As if I was going to tell my sister in law I knew all about what her husband liked to do to her behind closed doors. When I’d gone to theirs for dinner, Dante and I had sat out in the garden afterwards together and he’d explained a few things to me. I wasn’t judging him, but shit, they really were kinky in a way I hadn’t expected. It was always the ones you least expected. I mean, Dante needing that kind of shit I could completely understand, but Liora enjoying it? Well, that was a new one on me.
“She’d probably kill me.”
“No shit. Liora can be a little scary when she’s mad.”
Like when Dante had been in hospital and she’d gone crazy at the nurses for trying to kick her out of the room. It wasn’t just Dante who had a protective streak. I swear Liora would go to the ends of the earth for my brother and fight all of his battles for him. Not that Dante needed her to. He could handle himself well enough. It was sweet. The way they doted on each other. If you could ever call my brother sweet.
“Oh well… I kind of like it when she gets pissed off.”
I turned away, flipping the kettle on so I didn’t have to look at the expression on his face. Smug satisfaction because obviously when she stepped out of line it gave him an excuse to punish her.
“Too much information.”
“What? I didn’t say anything.”
“You really didn’t have to. The look in your eyes says it all.”
When I looked back at him, he was shrugging.
Smug bastard.
“Anyway, your secret is safe with me. I won’t even tell Avery, though you two have more in common than you’d think.”
I pulled four mugs out of the cupboard and dumped tea bags into them.
“What do you mean?”
“Let’s just say someone likes restraints.”
His eyebrows shot up.
“Wait… did you two ever…?”
I scowled.
“No, and just don’t, Dante. I’m not talking about what sleeping with her was like.”
Mostly because I really didn’t want to think about it. It happened and that was that. Dwelling on the way it felt to be with Avery was fucking pointless. Besides, she didn’t ignite me in the way Ellie did. That told me a lot about my feelings towards my best friend.
***
“This has to stop,” I said, pushing her back.
Avery looked up at me, her eyes wide and her mouth glistening.
“Why? It makes both of us feel better.”
All it did was give us an escape for a while but reality always set in not long afterwards. Sex wasn’t a solution to our problems.
“You’re my best friend, Ave. This isn’t healthy for either of us.”
She pushed me back on the sofa before straddling my lap. My hands automatically went to her hips.
“We’re not hurting anyone. No one knows. I know you want it.”
She ground her hips into mine. I stifled a groan. Avery instigated this far too often. It’d been a year since it first happened and things had gone from bad to worse. Her parents were driving her crazy and my dad was putting so much pressure on me. I was so close to snapping. His constant belittling got inside my head. I almost believed him when he told me I was a useless son. Almost.
After I moved out of Dante’s, things soured between me and him. Now he was basically Dad’s younger replica. He didn’t belittle me like Dad, but he acted like a complete dick to everyone around him. He pushed me away and I hated him for it. After all the shit we’d been through and now he was back in Dad’s pocket like nothing had ever happened.
“It’s not about wanting it. What if Gertie finds out, huh? She’s already suspicious.”
“She won’t. She’s too involved in chasing skirt and boys to notice.”
I shook my head even as my hands urged her on. I was a fucking mess. This shit between us made it worse. I was beginning to feel things for Avery I shouldn’t. Beginning to want more than just sex. We had a connection because we’d always been best friends, but this was different. Being around her made my heart squeeze painfully, especially because I knew this was nothing more than a physical release for her.
“Avery, please…”
Her lips brushed against mine.
“Don’t think about it, just fuck me.”
So I did.
And it sentenced me to hell because I was falling in love with my best friend.
***
“Sorry, you’re right. That’s not something we should discuss. Ever,” Dante replied, looking a little chastised.
I finished up making the tea and handed a mug to him.
“You’re right, you know… about me being in love with the idea of her.”
I turned back to the counter and tugged something out of a drawer before I gave it to him. I didn’t really want to talk to Dante about Avery any longer. I did, however, need him to see this.
“He wrote to you again.”
I’d read it twice. Apparently, he wasn’t content with just sending one to the office.
Dear James,
I understand if you’re angry with me. Everything I did was a lesson. To teach you about the realities of this world. To shape you into a better man. One I could be proud of. I want to be proud of you, son. I know the continued success of the company is due to your hard work. You were always far more dedicated than your brother and sisters. I’m sure you noticed I gave you a higher percentage of shares than them. It was to show my gratitude.
Come see me, James. Just for a while. We can talk.
Think about it.
Your father.
“Is he serious?” Dante said, almost scrunching the letter up in his hand.
It was true. I did have a slightly higher percentage of shares in the beginning, but I’d sorted that little error out. All of our shares were even now. I wasn’t giving into Dad’s fucked up mind games.
“Make you into a better man? What with physical and verbal abuse? He’s a fucked up piece of shit.”
I saw the anger and hatred in my brother’s eyes. Felt the venom in his voice. If I’d been under any illusions about his feelings toward my father before, I wasn’t now. Dante hated our father more than I did and I really fucking hated him.
“Can you get rid of that one too?” I asked.
“Of course. You’ll tell me if he sends you another one, right?”
“Yeah. I don’t think he’s going to stop even if I don’t respond.”
I wasn’t about to go see him. His letters couldn’t harm me but seeing him in person would. He would fuck with my head like he always did.
This is something I had planned to tell Ellie about before I fucked it all up. She’d understand why it was affecting me so much. Having my father write to me. I had to fix it between us. Even if it meant going back to being just friends and forgetting that life altering kiss we’d shared.
I needed Ellie in my life.
Everything is falling apart. You’ve become my anchor, Ellie. I can’t be without you.
Chapter Fourteen
Ellie
The ache in my chest which had been there for two and a half weeks was getting to me. I’d lost count of the days where I’d come home from work and hidden in my cupboard for hours on end. It wasn’t panic attacks this time. It was a deep seated longing which tore my insides to shreds. I almost started wishing my father would come to the hotel again just so it would distract me from this feeling and that memory.
The memory of him.
James.
I put my hands over my face, burying myself further under the covers. Every single time I thought about him, my body became taut with tension. The phantom touch of his lips, his body, his hands against mine drove me insane.
If only he hadn’t stopped kissing me.
If only reality hadn’t crashed the fucking party.
Reality was a bitch and ruined everything.
Why had he done it? Why had he kiss
ed me? I’d have been fine never experiencing that kind of passion and intensity.
That’s bullshit. You felt alive when he kissed you.
The world had been so vivid. Colours seemed brighter. Sounds amplified. Sensations intensified with each sweep of his tongue against mine. I wanted it again. I wanted him. All of him. Pressing against me. Filling me up. Consuming me.
I didn’t just want it.
I needed it.
James would replace all the awful memories I had of men touching me if I let him.
That’s exactly why I hadn’t responded to his messages or answered his calls. The moment I heard his voice, I’d give in. His rich, baritone voice which sent shivers down my spine would have me doing anything he wanted. And I knew exactly what he wanted.
Me.
I felt it in the way he touched me. In the way he kissed me. James wanted me naked beneath him. He wanted inside me. It was a different kind of want to my masters though. They didn’t give a shit whether I was aroused for them or not. All they thought about was their own pleasure and taking it from me. Taking what they saw as theirs.
James wasn’t like that. He wouldn’t take anything from me I wasn’t willing to give.
Running away from him hadn’t exactly been clever, but what I said was true. It was a mistake. We crossed a line neither of us could come back from. Nothing could erase that kiss. It would exist forever in both our memories. Especially the way he’d said my name in that heated moment. Like it was a prayer on his lips.
My phone buzzed on the bedside table. It was my day off and I’d spent all of it in bed, only hauling myself out of it to have a shower, grab food and keep hydrated. I reached out and grabbed it.
JAMES: If you don’t talk to me, I’m going to do something drastic.
I sat up abruptly, the covers pooling at my waist. What the hell did that mean?
JAMES: Answer the door.
The buzzer went the next moment. I didn’t have to answer it to know who it was. There was no way I was letting him in. I’d been in bed all day. I probably looked like an absolute mess. Not to mention seeing him was a bad idea.
ME: Please leave me alone.
It was the first time I’d responded to him, but I couldn’t do this. Couldn’t have him here where the temptation to throw caution to the wind would be alive and kicking.
JAMES: I just want to talk.
JAMES: Let me up.
JAMES: I swear I won’t touch you. I just want to fix this. Please let me.
A loud knocking at my front door five minutes later made me jump.
“Ellie, I know you’re there.”
How had he got into the building? I shook my head. One of the neighbours probably let him in. It didn’t really matter because he was right outside the door now. There was no chance in hell I was going to get away with not talking to him. I put my phone on the bedside table and made the bed whilst he knocked on the door again. I didn’t have time to change now. Walking over to it, I took it off the chain and opened it.
James stood there, looking immaculate as usual. The only thing out of place was his hair, which looked like he’d run his hand through it several times. That seemed to be a habit of his. My heart thumped wildly in my chest and my body ached to be closer to his.
I stepped back, allowing him to walk in. The door slammed shut behind him as I let it go.
We stared at each other for a long moment, neither of us saying anything.
I wasn’t sure who moved first, but we were in each other’s arms the next second and his mouth was on mine, hunting my tongue down with his. This kiss was just as electrifying as the first. I groaned, unable to help the sound erupting from my throat. He pressed me closer, his hands like brands on my back. All logical sense and reason flew out of my head. He was the only thing I could feel. His mouth on mine. His body against me. Consuming me from the inside out.
My hands went to his shoulders, pushing his coat off as he started backing me up towards the bed. It fell to the floor in a heap, but neither of us cared. There was desperation in our movements, a need which drove us to madness and one inevitable conclusion.
We were going to have sex.
Right here.
Right now.
And I wanted it.
His fingers were at the bottom of my t-shirt, a little hesitant as the backs of my thighs hit the bed frame.
“Don’t stop,” I whimpered against his mouth.
I didn’t care at that moment I was about to expose the damage my masters had inflicted on my skin. The only thing driving me was the need to feel him against me. His solid body taking control of mine.
He pulled away to look at me. His blue eyes burnt with heat, scorching me with their intensity.
“Show me.”
The commanding note in his voice made me tremble and heat flooded my core. My hands curled around his at the bottom of my t-shirt. He helped me lift it off my body and over my head. It dropped to the floor between us. My chest rose and fell rapidly as if I couldn’t get oxygen into my lungs fast enough.
“All of you, Ellie.”
It was my name on his lips which had me tugging my shorts down my legs without any hesitation. My underwear came next. Slowly, I raised my head to his finding his expression unchanged. The passion and possession in his eyes burnt me to a crisp.
He said nothing. There wasn’t any need. I reached for him. He let me take his t-shirt off and unbuckle his belt. He slipped out of his shoes himself whilst I unzipped his jeans and it wasn’t long before he was bare before me too.
I could see the faint scars he told me about on his abdomen and a larger one on his chest which looked like he’d been cut deeply with a knife. Yet, to me, he was the picture of perfection. I was right about him being athletic in build. His abs rippled as his chest rose and fell.
“Do you want me?” he asked, his voice low and husky.
“Yes.”
He took a step towards me. Our bodies were inches apart, not quite touching.
“Later, you’re going to tell me about each one of these, but right now, you’re going to lay back on the bed and spread your legs for me.”
He was talking about my scars. That wasn’t what had my heart thundering in my chest. It was him telling me what to do. My masters had done that too. I hadn’t wanted to do as they said even though I’d complied.
With James, it was different. I wanted this. Wanted him.
So I shifted onto the bed and lay back for him, my knees bent as I opened my legs and showed him the most intimate parts of me. My eyes fell to his cock. I hadn’t looked before, but now I couldn’t stop. My tongue ran over my bottom lip. Would it hurt? Would he make this feel good for me? It’d never felt nice before. Having someone inside me. It hurt like fuck, but I knew now that was because I wasn’t aroused. I wasn’t wet for those men. I was wet for James. My body had primed itself for his.
He reached down, snagging his jeans and tugging something out of the back pocket. When I realised what it was, I swallowed. There was something I had to tell him.
“Wait…”
He stopped before he ripped the packet open.
“I’m allergic to um… latex.”
He looked down at the condom for a moment and then back up at me. A pained expression washed over his features. I’d found out I was allergic the first time sex had been forced on me. It brought me out in hives and a rash. It was only a mild allergy, but it sucked, nevertheless. It took three more times before he realised and after that, he’d made me go on birth control so he could continue fucking me. Apparently, the hives between my legs were an eyesore. I didn’t care as long as I didn’t have to put up with the itchy rash.
“I’m on birth control, but I understand if you don’t want to. I did get tested for everything after they rescued me.”
He dropped the condom on the floor and knelt on the bed, crawling towards me. Before I could say another word, his mouth was on mine and he
was pinning my hands to the bed.
“I want to,” he murmured against my lips. “I want you.”
His body brushed against mine. I arched up into him. Desperation coiled inside me. Need pounding between my legs. I throbbed and ached for him.
“Please,” I whimpered.
“What do you want, Ellie?”
His lips trailed down my jaw and lower, dancing across my neck. I moaned. His touch burnt me. Fire ravaged through my veins.
“You.”
His tongue swept down my chest, tracing the ridge of one of my scars where a silver tipped whip had caught me. When his tongue circled one of my nipples, I bucked and whimpered in response. He kept me pinned in place, not allowing me any room to move and I was okay with that.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmured. “So fucking beautiful. I want you to do exactly as I say. Are you willing to give me that? Give me you?”
“Yes.”
No hesitation. I didn’t even stop to think about it. It just felt right.
“Good girl.”
In all the years I’d been held captive, not once had any of them praised me. His praise made me feel wanted. Needed. Cared for.
“I’ve never been turned on by anyone before, but I’m so wet for you.”
He raised his head, staring down at me with those ocean blue eyes simmering with heat.
“Are you?”
I nodded. He let go of one of my hands and slipped his in between us. I shuddered when his fingers brushed over my pussy. He groaned when he felt me, felt how wet I was.
“Fuck, Ellie. I want to take my time and show you how sex should be.”
I was already so pent up and needy, him taking his time would only worsen the ache between my legs.
“Please, I want you.”
“Now?”
I nodded. My brain had completely short-circuited. Nothing seemed to matter except him and I locked together.
He leant towards me, lips brushing against mine.
“Okay,” he whispered. “I’ll give you what you want.”
Nerves hit me then. I tried not to tense as he settled between my legs properly and I felt the tip of his cock against my entrance. He seemed to notice my hesitation.
Promises Page 14
