“Ellie… I…”
“You what? You can’t? You can’t turn in that monster? He beat you for years, Mum. Years. How can you stand there and tell me you were okay with that? Why did you even come here?”
She wrung her hands out in front of her.
“I wanted to see you. He only just told me where you were.”
“He told me I would only see you if I agreed to what he wanted. He’s manipulating you and trying to do it to me, don’t you see that? He’s not changed one bit. I don’t care if he doesn’t hit you anymore, he’s still controlling you.”
At this point, I didn’t care what she did. I was still going to the police with the evidence we had. I was going to tell them about his involvement with the Daniels, something I’d refused to do before because I thought he was dead. I thought wrong. My parasitic father latched onto life by the balls and he wasn’t letting go for anything. So I had to do the right thing. I had to stop him. Make him pay.
“I need to think about it,” she said after a long moment of silence.
I wanted to be angry, but instead, I was resigned. She hadn’t left him after he sold me. Why did I think it would be any different all these years later? The conflict in her expression was clear. She might love me, but she still loved my father more. She always had.
She put her arms up as if asking me to embrace her. I shrank back into James’ side. He looked down at me, his expression making my heart thump. His ocean blue eyes spoke of his understanding and love for me. How did I get so lucky? James wasn’t perfect, but he was it for me. As long as I had him by my side, I could face anything.
“She struggles with physical contact,” he said, looking back at my mother.
Her expression fell and she put her arms down.
“She seems just fine with you.”
Her tone was icy, but I knew she was hurt that I wouldn’t hug her.
“She trusts me.”
Her gaze levelled on me instead.
“You let your boyfriend hold you but not your own mother?”
How dare she say that!
I stepped away from James, letting go of his hand.
“You don’t get to stand there and say shit like that to me, you have no idea what I went through.”
She looked stricken.
“Ellie, I—”
“No, Mum, what I do and don’t do with my boyfriend is quite frankly none of your business. He is the only person I feel safe with after everything the Daniels and Dad put me through.”
I’d had enough of her and her attitude already. She thought she could waltz back into my life and everything would be okay. Grabbing the bottom of my t-shirt, I ripped it off and turned around. My mum’s gasp echoed in my ears. And when I looked up at James, his eyes were full of compassion. He knew how difficult it was for me to show anyone my scars, particularly the ones marring the skin on my back.
After a moment, I pulled my t-shirt back on and turned to her again. Tears welled in my mother’s eyes but the sight of them didn’t make me feel anything. If that made me heartless, I didn’t care.
“I didn’t even know if you were alive. All those years I was kept by the Daniels and I thought Dad might have finally gone too far. How could my own mother abandon me in my time of need if she was still alive? But you did and I don’t think I can forgive you for it. Just like I’ll never forgive Dad for selling me to the Daniels in the first place. So you do what you want, Mum, but don’t come back here. Not if you’re going to continue to take his side.”
We stood for the longest time, no one saying anything as tears slipped down my mother’s face. I still felt nothing. All my sympathy towards her had dried up years ago. It hurt. Her taking my father’s side over me, but if I let that pain fester inside me, I’d never be free. I was damned if I was going to let anyone make me feel like shit after the world had eaten me up and spat me back out again. I deserved better parents than the ones I’d been granted.
“I’m so sorry, Ellie,” she said finally before she turned and left.
When the door shut behind her, I felt James’ hands on my shoulders, squeezing them gently as he rested his chin on top of my head.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?”
“No, but I will be.”
I leant back against him, needing his warmth and support. He wrapped his arms around me before dropping his head so it was level with mine and pressed his cheek to my face. I gripped his arms with my hands, feeling his muscles tense and relax under my fingertips.
“Do you really want to turn your father in?”
“Yes. I don’t want him threatening you or your family and I don’t want him in my life. The only way I can keep us both safe is by reporting him.”
He clutched me tighter. James kept me grounded and I would do anything to protect him, just like he would do for me.
“Okay, but I’m coming with you to the station.”
I smiled. As if I would prevent him from doing so. I needed him there with me.
“I’m so proud of you,” he whispered.
“You are?”
His hum vibrated across my back.
“Yes, you’re standing up for yourself. You’re so fucking brave and fearless, some days I’m in awe of you, sweetheart.”
I turned in his embrace so I could face him. I planted both hands on his chest as our eyes met.
“I’m only this brave because I have your support.”
He smiled, reaching up to tuck my hair behind my ear.
“You make me want to stand up for myself. To do the right thing.”
I waited for him to elaborate, knowing that wasn’t the end of it.
“I’m going to end this bullshit with my Dad once and for all too.”
Seeing the determination in his face made my heart soar. This was my man and I was so damn proud of him too. Seeing how far we’d come in such a short period of time. Both of us ready to face our demons. That was something else.
“You do?”
He nodded, stroking my cheek.
“I love you so much, sweetheart. You make me want to be better.”
The shit with my mother might not have made me well up, but this did. James made me feel so many things. He was my balm. The person who supported me no matter what. I knew he’d always be there for me, just as I was there for him.
I rose up on my tiptoes, my hands curling around his neck.
“You’re already pretty amazing as it is.” I kissed him softly. “I love you too.”
And together, we can do anything we set our minds to.
Chapter Twenty Five
James
“What the fuck is this, James?” Dante said as he stormed in and slammed his tablet down on my desk.
I eyed him warily for a moment before looking down at the article open on the tablet.
A manhunt has been launched after police issued a public appeal for information on the whereabouts of Richard Kirkwood who has been implicated in the sex trafficking scandal which rocked the country three years ago. Kirkwood disappeared along with his wife after police issued a warrant for his arrest. Few details have been released, but we gather that Kirkwood sold his own daughter to the Daniels when she was only a teenager.
The Daniels aren’t the only family to hit the headlines in recent years. Kirkwood’s daughter was publicly linked to the youngest of the Benson siblings after photographs surfaced of them attending the charity gala for the Lizzie Lockhart Foundation together. The Bensons were embroiled in their own scandal after the very public arrest of their father, the fashion mogul, Zachary Benson who was found guilty of murdering his wife and abusing his children.
It went onto talk about how this latest revelation could see us embroiled in further difficulties after what happened with Dad. I sat back, shaking my head.
“What do you want me to do about it? All Ellie did was go to the police, it’s not our fault her father ran.”
Dante shook his
head as he paced away.
“We don’t need this shit. The company has had enough bad press.”
So that’s what it was about. The company’s image. Not that Ellie protected us from her father. It wasn’t that Dante didn’t like Ellie, he’d become so obsessed with the company’s success since we took over. It was his drive and determination which turned things around after it all went south with Dad’s arrest.
“And we really didn’t need to be linked to the Daniels. We had enough of that shit because you’re friends with Avery.”
I stiffened at the mention of her name. Avery and I still weren’t on speaking terms and I had no idea how to fix it. I knew he didn’t really blame me for any of this. He was just frustrated. We’d worked tirelessly to get the company to where it was now and bad press was the last thing we needed.
“What do you want me to do, Dante?”
He threw his hands up.
“I don’t fucking know.” He dragged a hand through his hair. “I know it’s not your fault or Ellie’s. She did the right thing, but fuck, we’re in the middle of launching the new collection.”
When we’d taken over, the four of us decided to have a more hands on approach to Bensons. We were involved in every aspect of the business, from design to end product and distribution, the latter being my speciality.
“I know the timing wasn’t ideal, but after her mother came to see us, we weren’t sure what her father would do next.”
He threw himself into the chair in front of my desk and tapped his fingers on the arm.
“How is she?”
“Ellie? Okay, I guess. I think she’s bored being at the flat all the time, but she still doesn’t feel safe going out on her own.”
He nodded slowly.
“Does she know what she wants to do when this is all over?”
I shrugged, rubbing my chin.
“I asked, but she doesn’t know. She liked working in the hotel, but I doubt it’s what she wants to do forever. It’s hard for her, you know, she was kept captive for so long. She feels like big aspirations are beyond her reach.”
I wished I could do more to help her. She still struggled with being close to people and I could hardly blame her for that. She’d only just started to get comfortable with my family.
“Well, she does make pretty damn fucking good cocktails.”
When we’d been around Dante and Liora’s for dinner one night, Ellie had made us all cocktails after dinner. She told me afterwards she felt like part of the family because of how much they’d all appreciated it. Mixing drinks was something she excelled at and enjoyed.
Thinking about that had me remembering something I’d seen a couple of weeks ago. I turned to my laptop and did a quick search, making sure what I had in mind was still viable.
“What’s that look for?” Dante asked, leaning forward in his chair.
“I think I have an idea of what I could do for her, but I’d need your help.”
He raised an eyebrow and I proceeded to explain what I wanted to do. After five minutes, he grinned and told me he’d look into it. This might be absolutely crazy, but for Ellie, I’d do just about anything. Besides, Dante wasn’t the only one Mum left money to. I only used some of it to put the deposit down for my flat.
“You think she’ll be happy?” Dante asked.
I was worried she wouldn’t accept it when I told her, but sometimes you had to take risks.
“I hope so. She deserves it even if she might think she doesn’t. It’s hard giving her stuff because she doesn’t want to feel like she’s taking advantage of me.”
He smiled, shaking his head. I wanted to do this for Ellie and her birthday was coming up so I hoped I could have it all arranged before then.
“She sounds like Liora. Last week she told me if I brought home any more clothes for her, she’d donate my entire wardrobe to charity. Apparently, I’m overly generous and she doesn’t wear half of it.”
I snorted. That sounded like something Liora would do. As much as I knew their relationship was based on dominance and submission, she wasn’t afraid to speak her own mind. She certainly liked to keep Dante on his toes. He probably needed that anyway. Someone to call him out on his bullshit. Brent and Liora didn’t pull any punches with him.
“First world problems.”
That had us both laughing. I didn’t want to ruin the mood, but there was something else I needed to talk to him about. When we’d both calmed down, I levelled my eyes on him.
“Dante…”
“Hmm?”
“I’m going to see Dad.”
He was silent for a long moment. I shifted in my seat, my nerves prickling.
“Why the fuck would you do that?”
I knew he wasn’t going to like this, but I was fed up with my father writing me letters. Honestly, I was just fed up with Zach full stop. Everything he’d done to me and my siblings was unforgivable and it was time he got the message. I wasn’t going to allow him to have any type of control over me any longer. If Ellie could say a big ‘fuck you’ to her parents after what they did, then I sure as hell could tell my father to go fuck himself.
“He’s right. We need a conversation, but it’s just not one he will be expecting.”
“What do you mean?”
I’d admitted to Ellie about his attempt on my life. It was time I told Dante the truth too.
“You remember when Avery disappeared, well during that time Dad threatened my life. If Jen hadn’t walked in, I think he would’ve actually killed me.”
Dante looked incensed, but I continued before he could say anything.
“I don’t want to live my life feeling worthless and like the world’s biggest disappointment because my own father didn’t think me worthy of being his son. I’m going to see him to tell him straight. He’s not going to be my monster under the bed any longer. I’m done.”
He jumped out of his chair and paced away.
“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”
“We weren’t exactly on speaking terms back then in case you’d forgotten.”
He shook his head, turning back to me. I could see the guilt in his eyes. He’d done it to protect me and the twins, but I knew he hated the whole thing. Dante had apologised several times for the way he’d acted. I’d long since forgiven him.
“He actually tried to kill you.”
I nodded.
“Fuck. Just when I thought Zach couldn’t sink any fucking lower.” He ran a hand through his hair. “You’re not worthless, you know that, right? Hell, James, I’m proud to be your brother. You’re the least dysfunctional one out of the four of us.”
I snorted again. I was still pretty dysfunctional, just better at hiding it. But Dante had never told me he was proud of me before. That made my heart feel tight.
“Well… thank you.”
“I mean it. Mum would be so proud of you too.”
I coughed a little, feeling my emotions get the better of me. It wasn’t like I hadn’t cried in front of Dante before. He knew what it meant to me to hear him say that. His eyes were so full of compassion and understanding.
“Anyway… enough of this mushy shit. Are you going to see Zach alone?” he asked when I didn’t respond.
“No, Ellie’s coming with me.”
She’d insisted and to be honest, I wanted her there. She was my rock just as I was hers. I couldn’t live without her and I didn’t want to.
“Good. Well… you let me know how it goes, hmm?”
“Yeah, will do.”
He gave me a nod before picking up his tablet from my desk and striding out of my office. We were still technically supposed to be working and this collection wasn’t going to launch itself. It was time to get back to it.
***
Sitting in the prison visiting room made me antsy. Ellie put a hand on my leg to stop me bouncing my foot impatiently.
“I’m sure he’ll be here in a minute.”<
br />
I tapped my hand on the table and she sighed. She knew how nervous I was about seeing him. This whole thing made me feel queasy. It’d been two years since I’d last seen my father. None of us had visited him in prison except for Liora.
“Why did I think this was a good idea?” I muttered.
“We can go if you’re not ready.”
I shook my head. This was something I had to do no matter what. If I didn’t, then it would haunt me for the rest of my life. My father was my demon and I needed to exorcise him.
When he walked in, I froze in place. His hair was greyer, but his eyes were still sharp and the exact same shade as mine. He strode towards the table with confident steps. He was wearing smart grey trousers and a plain white shirt. It didn’t surprise me he’d still managed to look like he’d walked off a runway even in prison. Dad had always only ever worn the best.
“Son,” he said as he reached the table.
“Hello Dad.”
His eyes flicked over to Ellie, appraising her steadily.
“And who is this lovely lady?”
Ellie looked at me, but I kept my gaze on my father.
“My girlfriend, Ellie.”
Dad didn’t put his hand out to her. Instead, he gave her a nod and took a seat opposite us. My skin prickled and my stomach dropped, but I was determined not to let him affect me in the same way he had before.
“You got my letters then.”
“I did.”
He rested his elbows on the table and leant forward a little.
“You came here to talk then, just like I asked.”
I took a breath. It was now or never. Ellie’s hand on my thigh kept me grounded. Having her here, supporting me, was my incentive to be the best version of myself. The one who wouldn’t let the man in front of him make him feel like shit any longer.
“No, Dad. I came here to tell you something.”
He leant back in his chair, his eyes roaming over my face.
“Go on then.”
The words I wanted to say whirled around in my brain. So many times I’d wished I could tell him how I really felt. How much I hated him. How he’d ruined me. But there was no point in saying those things. What I could do was make sure he understood he wasn’t in control of us any longer.
Promises Page 26
