“I know, but I didn’t expect you to want to right now,” I said as we walked into Benson’s offices.
He waved at the security guard who gave him a nod. We got to the bank of lifts, but he didn’t drop my hand as he pressed the button.
“I don’t want to give you time to back out.”
The glint in his blue eyes told me he was teasing.
“You made me sign a promise. Have I broken one yet?”
The lift doors opened and we walked in. He turned so he stood in front of me after pressing the button for the right floor.
“No, but I’ve wanted to dress you for weeks.”
I smiled. He looked so boyish right then. Like playing dress up was one of his favourite activities. Or maybe it was just that he really wanted to dress me.
So he can undress you.
I tried not to let that thought show in my expression. Nor how my skin felt a little clammy and my nerve endings prickled.
“A promise is a promise.”
He’d actually marched me into a pub and bought us a round of soft drinks so we could sign our names on a napkin. The first promise was mine and the second was his.
I promise to let you measure me so you can dress me in whatever you see fit from the Benson’s range.
Eleanor Kirkwood
I promise not to dress you in anything you’re uncomfortable with and I will pay for everything.
James Benson
I wanted to object to the last part about him paying for it, but he’d already signed it before I had a chance to. There was no going back on a promise between us. So I kept my mouth shut and let him drive me to his offices.
The lift dinged. We walked out onto the top floor, along the corridor and into his office. He made me stand by the desk whilst he collected a tablet and a tape measure.
I looked up at him when he stood in front of me with a lopsided smile on his face.
“I’m going to start with easier ones first.”
What he meant was he wasn’t going to measure my bust yet because that was intimate. I shivered at the thought of his fingers brushing over my breasts and how much I wanted his hands there.
Get a grip, Ellie!
He started on my arm, taking various measurements before he walked around me to do my back. With each one, he made a note on the tablet. I took steady breaths, trying not to let the light brushes of his fingertips affect me. I was failing miserably because each time he brushed against me, it made me tremble and want to arch into his touch.
He walked back around to my front when he was finished then squatted in front of me. I watched the concentration on his face as he measured my leg. Then he looked up at me.
“Um, I need to do your inseam… just tell me to stop if it makes you uncomfortable.”
I took a deep breath as he ran the tape measure up my leg until his hand was right by my crotch. A part of me was glad I’d worn jeans today so he wouldn’t have any idea his touch had made me wet. I was so embarrassed. It was the first time I’d noticed just how aroused he made me because it wasn’t something I’d experienced with anyone else before.
He didn’t linger which I could only be glad of. Straightening, he made a few more notes before he stared down at me with an apologetic look.
“So, I kind of have to um…”
“You can touch my chest, James, it’s okay. I’m not going to freak out.”
He nodded. Then he reached around me with the tape measure, tucking it under my arms and pulling it across my chest. Noting down the number, he moved it higher so it was just above my breasts. He seemed to take a deep breath after that one before lowering it again and pulling it tight across my tits.
“It’s not too tight, is it?” he asked, his voice low.
“A little.”
He loosened it a touch then checked the number. But he didn’t let the tape measure fall. His eyes met mine. I recognised the look in them. It was one he’d worn before. It told me he wanted me. I swallowed, tensing in anticipation of his next move. He seemed to visibly shake himself before dropping the tape measure from around me. He stepped back, noted down the rest of the measurements before placing the tablet on the desk.
The air I was holding in my lungs seemed to whoosh out of me all at once. His proximity had frozen me in place before. I really thought he was going to act on this desire pulsing between the two of us. It hadn’t quite dissipated. It rippled with each movement he made.
“Ellie… I…”
“You what?”
He turned back to me, his eyes roaming across my body with unconcealed need. Need I felt coursing through my own veins.
Here we were. Alone in his office. No one else was here. No interruptions. Nothing.
“I can’t stop,” he whispered.
He reached up, cupping my face with one hand whilst the other curled around my waist, pulling me to him.
“Stop what?” I asked, my voice just as low as his.
“This…”
He stared down at me. His blue eyes burning with heat and longing. My lips parted on automatic.
Holy fuck, is he going to kiss me?
Chapter Thirteen
James
What the hell was I doing? My common sense had fled the building. It would’ve told me to let her go if I cared to listen to it. I just couldn’t. The way she was staring up at me, her sky blue eyes reflecting the need in mine. They told me everything I needed to know.
Her lips were parted, so inviting.
I needed to taste her.
My conversation with Dante a few days ago had played on my mind all day. Act on my desires or don’t. One of my desires was to kiss this girl in my arms. Kiss her fucking senseless because I couldn’t hold back any longer.
I leant towards her until our noses brushed.
“Say no if you don’t want this,” I whispered.
I waited but Ellie didn’t speak. She just stared at me with those pink parted lips, almost as if she was urging me to close the distance.
My lips met hers with the gentlest of touches. The heady wave of desire hit me like a ton of bricks. Gentle wasn’t enough. Nothing would be enough when it came to Ellie. I gripped her face harder and pressed my mouth firmly against hers, feeling her lips move under mine as she kissed me back.
Ellie kissed me back.
It was so tentative in the beginning, but I needed more. So much more. I wanted to taste Ellie properly. Her mouth parted for me, allowing me access to her tongue which curled with mine.
Fuck.
She tasted sweet like strawberries. And she moaned into my mouth, her hands clutching my t-shirt, trying to draw me closer. My restraint was shot to pieces in that instant. Ellie made it clear with her actions she wanted this as much as I did.
I walked her backwards until she was pressed up against the desk. My hand tangled in her hair, locking her in place as I kissed her deeper, demanding more. Her hand wound up my neck and curled around it, anchoring me to her. Fucking hell, she was magic. She felt like heaven, pressed against me, her mouth latched onto mine. My cock dug into her stomach between us, but Ellie didn’t seem to mind. She gripped the back of my t-shirt with her other hand, keeping me pinned to her.
Our mouths grew hungry, tongues seeking out each other and dancing. This was utter madness and we both gave in. The pent up longing seeped out of our pores. The air was thick with need. Our bodies did the talking. I ground into her and she whimpered against my lips.
I was so fucking tempted to swipe everything off the desk, lay her down on it and take her in the way I desperately wanted to. Keeping her pinned below me whilst I fucked her long, hard and deep. Listening to her whimper below me.
She might not have said no to me kissing her but having sex with her was an entirely different matter. I’d meant what I said earlier. She had to tell me it was okay. That she wanted it.
We both needed to come up for air, but I couldn’t stop. Her mouth intoxica
ted me. The taste of strawberries was fucking delicious.
“Fuck, Ellie,” I groaned against her lips.
All that seemed to do was spur her on. Her fingers at my back slipped underneath my t-shirt and brushed against my bare skin. I shuddered at the direct contact. We couldn’t be closer than we were right now unless we were undressed and I was buried inside her. It was exactly where I wanted to be.
This was too much. If I didn’t stop now, I’d let the beast free and then we’d both be fucked.
I pulled my face from hers, staring down at her dilated pupils and parted glistening lips. We were both panting, hearts racing out of control in our chests. Her tits were right up against me. I wanted to feel the weight of them under my hand and run my thumb over her hardened nipples.
I merely brushed my fingers over her jaw, cupping her face again. Ellie was more beautiful now than ever with her slightly flushed face and thoroughly kissed lips trembling for me.
“James,” she whispered.
“Yeah?”
“We shouldn’t have done that.”
Her words were like having a bucket of fucking ice thrown over my head. How could she say that? Didn’t she feel what I felt? That kiss eclipsed everything. Set the world aflame and we’d been dancing amongst the ashes together.
“What?”
She let go of me, her hands falling to her sides. I felt her withdrawal from me instantly. It stabbed me in the chest like a knife digging deep into an open wound.
“Kissed. We shouldn’t have kissed. That’s… we’re friends. Friends don’t kiss.”
Friends sure as hell didn’t kiss like we just did. I don’t think even lovers kissed like that. Two people consumed by each other did. And that’s what we’d been in those moments.
“Ellie…”
“Let go of me.”
I thought her telling me we shouldn’t have kissed was the worst thing, but this dropkicked me in the gut. I stepped away from her, my arms coming to rest by my sides. She stared at me with abject misery for a moment as if saying these things to me hurt her too.
“This was a mistake. I have to go.”
She skirted around me and walked towards the door. I turned to stop her.
“Ellie…”
“Don’t. I can’t do this with you. Not like this.”
Knowing it was futile, I didn’t go after her. I’d pushed her too far. Instead, I watched her walk out of my office. She didn’t look back. I slumped against the desk, swiping a hand across the back of my neck.
How the hell had I fucked that up so badly?
She hadn’t said no.
She’d wanted to fucking kiss me.
So why had she said it was a mistake?
I had no fucking clue.
***
I felt listless. It’d been two weeks of unanswered phone calls and texts. So here I was wandering around Heal’s with Liora. She was analysing everything around us. I’d explained I wanted a more homely look for my flat so we were on the hunt for things like throw cushions, blankets and candles. It didn’t stop her wanting to test out the furniture just in case we found anything I liked.
“What’s up with you?”
I turned to her, finding her green eyes on me with an assessing look.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve been moping since you picked me up and are hardly looking at anything. What’s wrong?”
I sighed, flopping down on the end of one of the beds we’d stopped by. The mattress was firm but comfortable and I liked the bedframe, but it didn’t matter. All I could think about was Ellie and how I wanted to see her. To fix what I’d broken between us by kissing her.
“What’s wrong is I’m an idiot who fucks up everything in his life.”
She sat down next to me, placing her hand over mine.
“Did something happen with Ellie?”
Was it that obvious?
“Dante told you what I said to him.”
She looked away.
“He only told me you wanted to be more than friends with her and that things were complicated because she knows how you feel about Avery.”
Now one more person knew about this shit with Avery. At this rate, it was going to end up getting back to her and then things really would blow up. Everything was rapidly spiralling out of control and I couldn’t help feeling entirely responsible for all of it.
“I kissed Ellie. I mean really kissed her, it was raw and unbridled. She felt it too, whatever it was happening between us, but then she ran out on me, saying it was a mistake. That was two weeks ago and I haven’t heard from her since.”
Liora was quiet for a moment before she looked up at me again.
“Are you still in love with Avery?”
“I don’t know.”
That was the honest truth. Things were changing for me. The way I felt about her wasn’t quite the same as it had been before I met Ellie. I was beginning to think Dante was right. That I was only in love with the idea of her. It was easy to use Avery as an excuse not to get close to anyone else. I didn’t want to do that now. I wanted, no, needed Ellie to see me. All the broken parts I kept locked inside laid bare to her.
“If it was me and the guy I liked said he was in love with another woman then kissed me, I’d be worried he was using me because he couldn’t have her.”
Her words smacked me around the head. Why the fuck hadn’t I considered that as a possibility?
You’re not a girl and normally you would’ve asked Avery for advice. She would’ve told you the same thing.
“I’m not. I don’t want to have feelings for Avery, not like that anyway. Ellie isn’t some kind of consolation prize to me.”
Ellie consumed my every waking moment. She felt like home. Like I belonged by her side.
“I know that, but does she?”
No, she probably doesn’t.
“How can I tell her that if she won’t even talk to me?”
My phone started ringing, the sound startling both of us. I sighed, pulling it out and checking the caller ID before answering.
“Hey.”
“Why are you avoiding me?” Avery asked without preamble.
“What?”
“You’re avoiding me.”
Oh fuck, what fresh new hell is this?
Was I fucking destined to ruin every relationship I had?
“I’m not.”
“Don’t bullshit me, James. I’m not an idiot. I’ve texted you like five times without a response. I called you last week and you were too busy to talk. What the fuck is going on with you? You’ve been acting weird for weeks now.”
I ran a hand through my hair and stood up, pacing away from Liora.
“Nothing is wrong.”
“If nothing is wrong then why the hell are you acting like this? You’ve never been withdrawn and uncommunicative with me.”
“I don’t have time for this, Ave. I’m out with Liora at the moment.”
I could hear her huff followed by a male murmur. Great, Aiden was clearly there.
“Just tell me why you don’t want to talk to me. Please.”
Her voice was almost a plea and it broke something inside me. This was my best friend. We’d been together through thick and thin. Here I was treating her like shit.
“I’m sorry. I know I’ve been behaving like a dick and it’s not okay. Can you just give me time? I need to sort some shit out then I promise I’ll tell you everything, okay?”
She was silent for a long moment.
“Okay. You better or I’m coming over and tickling it out of you.”
“No, you fucking well are not. Don’t even think about it.”
“Oh, I’m thinking about it. You’re going to be squirming like a little girl.”
I fucking hated getting tickled and she knew it. It was how she got me to do things for her when we were younger. She knew my weak points and used them against me more often than no
t.
“It’s on, you better fucking watch yourself.”
“I’ve missed you.”
My heart ached at her tone, the sadness lacing it.
“I need to go.”
“Okay… love you.”
“Yeah, me too.”
I hung up, slipping my phone back in my pocket and running a hand through my hair.
“You really are fucking things up,” Liora said as she came and stood next to me.
“Tell me about it,” I replied, chuckling.
“Come on, we better get moving or I’ll be getting a call from Dante complaining about him and Brent doing all the work whilst we slack off in soft furnishings.”
I laughed. We’d left them at my flat to repaint the living room. I could’ve hired contractors. We had the money, but I wanted to do it myself. I think Dante and Liora respected that which is why they were helping me out.
“I like this bed,” I said, pointing to it.
“Well, let’s write it down and we can get it delivered then, hey?”
We spent another hour wandering around and choosing various bits and pieces. My Mini was almost overflowing by the time we’d got everything in. We were having a few larger items delivered. Things were shaping up nicely.
When we got back to the flat, we found Dante and Brent had already finished the living room and had moved onto covering the furniture in the bedroom.
“Well, you two should start a painting and decorating company together, you could call it D & B Do Walls,” I said.
“That sounds fucking stupid,” Brent replied, rolling his eyes.
“We need to call that charity to come pick up the old furniture,” Liora said, ignoring both of us. “Since most of the new stuff will be delivered next week.”
“Sure. I’ll go put the kettle on in the meantime,” I said, nodding at her.
I wandered into the kitchen and found Dante had followed me.
“You okay?” he asked.
“No, but getting this shit done is helping.”
“You didn’t tell her what I said, right?”
I sighed.
“No, of course I haven’t told her.”
Promises Page 13
