by Bry Ann
He didn’t.
He wants her to come to him willingly.
He cares about her.
What if we talked to him? Simply asked him for her freedom. Let him see firsthand the toll this stress is taking on Rose’s body.
Could it really be this easy?
This plan could totally flop, but I’m so good at what I do because of instinct. And my instinct is strongly telling me this is the right way to go.
So, I approach the topic with Rose.
Of course she argues.
Of course she’s scared.
But I feel a slight sense of relief when I realize she’s fighting so hard because she knows I’m right.
This is a lot simpler than she’s making it. This guy doesn’t want to hurt her.
I sneak a smirk her way when she’s not looking.
He loves her. She loves him.
This is a simple set-up.
I snort.
Wow. Fuck me.
I use a few of my random contacts to get Sven’s number. Not at all to my surprise, he immediately agrees to meet with us. I’d already decided on a restaurant before making the call, which I felt would be best for this kind of thing: safe, private. The place is a small Italian restaurant outside of town, called Labronski’s. Not to mention, I took great humor in the fact that it wasn’t even close to Sven and he was still willing to come.
Rose is a mess on the way over. Anger one minute. Disbelief the next. Following that, denial, tears, anxiety…
I admire the fact that she’s trying so hard not to fall for a criminal. Trying so hard not to fall for someone like Aaron.
I can’t deny that she’s funny about it, though. She’s so over the top.
The second we arrive at the restaurant, the lingering anxiety I feel that this might be a mistake vanishes. Sven looks at her like she’s the fucking sun and easily brings out the life in her that I suspect Aaron stole. They bicker the whole time. I mean, literally every second. Starting from the second Sven demands she eat (which, thank God!) all the way ‘til they discuss how stubborn the other is, which is the damn truth. I can’t believe Sage has had to endure another trauma for this. There’s no threat whatsoever. Maybe just to Rose’s heart, but I have a feeling Sven would take the bigger hit if things truly fell apart between the two of them.
Only time will tell.
The plan was to go to Sven’s mansion. Well, the mansion he shares with his boss and all the other high-ranked mafia officials. But there was an attack on the house and Sven was told to hold off a day before taking Rose there.
Hence the motel.
“Why are we stopping here?” Rose shrieks as soon as I pull in.
“Calm down, sis.”
I lightly explain what happened and wait for Sven to arrive and calm her down. My mind is with Sage. Rose is safe. Let Sage the fuck go.
Once Sven is there, I push off the car I’d been leaning against.
“You good?” I ask Rose.
She nods slightly.
“Alright then. I have a call to make. Sven, you get the rooms booked,” I tell him. “Rose, sleep where you want.”
Who knows where the fuck she wants to sleep. With the strange man she doesn’t know is her brother or the man she is— is not in love with. She does have to pick one though. Being at a seedy motel, and as beautiful as she is, I refuse to let her room alone here. I don’t have to ask to know Sven would agree with me there.
“Who are you calling?” she calls after me.
I’m already buzzing inside. Raging. Furious. I could lose Sage for this bullshit.
“I’m getting my girl back from the devil,” I bark.
I don’t consider anyone’s feelings but Sage’s in this moment.
I round the furthest corner and pull out my phone immediately. I slam on Rod’s number.
“Rose is safe!” I snap as soon as Rod picks up. “She and Sven are in a relationship… sort of. The mafia’s no threat anymore. She’s going back with him willingly.”
“That wasn’t the job,” Rod responds immediately.
“It’s her choice! She’s safe. That’s what fucking matters. I’m the one who’s been with Rose. She’s fucking dying not getting closure on this. Her eating habits would kill her long before Sven would! Just let me speak to Sage, please. I’ve done everything he’s asked. Just let me fucking speak with her.”
“If something happens to Rose, Aaron will fucking kill everyone,” Rod says after a long pause. I don’t respond. I let my silence speak for itself.
Please. Please. Please.
There’s the woosh sound of a speaker being bumped into, then a voice I know better than my own.
“Nix?”
Sage
The disgusting man glances at me, curled in the corner, several times as he speaks on the phone.
I know it’s Nix.
I can hear him through the speaker. Begging. Yelling. But it doesn’t faze my hazy mind.
This man, Rod, has talked to Nix before. I never get to. I never get to hear his gentle, sure voice. And I may die here. It’s a reality I’ve accepted since I woke up from the black. Nix’s dad is a serial killer. He’s known for murder, not mercy. I don’t regret being with Nix for one second though. Not one. Even if I die.
But this is why I’m glad Rod never puts the speaker to my ear. I can accept my death, but to hear Nix’s voice first. To know how my death will destroy him.
That would truly kill me.
Sage needs to go away again. She has to tuck away so she can die in peace. She deserves that.
Tucked up in the corner, I follow Rod with my eyes. I always do. Even when he thinks I’m not looking. Even when he thinks I’m hiding from him.
I’m not chained down or anything, but it doesn’t matter. All the doors are locked. I’m kept in his room, which has been enough to send alarm bells spiraling throughout my tainted mind. I keep my body in the tightest ball I can to block myself from him. From his patiently probing hands. The first time he came near me, I peed myself. It was then I knew I had to go away again. I let my mind flash back to my best friend’s words.
Go away, but be reachable. Pamela.
I miss her so much.
God, if I manage to get free, I hope I can bring Sage back again. Pam would want that, and Nix needs her.
But that’s not what she wants.
How did Pamela stay strong for so long? I’m starting to understand Tammy’s mental collapse more and more as the days go on.
I was told the truth about Tammy four years ago.
Psychotic break.
Apparently, she’s on the mend. Apparently, an agent friend of Brad, the agent who worked/is currently working my case, is helping her. But I don’t know much more than this. I’ve been forbidden from seeing her.
I snap back to the present when Rod crooks a finger my way. I give him a blank stare. Unlike in hell, my dead-eyed defiance doesn’t faze Rod right now. He simply cocks an eyebrow and waves the phone around. My breath hitches.
Nix.
So much for not being able to handle hearing Nix’s voice. I crawl over. Rod set the rules when I got here.
Listen and you won’t get hurt.
Do as I say.
Crawl, don’t walk. Bastard.
I know how to follow commands. I know even better what happens when I don’t. I’ve slipped my mask on and followed every order. Every cruel, degrading thing he’s insisted I do to keep from being raped. If I live and am raped again, while with Nix…
I… can’t.
It’ll crush me.
That piece of me is Nix’s now. I gave him that gift three years ago. He earned it. He can handle that part of me with care. No one else can have it.
“You have a minute,” he mouths.
My heart skips. What?
The phone slides over my ear and into my shaking hands.
“Nix?” I whisper.
“Sage?” Nix croaks. He sounds more broken than me. Of course, I’m not here.
Not really.
“Hi. How… how are you?” I can almost see his fisting hands. That tick in his jaw working furiously as he awkwardly stumbles through his words.
I almost laugh. “How am I? I…” I close my eyes and allow one tear to fall. “Nix, if he hurts me…”
Words fail me for a moment.
“If he hurts me… I… I love you. I’m always yours. You know that, right?”
I allow something Sage would want to say to slip past my lips. I risk the heartache so I can give Nix good last words if they’re needed.
“I know. I know, princess. I’m sorry.” His voice falters. “H-he won’t hurt you.”
“Nix, he’s gonna—”
“That’s enough!” Rod barks, snatching the phone out of my hand.
“No, wait! Please!” I hear Nix scream desperately.
That makes my heart hurt faintly. I feel it burn from a distance inside me. Rod’s gaze turns to me as he slams the phone shut.
“He loves you.”
He grins. I give him nothing. I go back to my corner and curl in as tight as I can. Rod doesn’t care. He just continues on.
“Which, hell, I’ve seen that kid grow up. Growin’ up with my boss as a father…” He leans back. “Fuckkkkk, you must be something.”
My insides start to quiver as he approaches me. I don’t like the silent chants for mercy echoing in my head. Instead, I focus on shutting down.
Go away, Sage. Go away. Close your eyes. Shhhh. It’s okay, darling.
I become my own mom.
Oh, Dad. He must be so worried.
No. Stop. Go. Away.
“Tell me,” he says, crouching down, “you gonna pee yourself again?”
I squeeze my eyes tighter. I feel his slimy fingers graze my cheek.
“You’re very unique looking. I see why you were—”
I hear his front door slam shut. All my senses jump to attention, but I stay frozen.
“In here!” He calls over.
You’d think deeper panic would set in, but the additional potential trauma makes my mind completely shut down.
“Anyway, where was I?” he questions as men file into the room. “Yes,” he says as he lowers his dirty fingers to my lips and snags the lower one. “I see why you were targeted by good ol’ Sty. You’re beautiful.”
He tilts my head back and forth, inspecting me like cattle.
“Unique.”
The mention of Sty’s name makes my stomach swirl and my throat dry.
Rod pushes to his feet.
“This her?” one of the men barks. I peek my eyes open to see a group of four men in the room with Rod. I wish I could say I’ve never felt this alone or vulnerable before, but that would be a lie.
“Yep.”
“She dead?” one snorts.
The rest laugh. I don’t know why, but the laughter at my expense always hurts the worst. It always manages to break through my protective shell.
“Don’t piss yourself again,” Rod warns.
Nothing. Give him nothing!
“Go on.”
With a jerk of the head, three men approach me.
My heart starts to hammer. My palms start to sweat. But I stay the epitome of calm.
One grabs my chin. Another grabs my shoulders from behind.
What is this?
It’s not until the light reflects off a pair of scissors and my hair is held by yet another pair of hands that it hits me.
They’re gonna cut off my hair.
This snaps Sage out of her sealed cage. My hair makes me, me. It’s my definer. We all have one. It’s the thing I love most about myself. No, they can’t steal that. Everyone has stolen everything else.
I fight.
“No!” I screech and kick back, making several of them grunt with the effort of holding my wild body still.
“Let me go! No!”
All four of them struggle to hold me.
“Damn it, I can’t get it with her kicking like this, Rod. I’ll stab her.”
“We are under strict instructions not to kill the girl.”
Rod crouches down again, meeting my wild eyes as I struggle against the now increased pressure of the men holding me.
“I heard you liked drugs back in the day?”
My ears perk up.
“I’ll drug you for the rest of your stay here if you sit pretty like a good little girl.”
I hear Pamela roaring in my head. Telling me to fight. I hear Tammy telling me to “just fucking take it” as my addiction roars to life.
“I’m gonna lose my hair no matter what, aren’t I?” I whisper, feeling the tears slip out.
“Yep.” He pops his lip and smirks for emphasis.
“I’ll be good, but show me the drugs first. I don’t trust you.”
I struggle once for emphasis. The men groan.
“Useless fuckers,” Rod mutters, leaving the room. “She’s just a woman.”
Dick.
He comes back with a familiar needle and slams it on the table.
“Now be good.”
He probably won’t give it to me, but since I have no other choice, I shut off. I go completely limp, making all the men jump to attention as my body nearly collapses to the floor. I get a little joy out of the fact that the men move slowly as one of them approaches me with scissors again. In hell, no one feared me at all. So that’s something.
When one of the men twists a lock of my hair between his fingers, I have to force my muscles to lock. This isn’t fair. Not my hair. Please, not my hair.
Snip. Snip. I nearly vomit when a lock of my hair slides down my arm. I can’t stop the tears from falling as I watch the shiny pool of black-green fall to the ground.
I could have been removed from anything else, but this…?
A few excruciating minutes later, the men back off, most with a scowl.
“That’s it? We really can’t do shit to her.”
“We can’t break her,” Rod says coolly. He looks me up and down. “And as good as she is to look at, she’s fragile as glass.”
Keep on thinking that, bastards.
I quickly glance up at them, fighting to keep my expression timid and afraid, when, in that moment, I just want to hurt all of them. I want them to hurt for taking one of the few things that means anything to me.
“Now be a good girl and stay quiet while we’re in the other room. The men need to talk.”
Without uncurling, I point at the needle.
Rod smirks. “Ah, yes, you can poke yourself with it, but you won’t get much from it. My instructions were to teach Nix a lesson, not break you.”
Fuck him!
Before I can think, I push through the hair still resting in my lap, grab the needle, and chuck it at him.
All while not saying a word.
All the men’s eyes zero in on me.
“Mistake, little girl.”
Rod stomps over, snatches my flimsy top, and yanks me to my feet.
“I was specifically instructed not to break you, little girl. Teach Nix a lesson,” he growls, fiddling with the end of the hair I have yet to explore, “yes, but not break you. Consider yourself lucky. If Aaron wasn’t aware that he’d break Nix by breaking you, we’d all be having our way with you. Get that? Nix needs his fire stoked, not to become a pussy over your sorry, addicted ass.”
“Only cowards use a little girl to do their dirty work for them.”
“You speak.”
“Fuck you.”
He smirks. “Watch your tongue, little girl, or we’ll be more than happy to keep it busy for you.”
“I’d bite your dick off.”
He smirks, but it’s dark. “You wouldn’t stay sane long enough to do any such thing.”
He throws me to the ground.
“Maybe go look in the mirror. You’ll shut right the fuck back up.”
I hate him.
Because he’s right. It takes one look in the tiny, fragile mirror hanging on the wall for my brain t
o slowly slip away.
The short, mismatched lump of black hair resting by my ears isn’t fair. It’s not Sage. Sage has long, beautiful, black-green hair that shines. It’s not lumpy or dull or chopped away wildly with scissors. It’s not short. It’s not me.
So why do I have to be the one fighting so hard to stay?
“Do you ever fucking sleep? Jesus!” Rod grumbles, jumping out of bed and running a hand over his head. I almost vomit, looking at his fat, shirtless form.
“It’s creepy, feeling your eyes on me all night.”
Good.
I say nothing.
“Do you sleep?” he repeats with a growl.
Why is he just bringing this up now? It’s got to have been a week since the hair incident. I keep expecting something to happen. I never stop watching the man, but other than being hungry, not being able to pee without his eyes on me, and obviously my hair, he hasn’t physically hurt me much.
Just the occasional little thing.
But my hair. That’s really gonna hurt when this is over.
They aren’t gonna kill me. Nix isn’t gonna be that lucky. They are gonna keep using me to fuck with him. That hurts my heart way worse for Nix than for myself.
Because I know how effective that will be. I know how deeply it will cut him. Loving me is the best worst thing that could have ever happened to him.
“I asked you a question!” he roars.
He’s tired. It makes me smile a little, knowing I’m causing him distress.
“Do you hear me?”
He comes over, lifts me off the floor, and before I can blink, slams my head into the plaster behind me. I let out a squeal and slump to the ground as stars fill my vision. The world around me spins in circles as I try to process what just happened.
“Fuck,” he hisses. “Damn it.”
I can feel him glaring at me, even as the world around me spins.
“Look at me, little girl,” he growls.
I can’t. I feel really sick. I drop my head into my hands.
“You’re trying my patience. I’m gonna fucking kill Aaron for this. I’m no fucking babysitter. I’m never doing this again. Next time, it’s a clean shot and I’m done.”
“Good to know,” I groan.
“I see why Nix likes you. Now look at me or I’ll make you.”
