least they're bonding.”
“Yeah, I hardly see them apart anymore,” he snorted. “They're taking bromance to a whole new level.”
I laughed. “So where's your shadow?”
“He's working,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Thank God. The lost puppy thing gets old after awhile.”
Something in the way he said it made me not believe him. “Shouldn't you be thanking the goddess now?” I teased. “You are a priest, you know.”
“Yeah, still trying to figure a way out of that one,” he said. “I'm into the rituals and stuff, not the religion. I'm more of a free operator, but don't tell Foster,” he said, glancing over his shoulder like the boy might appear out of thin air.
“He does seem to be taking your uh, calling a bit hard,” I admitted.
“That makes two of us,” he said with a snort, motioning for me to follow him towards the gym. “I've been hitting the books all day and all night, I'm gonna go crazy if I don't at least get a workout in.”
I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and tossed it to him as he headed over to the weight rack. “Well, I may have good news if you can keep a secret.”
He caught the bottle and watched me in curiosity. “Always.”
