Just Pretend

by Juliana Conners

  I look at her, not sure if I want to believe her or not.

  “You did have a bad accident, and you required facial reconstruction surgery if you ever wanted to look like anything resembling normal again,” she continues, gently. “You also benefitted from physical therapy- type exercises, but you would have been doing those on your own anyway. Basically, Dr. Davis had little to nothing to do with that part. And you didn’t have brain damage.”

  Whitney spins her monitor to face me and then she pushes “play” on a video. It’s the one where I can’t write my name, except that it’s a longer, uncut version, showing wider angels and obviously unedited.

  “See, there’s an IV. You’re hooked up to morphine. This was right after one of your surgeries. You were clearly drugged out of your mind.”

  “And who could write their name when they’re in that state?” I wonder.

  “Exactly. It’s the same with Alex, and the other guy. Once the medication wore off, you were perfectly fine to write your name or do any other task.”

  “Hrmph. This really is making so much sense now. Especially because I saw Jesse Morrow right after his surgery, and he was definitely on a lot of meds. Couldn’t tell up from down.”

  “Now you’ve got it,” Whitney says. “I imagine Dr. Davis soon had him try to write his name in that condition, just in case he needed to show it later, as ‘evidence’ that he was so bad off and had come so far.”

  “Oh my god. Dr. Davis is the worst.”

  My normally confident attitude is fading. I’m glad that most of my recovery has been something for which I alone can take credit, but I feel stupid for letting Dr. Davis dupe me. And I can’t even figure out why he would do it. But before I can wrap my head around it, Whitney drops even more devastating news.

  “Now here’s the part that I really wish didn’t exist,” she says, pushing my file over to me. “But I think you need to take a look at that.”

  I open it up to notes from the military about my progress. The board says I’m “cleared for service,” but Dr. Davis says I need more treatment first. According to the minutes from the sessions, the board took testimony from Dr. Davis and then decided I did need additional work, but wanted a third party to treat and evaluate me.

  “So everything Dr. Davis has told me has been a lie!”

  I can barely control my anger. I want to go find him and ring his neck right now.

  “It’s been the exact opposite of what’s really going on!” I nearly explode.

  “Apparently,” Whitney confirms. “He was telling you that he recertified you but the military wouldn’t accept it. In reality, it was the other way around.”

  “But why? Does he just get some sick pleasure in screwing with peoples’ lives? Or only with mine?”

  “The way I see it is like this,” Whitney says, reaching across the desk and gently squeezing my hand.

  It’s clear that she’s had more time to think everything through, and I appreciate her telling me, but I feel like such a putz.

  “Dr. Davis needs funding, and then he needed to sell his company. He needed to have the military on board. And for a while you were his only good candidate: the perfect turn- around patient success story. He needs you to trot on stage for him and demonstrate how he helped you overcome all your issues. He needs you to talk other service members into being treated by him, and not giving up or having a bad attitude, etc.”

  “I sure did that job well,” I admit, feeling guilty.

  “It’s fine, Harlow. You didn’t know. He’s just a total user. If someone doesn’t show the immediate progress you did, he cuts them lose. There are many, many service members who can’t show that progress, and so almost none are good enough for Dr. Davis’ purposes. And he keeps you on the hook until he can find some other worthy candidates.”

  “Well, at least I’m not the only sucker anymore,” I say. “But I don’t know whether that should make me feel good or bad.”

  “Yes, exactly. That’s what I needed to talk to you about. I was all ready to turn Dr. Davis in. I think he’s a despicable human being who is using the military, and military members, for his own selfish goals. But then I realized…”

  “…that if you do that, he will probably retaliate against me,” I say, finishing her sentence for her.

  She nods solemnly.

  “And to make matters even more complicated,” she says, one side of her sexy mouth twisting into a concerned “o,” “I’m pretty sure he’s about ready to send you back to your unit.”

  I sit up straight when I hear this: excited, although I know I shouldn’t be.

  I want it to be true, that I can be an active SEAL again— and it definitely sounds as if Whitney has figured everything out— but I don’t want to have my hopes dashed yet again.

  “How do you figure? He just took you off my case because you were saying I was ready. He just stressed all the ways in which I still need help.”

  “I think he was dragging it out a little longer, for the sake of insurance,” Whitney says. “He wasn’t quite ready to cut you loose, because he needed to make sure the sale of his company went through, and he also needs to make sure that one of the other two names I highlighted in green is fit enough after surgery to be his new poster boy.”

  “I see.”

  I think about how eager Dr. Davis was to introduce me to Alex, and to have me be the spokesman for how great it is to work for Dr. Davis. He was definitely setting up this transition all along. Alex was even getting paid to be the new me, whereas I was the sucker who had been doing it for free.

  “But he knows he can’t continue this forever, or his gig will be up soon. He knows I’m on to him, although he thinks I’m easy enough to shake off his trail. He probably suspects that Lance has his reservations, although he knows that Lance values his job enough that he will keep his head down and do what he’s told. And he knows that sooner or later you’ll be on to him— sure, you could be a little more flexible and strong but, really, what is there to work on? You deserve to be back in the military.”

  “I do.”

  We stare at each other, as if silently asking each other what we should do now.

  “I was thinking,” Whitney says, “that we can keep everything on the down low and wait until he recertifies you. Once you’re back with your unit, I can expose him. I don’t think he’d have the power to do anything against you at that time.”

  I take a deep breath.

  “It sounds so tempting,” I tell her. “But what kind of hypocrite would I be if I turned out to be the one who is afraid of risk, after lecturing my girlfriend about the very same thing?”

  “Girlfriend. I’m already really liking the sound of that.”

  “Me too.”

  “Well, Boyfriend, don’t feel any pressure to make a decision just yet. At least we have the information, and we can decide what to do with it as the timing feels right.”

  “No,” I tell her, decisively. “The timing does feel right. For everything. For you and me, and to shine the truth on Dr. Davis, who has been living in the shadows for too long, while forcing everyone else into his limelight. Let’s do this.”

  “But what about your recertification?”

  “Staying state- side wouldn’t be so bad,” I say, squeezing her hand. “Now that I have a reason to be here.”

  I start to wonder if maybe I was searching for an escape, when what I really needed was here right along. That reminds me.

  “Okay, now look up this HR Policy and see if there’s a loophole for us to be able to be a real couple,” I tell her.

  “Yes sir,” she says.

  I love when she does as I command.

  She turns to her computer monitor and searches for the document. Then she pulls it up and begins reading it.

  “Well this sucks,” she says. “It is a violation of this policy in order for any treating medical provider to have any physical or romantic relationship with any patient.”

  She slumps down in her chair
.

  “That’s pretty all-encompassing. And hard to prove. Physical or romantic? How would they even know about ‘romantic’?”

  “Wait,” I tell her, squinting to make out the words on the screen. “There’s more that you didn’t read. An exception. See? I told you. A loophole.”

  “Oh, that just says, ‘unless they’re married or engaged,’” she says, with another shrug and another slump.

  “That clearly doesn’t apply.”

  I raise my eyebrows at her.

  “Well, not yet…”

  “Harlow Bradford, don’t you dare,” she says, reaching across the desk and playfully slapping me on my shoulder. “I know you’ve never been in a relationship but they don’t work like this. You don’t go from saying ‘I love you, be my girlfriend,’ to proposing. Especially not when you haven’t even met my parents. They would kill me.”

  But she’s smiling. I love it. She wants to marry me. I just know it.

  “You’re right,” I tell her. “It’s too early for that. But it’s never too early to just pretend.”

  “To just pretend?” she asks. “You mean, like playing house? Like little kids do?”

  I shrug, grinning at her.

  “What if the only way for us to have a real, out in the open relationship, is to have a fake engagement?” I ask her.

  She nods her head, suddenly understanding what I’m getting at.

  “That would be crazy,” she says.

  “Well, I don’t know about you but no one has ever accused me of being sane,” I tell her.

  Now she’s shaking her head, but she’s grinning. A lot.

  “Harlow, this is truly insane. Who are we going to lie to? Everyone?”

  I shrug.

  “Why not? Dr. Davis has been lying to everyone. And this is a good lie, not a bad lie. It’s to help people. And it’s even kind of true.”

  “Kind of doesn’t count,” she says, laughing again.

  How I wish I could get down on one knee and propose to her for real, instead of just for pretend. But that would be truly crazy. For now, I have to worry about saving her job, not indulging in some fantasy of the future that I can completely imagine having with her.

  “Look, I’m sure you can explain the situation to Lance,” I tell her.

  “And Mae,” she agrees, nodding.

  “Yes, and Mae too. So to Dr. Davis and anyone else, we just tell them we’re engaged, so we’re allowed to be together.”

  “But he’ll be like, you only just met!” she protests.

  “So what?” I shrug. “It was a whirlwind romance. People do it. Those people are crazy, but no one can accuse them of not really being engaged. Like you were just saying, how do they even know the level of emotional involvement or commitment between two people? Are they going to make us sign a statement in blood? Swear under oath? Take a lie detector test?”

  She laughs, slowly shaking her head back and forth.

  “You know what? This might be crazy enough that it could just actually work.”

  “Great,” I tell her, getting up and walking over to her. “Now that you see it my way…”

  I get down on my knee by her computer chair and hold her hand. I look up into her eyes and get a glimpse of my real future. Except I’ll be holding a small box with a very large diamond ring inside.

  “Whitney Reid, I love you and I want you to be happy now and in the future. Therefore, I’m asking you to do me the honor of being my fake fiancée. Whitney, will you be fake engaged to me?”

  She bends over and kisses me, and now it’s her turn to cry a little bit.

  “Harlow Bradford, I most certainly will.”

  Chapter 50

  I rush into Lance’s office, not bothering to worry about who sees or hears. Everything will come to light soon enough.

  “Not you again,” he says, dead- panning. “I hope you brought sushi. From the place you hate.”

  “No, but I brought news.”

  “Gossip? Out with it then.”

  “Gossip about myself,” I laugh. “Harlow and I are together. Like, in a relationship.”

  He looks at me skeptically. “I know I’m expected to extend congratulations here, but I’m not sure this is the greatest idea…”

  “I know. You think he’s a player and that it’s bad for my career. But you’ll just have to wait and see on the first argument, and I’m about to do something that will be even worse for the second argument.”

  “Let me guess. It involves Dr. Davis?”

  “Yes. Based on the documents I… acquired…”— I wink at him— “Wait, hold on a second. First, I have to tell you something confidential.”

  I lower my voice, and he looks intrigued.

  “We’re engaged,” I tell him, and he nearly jumps out of his chair in shock.

  “You’re what?”

  “Oh crap, I said that wrong,” I tell him. “I just have so many things to tell you that I got them out of order. The engaged part isn’t a secret. As far as you and everyone in the office knows—I’m about to walk out there as soon as Harlow brings me back a ring, and it better be a pretty one, and announce it—we’re engaged. But,” I say, lowering my voice even more. “The secret is that it’s fake. We’re fake engaged.”

  “I see,” rubbing his temples. “I’m assuming this is because of that part of the employee handbook that says—”

  “Yes, that says we’re allowed to be romantically or physically involved if we’re engaged.”

  “Girl, you don’t have to go telling me about your sex life,” he says. “TMI. But I get it now. So go ahead with the other stuff, the real stuff, not the fake stuff, about Dr. Davis.”

  “Yes,” I continue, taking a deep breath. “Based on the documents I found, thanks to your help, I know for sure he’s a bold- faced liar who changes the ‘facts’ to fit his preference. And also that he’s using people for his own advantage. But, listen, Lance, I really do appreciate your support thus far and I can promise you that I won’t do anything to drag you into the middle of this, or hurt your job here…”

  “Whitney. No worries girl. It’s fine.”

  “What’s fine?”

  I’m confused.

  “You can involve me however you want,” Lance says. “I mean, I’d prefer if you not reveal your sources of… information prior to this point… but I completely agree with you that Dr. Davis is a fraud. He thinks he can convince me to not see things I’ve seen with my own two eyes, just because he has power and sway here.”

  I smile, proud of Lance, even though he’s my boss rather than the other way around.

  “If you can take him down, great,” he continues. “Add me to a list of people who will back you up. I don’t know if it’s the best idea for you to let Mr. Bad Boy into your life but I do know he’s ready to be let back into the military, and as his physical therapist, it’s my job to advocate for him truthfully, and not be intimidated by his ridiculous referring doctor.”

  “Thank you!” I say, rushing forward to hug him. “Thank you thank you thank you, Lance!”

  “Geez, you’re welcome,” he says, playfully pushing me off of him. “Now get off me before your crazy ex comes back and sees us and thinks he was right about us having an affair.”

  “Oh my god, that was so lame,” I say. “I’m so glad I’m done with him. He has nothing to do now but report me for things that everyone is already going to know. He says I’m sneaking around with a patient? Well, I can do him one better. I’m engaged to a patient, bitches!”

  “Take that, Tony!” Lance practically shouts. “I have to admit, McHunkerton is a big step up from McMoocherson, at least in the looks and motivation departments. Just don’t let him break your heart, or he’ll have to answer to me.”

  “Yes sir,” I say, nodding in mock solemnness. “And thank you, Lance, for all you’ve done to help me here. I’ve learned so much. Thank you for your amazing letter of recommendation to medical school, too.”

  “You weren’t supposed to
read that,” he jokes. “You’ll get a big head. But you do deserve it.”

  He’s right, I think, as I leave his office. I do deserve it, for once.

  I can’t believe everything is finally falling into place. Now I just have make my fake marriage announcement, which is going to be fun, and then deal with Dr. Davis, which isn’t exactly something I’m looking forward to.

  Chapter 51

  One Week Later

  “I’m so nervous,” Whitney says, fanning herself with the folder full of evidence she’s brought to the meeting with the Board.

  “It’ll be fine,” I say, rubbing her back.

  “So sorry I’m late,” says Riley, rushing through the door.

  “Relax,” I tell her. “You’re not late. It hasn’t even started yet.”

  I turn to introduce her to Whitney.

  “This is Riley, my ever- so- punctual yet always- paranoid- about- being- late almost- sister- in- law.”

  “Hi,” says Whitney, reaching out to shake her hand. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

  “Well then give me a hug,” says Riley, enveloping her in a bear hug. “I’ve heard about you too.” She winks at me. “It’s not everyday that Jensen’s little brother gets a girlfriend. Or, oops, should I say fiancée.”

  Now she winks at Whitney. Because she can’t encourage her clients to lie, Jensen had filled Riley in on the plan with a lot of “wink wink” and “nudge nudge” involved in informing her that his brother was also, wink wink nudge nudge, engaged, and that his fiancee’s job was therefore safe.

  He informed me that there was a lot of surprise and confusion on Riley’s part before she picked up on what he meant. She’s a quick study, that Riley. And I’m very grateful to have her on Team Take Down Dr. Davis.

  “Oooh, I love your ring,” says Whitney, reaching over to grab Riley’s hand and look at it more close up. “It’s so unique.”

  “Thanks,” says Riley. “It was Jensen’s mom’s— and Harlow’s too of course. Their dad passed it down to whoever would become the first Bradford boy to get engaged.”