The Widow of Rose Hill (The Women of Rose Hill Book 2)

by Michelle Shocklee

  Moisture filled her eyes.

  “We’ll never know if George Ellis was one of the men I killed. But we also have to acknowledge it is possible. How can you and Samuel ever forgive me? Even if my sword didn’t end his life, I was there.” He shook his head and looked away. “That alone would make building a life together impossible for us.”

  Crickets and tree frogs filled the night with their songs. Banks and Carolina spoke in low tones, occasional laughter echoing in the stillness.

  He wouldn’t blame her if she told him to leave and never come back.

  “You ask how Samuel and I can forgive you,” she said, her voice a feather on the wind. When he met her gaze again, tears fell from her thick lashes. “But had it not been for me and all the slaveholders across the South, you wouldn’t have gone to war at all. You’d be home in Pennsylvania with your family, not here. It is I who needs to seek your forgiveness.”

  Stunned by her admission, hope surged through Levi’s heart. He moved from the chair across from her to the empty place beside her on the couch. Studying her face in the lantern glow, he didn’t see a former slave owner or the widow of a Confederate soldier. He saw the woman he loved. If they could reach this place of mutual forgiveness despite so many obstacles along the journey, surely they could overcome anything that stood in the way of them seeking a life together.

  With her gaze on him, her eyes alive with passion, he was sorely tempted to kiss her. The quiet voices of Banks and Carolina, however, reminded him they were not alone.

  “We still have much to sort through,” he said, feeling more optimistic than he had during the ride to Rose Hill.

  “Yes.” She nodded, looking at him with such hope, it nearly undid him. “But we don’t have to work out everything tonight. Couldn’t we just enjoy the evening?”

  He could stare into her eyes all night. “We most certainly can.”

  “Mama?”

  They both turned to see Samuel peering around the corner of the porch. He came forward, barefoot and wearing his nightclothes. Levi hadn’t seen the boy since the day Lopez announced his guilt in the battle where George Ellis died. If Natalie could forgive him for his role at Manassas Junction, he prayed the little boy could too, someday.

  “Samuel, what are you doing out of bed?” Natalie reached toward her son, and he ran across the porch and curled into her side, then peeked up at Levi.

  “Hello, Samuel.” Levi smiled, hoping he could win the boy’s friendship again.

  “Hello.”

  Natalie tipped her son’s chin up. “Do you remember what I said about leaving your room after I’ve put you to bed?”

  Samuel nodded. “I’m not ’llowed.”

  “Yes. You have disobeyed me by coming downstairs.”

  He peeked at Levi again before ducking his head into Natalie’s arms. “But I heard the co’nel talking.”

  Natalie glanced at Levi. Was she worried his presence had upset the boy? They might have quite a challenge ahead if Samuel refused to accept Levi in his mother’s life.

  “I’m happy to see you, Samuel,” he said.

  Samuel looked at him with big eyes the same color as Natalie’s. “You’re not mad at me anymore?”

  The question caught Levi off-guard. “Mad at you? Why would I be mad at you?”

  “Because I cried when Señor Lopez said you hurt my papa. Mama said Papa got hurt ’cuz he was a soldier, not because you did anything to him. But”—his bottom lip trembled—“you didn’t come back to see us anymore. I thought you were mad at me.”

  In an act that seemed perfectly natural, Levi stretched out his arms. Samuel didn’t hesitate. He crawled onto Levi’s lap and wrapped his thin arms around Levi’s neck.

  Gratitude rushed to Levi’s heart. The boy hadn’t held his sins in battle against him after all.

  The surprise on Natalie’s face surely mirrored his own. She smiled, her eyes sparkling with happy tears.

  Levi tightened his grip on the boy, relishing the warm little body against his chest. “I would never be angry with you, Samuel.”

  They sat in peaceful silence for several minutes until Samuel gave a big yawn.

  Natalie stood. “It’s time for bed, young man.”

  Samuel didn’t let go of Levi. “Can the co’nel tuck me in?”

  Levi’s brow rose, and he looked to Natalie for her response. When she didn’t deny the request, he stood, holding Samuel. “I don’t mind.”

  Nodding, she led the way into the house and up the stairs. On the second level, he followed her down a darkened hallway to a room on the right.

  Levi carried the boy to his bed, which was illuminated by a glass lamp, its wick turned low. He carefully lay Samuel down, and his eyes drooped when he touched the pillow.

  “G’night, Co’nel.” He rolled onto his side and tucked a small blanket under his arm. Levi recognized it as the one he’d wrapped the cats in the night of the fire. “Come see us again.”

  “I will.” Levi watched the boy drift off to sleep.

  Natalie stood in the doorway, her arms wrapped around her waist. He joined her. She didn’t move but only stared up at him, her eyes dark and rounded in the muted light.

  He cupped her cheek, and she leaned into his hand. Levi’s heart filled with love for her and Samuel. “I want to tuck him into bed every night.”

  She whispered, “I want that too.”

  He had no power to keep from capturing her mouth with his own. Her lips were as soft and inviting as he remembered and held a sweetness he found intoxicating. When she sighed beneath his caresses, he deepened the kiss and wrapped her slight body in a fierce embrace, molding her against him. Her hands explored the muscles on his back with feathery light strokes, and he groaned. The desire he had for this woman was like nothing he had ever known.

  All too soon, he remembered where they were—with Samuel sleeping steps away—and reluctantly ended the kiss. He didn’t release her, though, but held her in his arms. She pressed her cheek against his chest, a sigh of contentment on her breath.

  Eventually, they made their way down the stairs and returned to the porch. If Banks and Carolina had noticed their absence, they didn’t let on. Levi knew he should go. Natalie was far too tempting for him to remain after a kiss like that.

  “I’ll return tomorrow.” He took her hands in his. “Perhaps we can take Samuel fishing.”

  A happy glow radiated from her face. “He would love that.” Her eyes grew misty. “I was so afraid you wouldn’t change your mind.”

  “Change my mind?” he asked. “About what?”

  “About staying in Texas. I didn’t think anything could change your plans to return to Pennsylvania. I’m so happy I was wrong.”

  Her words sent a chill down his back, dousing the flame his ardor had ignited. “Natalie.” His next words would disappointment her, but they must be spoken. “I haven’t changed my mind. When my commission in Texas comes to an end, I will go home.”

  “But … you kissed me and said …”

  Her eyes widened, and her hand flew to her lips. Choking back sobs, she whirled and ran into the darkened house. He took a step to follow, but what would he say when he found her? Closing his eyes, he silently berated himself. Of course, she would think, by his words and actions, that he’d changed his mind. When he’d said he wanted to tuck Samuel in every night, he’d meant after they moved to Pennsylvania. He had sufficiently made a huge muddle out of an already complicated situation.

  Heaving a sigh, he turned to leave. There wasn’t anything else he could say tonight.

  He found Banks and Carolina standing at the bottom of the steps. Their embarrassed expressions told Levi they’d heard the whole thing.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  “Miz Natalie?”

  Natalie looked up from the tub of sudsy water where the last of her camisoles sat on the washboard, ready to be scrubbed. Ruth, Adline, and Carolina stood behind her.

  She straightened and arched her stiff back. “Plea
se don’t tell me something else is wrong.”

  The morning wasn’t half over, but they’d already discovered a fox had been in the hen house, and four chickens were missing. After that, Moses found that three of the new workers were gone, taking a good portion of the Army supplies with them. If these women were there to report more bad news, Natalie might crawl back in bed and call the day finished.

  “No, ma’am,” Carolina said with a giggle.

  Natalie waited.

  With a glance at Carolina, who nodded with encouragement, Ruth stepped forward. “Miz Natalie, Carolina and Harriet been tellin’ us how you’s helpin’ them learn their letters.” She motioned toward Adline, who had never acknowledged Natalie’s presence. Now, however, the woman stole surreptitious peeks at Natalie while Ruth spoke. “Adline and me is wonderin’ if we could come learn our letters too.”

  The request came as a complete surprise. She glanced between the women, practically sputtering her answer. “Why, of course you can. I’d be pleased to have you both join us.”

  Adline met Natalie’s gaze. A small smile appeared on her face, the first Natalie had ever seen from her.

  “We’ll meet under the walnut tree later this afternoon.”

  With a happy smile, Ruth said, “Whatever you teach me, I gonna teach my man, Wash, and our chillens.” Adline nodded her agreement before the women returned to the house.

  “It shore is nice o’ you to ’llow them to learn to read with us, Miz Natalie.” Carolina gave her a studious look. “That freedom proclamation shore done changed things, hasn’t it?”

  “It has at that.”

  Carolina eyed her. “You even look diff ’ernt.”

  Natalie shrugged. “I hardly recognize myself these days.” She looked at her hands, red and raw from scrubbing laundry with lye soap.

  “Seem to me you is more like you ’sposed to be now rather than the way you was before.”

  The honest words should’ve offended her, but she knew there was truth in them. “I hope so. It isn’t as though I’ve had much choice.”

  Carolina returned to the house. Natalie plunged her hands into the soapy water and set to work on the delicate garment, the servant’s words playing through her mind as she scrubbed. Was she now the woman God had intended her to be all along? She never would have believed it the day Levi and his men arrived with the proclamation.

  Levi.

  She closed her eyes, remembering how tenderly he’d put Samuel to bed, and then finding herself in his passionate embrace moments later. It ignited a desire she’d never experienced before. Far deeper than mere physical attraction, she knew she wanted him to be the father of her children. She wanted to make a life with him, to raise a family with him, to grow old with him. But she had misunderstood his intentions and felt the fool for it. He planned to return home to Pennsylvania, with or without her. Why couldn’t he understand she must remain in Texas, fighting for her son’s birthright?

  Tears filled her eyes, and a painful truth became all too clear.

  A future with Levi was impossible.

  After finishing her chore, she went in search of Samuel, needing the familiar comfort his sweet presence brought to her. He and Isaac were in the barn with Moses helping him with one of the milk cows that was due to deliver her calf. Wiping the moisture from her brow as she went, she thought back to the day many months ago when Alexander had brought a bull with him on one of his visits. She’d previously mentioned her concern that their milk cows were not producing as they should. She’d long since sold off Rose Hill’s cattle to pay the taxes on Langford Manor, leaving them without a bull to breed and repopulate their small dairy herd.

  The image of the handsome Tejano came to mind. He’d been nothing but a gentleman throughout the past year, always paying his rent for the pastures on time and even supplying them with beef occasionally. She believed she could trust him to run Rose Hill and Langford Manor, helping them become the prosperous plantations they’d been before the war, thus saving Samuel’s inheritance. That was what was most important now. It mattered not that she didn’t love him. If she accepted his proposal of marriage, hopefully, her affection, and that of her son, would grow over time.

  Putting her troublesome thoughts away, she squared her shoulders and continued to the barn. Samuel’s contagious laughter helped soothe her soul. He and Isaac perched on the top rail of a stall. A wobbly calf took hesitant steps through the straw while its tired mother looked on.

  “Mama, look! It’s a boy cow. Ain’t he funny?” Samuel laughed again, and Isaac chuckled beside him when the calf fell flat on its face, its legs giving out from underneath it.

  “He nice n’ healthy.” Moses joined Natalie. “Once he weaned, his mama shore to give us some good, thick milk with lot’sa cream.” Natalie watched the mother nudge the calf up with her wet nose then give him a few licks from her enormous tongue. The caring gesture made Natalie smile. She hadn’t witnessed livestock with their young very often. Mama had often reminded her that a young lady’s place was in the house learning the things she would need to run the manor someday. Sewing, music, and proper etiquette were of far more importance, especially when one hoped to secure a good marriage. How disappointed she would be to know George had not been the knight in shining armor her parents believed him to be.

  She looked at Samuel, and her heart softened.

  George had not been the husband she’d longed for, but she wouldn’t have this amazing little boy if she hadn’t married him.

  “Samuel, be sure you and Isaac wash your hands before you come for the noon meal.”

  “Yes, Mama,” he chirped, his eyes on the calf.

  She left the barn and went back to the house. Upstairs, she peeked in the door to the rooms Cousin Eunice had occupied. Everything was put back to rights now that the disagreeable woman was gone. Moses, ever the kindhearted man, had volunteered to drive Eunice to town the day after she slapped Lottie. With her wagon loaded and her accusations flying, she left Rose Hill, declaring she would not step a toe on Natalie’s property again. Natalie waited for the guilt to envelope her, considering Eunice was her mother’s favorite cousin, but it never came. Instead, heaviness lifted as she watched the covered wagon depart her land. When Moses returned some hours later, he said he’d hired a Negro couple to drive Eunice to Rusk County, where another of her distant cousins lived. The couple, he said, was hoping to find family members there as well. Natalie remembered the look of longing in his eyes, and she knew he and Harriet continued to pray that their boys would find their way back to Rose Hill.

  After their noon meal, Natalie gathered with the five women under the walnut tree. Ruth and Adline’s eyes rounded when she placed a book in each of their hands. They ran their fingers over the hard covers, carefully turning pages as though they held a valuable treasure. A sheen of moisture sprang to Adline’s eyes when she glanced at Natalie. A silent message passed between them, and Natalie nodded, tears of her own clouding her vision.

  They spent a lovely hour going over the alphabet. Natalie passed the slate among them, letting each woman painstakingly write the first letter in their name. Lottie, however, didn’t seem interested in the lessons. She shifted her position on the soft grass every so often, as though she couldn’t get comfortable. When the others stood to return to their chores, Lottie sat with her eyes pinched closed.

  “Lottie, are you not well?” Natalie asked, concerned for the expectant mother. If Lottie’s prediction was correct, she still had a few weeks before the baby would make its appearance.

  “My back’s achin’ is all.” She arched her spine as confirmation. “Couldn’t sleep much last night ’cuz it hurtin’ so.”

  Natalie had relieved the young woman of work inside the house as soon as Eunice departed. Instead, she directed the soon-to-be-mother to sew garments for her child.

  “Perhaps you should lie down and rest.” Natalie helped the young woman to her feet. The moment Lottie stood, however, her eyes widened, and a large stain
appeared on her skirt. Her terrified eyes met Natalie’s.

  Natalie’s heart leaped. “Lottie, your water broke. You are in labor.”

  “I is? Harriet said the pains would be ’cross my belly when my time come. Ain’t nothin’ but my back hurtin’ now.”

  “Be that as it may, you’re in labor.” Natalie glanced at the house. “Let’s get you inside, then I’ll get Harriet.”

  Lottie hesitated. “I has me a bed in the quarter, Miz Natalie. I wouldn’t want to mess up your purty things.”

  “Nonsense.” Natalie took the woman by the arm and led the way toward the porch. “A baby deserves a nice quiet place to enter the world.” Neither mentioned that slave babies had always been born in the quarter, noise, dirt, and all.

  Harriet met them at the front door.

  “Lottie’s in labor,” Natalie said as the young woman doubled over in pain. “I’m taking her to the guest room.”

  Harriet’s brow shot up, but she simply nodded. “I get some water on the stove and bring up fresh sheets.” She hurried away.

  Natalie led Lottie to the very room her previous owner had occupied and where Lottie had slept on a pallet. Now Natalie pulled down the covers on the four-poster bed and helped Lottie sit on the edge of the mattress.

  “I scared.” Tears filled Lottie’s eyes.

  “There is nothing to be afraid of.” Natalie offered a reassuring smile. “Before you know it, you’ll be holding your baby.”

  Harriet bustled in, wide-eyed Carolina following with a stack of sheets and towels in her arms. Natalie stepped back as the older woman went to work, directing Carolina here and there, removing the blankets from the bed and replacing them with several layers of sheets, and finally stripping Lottie down to her underthings. Once she had the mother settled, she looked at Natalie.