03 Heller's Girlfriend - Heller

by JD Nixon

  I snortled with laughter. That was so typical of Heller. He had a voracious appetite for one-night stands with multitudes of women. It was the main reason I hadn’t slept with him yet myself. I wasn’t too keen on being just one of the crowd.

  “Geez, he was putting it about freely in those days, wasn’t he?” I laughed.

  Sid chuckled as he negotiated a roundabout. “He sure was.”

  “I thought he was bad enough now. How old was he then?”

  Sid shrugged. “Dunno exactly. About the same age we were, in his early twenties. He’s settled down a lot in the time since we’ve known him. He was such a hell-raiser when we first met him – fighting all the time and screwing every woman he could. He was so wild then, looking for trouble everywhere he went, provoking it. He’s much calmer these days. Doesn’t go out on the prowl as often now.” His eyes shifted to me again. “Especially since you’ve arrived in his life. You’ve been good for him, Tilly.”

  I squirmed in my seat, for some reason desperately needing to change the subject. “What happened when you went to teach him a lesson?”

  “Clive and I planned it to the last second. We knew Heller was working as a security officer for one of the big nationwide companies. You know, the ones with the armoured vans who transport all the money around.” I nodded to show that I knew what he was talking about. “This wasn’t long after he arrived in the country from wherever he lived before. But it didn’t take much time for him to start seriously annoying people. And not just any kind of people, the wrong kind of people.”

  Sid’s phone chirped, indicating a text message. He checked the screen and smiled, but placed it back in the console without responding. “Heller was on a late shift that day, the last to leave the depot because he pulled a lot of overtime, working hard. He wasn’t living far from there, so tended to walk home most of the time. Incidentally, that’s how he found Niq – walking home from work one evening.”

  I nodded again, already having heard that story and Sid continued. “We picked a dark spot, a neglected, empty overgrown lot that Heller used as a shortcut. There was no street lighting, no house windows overlooking it. Perfect for our needs. We took a side each and when he approached, we rushed him.”

  “What happened?” I asked breathlessly.

  “He grinned at us and then it was on. We fought and fought for ages. It was brutal. Clive and I had thought it would be a picnic; that we’d knock him over quickly. Two against one. But we hadn’t counted on Heller. He never gave in. We couldn’t stop him. He was like some kind of robot, just kept fighting no matter what we dished up. It was unbelievable . . . and a little frightening. It was as if he was in a trance or something.”

  Sid stared blindly out the windscreen for a moment, remembering the moment. I thought back on a similar experience when I’d witnessed Heller slipping into a fighting reverie, pummelling a man to unconsciousness – a man who just happened to be my brother. It had been a terrifying experience.

  “After twenty minutes of full-on fighting, we were all exhausted. I was on my knees, Clive could barely see out of two black eyes and Heller was bruised and bleeding everywhere, panting like an animal, but still standing. Then he pulled out a switchblade from his pocket, smiled at us both through his busted lips and said, ‘let’s really get this party started’.” He stared out the windscreen again, into the darkness. “I’ll never forget the way he said it. It was so . . . strangely cold. Almost pleased. Then I realised that he was enjoying himself, would never stop until we were both dead. We were only hired to rough him up, not to be killed. That was when I surrendered and after I did, so did Clive. I wasn’t letting either of us die for that bastard, Kirnin.”

  “Oh wow,” I said softly. “What next?”

  “Heller shook our hands. Can you believe it? Told us we were the most worthy opponents he’d faced for a long time. Told us we shouldn’t do any more work for Kirnin, but should team up with him instead. Told us he wanted to open his own security business when he had a bit more money under his belt and were we interested?”

  “Obviously you were.”

  “Yep. Never looked back. He moved out of the tiny flat he was renting and we all moved in together, into the house he had before he bought his current building. Heller found us jobs at the security business where he was working and we all worked hard, saving every cent we had to open up Heller’s.”

  “So you and Clive are part-owners of Heller’s?”

  “Nope. Heller wouldn’t touch our money. He’s done it all himself. We’ve always just been employees, like you.”

  We pulled into the Warehouse driveway and Sid activated the automatic door. He drove down to the first basement and parked the 4WD amongst all of Heller’s other personal vehicles. The business’ fleet vehicles were parked in the bottom basement below.

  I thanked Sid nicely for the ride and was about to alight when he gently grasped my forearm. I turned, eyebrows raised in query. His face was full of concern.

  “Tilly, you need to know that Clive is very attached to Heller.”

  I stared at him, unsure where the conversation was going.

  “He’s very loyal. He’ll do anything Heller asks him to do.” He sighed heavily. “We had a hard childhood. Our old man was an abusive drunk – physical abuse I’m talking about, not the type that poor Daniel suffered through. He beat us up badly all our lives, until we grew bigger than him. We had to leave home in a hurry when we were fifteen after Clive smashed the arsehole into a coma. At the time we were glad to escape the violence, but we only found life even more violent on the street.” He laughed, but this time it held no amusement. “We were big, ugly kids and now we’re big, ugly men, so we found work easily enough with the wrong kind of people. We soon learned that we were good at shaking folk down for their debts – even poor, vulnerable people. Even elderly women.”

  He was quiet for a beat. “There’s nothing quite like finding yourself threatening to break the legs of a crying seventy-year-old grandmother. Someone on a pension who was forced to borrow money from a loan shark and couldn’t meet the rip-off repayments. Not someone who borrowed the money because she was a gambler or drinker or anything bad like that, but just to feed and clothe her grandkids after her daughter overdosed. Or even worse than threatening her – threatening to break one of her little grandkids’ legs while they bawled and wet themselves in fear in front of her.”

  His silence was longer. “But that’s what we did because we’re talented at intimidation. People were scared of us and hated us for it. And in truth, we hated ourselves for it, but we thought that’s all we were good for. Heller was the first person in our lives to treat us like . . . humans, I guess. Not just brutes and not just weapons, but humans with emotions and dreams and hopes. His friendship and support has meant a lot to both of us. The difference is though that I can see the flaws in the man, but Clive can’t. He worships Heller blindly.”

  “What are you trying to tell me, Sid?”

  He sighed again and wouldn’t meet my eyes. “He’s very loyal. If Heller asked him to rough someone up or make someone . . . disappear . . . one day, he’d do it without thinking twice.”

  My heart suddenly started thumping.

  Sid squeezed my arm. “I just wanted you to know that.” He tried to smile. “I like you, Tilly. You’re a sweet girl, and I think that you’re very good for us all here, especially Heller. But I don’t think you’ve quite realised who you’ve become involved with yet. And I’m worried . . .”

  I waited a few moments for him to continue before I prompted, “Worried about what?”

  “Heller’s a possessive man. And I’ve never seen him take such an interest in a woman before, like he has with you. Just . . . just be careful about him. And be careful about Clive. That’s all, I suppose.” He met my eyes briefly and I could see that he wasn’t joking. “I shouldn’t be saying any of this.”

  Without another word I let myself out of the 4WD and virtually fled upstairs to my little flat. I nee
ded a shower. Especially after hearing all that.

  I swiped open my front door to catch Daniel and Niq sitting on my lounge, feet on my coffee table, watching my TV and eating my food.

  “Guys!” I remonstrated. “What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be in my place unless I say you can.” It was one of the first things I’d insisted on after coming to live in this all-male environment, finding their tendency to treat my home like a public space disconcerting.

  They appeared shamefaced, but not enough to convince me that they really meant it.

  “We’re eating your leftovers,” confessed Daniel.

  “They’re yummier than what Daniel can cook,” said Niq indistinctly, busy stuffing leftover vegetable lasagne into his mouth. I wedged myself on the lounge between them, and looked from one to the other.

  “So, when I’m not here, you two sneak into my flat and raid my fridge?”

  Daniel shrugged. “Sometimes. Depends how long you’re away.”

  “You never have time to make us dinner any more,” pouted Niq, making me feel guilty.

  I was very close to both Daniel and Niq and I tried, but didn’t always succeed, in keeping time dedicated to them. They didn’t realise of course, that I always deliberately made extra of every evening meal, having noticed a long time ago that my leftovers kept mysteriously disappearing from my fridge. Only Heller knew, having surprised me one evening gathering an unusually large amount of food for just one person from the collective pantry he maintained for us. I’d sheepishly explained what I was doing and why, and he’d regarded me with his normal look of amused and affectionate tolerance, shook his head and departed in silence.

  “I want you both to scram right now because I’m tired, but I promise I’ll make dinner for you tomorrow night. All right? Come back then.”

  They reluctantly agreed and left, leaving me to clean up their dirty dishes before I hit the shower and gratefully fell into bed, asleep within minutes.

  Chapter 3

  The next day I gave myself a leave pass, not being assigned to any new jobs after being so ignobly dumped from the Elvis gig. Clive had turned cold, flat eyes to me when I’d gone down to the security section to check on the day’s assignments, his face stony. I’d been about to volunteer to fill in for anyone who’d called in sick, but his unimpressed, crocodilian glance had me turning tail and scuttling away without even opening my mouth.

  So instead I spent the morning industriously cleaning, vacuuming, dusting, washing and mopping in my flat before ringing Mum and my best friend, Dixie, both asking when were they going to see me again?

  More guilt.

  I wandered down to the office to check my email at lunchtime to find Daniel alone, swinging back on his chair with his feet up on his desk, munching on a sandwich and laughing at something on YouTube. Suspicious, I checked quickly to make sure it wasn’t anything related to me before ruffling his hair into a mess.

  “Tilly! Piss off!” he complained, slamming his chair to the ground and immediately stalking to the bathroom to use the mirror to rearrange his stylish locks. I followed him in and hugged him around his lean waist from behind, looking over his shoulder at his reflection, cheek to cheek, watching while he fixed his hair. We were the same height, so my chin rested comfortably on his shoulder.

  “You’re so pretty, my Danny darling,” I teased.

  His eyes shifted to mine in the mirror. “So are you – a pretty big pain in the arse.”

  I laughed. Nothing he ever said could upset me. He was simply the loveliest person I’d ever met and I adored him unconditionally. I smiled at his reflection and squeezed him, kissing his neck. He smelt nice.

  After a few more moments of pretending to be angry with me, he smiled back showing his terrible sweet crooked smile, the long scar that marked the left side of his face preventing him from smiling evenly. Even so, it was an appealing smile, just as everything about him was appealing – gentle, considerate, loving. Able to look after himself, and others too when needed, but not an alpha male and not wanting to be one. And that made a nice change in a business full of testosterone-laden goliaths.

  His brown eyes grew serious. “You know what? I think we should go shopping this afternoon.”

  The levity left our conversation instantly.

  “I don’t know . . .”

  “You have to go back there sometime.”

  “Yes, but every time I go there, something bad happens.”

  “It’s just a shopping centre. You’re giving it more significance than it deserves. It’s only a location – it’s not evil or good.”

  I sighed. He was right. Ever since my accident, I hadn’t returned to the shopping centre where I’d first noticed the car that had been following Niq and me. I was afraid to, starting to think of the place as intrinsically evil. Daniel had been trying to lure me back there, rationalising that it would help me finally push that terrible episode in my life to the background. And that said a lot about his affection for me, because Daniel was very self-conscious of his scars and disliked going out in public. The fact that he was willing to do so for me, encouraging me to go, meant a lot to me.

  “Niq’s happy to shop,” he cajoled, our eyes locked together in the mirror. “It’s important for him too.”

  He knew how to exploit my weak spots. I sighed again. “Okay! Okay! This afternoon.”

  When it came time to leave, I let Daniel drive. I hadn’t driven much at all since the accident. The few times I’d forced myself into the driver’s seat, my hands had been slippery with sweat on the steering wheel and my breathing too laboured to make it a comfortable experience for me or my passengers. Heller patiently assured me that my confidence in driving would return in time, but I had my secret doubts.

  The trip to the centre was uneventful, the walk from the carpark into the mall even more so. I began to relax a little, releasing the breath that I hadn’t even realised I’d been holding as we made it safely inside. My hand clutched Daniel’s so tightly that he grimaced in silent suffering.

  We shopped in some of the specialty stores, the guys loading up on consumer goods as usual, me not finding much of interest as usual. Apart from a few feminine products, Heller supplied me with all my other necessities, including food and clothes. He also had an extensive book and DVD library, so I had little need to buy any of those either. So with him taking care of all those things, I found it hard to think of much else that I wanted to buy, my long years of poverty as an aspiring actor teaching me frugality. Extra time in each day was the one thing I really needed and you couldn’t buy that in any shop.

  We wandered into the large department store that anchored the shopping centre.

  “Hey look, Tilly! You’re wearing the same clothes as the shop assistants,” laughed Niq.

  I looked around in dismay. He was right. I was wearing black trousers and a pale green buttoned shirt and so were all the assistants, the pale green of their corporate colour very similar to that of my shirt.

  “Oh, no!” I groaned. “I didn’t think of that when I dressed.”

  “You have great taste in clothes, Tilly. I hear the department store employee look is big this year,” smiled Daniel, elbowing me. I pulled a face and elbowed him back, harder. But deciding that there was nothing I could do about it now, I looked around me, trying to make up my mind where to browse first.

  “I’m going to look at bras,” I declared finally, immediately causing the other two to scurry away to other sections, muttering vaguely about meeting up with me later.

  I dawdled at the lingerie section, pondering whether or not to purchase the flimsy pieces of lacy nothings I’d spied. Will would undoubtedly appreciate the treat, but the price tag was exorbitant considering the small amount of material involved. What would Heller do if I turned up in his bedroom wearing these one night? I speculated idly to myself with a smile. But when I thought of what he probably would do, I had to move on to another rack quickly, knowing that fantasy would have to wait until I wa
sn’t in public.

  Someone had pawed over the rack of bras in front of me, and they were no longer arranged by size or colour. Tutting to myself, disliking the disorder, I began to rearrange them, humming to myself.

  “Excuse me please, dear.”

  I spun around to find an elderly lady looking up at me with a hopeful glance. I smiled kindly, eyebrows raised.

  “Thank goodness I spotted you. It’s so hard to find someone around here to help. And I just have one little question. I won’t take up much of your time, I promise.”

  “Oh, okay. Sure,” I said and assumed my listening face. Surely I could answer one little question, even if I didn’t know much about the store.

  “Thank you, dear. I’d like to buy some new underwear, but it has to be quality, mind you. None of that cheap rubbish that falls apart after a few washes. Can you recommend a brand for me?”

  “I know just what you need,” I smiled, pleased to be able to help. Heller’s personal stylist, Mei Wong, had introduced me to a wonderful brand, locally made, that lasted forever. “I wear them myself, you know. Very comfortable and sexy.” I blushed. “Oh, I guess you’re not much interested in that.”

  She laughed. “Not these days, dear. Thirty years ago, I would have been. But comfortable suits me fine.”

  “Now, they’re not cheap,” I warned, as I searched for that brand’s rack amongst all the others.

  “Nothing worth having ever is.” She turned up her nose as we passed a rack of exclusive Jules Roux Masquerade lingerie, stopping to check the price tag on a particularly garish set. “Goodness me! Who can afford to buy this over-priced nonsense? Look at it – all leather and chains and feathers. How uncomfortable!”

  I smiled wanly and hurried her on to the rack where the lingerie I’d been searching for was nestled. And I spent the next ten minutes helping her choose half-a-dozen new pairs of sensible granny undies in assorted colours.

  “Thank you so much, dear,” she gushed. “You are the most helpful person I’ve ever encountered in this store.”