by Daisy May
“Please, Cole…” he whined, rocking back and forth on my fingers.
He didn’t have to say anything more. I wanted to give him exactly what he wanted, and now that he was ready, I intended to do just that. I reached for the drawer again, thanking the stars that I still had a couple of condoms on hand. I hadn’t needed them in a long time, but it was always good to have some around. You never knew when something would come up—something like having sex with your fake husband.
Raising Gordon’s hips, I placed a pillow underneath him. Then, holding his shoulders, I sank slowly inside. The feeling was so intense, I had to pause halfway through. I stayed there for a second, my heart pounding, eyes rolling back in my head. My fingers tightened on Gordon’s shoulders, and I struggled to draw breath.
“Everything all right?” Gordon whispered.
“It’s just so intense,” I managed to get out. “I can’t even… it’s never been…” I shook my head, giving up on words.
And I pushed the rest of the way inside until I was buried between his cheeks. The ring of muscle was tight and hot around me, and his walls gripped me like nothing I’d ever felt. I bit my lip as I lowered my head, my lips meeting his in a fervent kiss.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, keeping him there with me. The feeling was far too intimate considering it was just sex, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself from expressing all the emotions that I felt. He was my husband, and I was in love with him.
Even if I couldn’t actually say that. Even if this was going to be our only time.
A hiss escaped my lips as I remembered the agreement we’d come to. One time only. With that in mind, I committed myself to memorizing every detail of this moment.
I looked into Gordon’s eyes, wide and needy. Then I glanced over the hairs that were rising on his arms, the flush in his cheeks, the rippling of his abs.
I looked at his cock, hard to the point of veininess as it bounced on his stomach with each thrust. I took in the sweat-soaked strands of hair on his forehead, and the way his head tipped back before he lifted it to meet my lips.
I grabbed his waist, holding him tight as I fucked deep inside him, harder and faster than ever. I never wanted to forget the way his walls surrounded me, fitting me perfectly as if he’d been made just for me. And the sounds that were coming out of him, longer and more desperate now. His breathing was audible, and I could feel every hot breath against my neck.
“Cole…” he groaned, staring straight into my eyes.
And that did it for me. I was gone.
Fifteen—Gordon
After having sex with my husband, things were awkward—to say the least.
We’d both enjoyed it, from what I could tell at the time. But since then, his actions seemed to deny it.
We tiptoed around each other, exchanging strained smiles and avoiding each other’s eyes. In fact, when we could, we avoided each other entirely. I tried to be in bed by the time Cole came home from work, and for his part, he was often in the shower by the time I got up.
I hadn’t been going to yoga much lately, so I started rolling out my mat outside in the mornings. I liked to do it in the back yard, by the pool. I still wasn’t some kind of super-fit yogi, but it did help keep me calm and loosen up my body. I seemed to be tenser than usual.
Days went by like that. And they could’ve kept going by. I, for one, had no wish to start a conversation about the status of their relationship.
But date night crept up on us. And while I would’ve been happy to let it go by without celebrating it, that week, it wasn’t possible.
That week, date night fell on Kerry’s school play.
“Does this even count as a date?” I asked as Kerry zoomed around the house in preparation for the play.
Cole shrugged, following her with his eyes instead of looking at me. “We’re spending time together. That’s what counts.”
“That’s what Talbot said?”
“Yeah. Exactly. In fact, we should take some pictures to show to the immigration people.”
Kerry, who had been going so fast she was almost a blur, came to a sudden stop. Spinning to face us, she said, “Pictures?”
“Yes, kiddo,” I said. “Don’t worry about it.”
“She could take them,” Cole said.
Kerry rolled her eyes. “Or I could be in them.”
I glanced at Cole. This was getting to be more of an involved process then I’d been prepared for. I would prefer having Kerry in the pictures, if only to give me some space from Cole. Now that I knew how he felt kissing me, stroking me, inside me, I knew that being less than three feet away from him would instantly get me turned on. Kerry would give us just enough of a buffer.
“How can we all take a picture together?” I asked.
“Selfie cam and timer, duh,” Kerry said.
“Do we really have time?” Cole asked.
Kerry set up the camera, balancing Cole’s smartphone on the table and dragging the two of us over into the frame of the picture. “We better, because the camera’s going off in seven seconds,” Kerry said. “Six… Five…”
I tried to smile, although it came out more as a grimace. I knew we needed more pictures to prove that we were a real couple. And both of us had gotten a little dressed up for tonight—Cole in a tie, me in a plain black and white pinstriped dress shirt. Kerry looked as enthusiastic as ever to wear her elf witch dress.
Still, I would’ve preferred to have done this either before we’d taken the ill-advised step that we had, or later, when my heart had recovered from it.
It was a small mercy that Kerry was between us, her grin big enough to light up the entire shot.
But after we’d taken that picture, Kerry went over to grab the phone. “Now one with just you two.”
“Just us? No,” I said, giving Cole a nervous look. “It’s your special night, so we need to have you in every picture.”
“Yeah, nobody wants to see a picture of just us. How boring would that be?” Cole gave a strained laugh.
“Of course it’s boring without me, but still! Come on, Daddy. C’mon, Gordy.”
I opened and closed my mouth, unable to think of any convincing protests. I went back to my original place, and Cole stepped to my side. Gingerly, we put our arms around each other, our hands hovering slightly above each other’s skin.
So he didn’t want to touch me. Fine. He’d been singing a different tune the other night. Clearly it had only been sex to him, and now I disgusted him. He probably regretted we’d ever done that at all.
“Say cheese!” Kerry said as she snapped the picture. She looked at it in dismay. “You two don’t look happy at all. Smile this time.”
I did my best, but she complained a few more times, eventually giving up on getting a good picture of us.
“We really have to go,” I said. “You don’t want to be late.”
“Fine,” she said, putting the phone down with a flounce. “Let’s go. It’s time for the star to shi-i-ine!”
Normally I would’ve exchanged an amused glance with Cole after that. But this wasn’t a normal night. All I could do was walk a few paces behind them as they headed for the car.
I thought the hard part of the evening was over and that we could relax and watch the play. What I hadn’t counted on was the other parents at Kerry’s school. Not to mention Kerry herself.
Even before it started, she was whizzing around the gymnasium, introducing us to one friend and then another, most of which had their parents with them. “This is my daddy, and this is Gordy,” she explained to each of them. “He’s my daddy’s new husband, and he takes care of me too.”
I tried to smile, but my expression faltered more and more as she went on. As newlyweds, we should have been putting up a united front, portraying ourselves as the happiest people in the room. Instead, my husband and I could barely stand to look at each other. We should’ve been glowing with happiness, not to mention all the sex we were supposedly having.
I co
uldn’t take all the congratulations the other parents were giving us. They were only trying to be nice, but they didn’t know anything about our relationship, and I couldn’t tell them either.
“Shouldn’t you be in the dressing room right now?” I asked. It felt like we’d been there for hours already, although it was probably more like fifteen minutes.
“Not yet, Gordy!” Kerry said. “I’m already in my costume.” She turned to another little girl in a witchy outfit. “Gordy made my dress. Isn’t it pretty?”
“My mommy bought mine,” her friend said jealously.
After an interminable amount of time, Cole and I finally were allowed to sit down in our seats. The gymnasium went dark, and I tried to relax into the uncomfortable chair. At least I didn’t have to talk or smile or pretend. I could just be quiet for ninety minutes and watch the girl I adored like a daughter having the time of her life.
My heart clenched in pain, and I sighed to myself. I really did adore Kerry. Too bad I’d never see her after her dad and I got divorced.
The play started with a musical number, and roughly twenty kids sang and danced their way across the stage. The storyline was actually pretty engaging. I found myself smiling at the cheerful music, but after a few more minutes went by, I nudged Cole in the ribs. “Where’s Kerry?”
He turned to me, his hand accidentally brushing my knee. “She doesn’t come in until halfway through the first act. Remember how she lied about having the lead role?”
“Right, I must’ve forgotten after she went on about this being the star’s time to shine.”
We both were quiet for a second, and then we burst out laughing—way too loud, actually. Another parent turned to shush us, then saw who it was and murmured something about us being newlyweds.
“We better be quiet,” I whispered. Cole nodded, and we watched in companionable silence as Kerry strode out.
And she truly did stride, sashayed even, swinging her hips and tossing her hair. She took over the entire stage as soon as she got onto it, and I could instantly see she had natural talent.
Her stage presence was enchanting, and I found myself leaning forward as I listened to every proclamation the elf witch gave out. Kerry grinned the whole time, the only mistake in her performance. Her pride at being onstage radiated from her, and no one could’ve blamed her for that.
“She’s doing amazing,” I whispered to Cole.
“I know.” He kept his eyes on her even as I unthinkingly reached for his hand.
What was I doing? I gave it a squeeze, hoping he’d figure it was platonic. As soon as I went to pull my hand away, he held onto it. I looked at him in surprise. The smile on his face got a little bigger, even though he didn’t return my glance. He leaned in, his attention on Kerry… but his hand in mine.
What was he doing? I tried to tell myself this was only for the benefit of the other parents. Realism, just like always.
But somehow this felt different. We were in the audience, and both of us knew nobody was watching. This couldn’t possibly be for show. This had to be some kind of real, genuine affection. We were holding hands, holding hands, holding hands…
And we stayed that way until cheers erupted around us and the entire cast came out and took a bow.
The play was over. I had barely even noticed it going by, too wrapped up in the feeling of my husband’s skin on mine. I leapt to my feet along with the other parents, clapping wildly. I was sure the second half had been as amazing as the first part.
As Kerry bowed, holding the skirt of the dress I’d made for her, I racked my brain for things I could say about her performance. I was sure she’d start fishing for compliments as soon as we met up with her.
Luckily she was more than willing to do all the talking as we got into the car. “I almost messed up my line about the fairy spells, but I didn’t. I remembered Mrs. Tyler whispering it to me in the rehearsal and then it came back to me,” she babbled.
Some of the other parents had actually brought flowers for the kids, and I made a note of that for the next play she was in. Kerry definitely deserved what these kids had, and more.
She deserved two parents who were together and loved her. But for the moment, her half-broken, half-fake home would have to suffice.
I slid into the car’s passenger seat, and nearly had a heart attack when Cole reached for my hand again. He glanced over at me as if making sure it was okay, but the only thing I managed to express with my face was shock.
I almost jerked away, but it would’ve looked strange to Kerry. So I left our fingers intertwined, lying atop my thigh as Cole spun the steering wheel with his left hand.
And we stayed like that the whole way home.
Sixteen—Cole
Confusion was adorable on Gordon. He wore it so visibly, as if I could peer into his mind through the pinch of his eyebrows and the blinking of his eyes.
He’d been adorable all through the night, actually—his enthusiasm at seeing Kerry on stage was obvious—and I couldn’t keep my hands off him anymore.
He hadn’t resisted me holding his hand in public, and that gave me more confidence to do it in private. Of course, being in the car with Kerry wasn’t completely private. And as soon as we were alone, he called me on it.
“What’s going on?” he asked as soon as we had the bedroom to ourselves. “Are you trying to play with my head or something?”
“What are you talking about?”
He gave me a sarcastic look, and I shrugged. “Okay, fine, I know what you’re talking about. And no, I’m not playing with your head. I shouldn’t have held your hand, and I’m sorry.”
“You shouldn’t have because…?”
“Because you clearly didn’t want me to,” I said, dropping my gaze.
He stepped toward me, brushing my arm before removing his hand self-consciously. “But I did want you to,” he said softly.
I put my hand on his jaw, pulling it up so he’d be forced to look at me. “Do we need to have a talk?” I asked.
He looked pained. “I don’t think this would be a fun talk.”
“For me or for you?”
“For me.” His voice was barely audible.
“Because it won’t be fun for you to break my heart?”
He squinted into my eyes. “Cole, what are you talking about?”
“I think I need to sit down.”
Together, we perched on the edge of the mattress. We sat a few inches apart, close enough to touch, but not doing so. Not yet.
“What’s going on in your head?” I asked.
“I just… this has been hard for me,” Gordon said. “And the other night actually made it worse.”
“It’s been harder than I expected, too.” I fidgeted, staring at my hands. “I never expected things to be like this.”
“Like what?” Gordon asked, the frustration clearly coming through in his voice. “I don’t understand anything anymore.”
I rubbed my temples. Things might become unpleasant if I confessed my feelings, but it seemed like that was my only option. Gordon deserved better than to be kept in the dark.
“Listen, I knew this was a bad idea from the start,” I said. “This whole fake marriage thing, marrying you… I came into it with my eyes open. I knew you were never going to feel the same way about me that I do about you, but a tiny part of me hoped, and all the pretending has gotten hard to maintain. The lines are blurred, and I don’t know where the boundaries are anymore. I know the other night was only a one-time thing, but it messed with my head. I guess that’s why I held your hand tonight.”
I dared to look up at Gordon, who was staring at me as if I’d started speaking Japanese. “You… you have feelings for me?”
“Of course I do. You couldn’t figure that out from the other night?”
“Not at all. I thought you wanted my body. And I thought you only wanted it once.” His voice went softer, and I could feel him tensing up before he let it all out. “Cole, I’ve been in love with you for a w
hile now.”
I gaped at Gordon. My mind went blank for a moment, and then it occurred to me that he was playing some kind of joke on me. There was no way that we’d actually been wanting each other for real this whole time, and that neither of us had been able to figure it out.
But the look on his face was so unguarded, so sincere and vulnerable, that I couldn’t imagine he was speaking anything but the truth.
“You…” I started, but cut myself off in order to give him a kiss.
He responded to it with passion I’d never dreamed of. Even the night we’d slept together was nothing compared to this. His lips parted mine, his tongue swirling in my mouth, and my body reacted as if it knew this was the real thing. My nipples pebbled against my shirt, my cock straining in my boxers. I wanted to be inside Gordon this very second.
But I pulled away, needing to talk to him some more first.
“This can’t be happening,” I said, my eyes searching his. “How did we manage this?”
“I guess we’re both shy, like we said,” he said, giving me an adorably abashed look.
“But I… but we…” I shook my head. “We’re married, for God’s sake.”
“And we passed up our only chance at a wedding night.”
I covered my face with my hands, unable to believe any of this. “You wanted me that night?”
“I was desperate for you, but you wanted to sleep in the armchair.”
Fuck. “And the next morning?”
“You got straight in the shower.”
“I was masturbating,” I groaned.
“That’s what you always do in there?” He stared at me, wide-eyed. “A lot of things are starting to make sense now.”
“I thought you would’ve at least figured out that part,” I said. “I’m far from the first man to jerk off in the shower. You thought I just liked being clean?”
“I never thought I’d have that effect on you,” Gordon said.
“How could you not?”
