Wings

by Danielle Steel

  “Shit!” He muttered to himself as he hurried outside, watching for where the jenny had been, but he couldn't see anything, and the storm front was moving fast now, with terrifying winds and a flash of lightning. Within minutes he was drenched, and there was no sign of Chris or Cassie.

  Chris was fighting with the controls as they gained altitude, and Cassie had turned around and was shouting something to him, but between the storm and the engine's noise, he couldn't hear her.

  “Let me take it!” she was shouting, and at last he understood, as she signaled him with gestures. He shook his head, but she kept nodding at him, and it was obvious that he was being overpowered rapidly by the forces of nature. The force of the wind and the storm were too much for him, and the plane was being tossed around like a child's toy, in his unskilled hands. And then, without saying a word to him, she turned her attention to the controls, and by sheer force, she overpowered him and took them from him. She began flying the plane with her stronger hands on the controls, and within moments, despite the ferocious winds, the plane had almost steadied. Chris stopped fighting her then, and near tears, he let his hands go slack on his set of the controls, and let her fly it. She knew less than he did perhaps, but she seemed to have a relationship with the plane that he couldn't come close to. And he knew that in his hands they would almost surely be destroyed. Maybe in Cassie's there was some hope. For an instant, he closed his eyes and prayed, wishing he had never let her talk him into taking off in the storm.

  They were both drenched in the open cockpit, and the plane was rising and falling on terrifying downdrafts. They would drop a hundred feet or so, and then rise again, although more slowly. It was like being dropped off a building when they fell, and then crawling up the side again, only to be dropped again, like a paper puppet.

  The clouds were almost black as Cassie fought with the stick, but she seemed to sense their altitude almost by instinct. She had an uncanny sense about what the plane would cooperate with, and seemed to work with it to get where she wanted. But they had no idea where they were anymore, how far they had gone, or exactly how high they were. The altimeter was going crazy. Cassie had some idea, but they had totally lost sight of the ground, and a rapidly moving line of clouds had disoriented them completely.

  “We're okay,” she shouted encouragingly back at Chris, but he couldn't hear her. “We're going to be fine,” she kept saying to herself, and then she began talking to the Jenny itself, as though the little plane could follow her directions. She had heard about some of her father's and Nick's tricks, and she knew that there was one that would get them out of this mess, if it didn't kill them. She had to trust her own instincts for this, and she had to be very, very sure… she was talking to herself, into the wind, as the plane began to drop dramatically. She was looking for the lowest edge of the clouds, and counting on finding it before they hit the ground, but if it was too low, and she dropped too fast, or if she lost control for a single instant… it was called scud running, and if you lost… you died. It was as simple as that. And they both knew it, as the little Jenny dropped toward the ground as quickly as Cassie would let it.

  Their speed was terrifying by then, the howling of the wind deafening, as they flew through the inky wet blackness. It seemed like a bottomless place they were (ailing into, filled with horrifying sounds, and terrifying feelings, and then suddenly, almost before she knew, she sensed before she saw, both the treeline, and the ground, and then the airport. She pulled sharply on the stick, and pulled herself up just before they'd have hit the trees. They got lost in the clouds again for a moment or two, but she knew then where she was, and how to approach the airport. She closed her eyes just for a second, feeling where she was, and how fast she could drop, and again she saw the trees, but this time she was in full control. She came in just over them, as the wind tipped her wings, and almost knocked them over. She pulled up and circled the airport again, wondering if they could land at all, or if in the end it would be impossible because of the force of the unpredictable winds. She wasn't afraid, she was just thinking very quietly, and then she saw him. It was Nick waving frantically. He had seen what she'd done, seen her running just under the clouds, and almost hit the ground. She was less than fifty feet above it. He ran to where she should be, and tried to wave her in, on the farthest runway. The angle of the wind was just enough gentler there to allow her to make a breathtaking landing. The little Jenny screeched all the way down the runway, with the wind hard on their faces, and Cassie gritted her teeth so hard her face ached. Her hair was plastered to her head from the rain, and her hands were numb from clutching the stick, and Chris was sitting behind her with his eyes closed. They bounced hard when they hit the ground, and he opened them. He couldn't believe she'd brought them in, he had been sure they were as good as dead; he was still in shock when Nick came rushing up to them, and physically dragged him out of the plane, while Cassie just sat there shaking.

  “What the hell are you two lunatics trying to do? Commit suicide, or bomb the airport?” They had come pretty close to the roof on the way down, but Cassie had decided that was the least of their problems. She was still amazed that she'd brought them in at all, and she had to fight to repress a grin of relief. She'd been so damn scared, and yet a part of her had stayed so cool. All she could do was think about how to get out of it, and talk to the little airplane. “Are you crazy?” Nick was shaking him, and glaring at her, as Pat came running out from the airport.

  “What the hell is going on here?” he shouted at all of them, as the wind buffeted them, and Cassie began worrying about the plane. She didn't want her turned over and damaged as they sat in the wind on the runway.

  “These two fools of yours went out for a joyride in this. I think they're trying to get killed, or destroy your airplanes, I'm not sure which, but they ought to have their butts kicked.” Nick was so furious he could hardly speak, and Pat couldn't believe what he was seeing.

  He stared at Chris in utter astonishment. “You went out in this?“ He was referring to the weather not the plane, as his son knew.

  “I… uh… I just thought we'd go up and come right down… and…”… he wanted to whine as he had as a child, “But, Daddy, Cassie made me…” But he said not a word as his father tried to hide his pride in him. The kid had guts, and he was a hell of a pilot.

  “And you landed her in this? Don't you know how dangerous this kind of weather is? You could have been killed.” Pat couldn't hide the pride in his voice, it was beyond him.

  “I know, Dad. I'm sorry.” Chris was fighting not to cry, and Cassie was watching her father's face. She knew only too well what she saw there. It was raw pride in the accomplishments of his son, or so he thought. It was meant for her, but it went to Chris, because he was a boy, and that was just the way things were. The way they always had been. Whatever she did in life, she knew she had to do it for herself, not for him, because he would never understand it or give her credit for it. She was “only a girl” to him. That was all she ever would be.

  Pat turned to look at Cassie then, almost as though he could hear her thinking. And then he looked at his son again with an angry scowl. “You should never have taken her up in this. It's too dangerous for passengers to be out in bad conditions. You shouldn't have gone up yourself. But never take a passenger into weather like this, son.” She was someone to be protected, but never admired. It was her destiny, and she knew it.

  “Yes, sir.” There were tears standing out in Chris's eyes as his father glanced at the plane, and his son, in fresh amazement.

  “Put her away then.” And with that he walked away, and Nick watched Chris and Cassie put the plane away. Chris looked so shaken he could hardly walk, but Cassie was calm, as she wiped the rain off the plane, and checked the engine. Her brother only looked at her angrily and stalked away, determined never to forgive her for almost killing him. He would never forget how close they had come, and all because of one of her whims. She was completely crazy. She had proved it.
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br />   She put the last of her tools away, and she was surprised when she turned to find Nick standing just behind her. He looked very much like the storm she had just flown through. Her brother was gone, and her father was waiting for them inside the airport.

  “Don't ever do that again. You're a damn fool, and you could have been killed. That little trick only works once in a while for the greats, and usually not for them. It won't work for you again, Cass. Don't try it.” But it had worked for him more than once. And years before, watching him, it had made Fat as angry as Nick was now. His eyes were like steel as he looked at her. He was furious, but there was something else there too. And her heart gave a little leap as she saw it. It was what she had wanted from Pat, and knew she would never get from him. It was admiration, and respect. It was all she wanted.

  “I don't know what you mean.” She looked away from him. Now that she was back on the ground, she felt drained. The exhilaration was almost gone, and what she felt now was the backlash of the terror, and the exhaustion.

  “You know damn well what I mean!” he shouted at her and grabbed her arm, his black hair matted around his face. He had stood staring up at her plane, willing her in, willing her to find the hole in the clouds, to make it. He couldn't have stood losing both of them, seeing them die, and all for a joyride. In the war, they'd had no choice. But this was different. It was so senseless.

  “Let go of me.” She was angry at him. She was angry at all of them. Her brother who got all the glory and didn't know how to fly worth a damn, her father who was so obsessed with him he couldn't see anything, and Nick who thought he knew it all. It was their secret club, they had all the toys, and they would never let her play. She was good enough to fuel their machines and work on their engines, and get their oil and grease in her hair, but never to fly their planes. “Leave me alone!” she shouted at him, and he only grabbed her other arm. He had never seen her like this, and he didn't know whether to spank her or hold her.

  “Cassie, I saw what you did up there!” He was still shouting at her. “I'm not blind. I know Chris can't fly like that! I know you were flying the plane… but you're crazy. You could have gotten yourself killed… you can't do that…” She looked at him with such misery that his heart went out to her. He had wanted to beat her senseless for almost killing herself, and now instead, he felt sorry for her. He understood now as he never had before what she wanted, and how badly she wanted it, and just how much she was willing to do to get it.

  “Cassie, please…” He kept a grip on her arms and pulled her closer to him. “Please… don't ever do anything like that again. I'll teach you myself. I promise. Leave Chris alone. Don't do that to him. I'll teach you. If you want it so badly, I'll do it.” He held her close to him, cradling her like a little girl, grateful that she hadn't been killed by her foolish but daring stunt. He knew he couldn't have stood it. He looked at her unhappily as he held her close to him. They were both badly shaken by what had happened. But she only shook her head at him. She knew how impossible it was. This was the only way she could have it.

  “My father will never let you teach me, Nick,” she said miserably, no longer denying that she had brought Chris in, instead of the other way around. Nick knew the truth, and she knew that. There was no point lying to him. She had done it.

  “I didn't say I'd ask him, Cass. I said I'd do it. Not here.” He smiled ruefully at her, and handed her a clean towel to dry her hair with. “You look like a drowned rat.”

  “At least I don't have grease all over my face for a change,” she said shyly. She felt closer to him than she ever had before. And different. She was drying her hair, as she looked at him again. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. “What do you mean ‘not here.’ Where else would we go?” She felt suddenly grown-up, part of a conspiracy with him. Something had very subtly changed between them.

  “There are half a dozen little strips we can go to. It may not be easy. You could catch a bus to Prairie City after school, and I could meet you there. In the meantime, maybe Chris would drop you off there this summer now and then on his way to work. I imagine he'd rather do that than risk his life several times a week flying with you. I know I would.” Cassie grinned. Poor Chris. She had scared the pants off him, and she knew it. But it had seemed like such a great idea, and for a few minutes it was fun. And after that, it was the scariest thing she had ever done, and the most exciting.

  “Do you mean it?” She looked amazed, but in fact, they both did. He was a little startled himself at what he'd just offered.

  “I guess I do. I never thought I'd do something like this. But I think maybe some instruction will keep you out of a lot more trouble. And maybe after you fly respectably for a while,” he looked at her pointedly, “we can talk to Pat and see if he'll let you fly from here. He'll come around eventually. He has to.”

  “I don't think he will,” she said gloomily, as they went back out into the rain to meet her father in his office. And then, just before they reached it, soaked again, she stopped and looked at him with a smile that melted his very soul. He didn't want to feel that way with her, and it startled him. But they had been through a lot that evening, and it had brought them closer together.

  ‘Thanks, Nick.”

  “Don't mention it. And I mean that.” Her father would have strangled him for giving her lessons. He tousled her wet hair then, and walked her into her father's office. Chris was looking shaken and gray, and his father had just given him a nip of brandy.

  “You okay, Cass?” Pat glanced at her, but saw that she looked none the worse for wear, unlike her brother. But the responsibility had been his after all, and the hard part of landing back at the airport, or at least that was what her father thought, and Chris hadn't told him any different.

  “I'm okay, Dad,” she assured him.

  “You're a brave girl,” he said admiringly, but not admiring enough. It was Nick who had understood. Nick who had agreed to give her what she had always dreamed of. Her dream come true, and she was suddenly glad she had gone up in the storm, even if she had taken a hell of a chance. Maybe in the end, it had been worth it.

  Pat drove Chris and Cassie home, and their mother was waiting for them. As soon as they sat down to dinner, her father told Oona the whole story. Or what he thought was the whole story, of how incredible Chris had been, how he had flown by sheer wit and nerve, and after the initial foolishness of going up in the storm, had brought them home safely. Their father was so proud of him, and Chris said nothing at all. He just went to his room, and lay on his bed and cried, with the door closed.

  Cassie went in to see him after a while. She knocked for a long time, and he finally let her in, with a look that combined anguish and fury.

  “What do you want?”

  ‘To tell you I'm sorry I scared you… and almost got us killed. I'm sorry, Chris. I shouldn't have done it.” She could afford to be magnanimous now, now that Nick had agreed to give her what she had always wanted.

  “I'm never going up in a plane with you again,” he said ominously, glaring at her like a much younger brother who had been used and betrayed by a wilier older sister.

  “You don't have to,” she said quietly, sitting on the edge of his bed as he stared at her.

  “You're giving up flying?” That he'd never believe.

  “Maybe… for now…” She shrugged, as though it didn't matter to her, but he knew her better.

  “I don't believe you.”

  “I'll see. It doesn't matter now. I just wanted to tell you I was sorry.”

  “You should be,” he fired at her, and then he backed down, and reached out and touched her arm. “Thanks though… for saving our asses up there. I really thought we were done for.”

  “So did I,” she grinned excitedly at him. “I really thought for a while there it was over.” And then she giggled.

  “You lunatic,” and then, admiringly, “you're a hell of a pilot, Cass. You gotta learn right one day, and not all this sneaky stuff behind Dad's
back. He's got to let you fly. You're ten times the pilot I'll ever be. I'll bet you're as good as he is.”

  “I doubt that, but you'll be okay. You're a good straightforward pilot, Chris. Just stay out of the tough stuff.”

  “Yeah, thanks,” he grinned at her, no longer wanting to kill her. “I'll remind you of that, next time you offer to take me up and kill me.”

  “I won't, for a while,” she said angelically, but he knew her better.

  “What's that all about? You're up to something, Cass.”

  “No, I'm not. I'm going to behave… for a while anyway…”

  “Lord help us. Just let me know when you decide to go berserk again. I'll be sure to stay away from the airport. Maybe you ought to do that for a while too. I swear, those fumes have made you crazy.”

  “Maybe so,” she said dreamily. But it was more than that, and she knew it. She had those fumes in her blood, her bones, and she knew more than ever that she would never escape them.

  Bobby Strong came by after dinner that night, and he was horrified when he heard her father's tale, and furious with Chris a little later when he saw him.

  “The next time you take my girl up and almost kill her, you'll have to answer to me,” he said, much to Chris's and Cassie's astonishment. “That was a dumb thing to do and you know it.” Chris would have liked to tell him Cassie wanted to, he would have liked to tell him a lot of things, but of course he couldn't.

  “Yeah, sure,” her younger brother mumbled vaguely as he went back to his room. They were all nuts. Bobby, Cass, his father, Nick. None of them knew the truth, none of them knew who was to blame and who wasn't. His father thought he was a criminal, and Cassie had them all bamboozled. But only Cassie knew the truth about that, and Nick, now that he had promised to give her lessons.

  Bobby lectured her that night on how dangerous flying was, how useless, and how foolish; he told her that all the men involved in it were immature, and they were just playing like children. He hoped she had learned a lesson that night, and that she would be more reasonable in the future about hanging around the airport. He expected it of her, he explained. How could she expect to have any kind of future at all if she spent her life covered in grease and oil, and was willing to risk her life on a wild adventure with her brother? Besides, she was a girl, and it wasn't proper.