God In The Kitchen

by Brooke Williams

  “Can we do this again?” I asked, wanting to reach across the table and grab her hand.

  “Are you free tomorrow?” she said with a grin.

  “Actually, I am!”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  Maria and I picked up seemingly where we left off. We started seeing each other again on a near daily basis. It was a slight drive between our two locations, but it didn’t faze me. If it meant I got to see her dimple grow each time she smiled, I would have driven twice the distance.

  Maria came up to my area for special radio station events and I even had her as a guest on the show once, talking about pet care and how to choose the perfect pet for your family. Luckily, she didn’t bring any pets with her so there were no accidents to clean up once she was gone.

  I visited Maria’s veterinarian clinic and even went out on a few calls with her. I was amazed at her capacity to understand an animal’s ailment from a few simple symptoms and descriptions from the owner. Sometimes, she could tell what was wrong just by looking at the creature without hearing anything. I started to call her the Whisperer. She wasn’t a horse whisperer or a dog whisperer, she could speak to any animal. Simply “The Whisperer” seemed to suffice.

  We often met at the Hole in the Wall and talked for hours at a time. It was nice that the café was open both early and late so that we could fit in as much time as possible with one another.

  It was there that I told Maria the details about losing my father. And it was there that I told her about Evan.

  I hadn’t even really meant to tell her, but when I was talking about losing my father, I simply segued from that story into those that related to Evan. It was hard to tell her about the past few months of my life without including Evan. He had been appearing to me in my kitchen since my father’s death and he had been a key player in my relationships with both Chloe and Abigail.

  At first, Maria narrowed her eyes, but as I continued to talk, I could see her mind opening to the idea.

  “He looks like the pictures of Jesus?” she said, trying to wrap herself around the whole thing.

  “Sort of,” I said.

  “But he says he’s not God?”

  “No, but he does admit to having spiritual authority,” I answered, wondering if the whole thing sounded as crazy to her as it did to me as I spoke it out loud. It was the first time I had told anyone about Evan and I was pretty sure it would be the last. Other than the fact that I am telling you now, that is.

  “What does that mean?” she asked.

  “Beats me,” I said, raising my hands.

  Maria smiled and I continued with my story. I told her about meeting Chloe and Ian by ramming into their car and about the disastrous interview with Abigail on the air. Once I got to the point where I made the first decision, Maria looked thoroughly interested and for the first time since we had reconnected, she was utterly quiet. I went through the details of my relationship with Chloe and skimmed through the part about the promo drive for Ian since she already knew most of that story. Once things ended badly with Chloe, Maria actually looked sad.

  “Don’t worry,” I said, “it ends differently now.”

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “I got to do it all again,” I said with a glimmer in my eye.

  She was intrigued and I plowed through the rest of the story. The part where Evan ate more of my food and sent me back in time to make a different decision. I chose Abigail and documented how that relationship had gone and how it had ended for Maria.

  “So,” she said, finally finding her voice again. “You were looking for a family…a wife…and you had two choices and neither of them were right?”

  “That’s about the sum of it.”

  “What would you do now?” she asked.

  “What do you mean?” I questioned, frowning.

  “If Evan came back to you again and said you could go back and do it all over yet again, what would you do? Who would you choose?”

  I pondered the question. It was not one I had asked myself. After a few beats of silence, I was sure of my answer. “Neither,” I said.

  Maria nodded. “That makes sense. It didn’t work out with either of them so why would you choose one over the other a second time around.”

  “No,” I said, “That’s not it. I wouldn’t choose either of them because they aren’t you.”

  The shock on Maria’s face was quickly replaced by her deepening smile as her dimple grew.

  “Do you mean that?” she asked, her hand shaking a bit on top of the table.

  “Ask and ye shall receive,” I said, covering her hand with mine.

  “What?” she said, confusion clouding her smile.

  “Nothing,” I said, not wanting to talk about Evan anymore. “I just mean that I got what I was looking for in the end. I went through a lot of hurt to get here, but I got what I wanted.”

  Maria tilted her head and I remembered the day she did the very same thing on the marching band field. A base drummer had lost control of his drum and had gone plummeting head over heels over drum down the hill by the field. The entire band had laughed hysterically, but Maria had just tilted her head, as if to say ‘how did that happen?’

  “It’s obvious to me now,” I continued. “You’re the one for me, Maria. You always have been. You were a great friend in high school and you know what they say. The best relationships start as friendships. I think we can have one of the best relationships in the history of the world.”

  “The history of the world, really?” she said, a glimmer returning to her eyes.

  “Marry me,” I said, surprising myself with the declaration. I didn’t have a ring. I hadn’t planned this. I was just following my heart. And the prayers that had led me there. What Maria didn’t know was that ever since we had reconnected, I had spent a lot of time with her, but I had spent even more time talking about her…with God. And I felt more strongly every time I brought up the topic of her with Him. She was the one. There was no doubt in my mind. And there was no reason to delay any longer.

  “I love you,” I continued. “I’ll move two towns for you. I’ll move across the country for you. Just tell me what you need and I’ll do it.”

  I felt like it was time for me to let her answer, but I couldn’t stop myself from laying it on thick. “I could never take my eyes off you in high school and that hasn’t changed. I could never bring myself to ask you out, but once you took the initiative, I couldn’t have been happier. I am forever indebted to your brother for getting us back together again. I wish we had never parted in the first place.”

  “Why did you let me go?” she asked softly, tears brimming her eyes.

  I had thought about that very question a lot in the past few months as we got closer and found ourselves back in a relationship, much like we had been in high school.

  “I was young,” I started. “I was immature. It simply wasn’t the right time for us. If we had gone to the same school and continued to date. Things probably would have ended badly. But now, Maria, now is the time.”

  Maria nodded. “I know,” she said. “And the answer is yes.”

  The Hole in the Wall café would never be the same. It was now not only a quaint little café on the middle of Main Street in a tiny suburb. It was now also the place where Maria and I got engaged. It was the place where I had finally found “the one.” And it was all thanks to Evan, God, and the advice they had given me along the way.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  Maria and I got married in a small ceremony at her brother’s church, which also became my own church. My family flew in and it was so nice to be back together again, though my heart ached for my father, who I just knew would have charmed Maria’s family with his laugh and stories.

  We decided to have the reception at the only place that made sense…The Hole in the Wall café. After the wedding, we were going to spend a few days at a local bed and breakfast and then I was going to take the rest of the week off in order to move.


  It was going to be a longer commute for me to make it to work every day. But with my hours, I wouldn’t have to fight rush hour traffic and it made more sense for me to move to Maria’s town than the other way around. She was established in the animal world in her town and as a veterinarian, she often got called out at odd hours of the night so she needed to be close. I was never called in to the radio station and could judge my schedule pretty well. Plus, it was only a 30-minute drive. For Maria, I would do anything. I had already told her that.

  Even though my father was physically missing from the ceremony, I felt his presence throughout the festivities. I also saw Evan for the very first time in a location other than my kitchen. Once we made it to the Hole in the Wall café, believe it or not, he was sitting behind the cake table, eyeing the icing as if he hadn’t eaten since the last time I saw him. He gave me a wink and then disappeared before anyone else saw him. It was enough to know that he had been there, since I felt he had a large part in orchestrating my happiness to begin with. I hoped that even though I had what I wanted, the beginnings of a family of my own, that I would see him again so I could tell him in person how much I appreciated what he had done for me.

  I got my wish the week after the wedding, as I boxed up my house. Maria had been called away to an ailing horse on the outskirts of the area and I stayed at my house to get a little more packing done.

  I was rushing through the kitchen when Evan appeared. I barely saw him behind the boxes I had stacked up on the table. The top of his head swayed left and then right as he tried to see me around the mess.

  “How’s it going?” he asked as I caught a slight glimpse of his hair from the corner of my eye.

  “As if you don’t know,” I said, placing the heavy box I had in my hands on the counter so I could free my hands to move the boxes on the table enough so we could see one another.

  “You’re right,” he replied. “I know. I was there.”

  “It was a nice wedding,” I said, smiling and thinking of Maria and how much I was looking forward to our future together.

  “Ask and ye shall receive,” Evan said, a lopsided grin on his face.

  “You’re telling me!” I said happily, practically glowing with glee.

  “Is there anything else you want?” Evan asked. “To make your life complete?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know, things are pretty good…” my father’s face flashed before my eyes and I thought about what I would say to him had I had the chance to talk to him one more time before he died. “I miss my dad,” I said, “but I know I will see him again someday.”

  “Funny you should mention him,” Evan said, leaning back in the chair. He probably would have asked about food but it was likely he already knew the cupboards and fridge were practically bare in the midst of the move. “I actually ran into him a while back.”

  “Ran into my dad?” I asked, incredulous that Evan would mention him in such a nonchalant manner. As if running into a deceased man was no big deal in his world. The more I thought about it, the more I figured perhaps it was not. “Care to explain?” I asked, anxious for him to do just that.

  “Your dad,” he said, stroking his chin and pantomiming a large beard, “he’s quite the character.”

  I nodded in agreement. It was the way anyone who had actually met him would have described him.

  “You know he only had one wish when he got to the so-called pearly gates?”

  I took a second to imagine those gates, shiny and bright, and wonder if they were indeed made out of pearl before I decided it was a silly thing to think about when Evan was clearly hinting at something my father had said.

  “He got a wish?” I asked.

  Evan chuckled. “Remember, I’m not a genie. But when people reach the other side, we often go through their life with them and ask them if they have any regrets or unfinished business. In fact, that’s why I’m here.”

  “My dad sent you?” I asked, my eyes widening. This whole time I had wondered why Evan had come in the first place and who he really was. Was it possible that my dad had been behind it?

  “We asked your dad if he had any concerns about leaving this world and moving on to the next. Let me be clear, a lot of times, people simply say no and they move on. The light up there is so bright and the feeling of peace is so prevalent that some people just walk in and don’t look back. They have a hard time feeling concern when they have that lying in front of them.”

  Surprisingly, I thought I understood. If they felt even more peace and serenity than I felt whenever Evan was around, I could see why they would leave whatever was behind them in this world there, in its place.

  “But your dad paused for quite some time and really thought about his answer. He said he knew that his wife and other son would be okay. They would have each other and their families. But he was concerned for you. He said he knew you were a good man and he was proud of you, but there was something fundamental missing from your life. He simply couldn’t move on until you found it.”

  “And that’s when you came here?” I asked, hungry for more details on what my dad had said and done.

  Evan tilted his head. “Have you found what you’ve been looking for?” he asked again.

  “I’m certainly happy with Maria,” I said as I thought. “And I learned quite a bit through the whole experience as well.

  “Like what?” Evan asked.

  “Like I need to rely on God more and trust His ways for my life above my own.”

  Evan snapped his fingers. “I think you have it,” he said with a smile. “Are you going to continue with that way of life? At least one more time?”

  I wondered what he meant by that statement, but I shook my head emphatically as I remembered the hurt I had caused myself by making my own decisions erratically without asking God for help. “Hopefully all of the time,” I said, “not just once.”

  “You’ll need that way of life,” he said, folding his hands on the table in front of him. “Especially for one particular purpose.”

  I blinked. He wasn’t going to elaborate. I knew it without even asking.

  “Is there anything you’d like me to tell your father if I happen to run into him again?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye.

  “How much time do you have?” I asked. “I have so much to say…” I looked down at the table and thought about all of the times he had made me laugh when I thought nothing in the world could. When I looked back up at Evan to ask for advice on how to phrase it all, Evan was no longer there. But my father was.

  It was my father, of that I was sure. But he was not the same man he once was. His beard was still prevalent, but it was shorter and not quite so white. He was thinner too and his eyes, which had always been kind and jovial, had the same glow Evan had on his face at all times.

  Had I not been in such shock, I would have thrown myself across the table at him. “Dad,” I whispered.

  “Hi, son,” he said, smiling at me and reaching across the table to touch my hands. His hands were much softer than they had been during his life and I was surprised at how warm they felt. “I know you love me,” he said, “there’s no need for you to say a word.”

  For once in my life, I stayed quiet, holding his hands and looking into his eyes.

  “When I was given the chance to come back into your life, I didn’t really have a choice. I had to make sure you were going to be okay. I wanted for you what I’ve had for so many years. With your mother…with God. It was all that mattered to my life.”

  Wait, did he say that he had been given a chance to come back? He must have meant just then, right?

  My dad suddenly smiled and nodded, as if he could read my mind just like Evan always seemed to be able to do. “It’s been me this whole time,” he said. “I go by Evan now and my new assignment is to work in other people’s lives. Helping them to find the right path for their life.”

  My mouth fell open. I now understood why I had always felt so comfortable with Evan. Like he was someone I h
ad known my whole life. I HAD known him my whole life.

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you earlier. I knew if I came to you in my old form, you wouldn’t be able to get past your shock at seeing me. As Evan, I was something different. Someone who might actually be able to help.”

  It wasn’t like me to remain silent for so long. I normally blurted out anything in my head, but there were so many things floating in my head that I didn’t know what to say first.

  “You don’t have to say anything,” my dad continued, “I understand. As we wrap up our time together, I just felt like you needed to know it was me. That all of these talks we’ve had…they’ve been between father and son. I thought that might complete your peace and give you reason for even more joy in your life.”

  He was certainly right. I was going to look back on this time as something really special. Even more so now that I knew the secret my father had been keeping. “Wait,” I said, finally pulling my thoughts together enough to find words. “Does this mean I won’t see you again?”

  “You don’t need me anymore,” he said and I wanted to protest, but he continued on too quickly. “You have God. You have Maria. You will have a family.”

  I still wanted to protest, but what he said made sense. I had the beginnings of everything I had ever wanted to have. With Maria, the future was bright and with God by our side, nothing could stop us from being happy for the duration of our life together.

  “There will be hard times,” he said with a sad smile. “You are going to have struggles soon. But there’s nothing you can’t handle with God and with that woman God has chosen for you.”

  I nodded, feeling the end nearing as tears built up in my eyes.

  “I have always loved you, son, and I will never stop. I will see you again soon. Not too soon. But soon enough. Until then, look to God and you will always find me there.”

  Before I could say another word…before I could tell him how much he meant to me in my life and especially in these past few months, he was gone. I didn’t lament not getting to tell him my thoughts. I knew that he already knew. And I had peace.