Unbidden Love (Book Five of the Bidden Series)

by Cierlak, Crystal

  Of course James would take Audra’s sudden absence as an opportunity to try to get into her head. Why could he not just leave it all behind them in California? Why did he have to tell her he was still in love with her? Didn’t he know what that would do to her? Didn’t he care?

  Or was that the point?

  She downed the martini and ordered a second, taking full advantage of the bartender’s hospitality.

  “Miss Harlow,” the bartender said as he placed another martini in front of her.

  How did he… A shuffling movement to her left broke her concentration, and when she looked to find the cause of the disruption, she found herself looking into a familiar pair of blue-green eyes framed by thick eyelashes.

  She was not prepared for the rising swell of emotion that filled her insides. She had not noticed before the stubble that was growing from his jaw, chin, and above his lip. Just the way he looked at her - like she was the only living thing of beauty left in the world - was disarming.

  “You don’t have to sit at the bar. They will open the rope for you in the lounge,” he said, nodding his head in the direction of the sectioned-off VIP area. “Your drinks, everything. It is all comped. You did not even need to mention Audra’s name to book the Garden Suite.”

  “Are you telling me this to impress me with your wealth?” she asked incredulously. If he was, he was about a year too late.

  “It’s a perk of your contract with Fitson,” he answered. “Not that I would not give you anything you wanted,” he added with a disarming smile. A smile she was as equally unprepared for as his presence. She felt like she was being hit with a shockwave, or perhaps it was the cumulative effects of the alcohol she had been consuming since going out for an early dinner with Audra. Was that really only a few hours ago? It felt like another day entirely.

  Something was different. Something had shifted within her. The fact that he had confessed his true feelings for her, perhaps? Or that in combination with her own unsettled feelings for him?

  And then she was struck with a sudden realization: Shit. I am in trouble.

  Natalie calmly collected her drink in one hand, and with her other reached into the band of the stocking on her right leg and pulled out one of the bills that had been slipped in earlier that evening. She checked the denomination - a cool Benjamin - and slid it in the direction of the bartender, who winked and smiled at her again. Drink in hand, Natalie tore herself away from the bar and walked around the perimeter of the dance floor, heading straight to the roped off VIP area. As promised, she was let in without question, and escorted by a waiting Eve up a short flight of stairs to a secluded balcony overlooking the club.

  “You can order anything from the tablet on the table there,” her escort informed her with a nudge of her head towards a table already stocked with bottle service on a silver tray. “Anything,” the woman reiterated, her deep brown eyes reflecting the fiery light of the space around them. “Mister Fitzgerald,” she cooed as she exited the private area. Natalie turned at his name and found James leaning against the wall, a drink in hand. With the low lighting emanating from black lacquered sconces against the red-blood wall, James looked like the ultimate predator. Her heartbeat quickened.

  “It’s for people who like to watch,” he said. She noticed he didn’t have to speak so loudly there, and while still loud, the music wasn’t so overpowering.

  “I beg your pardon?” She was not sure she had heard him correctly.

  James pointed with his drink in the direction of the dance floor. “From up here you can see everything, but no one can see you. See those glass panels?” He pointed in the direction of the balcony, and after some squinting she saw what he was referring to. They were next to impossible to see from her current angle. “They have a coating on the outside that obfuscates the view inside. The staff jokingly refer to this room as The Champagne Room.”

  “Classy. Does that mean people have had sex in here?”

  “Maybe. But there isn’t any bidding involved if that was your next question,” he answered in clipped tones. He crossed the private room and joined her at the edge of the balcony, overlooking the lavish club space sprawled out at their feet.

  “Is that why I was led up here?” Her heartbeat tripled in anticipation of his answer.

  His eyes narrowed at the question. “No. This just happens to be the best spot in the entire club. Last month a member of the royal family booked the entire lounge for his guests. He hardly ever left this balcony.”

  A breath of laughter escaped Natalie before she took another healthy sip of her martini. “Am I supposed to be impressed that I am standing in the same room royalty once stood in?”

  James shook his head. “No. It wouldn’t be the first time.”

  Her eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. No way! “Seriously? At The Golden Palm?” She made a silent promise to herself to go through the private roster of clients at her next available opportunity.

  James leaned in to her ear and whispered, “He is officially listed as Ken Sington.”

  “Him!?” Natalie practically shouted. She glanced around to make sure no one had heard her before realizing that no one likely could from where they were ensconced above the club. “Last month fits. He placed a winning bid on Quinn. Damn.” She recalled Quinn regaling her with the story of the good looking Brit who had the stamina of a horse. Among other shared traits. She tried to remember what else Quinn had said about him - there had been so many stories, as she often got the best bidders - but was distracted by the heat of James’ eyes on her.

  “Do you want to dance?” he asked, still within whispering distance of her ear.

  Natalie wet her lips to buy herself some time before declining, but the word never quite formed on her tongue. It was only in that moment that she realized she had been lulled into the safest sense of security with him. But though the talk of promises made and broken had been left upstairs in the Garden Suite, the one thing that remained was the magnetic pull she felt towards him. That never went away.

  Rather than wait for her answer, James took both their drinks, set them down on the table, and slid his palms across her hips, pulling her close to his body. She allowed herself to be pulled into his closeness, and following his cue, let her body slowly sway with the music, never fully committing to the movements. He must have sensed that she had no idea what to do with her hands, so he took them and wrapped them around his neck, bringing her ever closer into his embrace.

  “So just out of curiosity, who did you determine to be the better kisser? Me or Audra?”

  Amazingly, the question pushed the corners of her lips up into something almost resembling a smile. She clasped her hands together behind his neck, brushing against his honey colored hair as she did.

  “Well just out of my own curiosity, who do you think is the better kisser? Me or Audra?”

  He smiled, revealing a set of perfectly straight, white teeth that practically glowed under the mood lighting. “I asked you first.”

  “Do you really think I am going to answer that now?”

  James joined his hands and rested them at the small of her back, just above her backside. They were coming closer together by inches now, so close she could feel the warmth radiating off his body.

  “What I think is that if your answer is Audra you would tell me, if only to discourage what is happening between us right now.”

  Natalie let her hands unclasp and fall to her side as she stepped out of his embrace, feeling the loss of him almost immediately.

  “I want you to admit it to my face, Natalie,” James called out as she moved to the far side of the room, as opposite as she could from him.

  “Fine!” There was no point in trying to move past the matter. James would find a way to get it out of her sooner or later. “You are the better kisser, James. Does that make you feel proud?”

  “Not that,” he said, his voice low.

  “Then what?!”

  “Admit that you are still in love wit
h me. “

  The hell! Natalie’s jaw dropped at his audacity. Of course the man never relented. Once he knew what he wanted he stopped at nothing to get it, no matter who or what the object of his intention was. He would exasperate her until she was telling him the inner details of her very soul and being.

  “To what end, James? What changes if I am or am not still in love with you?”

  “Everything changes.”

  “Why?” she practically yelled. She inhaled deeply and leaned against the wall between two sconces, arms linked together across her waist. She could feel James moving closer again, cutting the distance once more.

  “Because if you still love me then it isn’t over between us.” The distance now gone, he propped his hand against the wall beside her head and leaned in to her space, effectively blocking any escape she might try to make. “And Natalie, I do not believe for a minute that you do not still love me.”

  Her eyes stung with hot tears that blurred her vision. There was no use in hiding anything from him; the harder she tried, the more she showed. He had always had the uncanny ability to bring the truth out of her, no matter what form that truth came in.

  “I am with Audra,” she said, her voice hoarse, shaky with emotion, but lacking conviction even to her own ears.

  James dipped his head down close to hers, and asked, “Are you in love with her?”

  “Yes,” she answered quickly through her own breath. “I love her.”

  “But are you in love with her?” he reiterated, qualifying the difference in question with the stress of just two words.

  Her stomach plummeted inside her, as though she had been dropped after being suspended high in the air. Memories of Audra from the past few months came back to her in flashes, one right after the other without fail.

  ‘Would you believe me if I told you I used to be scared of you?’

  Audra smiled incredulously, as though she was somewhere on the cusp of indecision as to whether or not she did believe it.

  ‘You mean you’re not still?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I never planned on acting on it. Ever.’ Audra’s thumb swept languorously across Natalie’s cheek.

  ‘So do you plan on acting on it now? Or are we just going to pretend that’s not what either of us wants?’

  Memory upon memory, from their first date when they ran into Audra’s aunt Caroline, to making out on the plane, and every detail about the last few weeks since Audra returned from New York - they all came back. And then finally one last voice, one final memory, one which had nothing to do with Audra, but with James.

  ‘Natalie you are the plan.’

  He said he regretted that he had not fought harder for her, but by her estimation, he had, right down to buying Villa Montecito. Or at least, his original intentions for Villa Montecito. Even in that moment, after every fight and misstep taken in anger or out of his own hurt, he was still fighting for her, for them.

  Her lips trembled as realization inundated her senses. She watched as his eyes dropped to her lips, lingered for a moment and then climbed back up to her eyes. Restrained impatience had turned his eyes into dark jewels, or perhaps that was just the lighting.

  “No.” With the whispered utterance of the word, tears came pouring from her eyes, no longer able to withstand the buildup. “I am not in love with her.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  His heart threatened to desist beating at any moment. Everything inside him twisted at the sight of her tears. He desperately wanted to end this, to know once and for all where they stood and then take her into his arms and never let her go. That is, if she still loved him like he believed she did.

  “And me? Are you in love with me, Natalie?”

  She parted her lips, but it was only to breathe. And then slowly, almost hypnotically, she nodded her head. “Ye-“

  He could not wait for her to finish even the smallest of words. He collided into her, pressing her lips against his with feverish intent. His hands went to her backside to lift her up, and her legs wrapped around his waist in response as her arms laced around his neck. Her lips parted, inviting him in to taste of her for the second time that evening, but the intention was different. The moment his hips brushed against her open legs he was hard, and the moan that passed from her lips to his mouth made every nerve in his body sing.

  “Upstairs,” he grunted, not wanting to let another moment pass by before he was inside of her.

  “No, here.”

  Fuck. A ripple of need swept across the length of his erection at her words. Pressing her body into the wall for leverage, James busied his hands with unzipping his pants and tugging them down just enough to free his dick. He held Natalie up with one hand at the base of her spine, and used the other to slip between her legs and pull the scrap of her panties aside, just enough to-

  Oh, god, he groaned as he pushed inside her, filling her completely. They both stilled, locked in the moment as they joined together, staring at one another with wide eyes. It was as though he were caught between relief and breathless anticipation the instant he was inside of her. She was wetter with each thrust, and moaning incomprehensibly as he moved. He held her face and watched her as they moved together - quickly, impatiently. She panted through her open lips, the skin flushed and swollen pink. He slowed just enough to kiss her. When she moaned into his mouth he quickened again, wanting to feel as much of her as physically possible, even if it meant they would not last long.

  Her nails and the pads of her fingers dug into the skin at his neck and shoulders as she clung to him, matching the shifting of his hips so they were thrusting in tandem. He admired her beauty as he moved within her, the way her lips parted and her eyes fluttered. Even the thought of mussing the stockings at her thighs wrapped around his waist made him harder. He could come just listening to the sounds of her pleasure, and held back from the urge to rip the dress she wore in two just to put her breasts in his mouth.

  Eminent release built inside him. James nestled his head into her neck and bit down as he climbed higher and higher with every tightening of her insides surrounding him.

  Natalie took in a sharp inhale of breath at his ear and quieted as she clenched around him. Half a moment later a piercing cry resonated in and around his ear, encouraging a final thrust before he spilled into her, release turning his vision white and his muscles into delirious relief.

  He stilled inside her as he caught his breath, matching her own as she calmed down. A rosy glow emanated from her beautiful face as he brushed his thumb across her cheek.

  “I’m sorry, you were saying?” He laughed and felt a pulling twinge in his still-engorged manhood. Even the most infinitesimal movement of her body made her clench around him, reminding him of the fact that they were still joined.

  “Yes,” she breathed. “Even when I thought I did not like you, I was still in love with you.”

  This time it was his heart that clenched. His eyes closed as their lips met again, softer and less fervently this time. If he could, he would be with and in her always. The day, however, had caught up with him, and as he pulled himself out of her intimate embrace, James realized he was exhausted - physically and mentally.

  “I need to-“ Natalie began, a polite smile on her face as she gestured with her eyes to her midsection.

  “There is a private bathroom just over there,” he said, pointing to a discreet door tucked into the wall by the room’s entrance. He watched her go as he tucked himself back into his pants, then poured himself a glass of chilled water once she disappeared behind the closed door.

  He ran a hand through his hair and looked at the place on the wall where they had just made love, retracing the day backwards through his mind. The day had been a small miracle. If someone had told him that morning that he would be taking Natalie to bed, let alone making love to her, he would have thought it impossible. She loves me, he thought to himself, feeling relief all over again. Natalie Harlow was still in love with him after everything they had gon
e through. If he were not delirious in the afterglow of being inside her, he might have thought that it was too good to be true.

  She was quiet when she reappeared half a glass of water later, but there was a calmness behind her eyes that dissipated any worry he might have.

  “It has been a long day,” he said, reaching for her hand and lacing their fingers together. “Let’s go to bed.”

  “Do you think we can order in a pressed juice?" Natalie asked as she stabbed the penthouse button on the elevator, James at her side.

  “You want this five star resort to press you some trendy juice?,” James laughed. He took a long draw from the bottle of water he carried before offering it to Natalie. “We have the best coffee in the world here.”

  “Let’s compromise,” Natalie offered as she leaned against the ornate marble elevator wall.

  James mimicked her movements, a smile pursing at his lips. “Or we could just take a really long shower together.”

  “Come on,” Natalie breathed as she clutched at his hand before walking onto their destination floor. She was sweaty and warm both from the morning’s workout and the anticipation of his touch. She needed a shower, and desperately wanted to get her hands on his body. They were laughing as they ran-walked to the Garden suite, hands grasping at bits of workout clothes, abandoning shoes, socks and any other piece of clothing that could come off easily.

  They undressed each other hastily, Natalie tugging at James' tee shirt while he slid her pants down her hips and thighs. Natalie tugged off her own top as James turned on the waterfall shower-head above them, hot water steaming instantly the moment it touched their skin.

  "Come here," Natalie breathed, reaching for his hands. She tugged and stepped back simultaneously until her exposed backside met with the slick cold surface of the tiled wall. "I want to feel you inside me." She moaned with relief when James' tongue slipped between her parted lips, the taste of mint from earlier that morning still lingering.

  “I know you do, baby,” he said in a low voice. His lips drifted across Natalie's chin, down the column of her neck and dipped between her breasts, his large hands cupping the copious mounds of flesh. He suckled at one nipple then the other, lavishing his tongue across the piqued pink tips as sheets of water cascaded down the sloped edge. Natalie's fingers splayed across James' neck and shoulders, the tips kneading into soft skin and hard muscle as he continued his exploration of her body.