“Are you nervous?” she asked suddenly.
He spurted out a breath. “Actually, no. Not even the slightest. But it certainly doesn’t trouble me that you are. I understand. And if when we arrive, you change your mind, that’s okay. I won’t be upset. I promise. I already told you, I want you to have a choice. I want whatever makes you happy, Cassandra.”
She sucked in a deep breath. “Thank you, Chad. You need to hurry and get ready before we are late.”
Kissing her quickly, he turned and walked downstairs.
She would pull herself together, for him. He wasn’t weak, she was. Chad didn’t need her. She needed him, she realized.
Chapter Seventeen
Chad had packed swiftly, and thirty minutes later, they were in his vehicle heading to Atlanta.
Once off the back roads and driving on the highway, Cassandra turned toward him. She hadn’t moved to the center seat; instead, she remained on her side of the truck so she had room to breathe. Her question of him having cold feet still played through her mind. Why wouldn’t he be nervous? Were any of the things that Michelle had said true?
“I have another question, Chad. Actually, I have about a hundred, and since we have about seven hours, I figured we could hammer out everything.”
He glanced in her direction, a small smile playing on his lips. “Okay, fire away. I’m game.”
“You’ll be honest with me no matter what?” she asked, embarrassed to even preface her question like that.
This time when he shot a peek at her, his eyes narrowed, taking on a serious countenance. “I always tell the truth, Cassandra.”
Well, Michelle had said that, too. “Okay.” She exhaled a deep breath, not sure whether she really wanted to hear the answers. Did it really matter? Maybe not, but she started her cross-examination anyway. “Have you ever asked another woman to marry you? Besides Michelle, that is.”
He half-laughed, half-choked on the question. “No. It took me over six years to ask Michelle. Do you think I go around asking every woman I’ve met to marry me after only a few days?” He shook his head and huffed through his nose. “Why would you ask such a question?”
Not wanting to lie, she ignored his query. “I have a couple more, please.”
“No,” he countered. “Why would you ask such a ridiculous question, before we continue?” he repeated through his teeth.
“Please, Chad. Allow me a couple of questions.”
He inhaled a deep breath, then let it out slowly as if trying to calm himself, and then he bit down on his lip as if attempting to restrain his words. He had a temper, she realized. She’d seen it surface a few times in the last few days, but he’d always reined it in. Was that what Michelle had been insinuating earlier?
She sat up straighter in her seat. “While seeing Michelle … did you date other women?”
“Yes,” he answered truthfully, though petulantly, his eyes shooting over at her again.
She could see him chewing on the inside of his cheek, but no matter, she needed her questions answered before they took this relationship one more step. “But you never slept with them?” She attempted to keep her tone level, realizing that so far, everything Michelle had said had been true. She didn’t want the rest of it to be true.
“I already told you. I only slept with one woman,” he said, sounding as though her queries were irritating him. “Why these questions, Cassandra? What happened?”
Ignoring him again, she continued with her more important questions. The others didn’t matter as much. But the idea that she’d been a stand-in … that he’d only latched onto her because he couldn’t be alone … that wouldn’t work.
She straightened her back, attempting to maintain her dignity. “If I wasn’t here … would you return to Michelle?”
This time he ignored her. The vehicle slowed, and she could see he was looking for a place to pull over. He brought the truck to a complete stop beneath an overpass, then turned to her, eyes narrowed, jaw tightened.
He released a breath he’d apparently been holding. “No, Cassandra, I wouldn’t. I took Michelle back repeatedly. She cheated on me constantly when she went away six months at a time. I did go out with other women, but only to deal with the boredom. I never cheated on her. She encouraged me to date other women, so she could feel good about dating other men, I suppose. I told you yesterday we had a rather odd relationship. One of the reasons I’m so surprised she won’t give up. But I guess she got used to me continually taking her back.” He turned to look out the front window as he took a breath. “I was a fool. I don’t know why I allowed her to treat me the way she did. It wasn’t as if I couldn’t find another woman.” He turned back to her and shook his head as if he were trying to make sense of the entire conversation. He huffed as he flashed a forced smile. “So, did she call or come by after I left this morning?”
He wasn’t a bit slow, and he certainly wasn’t weak. But Chad definitely had a temper that he was managing to control. What would happen if he lost that ability? she wondered.
“She came over,” Cassandra admitted.
“And let me guess...she told you about my past and how weak I was?”
Astonished, she simply stared at nothing in particular. “Yes.”
He sighed and shook his head. “And you believed everything?”
“No. Innocent until proven guilty, remember?” She returned her eyes to him. “That’s what you requested, so I’m asking. Though it sounds as if she took a lot of what was true and added in lies.”
“Sounds an awful lot like Satan again, doesn’t it?” His eyes narrowed again. “What did she tell you about my history?”
“Nothing really, she basically just insinuated there was more than what you’d already divulged.”
He nodded, pressing his lips into a straight line. “There is, and I’d intended to tell you everything on the plane.” He put his hand under her chin and looked her squarely in the eyes. “But let me ask you a question, Cassandra? Do you still want to marry me, or do you want to leave Nantahala?”
Were those her only choices now? “You would release me, just like that?” she bridled.
“It would be hard as hell, but yes. I won’t compel you into something you don’t want.” He moved his hand up, resting it against her cheek. “Michelle’s wrong about me, you know. She’s always told me how weak I was and how much I needed her. I loved her, so I never argued. Now I wonder why I was such a fool. I don’t love her, and I certainly don’t need her. I’ve been on my own a long time, Cassandra, and I don’t want to be alone any longer. But I assure you, I am not frail. I will survive. I’d be capable of turning this vehicle around immediately if I’m not what you want. I have no desire to replay the past six years. I don’t need someone who wants to control me; I want someone who loves me for who I am.” He stopped abruptly. Evidently seeing the tears well up in her eyes again, his expression softened. “Please don’t cry. I’m not directing this at you. I don’t want you to be distressed. I’m trying to be honest, isn’t that what you wanted?”
She attempted to swallow her tears. “Yes.” She pulled in a deep breath. “I feel so pathetic. I don’t even know why I’m crying.”
“Marry me, Cassandra. Forget Michelle and forget your past. It’s just us now, and I don’t think you are pathetic. You’re passionate … there’s a difference.”
“I threw Michelle out this morning.” She beamed unexpectedly, comforted by his words. “I guess I’m not as weak as I originally thought.”
He chuckled. “You threw her out … physically? That’s hard to visualize. Michelle is cool, but she’s also a deadly weapon.”
She shrugged. “Well, I used my attorney skills. I threatened her with a restraining order.”
“That’s my girl.” He grinned, eyes bright again.
Cassandra smiled too, exhaling, his girl. Clearly, they had plenty to discuss, but they had a lifetime. “Can we start moving, Chad? I don’t want to miss our flight.”
***
Lifting the center console, Chad gathered Cassandra to his side, then pulled back onto the highway. Never in a million years had he imagined Michelle had this kind of reaction in her. Most of the time she acted as if she’d hardly even cared, so for her to go to such great lengths to break up Cassandra and him, seemed completely out of character. Maybe Michelle had needed him, someone she could control.
Well, he’d told the truth; he didn’t need Michelle. He hadn’t needed anyone in a long time. He’d changed after she left in December. He no longer wanted to feel like someone’s play toy. When women realized his disposition, they tried to stomp on him. Yes, he’d always been easy going with women; Jasmine had taught him that. She’d worked with him over the years on how to be a respectable man. She’d taught him to love … to truly love.
Jasmine had read to him out of the Bible where women were to submit to their husbands — but not in the way some men thought. She’d explained that men should be responsible for the family, to make the correct decisions. But a husband was to love his wife as Jesus loved the church — giving all of himself and putting her above his needs and wants. What he found, though, was that when he was kind to a woman, most women tended to walk all over him.
Cassandra was different. She appreciated his kindness, and when she recognized she’d done wrong, she walked away, then came back to restart their introduction. It was a simple gesture, but one that proved she was willing to do her part in a relationship. She was a woman who could admit she was wrong and apologize — unlike Michelle.
The drive passed quickly as Cassandra kept the difficult questions to a minimum. He still needed to tell her everything about his past; it wouldn’t be right to continue their relationship without baring himself completely.
The security check at the airport went smoothly, and before he knew it, they were boarding their plane. Chad helped Cassandra with storing her luggage and then offered her the window seat. As he looked around, he noticed there were plenty of empty seats. Traveling in the middle of the day had been a good idea. The passengers within listening distance had already donned their earphones to watch the movie or listen to their own Smartphones or were working on their laptops.
He took Cassandra’s hand in his and turned to her. She obviously knew it was time and rested her head sideways against the headrest and looked at him with expectancy. It was hard to think being so close. Her eyes were stunning, the color of water in Greece, an interesting blend between deep green and blue. “Your eyes are amazing, Cassandra.”
She smiled lightly in thanks, but said nothing in response, content to listen it seemed.
“When I was a teenager, I was a spoiled brat.” He started right into his past before he lost his nerve. He’d only told a few people his story. “My father was a successful physician who ran his own practice, and my mother was a Southern Belle from old Georgia money. I grew up in an affluent suburb of Atlanta called Roswell. My parents were extremely busy with their life. If my father wasn’t working, he was golfing. My mother didn’t work, but she spent most of her days socializing and her evenings out with my father at one function or another. Not that I’m blaming anyone, but I spent my youth alone, but spoiled to the point that I had anything I wanted. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough. To fill my time, I started to drink and do drugs with other rich, latchkey kids in the neighborhood. By the age of fifteen, I was doing anything and everything I could get my hands on.
“My parents had me admitted into a drug rehab on several occasions, but it was no use. I had no desire to recover. After one extended stay in rehab, I returned home … angry at the world. I don’t even know why I was angry; I just hated everyone and everything. I locked myself away in my room, refusing to socialize with anyone.
“On my fifteenth birthday, I decided to have a party while my parents were out at some society function. I was supposed to be watching my younger brother who was only five at the time, but instead, I sent him to bed and invited my so-called friends over to do as they pleased.
Chad gazed deeply into Cassandra’s eyes before continuing.
“Yes, I had a younger brother. I didn’t mention Nathan because he’s gone, and it’s entirely my fault. Nathan evidently decided to come out of his bedroom. But since there’d been too many people in the house to count, the party overflowed to the outside patio. My brother drowned because of me, Cassandra. Because I was a good-for-nothing loser.”
Cassandra brought her hands to her mouth as her eyes immediately filled. “Chad, I’m so sorry.”
He shook his head fiercely. “Don’t feel sorry for me, Cassandra. It was my fault. I had one responsibility … to watch my younger brother, the only person I really loved in the world, and I failed.” He shook his head. “But it gets worse. My mother, who never acted as if she’d cared about either of us children, went insane when she arrived at the hospital. She attacked me. The hospital had to restrain her, then ended up admitting her. When she came home a few days later, she took a bottle of sedatives she’d been prescribed, along with too much alcohol, killing herself.”
His head dropped to his chest as he felt the tears that always came whenever he relived this passage of his life. He felt Cassandra’s hand on his face, comforting him.
“You would think I would have gotten better, but I didn’t. I managed to get myself thrown back into rehab again, and when I came out, I even tried to commit suicide by trying to hang myself. Luckily, my father came home and found me just in time. He sent me away for the fourth time, but it was no use; I didn’t want to get better.
“While I was away, my father met Jasmine. He’d been so distraught that he went to church; we hadn’t been to church as a family in years. Jasmine followed him down to the altar and prayed with him. She didn’t know him, but she’d said she felt the Lord telling her he needed help.” He managed a smile as he thought back to the first time he’d met Jasmine. “It had only been a few weeks after my mother’s death when they met, and when I returned home, Jasmine was there alongside my father, waiting for me.
“I almost went over the edge again. How could my father have replaced my mother so quickly? But Jasmine took my anger and absorbed it. Never getting ill-tempered with me, she was simply there. Every day she would arrive at the house after school and sit with me until my father returned. I lashed out at her, hurling insults every chance I got, but she refused to surrender. Then one day, I broke down and cried like a baby in her arms.
“She led me to Christ, assuring me that I could be forgiven, and that I didn’t have to hold on to the pain and guilt, that I would truly be washed clean and could begin a new life. Exactly six months after Jasmine and my father met, they were married. Hence the six months per the will, I believe.”
He smiled at Cassandra, happy to turn the conversation to a happier topic. Without uttering a word, she’d listened to everything he’d said and hadn’t once looked at him as though he were someone not to be trusted as Michelle had when he’d told her.
“If it weren’t for Jasmine, I would have died, Cassandra; there’s absolutely no doubt in my mind. I know the other day you were upset that she’d left you, and I know she was probably wrong. But if she hadn’t been there for me, I assure you I wouldn’t be here today. Jasmine not only helped me quit drinking and drugs, she helped with my school until I caught up with my class and helped me make it through high school, and then of course, college. I owe her everything, and now I owe her for you, too.”
Cassandra moved closer to his face, kissing him lightly. “I love you, Chad. That couldn’t have been easy, but I’m glad you trusted me enough to divulge your past.”
“You still want to marry me?” he asked.
“More than ever,” she avowed. “What a situation to overcome. How could anyone accuse you of being weak? I’m so glad Jasmine was there for you. Funny how things happen. I always heard that God works all things for good for those who love the Lord, but just imagine, he took an adulterer and turned her into a healer.”
Chad win
ced at Cassandra’s words, even though he knew they were true. Jasmine had confessed her past to him. “Did you know she would go and watch you every year on your birthday, Cassandra?”
She blinked wide in surprise. “She wrote me a letter telling me she saw me when I was eighteen, but there was more than one instance?”
He nodded. “She’d flown down several times over the years I knew her, before you left for college. I continually asked her why she didn’t make contact, and she said it was up to you. She didn’t think it proper to interfere with the life your father had made for you. She’d said you always looked happy, but she’d hoped one day you would seek her out.”
Cassandra rested her head on his shoulder. “Thank you, Chad. I needed that information.”
“I know.” He sighed. “She loved you, Cassandra. Whenever she returned, she’d cry for days. You have her smile you know.”
She huffed lightly, releasing a soft chuckle. “My dad always told me I did. I never thought I looked like her, though. She always looked like a princess to me.”
“You’re right. You don’t look like her.” He lifted her chin and kissed her. “You are much more beautiful, and I would say you look like a Greek goddess, more than a princess.”
Blushing, she smiled at him. “Thank you, Chad.”
Chapter Eighteen
Chad was happy about his decision to pay extra for a direct flight; they had only lost an hour. He trailed Cassandra to the luggage carousel, retrieved their luggage, and then headed to the rental car pickup.
Cassandra looked up at him as they made their way to the car. “Are you ever going to tell me what you scheduled this weekend?”
He squeezed his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. “Yep, as we arrive at each individual location.”
“No fair,” Cassandra whined playfully. “Shouldn’t I have some prerogative over our honeymoon?”
Southern Romantic-Suspense Boxed Set (Southern Romantic-Suspense Novel Book 0) Page 79
